Rorschach sporks the Maradonia series, which is enough to have him declared legally insane in most countries. He’s also sporked a few other series, is considered to be the world’s leading expert on Robert Stanek, and has only been sued once. He enjoys chronicling the dubious self-promotional methods of certain authors probably a bit more than is healthy.
When he isn’t writing bios about himself in the third person or writing for II or his inappropriately-titled website – Conjugalfelicity.com – he can be found writing novels, short stories, and making films.
Articles by Rorschach:
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Teams
Rating: Fire
By Rorschach on 6 December 2009 in Miscellaneous Pieces Comment (34) -
In Sloan's Defense: An Eragon Essay
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 14 February 2011 in Criticism Comment (36) -
A Trip Inside the Minds of Team Tesch
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 20 March 2011 in Criticism Comment (65) -
The Lord of the Rings Spork, Part One
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 1 April 2012 in Sporkings Comment (55) -
Gloria Tesch's "How to Overcome Writer's Block"
Rating: E
By Rorschach on 12 September 2012 in Criticism Comment (58) -
Maggie Goes On A Diet
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 22 September 2012 in Sporkings Comment (30) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 1: Underestimated By Vulnerability
Rating: Barely Tolerable
By Rorschach on 30 September 2013 in Sporkings Comment (26) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 2: The Scarlet Letter
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 10 October 2013 in Sporkings Comment (27) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 3: Team Jacob
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 26 October 2013 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 4: The Jedi Ent
Rating: Mildly Burnt Toast
By Rorschach on 14 November 2013 in Criticism Comment (37) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 5: That Sensuous Mare
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 8 December 2013 in Sporkings Comment (20) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 6: Tight-Fitting Pants
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 10 January 2014 in Sporkings Comment (15) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 7: Abortion Via Rattlesnake
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 13 January 2014 in Sporkings Comment (36) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 8: Not So Living But Not Yet Dead
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 11 February 2014 in Sporkings Comment (33) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 9: Highly Lethal
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 22 February 2014 in Sporkings Comment (42) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 10: An Astronomically Perilous Volume of Horrors
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 6 March 2014 in Sporkings Comment (20) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 11: Fluorescent Pinks And Fuchsias
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 March 2014 in Sporkings Comment (43) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 12: Smooth, Precise, and Quite Handsome
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 8 April 2014 in Sporkings Comment (14) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 13: The Concept of Pants
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 24 April 2014 in Sporkings Comment (31) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 14: Eternal Purgatory
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 4 May 2014 in Sporkings Comment (10) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 15: Fierce But Genital
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 14 May 2014 in Sporkings Comment (10) -
At First Glance Spork, Pt. 16: The End
Rating: A+
By Rorschach on 23 May 2014 in Sporkings Comment (6) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 1: The Placid Shrubberies
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 27 July 2014 in Sporkings Comment (14) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 2: The Ire of a Draconic Wizard
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 30 July 2014 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 3: Euphemistic Visages
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 7 August 2014 in Sporkings Comment (21) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 4: A Deadly Aurora Borealis
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 20 August 2014 in Sporkings Comment (12) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 5: An Incontinent Minotaur
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 2 September 2014 in Sporkings Comment (12) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 6: Negative Luminosity
Rating: Just Awful
By Rorschach on 18 September 2014 in Sporkings Comment (6) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 7: Infinitely Reflexive Nihilistic Conjecture
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 7 October 2014 in Sporkings Comment (11) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 8: The Perfunctory Ruthlessness Of An Unrestrained CPU
Rating: G
By Rorschach on 16 October 2014 in Sporkings Comment (14) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 9: The Chilled Optical Abomination
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 5 January 2015 in Sporkings Comment (8) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 10: The Ultimate Doppelganger
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 18 February 2015 in Sporkings Comment (8) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 11: An Ecstacy of Cognition
Rating: Troll
By Rorschach on 21 February 2015 in Sporkings Comment (6) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 12: A Horrific Frothing Sound
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 26 February 2015 in Sporkings Comment (17) -
Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Pt 13: Tendrils of Ephemeral Aether
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 16 March 2015 in Sporkings Comment (11) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 1: His Penetrating Gaze
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 6 June 2012 in Sporkings Comment (41) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 2: Raging Female Hormones
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 14 June 2012 in Sporkings Comment (26) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 3: So Freaking Hot
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 6 July 2012 in Sporkings Comment (21) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 4: The Spanish Inquisition
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 18 July 2012 in Sporkings Comment (21) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 5: A Scorching Smoky Gray
Rating: NERSFW
By Rorschach on 25 July 2012 in Sporkings Comment (31) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 6: Steel Encased in Velvet
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 12 August 2012 in Sporkings Comment (29) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 7: A Very Moist and Integral Part
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 20 August 2012 in Sporkings Comment (47) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 8: Just Gloriously Yummy
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 27 August 2012 in Sporkings Comment (48) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 9: A Sensual Warning
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 31 August 2012 in Sporkings Comment (32) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 10: Fisting In My Hair
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 20 September 2012 in Sporkings Comment (39) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 11: Demeaned, Debased, And Abused
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 26 September 2012 in Sporkings Comment (24) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 12: Please Don't Hit Me
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 1 October 2012 in Sporkings Comment (23) -
Fifty Shades of Grey, Pt. 13: The Extent of His Depravity
Rating: R
By Rorschach on 15 October 2012 in Sporkings Comment (34) -
Fifty Shades Trilogy Review
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 27 November 2012 in Criticism Comment (90) -
Twilight with Vampires
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 24 February 2010 in Miscellaneous Pieces Comment (32) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part One
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 25 April 2010 in Sporkings Comment (39) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Two
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 2 May 2010 in Sporkings Comment (24) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Three
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 10 May 2010 in Criticism Comment (36) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Four
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 27 May 2010 in Sporkings Comment (29) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Five
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 May 2010 in Sporkings Comment (21) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Six
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 2 July 2010 in Sporkings Comment (23) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Seven
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 11 July 2010 in Sporkings Comment (18) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Eight
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 July 2010 in Sporkings Comment (17) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Nine
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 July 2010 in Sporkings Comment (34) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Ten
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 13 August 2010 in Sporkings Comment (25) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Eleven
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 August 2010 in Sporkings Comment (20) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twelve
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 7 September 2010 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Thirteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 15 September 2010 in Sporkings Comment (31) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Fourteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 26 September 2010 in Sporkings Comment (25) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Fifteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 7 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (27) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Sixteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (14) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Seventeen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 6 November 2010 in Sporkings Comment (17) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Eighteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 November 2010 in Sporkings Comment (23) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Nineteen
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 3 December 2010 in Sporkings Comment (25) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 9 December 2010 in Sporkings Comment (21) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-One
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 23 December 2010 in Sporkings Comment (22) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Two
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 16 January 2011 in Sporkings Comment (24) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Three
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 22 January 2011 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Four
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 9 February 2011 in Sporkings Comment (27) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Five
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 23 February 2011 in Sporkings Comment (32) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Six
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 4 March 2011 in Sporkings Comment (28) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Seven
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 9 March 2011 in Sporkings Comment (41) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Eight
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 22 March 2011 in Sporkings Comment (116) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Twenty-Nine
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 28 March 2011 in Sporkings Comment (47) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Thirty
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 6 April 2011 in Sporkings Comment (47) -
Maradonia Sporkings: Part Thirty-One
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 8 April 2011 in Sporkings Comment (132) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 1: "This is a Shame and Not a Game!"
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 14 April 2011 in Sporkings Comment (97) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 2: This Piece of Crap
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 25 April 2011 in Sporkings Comment (57) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 3: Tasting the Supernatural
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 1 May 2011 in Sporkings Comment (45) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 4: A Herd of Flying Pigs
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 13 May 2011 in Sporkings Comment (56) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 5: Death By Ouija Board
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 22 May 2011 in Sporkings Comment (60) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 6: Perfectly Timed Cancer
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 May 2011 in Sporkings Comment (51) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 7: Miracle Swing Word of Magic
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 3 June 2011 in Sporkings Comment (64) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 8: Mostly Pretty Drunk
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 11 June 2011 in Sporkings Comment (77) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 9: My Needs and My Feelings
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 June 2011 in Sporkings Comment (32) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 10: The Sunny Side of Life
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 8 July 2011 in Sporkings Comment (57) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 11: A Unique Technique
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 21 July 2011 in Sporkings Comment (52) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 12: Smell the Weasels
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 July 2011 in Sporkings Comment (71) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 13: A Powerful Support Network
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 8 August 2011 in Sporkings Comment (54) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 14: The Darkness is Dark
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 14 August 2011 in Sporkings Comment (57) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 15: World War Three
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 26 August 2011 in Sporkings Comment (115) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 16: Their Sheep Turned Green
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 16 September 2011 in Sporkings Comment (55) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 17: Benji-Mouse
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 22 September 2011 in Sporkings Comment (63) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 18: A Heavy Attitude Problem
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 4 October 2011 in Sporkings Comment (84) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 19: Enough of This Drama
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 October 2011 in Sporkings Comment (62) -
And Now For Something Completely Different....
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 27 October 2011 in Sporkings Comment (17) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 20: The Circumstances of My Life
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 October 2011 in Sporkings Comment (56) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 21: Flying Pit Bulls
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 4 November 2011 in Sporkings Comment (71) -
Gold of Ophir Spork Pt. 22: My Harmless, Innocent, and Inoffensive Mind
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 10 November 2011 in Sporkings Comment (63) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 1: The Ancient Bow and Arrow Secrets
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 November 2011 in Sporkings Comment (56) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 2: The Duet of Evil
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 November 2011 in Sporkings Comment (56) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 3: Empty Shell People
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 9 December 2011 in Sporkings Comment (74) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 4: Balls of Fire
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 18 December 2011 in Sporkings Comment (65) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 5: Her Physical Gifts
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 December 2011 in Sporkings Comment (56) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 6: Kissy Kissy Time
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 5 January 2012 in Sporkings Comment (53) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 7: The Decoy Graveyard
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 10 January 2012 in Sporkings Comment (61) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 8: "Rain or Shine, Fishing is Fine!"
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 26 January 2012 in Sporkings Comment (86) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 9: A Warm Welcome Wagon
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 11 February 2012 in Sporkings Comment (41) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 10: The Exploding Taste of a Cardio Tonic
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 17 February 2012 in Sporkings Comment (27) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 11: Sparkling Elixir of Crystal Glitter
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 3 March 2012 in Sporkings Comment (38) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt. 12: Spiritual Frontier Commuters
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 10 March 2012 in Sporkings Comment (68) -
Law of Blood Spork Pt 13: Pretty Shallow Minded and Mean
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 March 2012 in Sporkings Comment (125) -
Maradonia Reloaded, Part One: 9/11
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 15 June 2012 in Sporkings Comment (129) -
Maradonia Reloaded, Part Two: Kitty and the Mouse-chens
Rating: T
By Rorschach on 15 July 2012 in Sporkings Comment (53) -
The State of the Maradonia Movie
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 30 April 2013 in Criticism Discuss (88) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter One: Lots of Stock Footage
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 11 October 2016 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter Two: General Cinematic Ineptitude
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 16 October 2016 in Sporkings Comment (8) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter Three: An Indiana Jones Deathtrap
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 29 October 2016 in Sporkings Comment (10) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter Four: The Lisping Fairy
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 6 November 2016 in Criticism Comment (7) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter Five: Jungle Poison
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 3 December 2016 in Sporkings Comment (7) -
Maradonia: The Shadow Empire, Chapter Seven: Insipid Little Children
Rating: NSFL
By Rorschach on 3 February 2017 in Sporkings Comment (12) -
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles Spork pt. 1
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 17 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (23) -
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles Spork pt. 2
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 19 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (30) -
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles Spork pt. 3
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 21 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (13) -
The Legend of Rah and the Muggles Spork pt. 4
Rating: N
By Rorschach on 27 October 2010 in Sporkings Comment (18) -
The Maradonia Movie Trailer
Rating: Awesome
By Rorschach on 17 June 2015 in Criticism Comment (19)