Chapter Thirty-Eight – The Veil
Count Argo Navis is speechless as he watches Joey destroy the fortress. So, like most people who are speechless, he starts asking questions. Maya and Joey explain that they’re not from this world. Navis then talks about how when he was a boy, he heard stories about Veils, also known as Spiritual Curtains, that would separate the supernatural world from the natural world. Why, precisely, they do that is not explained. However, Navis has heard that occasionally human beings slip through the Veils and get into the legendary world. Also, once you go supernatural you can never go back.
Maya and Joey are intrigued by this, so Navis exposits that only ghosts and spirits of the dead (aren’t those…ghosts?) are able to go through the veils. Of course. It all makes sense now! Maya and Joey drowned at the Pebble Beach in the first book and have just been hallucinating everything since then. That’s why they have just ridiculous godlike powers!
Joey, however, says that they’re aren’t ghosts.
“If it is the deity’s will… then it is the deity’s bill to take care of you.” (page 336)
That doesn’t make any sense.
Navis rambles about how Speshul and Awesome and Amazing they both are, how they are creatures of the legendary, how the deity has blessed them, how they obviously are people of great faith as well as being totally unique and the greatest thing since sliced fucking bread.
“You are commuters…as I said, Spiritual Frontier Commuters.” (page 337)
Sometimes, I wonder how Tesch can write something like that and not realize how patently ridiculous it sounds.
Apparently, there was recently a convention of magicians and sorcerers, and they closed the gates to at least three Veils. And what that means is that as more Veils close, people might not be able to get from one world to the next.
Eventually, the conversation ends and they get down to business: Krimmy is being taken to the Glacier Palace, and the only way there is across an open plateau, which will be perfect to detect them. Joey sends a group of dragons back home, and takes a small group with him and Maya to rescue Krimmy.
Maya notices Count Navis eyeing Joey’s backpack and figures he’s trying to steal the Key. However, Joey has finally pulled his head out of his ass and Defender is strapped to his leg. So they wander off and circle around and watch as Navis grabs Joey’s backpack and roots through it but can’t find it. Joey comes back, but pretends he didn’t notice it, and launches into a two-page retelling of the story of the last guy who tried to steal Defender and Joey torched him and his compatriots and their eyes and tongues melted.
Apparently Navis isn’t impressed by this story, but he understands it. Which makes sense. But it seems Joey has learned to actually keep his supernatural weapons on him at all times, so I guess the past few chapters weren’t completely pointless. Tesch throws in a ‘And so it was…’ and off they go to try and rescue Krimmy.
Chapter Thirty-Nine – Dust Road to Notali
Krimmy and her captors are riding along and they hear some noises. So they all hide in the woods. It turns out to be a bunch of werewolves. Which, in Teschland, means men with wolf heads.
The group of werewolves stop and open up a wooden box, which has a couple beautiful black boys inside. They haul the boys out and tie them to a tree. Then they start building a big fire, and it’s pretty obvious they’re going to roast the boys and eat them.
I have to question the logic of taking the boys out of a box and then tying them to a tree. What’s the point, to let them air out a little? Doesn’t it make a little more sense to just leave them inside the box until you’re actually ready to cook them?
Anyway. Krimmy decides to rescue them. So she pulls the dagger from her belt – oh yeah, she has a dagger on her belt. Sure, she’s a prisoner being held by the minions of King Apollyon, but they don’t actually tie her up and they let her keep her weapons. Totally makes sense.
Krimmy crawls over to the boys tied to the tree which of course is off in the dark and nobody is even bothering to watch the prisoners, and she cuts them free and they all sneak off. Hooray!
The whole pack of werewolves were dizzy with despair as they looked paralyzed at the empty oak tree (page 346).
Dizzy with despair? They just lost their lunch. It might be annoying but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Also, they’re fucking werewolves. Why don’t they just follow the scent and track them all down?
Suddenly, they hear ravens croaking overhead. For unexplained reasons, this terrifies them, so they all take off.
We cut back to Maya and Joey, who are encountering difficulties in finding Krimmy.
We cut back to Krimmy, who is chilling out with the two boys, Jafar and Jahy. After a bit, they arrive at the city of Notali, which is where the Demon Apostle Krassus lives. Krassus asks them why they came here, and the group explains they didn’t want to cross the Plateau of Death because they’d be easily spotted by the dragons chasing after them. Which…astonishingly, makes a lot of sense. It’s almost like we have halfway competent villains for once.
Larivier and Krimmy chat. Larivier laughs like a hyena. They talk about whether death is sometimes better than life – Krimmy thinks it is, Larivier thinks it isn’t. Eventually, Larivier offers Krimmy a drink, which he spiked with roofies. She drinks it and falls into a delirium.
The false monk Larivier had drugged Krimhilda. He now used his manhood and took advantage of her as darkness fell over Notali, the city of evil (page 349).
Oh dear sweet merciful Jesus, I just read a Gloria Tesch rape scene.
Chapter Forty – The Convention
I am now drinking heavily to get that thought out of my head. I apologize if the rest of this sporking does not make any sense.
The first paragraph of this chapter is comedy gold, though:
Krassus, the Demon Apostle and the Duet of Evil, Gertrude and Larivier, as well as two dozen other sorcerers, magicians and witches from the Black Tower of Notali arrived with Princess Krimhilda at the Glacier Palace for the upcoming event, known as the CCC. The Chaos & Curse Convention of black magic (page 350).
Least intimidating name ever.
Plouton welcomes Krimmy and says she gets to live in the water park. Krimmy goes and sits by the waterfall and angsts for a bit. She sees some captive birds and this saddens her so she decides that she needs to rescue the birds.
Krimmy talks to the two black boys. Apparently, during their extremely long journey where they were traveling ON FOOT FOR MILES AND MILES they never had time to talk, so she wants to know what their story is. Jafar explains that Apollyon’s soldiers kidnapped all the young children in their village and took them to Notali and they were all given IQ tests and Jafar (my god, I just keep thinking of Aladdin) realized they were all going to be used to be in sorcerer schools and be like the rest of the children, who were all pale and walked around like zombies. Because kids from Maradonia know what zombies are.
Anyway, they both answered a lot of questions wrong on their IQ tests so they were sent to the kitchens and then they escaped and then they were caught by werewolves.
“You saved us by cutting us loose from that oak tree and now we are here. Thank you…our situation has improved.” (page 356)
Improved? They’re captives of King Apollyon, the embodiment of all that is evil! Sure, they’re not in the immediate danger of being eaten by werewolves, but compared to what Apollyon might do to them, being a werewolf lunch might seem like a blessing.
Krimmy angsts for a bit. The next day there’s a ceremony and suddenly…the Mehadim of Melissa shows up! He’s the Mehadim, from the city of Melissa. And he’s a fucking awesome sorcerer.
They all do some magic and it’s very impressive and Apollyon wants the Mehadim to work for him but the Mehadim is taking his magic show on tour in Ophir (aren’t they enemies?) first. But maybe later he’ll work for Apollyon. Finally the subject turns to Krimmy and Plouton explains that they can use Krimmy to trade for the Key. And…Apollyon doesn’t really give a fuck. He’s more interested in what’s for dinner.
This doesn’t really make sense. This is THE KEY TO THE UNDERWORLD. It has already been very clearly established how much Apollyon wants this back. Why doesn’t he care anymore?
Drinks: 47
Fireshark on 10 March 2012, 02:14 said:
Taku on 10 March 2012, 02:19 said:
Celtic mythology 101. What fun.
NOT AMUSED.
So, Rich White Heiress demonstrates how virtuous she is, by saving the lives of two Poor Black Boys? How… how. I don’t even know what to say to that.
Clibanarius on 10 March 2012, 09:06 said:
Whut.
Prince O' Tea on 10 March 2012, 10:11 said:
Oh god. Krimmy got raeped. Krimmy got raeped. Krimmy got raeped. KRIMMY GOT RAEPED.
Why Gloria, why?
Also.
Apollyon: “Enough. My ship sails in the morning. I wonder what’s for dinner?”
Joey: Oh boy! I’m so hungry, I could eat a rawken!
Kurt on 10 March 2012, 10:28 said:
I GUESS SHE JUST DID.
Author’s 101: Don’t write rape scenes. It’s extremely offensive, unless you know what you’re writing about. In this case, Krimmy apparently doesn’t even realise that she’s been raped. Even if it is a drug rape, it would still hurt afterwards.
I’M SO PISSED WITH GLORIA TESCH RIGHT NOW THAT I’LL HAVE TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT:
There’s about 70 pages left now, right? And we’ve heard nothing about these savage orc fuckers, or about the city of Magadan. Which means that there’ll be a gigantic twist ending where all these things will appear. Oh no, it won’t be a twist ending after all, because Gloria spoiled it in her summary! Aaargh.
prince O' Tea on 10 March 2012, 10:30 said:
Speaking of the Zelda CDI games, this scene feels like it was ripped straight from Maradonia. Maya must have taken sociopath lessons from Zelda.
<iframe width=“420” height=“315” src=“http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZTt-kfPvRks” frameborder=“0” allowfullscreen></iframe>
swenson on 10 March 2012, 11:33 said:
For the sake of my sanity, I’m not even going to comment on the Krimmy roofies scene. I just can’t even go there. That’s just… stupid and doesn’t fit with the rest (I can’t believe I’m applying logic to this, but if Krimmy was going to get raped, why only now? Why did Hyena suddenly decide to do that?) and…
…let’s talk about Ice Cream Koans again. I’m pleased cough to see Joey whipping one out again here, I’ve been missing them.
Also, are we sure Tesch isn’t just trolling us now? Because Spiritual Frontier Commuters? Really?
BettyCross on 10 March 2012, 11:57 said:
Krimmy gets raped because … Evil Empire is bad! I guess.
VikingBoyBilly on 10 March 2012, 12:56 said:
This isn’t even funny. Gloria, do you remember who your target audience is? Sure, we might be the real audience, but this series has officially abandoned any pretense of being kid-friendly.
Talisman on 10 March 2012, 13:07 said:
microphone crackles
Hello everyone, Talisman here! I’m your mage-on-the-spot, and I’m reporting live from the site of Maradonia’s premier event for the magically-gifted, the Chaos and Curse Convention! It’s here that all the big names in the black arts will gather to hobnob, swap spell components, and commit acts of blasphemy against both the laws of nature and the gods themselves! Are you all as excited as I am?
It looks like we’ve got some big names attending this year, and the biggest, of course, is Krassus the Demon Apostle himself. Krassus is a man of mystery – no one seems quite sure whether he’s an apostle to a demon, or an actual demon himself who is an apostle – but in either case, his arrival has been hotly anticipated even since he was name-dropped in a certain video a few years back. Only time will tell what appalling acts of depravity Krassus has planned for us, but one thing we can count on: Krassus will keep it Klassy.
Also appearing this year will be the famous Duet of Evil, Gertrude and Larivier. Larivier is known also as the Laughing Hyena, so his decision to focus on the musical arts as well as the magical arts should come as no surprise. Gertrude the Dark Faerie, of course, needs no introduction; fans of Apollyon’s Club of Evil are no doubt already familiar with her work.
Ridureyu on 10 March 2012, 15:36 said:
PREDICTION:
Because Krimhilda has been raped, she is no longer a virgin, and thus “not pure enough” to be Joey’s love interest. She will die in order to provide angst.
BlackStar on 10 March 2012, 15:45 said:
It would be better if their names were Jafar and Janear. Also, Krimmy rape…. I wonder what drug Gloria was on this time. sigh
BettyCross on 10 March 2012, 16:30 said:
I love ChaCurCon! I go every year. I hear this year they’re using 3 hotels, just a measure of how big evil fandom has become. My favorite part of the convention is the masquerade. I have big hopes of making the finals with my Orc costume this year.
Ridureyu on 10 March 2012, 16:40 said:
@BlackStar Clearly, she was on “This is Mature and Realistic Drama of fiction!”
I know that’s not a drug, but that’s how she would say it.
VikingBoyBilly on 10 March 2012, 16:55 said:
Gloria’s latest tweet:
That was two weeks ago.
It’s likely that Part 13 of the spork will be the not-so-grand finale. The term “law of blood” was used exactly once, in the opening chapter, and was never brought up again.
Pryotra on 10 March 2012, 16:56 said:
Er…If Krimmy was raped and she was a virgin…she would know pretty quick. Which means, since she doesn’t seem to know…she’s not quite the pure heiress we thought she was. Or Larry did something else. But that sure sounds like a rape scene to me.
(Yeah, those are pretty much the death of most fiction. Right up there with abusive fathers. Because it’s only played for angst, a really heavy topic like that just fails. Particularly in badly writen crap like this.)
Er…Duet of Evil? Do they preform for the Club of Evil on weekends or something?
LoneWolf on 10 March 2012, 18:33 said:
WTF. Sheer WTF. Gloria out-WTFed herself.
Why did Krimmy’s captors allow her to rescue these boys from werewolves, anyway? And if Krimmy sneaked off by herself unnoticed, then why did she went back to her captors? Does Gloria attempt to explain it in the text?
The rape scene. Oh, my. I think Gloria either decided that her books should really be ‘Proper Dark Adult Fantasy’ or she has even more psychological issues then we thought. Seriously, as we read the beginning of the ‘Seven Bridges’, with cutesy unicorns and prophetic frogs, did we even think that it will come to this?
Wow, the Evil Empire is modernistic enough to have IQ tests. Then again, they have flying saucers and are really aliens, so it’s not that surprising.
Kurt on 10 March 2012, 18:54 said:
@swenson: Poe’s Law?
@Ridureyu: It’s mostly shitty male writes who use that trope. Gloria is a shitty female writer. I’ve read a lot of bad fanfiction that used rape as a plot device. If Maradonia follows the usual pattern from these fanfics, one kiss from the hero Joey will be enough to make Krimmy happy again.
@VikingBoyBilly: “Maradonia and your eyes will bleed” is my suggestion for a better title.
The intended title for this book was actually “Maradonia and the Seven Festivals”, according to a 2010 newsletter. These Seven Festival are occasionally mentioned in prophecies in Book 1 and Book 2, so it was clearly a scrapped plot idea.
Lady Cricket on 10 March 2012, 20:32 said:
What the Gtesch drug-rape scene. Seriously.
With that, it’s now official that the only thing she won’t put in these books is logic.
Given Gtesch’s various issues and Joey’s sociopathy, I actually wouldn’t be surprised at this point if once Joey finds out, he blames her for it. I know it would be horrible and not make a lot of sense, but I’M ALMOST EXPECTING THAT TO HAPPEN NOW.
Prince O' Tea on 10 March 2012, 20:54 said:
Maybe it will be like that Forty Nights movie, where the main character gets drugged and raped by his ex giflriend (so she can win a bet). Not only does she get rewarded for raping her ex-boyfriend, the main character actually has to beg his new love interest for forgiveness, because he “cheated on her”.
Fireshark on 10 March 2012, 21:53 said:
Seriously though, I don’t really care if rape is used in a story, but if it is it should not be taken lightly. And I’m guessing that scene will never be mentioned again. Also, I can’t shake the image of teenage Gloria writing that, and marketing it to children. Bleh.
Considering all the random crap that’s happened so far, I bet the next chapter actually features the kitchen sink.
Requiem on 10 March 2012, 22:53 said:
What this story has: rawkens,chosen gary and mary sues that are psychopaths, plot holes, talking animals, aliens, deus ex machina out the ass , mermaids,discontinuity, dragons, unicorns, magic, dimensions, gods, underworld,royalty,dinophants, things named after mythology, bible quotes, RAPE…and poison
what it needs: a coherant plot, characters that are likable, a decent editor, dialogue that humans might actually speak, written in appropriate font, less ego from the author, and a better cover page
what its missing: the kitchen sink
Ridureyu on 10 March 2012, 23:34 said:
You know, I’m beginning to think that Tesch hit puberty proper while writing this book, or at some point while finishing the previous one. I mean, look at the content. About half of it is clumsily finding excuses to make sparkles fly through the air.
LoneWolf on 11 March 2012, 01:33 said:
Indeed, the books clearly matured with their author.
BettyCross on 11 March 2012, 09:02 said:
From her website:
Her second novel, Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir, was published with 14. Gloria is now working on her third novel in hopes of a release at the age of 15.
This is somewhat out of date since we’re reviewing the third (or is it fifth) novel now.
Gloria turns 18 next month.
LoneWolf on 11 March 2012, 11:48 said:
Gloria takes her time with ‘Maradonia and the Battle for the Key’, that’s for sure. I hope it features even more mature fantasy-themes for us to groan at.
Fireshark on 11 March 2012, 13:06 said:
Judging by what’s happened recently, here’s an excerpt:
BettyCross on 11 March 2012, 14:21 said:
LMAO, Fireshark.
swenson on 11 March 2012, 15:00 said:
Lol @ the peace protestors line. That was pretty good. Very in-character, too.
BettyCross on 11 March 2012, 19:40 said:
I just have to ask this. Did the Dragon Crystal Pole restore her virginity too?
Lady Cricket on 11 March 2012, 23:45 said:
I just have to ask this. Did the Dragon Crystal Pole restore her virginity too?
I thought that was the opposite of what Dragon Crystal Poles do?
Fireshark on 12 March 2012, 00:20 said:
It restored her virginity to the degree that any phallic object can. That is to say, it works if you’re a Sue, and the author thinks you deserve it enough.
Is there a work in which a character’s virginity is somehow restored? I’ve seen it on a Mary Sue checklist or something, but never in practice.
Pryotra on 12 March 2012, 08:27 said:
I once saw it in a fanfic. Maybe it was Brewdening Love of some other atrocity. It was…um stupid.
swenson on 12 March 2012, 11:28 said:
You always see it on Mary Sue tests, so either it’s really out there used by somebody, or it’s just so stupid only a horrible writer would use it. Because, let’s be honest, there’s no way to restore virginity short of time travel.
BettyCross on 12 March 2012, 15:40 said:
I was being facetious when I raised the question.
Fireshark on 12 March 2012, 16:48 said:
There’s a type of surgery that repairs the hymen. Proponents of said surgery claim that it restores the person’s virginity, although I think that’s really silly.
BettyCross on 12 March 2012, 17:25 said:
In some parts of the world, an intact hymen on the wedding night is a very big deal. It’s worth the expense of hymen reconstruction for some women, just so the bridegroom doesn’t know.
Pryotra on 12 March 2012, 20:39 said:
Only a work as horrific as this could get us talking about the restoration of the virginity of a woman.
I still say that Krimmy wasn’t a virgin to begin with if she didn’t notice she was raped. There would have been a few things I’m pretty sure she’d have noticed. Well, either that or Glo really doesn’t comprehend what happens. Which is likely.
Requiem on 13 March 2012, 00:24 said:
Could’ve been worse, Krimhilda could’ve been raped by Appollyon who just turned into a god and had joey force to watch it by being held down by demons. But that is Berserk.
prince of tea on 13 March 2012, 06:18 said:
I don’t expect this to be a big deal. Soon Joey will dump Krimmy and her Goldie Cape for some fresh untapped ass soon, and the two of them will end up in the scrapheap of forgotten love interests, along with the mermaid bunny boiler.
LoneWolf on 13 March 2012, 10:35 said:
No, no, no. Krimhilda is clearly a Designated Love Interest. Though that’s the fun with Gloria – her writing is so random that it sometimes breaks established cliches (though it’s no better for that).
Kurt on 13 March 2012, 15:07 said:
Krimhilda is also next in line to inherit the throne of Gorgonia after Queen Brunhilda. So if Brunhilda should die in the war, Joey becomes double King by marrying Goldie Cape. Another step for the Encouragers on their way to world domination.
LoneWolf on 13 March 2012, 15:09 said:
I am starting to worry for Brunhilda’s life.
swenson on 13 March 2012, 15:52 said:
Ooh, forgot about that. Yep, Brunhilda’s definitely going to die. Maybe Joey will “accidentally” burn down her palace?
Jay on 13 March 2012, 17:15 said:
Bad Books Beware, might be a good catchphrase for the homepage.
BettyCross on 13 March 2012, 18:03 said:
King Genarius’ death was obviously on the way in “Ophir” for alert readers before it happened.
BettyCross on 14 March 2012, 18:31 said:
The talking animals, mermaids, and unicorns have faded into the background as Glora takes on more mature themes, though not very intelligently.
LoneWolf on 14 March 2012, 19:41 said:
Well, Gloria is capable of rapidly changing the mood. “Gold of Ophir” contains both a gory, Jack Chick-like, sequence with evil spirits that has the potential to be mildly disturbing with better writing, and a villain like Count Mordock, whose biggest crime is turning the sheep green.
Pryotra on 15 March 2012, 07:10 said:
I miss the talking animals, mermaids and unicorns…
Fireshark on 15 March 2012, 09:21 said:
Wasn’t Maya given a new dog at the end of Gold of Ophir?
Prince o' Tea on 15 March 2012, 09:29 said:
She’s probably poisoned it already. Or simply stopped giving a fuck about it to the point she’s forgotten it ever existed, similar to Hoppy vanishing halfway through the book in Seven Bridges.
BettyCross on 15 March 2012, 10:18 said:
I haven’t seen any talking animals mentioned in Law of Blood except maybe the birds that have been helping Maya and Joey since the start.
Kurt on 15 March 2012, 11:22 said:
Tootsie the golden retriever, based on a dog that Gloria has/knows in real life ( he appears at 0:32 ).
Do fantasy animals like dragons and rawkens count? Though I’m not certain that rawkens are capable of speak, otherwise they might object to names like Tough Robby.
Prince o' Tea on 15 March 2012, 18:32 said:
To be fair, we have found out that Libertine the Naughty Dove has HANDS, which more then makes up for the lack non-sentient wildlife.
Though we haven’t heard a squawk out of Big Bertha, Beebee and Doo Doo for quite some time now.
BettyCross on 15 March 2012, 20:31 said:
Ah, yes, the dynamic trio of Big Bertha, Beebee, and Bird Crap. Oh, well, they live on in the ranks of their children the Rawkens, especially Brawn Brandon and Tough Robby.
Fireshark on 16 March 2012, 01:14 said:
You know, I think what’s funniest about Maradonia is the extreme dissonance between the kiddie stuff and the more adult material. Having a villainous bird named Tough Robby and a rape in the same book is frankly hilarious.
Can you imagine what a movie version of this would be like?
WulfRitter on 16 March 2012, 02:01 said:
Right. Rape. In a children’s book. Yeah, I’ve got to go pick up a copy of each of these brilliant installments so that I can read them as bedtime yarns to the offspring I may one day have.
Because, hey, if you don’t know about slippin’ someone a roofie by the age of 8, your life is in one helluva downward spiral.
swenson on 16 March 2012, 10:05 said:
The land of Maradonia practically runs on Mood Whiplash and Moral Dissonance.
Prince O'Tea on 17 March 2012, 19:33 said:
Well… Harry Potter has two important characters who encourage female students to use date rape drugs on the boys they like. And that’s without going into the theory that Umbridge was gang-raped by centaurs…
Fireshark on 17 March 2012, 22:01 said:
I think as long as nothing is spelled out or explicitly shown, a family-friendly work can get away with an awful lot, as long as the author is clearly aware of any moral dissonance (I think Rowling is, esp. because of the house elves and Voldy’s backstory).
I’m more concerned that Fred and George, having the Marauder’s Map, must have known that Ron was sleeping with some guy named Peter all the time.
Prince O'Tea on 17 March 2012, 22:40 said:
Well they encourage date rape amongst the student population, so them letting a creepy man sleep with their TWO of their brothers isn’t that far down the morality scale for them.
LoneWolf on 18 March 2012, 08:06 said:
Rowling has her share of mood whiplashes and moral dissonances.
Anyway, Leah Dallaire was right when she told us that Maradonia always has an unexpected surprise around the corner!
Prince O'Tea on 18 March 2012, 12:56 said:
That broad really wasn’t lying about that.
And Gloria’s writing has evolved, the way a gross slimy little amoeba evolves into a hagfish or a cockroach.
LoneWolf on 18 March 2012, 18:04 said:
I actually think that Glo’s writing is slightly improving. In her 30-40th instalment of Maradonia-Saga she’ll reach the level of Paolini.
Fireshark on 18 March 2012, 18:19 said:
Pryotra on 18 March 2012, 19:04 said:
Maradonia: Going from stupidly funny crap to stupidly dramatic crap as the books progress.
@LoneWolf: Yeah, that’s a possibility. Or maybe she’ll just reach SMeyer’s level. (I’m not sure who’s worse, but I’m kind of thinking SMeyer just for general lack of plot.) But maybe we’re expecting too much from her.
Licht on 16 May 2012, 21:51 said:
I’m only surprised she didn’t end up writing a gay rape scene.
Prince O'Tea on 29 May 2012, 20:00 said:
I wouldn’t put it pass her. Her remarks about magicians were pretty much Anita Bryant’s homophobic slogans from the 70’s word for word: “homosexuals can’t reproduce, so they must recruit!”
She does seem to have saved most her contempt for wiccans and Hollywood goths though, mostly. I would say “people who are materialistic” as well, but her own behavior and usage of the word suggests she just uses it as a buzzword for everything she doesn’t like and doesn’t really know what it means.