Chapter Three, Part 2
Dennagon wrenched open his eyes, terrified at the visions that bombarded his mind (page 64).
Okay. So were those previous scenes intended to be some kind of vision he’s having?
Despite his terrorized posture, the dark ocean of his dreams only existed as dreams, and nothing more. It took him a second to realize that fact.
“Where am I?! What is time?! Certainty lies in one’s mind, but how can I know anything for certain?!” his random thoughts rambled (page 64).
First, you can’t terrorize your posture. Second, if he’s wondering where he is, why is he pondering the concept of time? Third, if certainty lies within your mind, it seems to follow – you know what, never mind.
He looks around and sees all the trees are growing upside-down with their roots poking up toward the sky, which doesn’t sound like it would work in real life but okay.
This must have been the Pedorian Forest (page 65).
No. This must be the Pedorian Forest. You’re not looking at the smoldering remains of what used to be. Present tense, Eng. Even Gloria Tesch writes better than this.
…sometimes.
The wurm shows up. It’s named Dradicus. Dennagon just knows this without any introduction because Eng forgot about it, I assume. The wurm has a ‘goofy expression’ which doesn’t help me take this chapter any more seriously.
Faster than lightning, Dennagon grabbed the opponent by the throat and slammed him into a ground-dwelling canopy. Dradicus’ googly pupils ringed around his rounded eyes disoriented (page 65).
Take a closer look at the second sentence in that quote, my friends. Read it out loud. Read it a second time. That’s an actual sentence from this book.
I do wonder how the wurm was able to immediately overpower Dennagon when they first met but now Dennagon is able to throw him around without a problem.
Two other dragons come in and pull Dennagon off Dradicus and throw him to the ground.
Dennagon understood only one thing. They attacked him, and thus, were the enemy (page 65).
Technically, they didn’t attack him so much as drag him off a wurm he was strangling, but those minor distinctions mean nothing to someone as intelligent and educated as our draconic hero.
However, his sword is gone. The ouroboros (stolen from Greek history) has it. There’s an uninteresting fight scene which is broken up by the appearance of Lyconel.
Dennagon helpfully exposits that they’re all “Errants.” He clarifies: “Dissidents.” That was helpful. He says that he won’t reveal anything no matter what they do to him, but for the sake of curiosity, he’d like to know what they want. Lyconel says they want……..him.
Dennagon looked at her. Her eyes were straighter than the path of the fastest light ray (page 67).
That doesn’t make any fucking sense on so many different levels.
Dennagon laughs and says that trying to blackmail the collective is pointless.
“They want me back as much as they want to suck the bladder of an incontinent minotaur” (page 67).
That’s a lovely mental image.
Lyconel explains they’re here to help. The attack on Drakemight was not intended to eliminate data. Instead…well, we get into the “long ago”. Way back when, there was a “point that encompassed all moments in time” and that is what the humans actually want. And the humans have already managed to tap into the source of time. She pulls out something that looks a bit like a gun. One of the other dragons throws a helmet in the air. Lyconel fires and reduces the helm into shrapnel.
This makes Dennagon’s mouth drop open. I…really don’t know why. He’s already squared off against nuclear weapons without batting an eyelash. Why does a relatively simple machine-gun blow his mind?
I’m already more than certain this book was never edited, but now I suspect it was also written out of order.
Lyconel explains the machine gun is only a sample of what humans are capable of. And only dragons are smart enough to stop the humans from destroying everything.
Dennagon doesn’t believe a word of it. He points out that dragons keep wisdom, humans aren’t particularly powerful, and it’s not likely that they have powers from tapping into the source of time. And that he really needs to get back to collecting knowledge. One of the other dragons shoots an arrow up which scatters the leaves enough to reveal the night sky, which makes me suspect Eng doesn’t know how bows and arrows work. But apparently, the ashes of Drakemight still linger in the air. Which they can see, even though it’s dark.
“Drakemight is no more.” (page 70)
Well. Yeah. Getting hit by a few hundred nukes will take care of most cities. More importantly, why does Dennagon not remember what happened literally a few hours before? He’s already guessed the humans were behind the nuclear attack, and now he’s trying to argue that humans don’t pose a threat?
Maybe he has incurable brain damage. We can always hope.
Lyconel says they’re his only hope if he doesn’t want to aimlessly roam the earth for the rest of his life. Dennagon agrees, on the condition that he gets his sword back. Nomax (whose name Dennagon knows as well, for unexplained reasons) throws it back.
With a handkerchief of human skin, he wiped off the filthy claw prints (page 71).
A…handkerchief…made out of human skin?
Okay.
There’s a noise and they all dive for cover. It turns out to be a bunch of sentries from Drakemight who are out…well, leaving, I guess. Dennagon thinks through his options. He considers signaling the sentries and wiping out Lyconel and the rest of the dissidents, who he doesn’t particularly trust, but then realizes he doesn’t really trust anyone at Drakemight either.
The tension virtually permeated the air. He could feel one of his new allies immersed in terror, another that was stooped in clandestine, covert thoughts, another that pondered meticulously, and the last that just plainly wanted to kill him (page 72).
Interesting, dragons have a mild form of ESP. That’s handy. I mean, if I was Dennagon, I would use it on Lyconel when she’s talking to see whether she’s telling the truth (or, at least, if she believes in what she’s saying – it’s useful information either way). Something tells me this ability won’t be used in any meaningful way.
Anyway, Dennagon decides not to betray them. They all wait until the sentries pass. Lyconel gets up.
“Follow my lead,” she advisedly commanded (page 73).
Seriously, Eng? Advisedly commanded?
We cut forward. In the middle of the forest there’s an upside-down lake that hovers in midair, and the Drakemight sentries settle there. We’re treated to an idiotic argument between two sentries, which I’ll skip. We rejoin Dennagon and co. at the outskirts of the lake and learn something new:
“The Drakemight collective organized that attack upon itself. They’re as much the enemies as the sapiens are.” (page 76).
The nuclear attack? Or the knight attack? Either way, this is kind’ve a huge piece of information, so naturally Dennagon doesn’t think about it at all.
A cloud swoops overhead. It’s the dragon-king, Drekkenoth. He lands at the center and all the sentries gather round.
Loyally as canines, the sentries did wait, every moment their pupils focused upon their master (page 77).
Drekkenoth tells the dragons that while the walls were destroyed, they haven’t lost the battle. Actually, they’ve definitely lost the battle. I think he means they haven’t lost the war yet. He goes on to say they need to advance on the human armies. The sentries aren’t happy about that, pointing out that they can’t really fight against nuclear weapons.
“I say his leadership wavers,” said the last sentry. “He cannot command us any longer.” (page 78)
Wow. Took one page and less than five minutes for the dragons to go from canine loyalty to Julius Caesar.
The dragons attack and Drekkenoth slaughters them without much of a problem.
Blood splattered all over and severed body parts were cast in all directions, the duress of a bestial fury untamed directing the wrath without care for life (page 80).
Eventually things settle down. Drekkenoth informs the survivors that the information has made him as strong as a million dragons. He then throws a bunch of the black data orbs and all the dragons take off after them in need of food. After a few minutes Arxinor and Gorgash fly down to join him and share some helpful exposition.
“That went as calculated,” remarked Arxinor.
“Their pace in downloading has quickened,” descried Gorgash.
“Their minds will grow weak with the cognitive venom we have implanted.” (page 81)
For the love of Paolini, Eng. Use “said”.
At any rate, I’m guessing that this plot point means Drekkenoth has been poisoning the minds of all the dragons, but Dennagon, being the lone abstainer, has been immune from the mindvirus.
Gorgash asks about Dennagon, but Drekkenoth says he’s irrelevant. Evil Overlord Mistake.
Dennagon’s mind is completely blown. He’s completely lost track of what he believes and what is Real and what is not and whether magic has poisoned his thoughts. He concludes that he must be dreaming, and the only way out of a dream is to die, so he starts walking towards Drekkenoth to be killed. However, Nomax sees this and bashes him into unconsciousness with a large rock, because while buildings collapsing on top of him can be shrugged off, a fist or rock really does the trick.
Lone Wolf on 2 September 2014, 02:26 said:
He’s completely lost track of what he believes and what is Real and what is not and whether magic has poisoned his thoughts. He concludes that he must be dreaming, and the only way out of a dream is to die, so he starts walking towards Drekkenoth to be killed.
I sympathize with him a lot.
This book is incoherent. I mean, people complained that Robert Stanek or even Gloria Tesch are impossible to understand, but I didn’t find them too hard. Stanek is just boring ultra-generic medieval fantasy fare, and Tesch is one disjointed episode where the heroes defeat the loosely-connected bad guys one after another. But I don’t understand what’s going on here, and I don’t think it’s the sporker’s fault.
Maybe it all is Dennagon’s dream. This is the only way the book makes sense at all.
The Smith of Lie on 2 September 2014, 04:21 said:
Well, that escalated fast. Even the At First Glance managed to stay more or less coherent up to about half-point before going off of the deep end.
lilyWhite on 2 September 2014, 06:37 said:
So…Dennagon has some form of Tourette’s that causes him to randomly blurt out philosophical-sounding bullcrap? (Because I don’t expect the author to actually understand Tourette’s.)
Well, it only takes one look into my eyes to tell which team I bat for. X3
…I’m just imagining that he uploaded porn into their brains.
swenson on 2 September 2014, 08:33 said:
I’m pretty sure that’s not what descry even means, by the way.
Worse, he’s ultra-generic medieval fantasy fare with random chunks cut out of the narrative.
Every time I try to go read the Stanek sporks, I get confused and think that surely I have missed a spork or two, but no, it’s just because the books skip randomly forward and assume you already understand everything.
At its worst, At First Glance still used language in a comprehensible way. This? This just… advisedly commanded? Googled around disoriented? Wat.
This makes so much sense.
Juracan on 2 September 2014, 11:39 said:
There’s a dragon going around with its tail in its mouth? Like a hoop snake? ‘Cause you see, the Oroboros isn’t a type of dragon as much as a symbol— no ancient Greek writers actually thought that there was a giant snake dragon wheeling around with its tail in its mouth.
Wat
No seriously, why would you make a handkerchief of skin?
Fireshark on 2 September 2014, 14:27 said:
Honestly, both versions sound equally bad to me. If I were writing it I’d go with what you said, but add in quotes and the words “…thought Dennagon” at the end. Putting a sentence in present tense in a book that’s in past tense just looks weird, even if it’s supposed to represent a character’s thoughts.
On another note, I honestly cannot tell from reading this whether the book is supposed to be funny or not. My best guess is that Eng was going for over-the-top cool. What do you guys think?
Lone Wolf on 2 September 2014, 14:44 said:
Yeah, the author is definitely going for OMGSOEPIC here.
The Smith of Lie on 4 September 2014, 04:20 said:
I don’t know how I managed not to mention this previously, but that quote is a thing of beauty.
I am not sure which image is more baffliny and hillarious – a ground-dwelling canopy (Eng, I don’t think this word means what you think it means) or wurm with googly eyes. But he must be a champ at rolling them at least.
It is a shame that writing is atrocious, since underneath there is a story that could be pretty decent. As I mentioned few chapters back, we have dystopian draconic society ruled by corrupt government feeding their subjects with megabytes of porn (the horror!), somewhat morally ambigious rebels and humanity somehow tied into it. It has all the makings of pretty decent fantasy.
But then we have limbless wurms with googly eyes picking up stones and knocking out a draconic demigod who just withstood a nuclear blast with them. That and a ground-dwelling canopy.
Such ephemeral visages are nothing but phantom piffle on the wind.
Lone Wolf on 4 September 2014, 13:38 said:
Is there any chance that “What is time?!” was intended to mean “What time is it?” I am actually not sure.
I wonder whether the rest of the book consists of Dennagon defeating random enemies. He would’ve been a Mary Sue, had the book been more coherent.
Maybe the reason no one of us can understand the plot of Kenneth Egg’s book is that he’s truly a superior intellect, and we’re just stupid :(
WarriorsGate on 7 September 2014, 14:54 said:
CRACKS KNUCKLES
Let me give it a shot.
I think Eng is going for a mash-up of Gnosticism and holographic universe theory, where time and space are illusions made of 2D data being projected in three dimensions, and everybody is trapped inside it. The book seems to follow the Bohm interpretation of quantum mechanics, where space and time are not the fundamental ground of reality, but stem from a deeper order that transcends them both. So the villains are searching for the absolute unity underneath the illusion so they can control time and space.
Again, I think that’s what’s going on, but this crap is too convoluted to be sure.
Incidentally, the Gnostics nicked the idea of an absolute reality from the Greek “Logos”, which is another word for “Lexicon”, so there’s that explained.
See, it does kind of make sense. Sometimes. If you squint at it really hard.
Lone Wolf on 7 September 2014, 17:37 said:
W…wait, there’s actually religious, philosophical and scientific base behind all that? The author’s execution really sucks.
A on 8 September 2014, 21:36 said:
Does that make it better or worse? I mean, if he is really grappling with Gnosticism and quantum mechanics, that means he put waaay more effort into this crap than it really deserves.
And if he isn’t, then that suggests that the semi-literate spewings of a lunatic racist shut-in bear an uncomfortable resemblance to the scholarly works of noted thinkers.
The former is pretty sad, but the latter is terrifying.