Nibly the Bear – Chapter 2
Greetings! This is Finn doing the intro today, because Fair is having brief writers block. I suppose Gloria Tesch could help with that…or not. But either way, we’re here to spork Chapter 3…I mean, 2 (We keep forgetting that the introduction didn’t count as a chapter).
Fair: Oh yeah, and we’re including illustrations this time, too. Thanks for pointing out the obvious to us, Tim; we should have put the illustrations in from the very beginning.
Finn: Yes, we should have. But I suppose we were too focused on our first spork and using the II textile. We shall begin now; it’s time to forge on ahead!
Fair: Right, enough of that. It’s boring. Time to forge ahead, indeed!
Chapter 2
Coming near the town, I came across a cute little bridge by a nice river and little waterfall. I saw a bench and sat down to rest myself.
Fair: Is Nibly doing his best impression of an old southern geezer? He’s doing a magnificent job of it.
Finn: I’m really, truly wondering if SNel ever lived in the south, or is even aware of accents or proper language in general. I confess I don’t really know what accents people have in Utah, but I’m pretty sure SNel has no idea what kind of accents people have in British Columbia.
Fair: Is it just me, or does Nibly’s nose get bigger in each picture we come across? Also, bear anatomy doesn’t allow them to assume that type of sitting position, making Nibly look more like a creeper in a bear suit than an actual bear.
Finn: His face never changes its creepy expression…I think I’ve seen that place before.
After my long walk into the people town, I felt the cool water spray that came off the flowing waterfall and river. It was really nice! So I took a rest right there for a while.
Fair: Um, yeah. You already told us you were going to “rest there awhile”. See, it’s up there ^^. It’s called re-reading what you just wrote to make sure it makes sense, SNel.
Finn: Repetition, repetition! How else is anyone supposed to remember anything?
Fair: So, Nibly looks around for about two seconds and immediately happens upon a clothes line with a shirt and shorts hanging from it. How convenient.
“Oh how Marvelous!” I exclaimed.
How nice it was I thought, of the humans to hang out some clothes just for me, and just my size too. I took them down off the line and tried them on, they fit me perfectly.
“Sweet!” I said.
Finn: Oh how Frabjous! Authors are so kind as to not make their characters have to do anything! How unexplainable! How…bad the dialogue is. He suddenly sounds like an old English gentleman, and then like some 90s teenager.
Fair: Those people must be rather fat if their clothes fit a bear perfectly.
Finn: Inhumanly obese, in fact. I don’t think Nibly’s day could get any luckier…oh wait.
Fair: Nibly walks along the path for a bit, when suddenly…
… I saw a man running toward me, just past the little park that I had rested in. He had a funny mask on his face. He also had a bag in his hand, and when he saw me he YELPED With Joy! And dropped the little bag right there in front of me, and then he ran off somewhere.
Fair: A bank robber. Nibly runs into your stereotypical representation of a bank robber. Not to mention, most children won’t get what SNel is trying to oh-so-subtly describe
Finn: He could have entered the lottery, and there’s no way he could have lost. Did he take some Felix Felicis or something?
Fair: Well, judging by the picture below, Nibly’s obviously taken something.
Psychedelic, Man!
Finn: And what does Nibly do next? Return it to the police station? Not in SNel’s world…
And oh boy do you know what I found, a nice bag of money. Round ones and paper ones too. What a swell fellow that guy was.
That’s right, kids! If someone drops money, don’t return it to them. Don’t take it to the police station. Just take it, because stealing isn’t wrong if it’s from a bank robber! (Or if you’re a Gary Stu)
Fair: Never mind that the money belonged to other people who needed it before the robber stole it from them. Again, I say unto thee “How convenient.”
Finn: Indeed it is convenient, but not for us.
Fair: I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Master Chief on 17 September 2012, 14:49 said:
Like there was a drinking game for the Maradonia saga, I think there should be a drinking game here.
Or at least a headdesk count.
Fell Blade on 17 September 2012, 15:10 said:
What is with SNel and using the word “swell”? I don’t think I’ve ever come across someone who used that word as much as he does. It’s almost like some of Tesch’s favorite words or word combinations (“Maradonia dynamite”).
Fair on 17 September 2012, 15:23 said:
@Master Chief: The drinking game is a good idea. I wonder, though if perhaps we ought to follow Tim’s earlier suggestion and take a hit every time he capitalises a random word or says “Swell!”.
@Fell Blade: It’s exactly the same thing! We think he does it because he thinks it makes him seem more friendly.
Fireshark on 17 September 2012, 15:31 said:
Nibly’s creepy face rivals Pedobear’s.
Tim on 17 September 2012, 15:33 said:
You say that like they’re not the same foul creature.
VikingBoyBilly on 17 September 2012, 16:12 said:
Why is the fur on his head brown and the fur on his body black?
Tim on 17 September 2012, 16:20 said:
The bridge to nowhere was not a popular destination.
Also, either that line is about a hundred feet long, we’re looking at a hillside at an angle that makes it look straight, or Steve can’t do perspective again.
Kyllorac on 17 September 2012, 16:33 said:
Or everyone in Canada grows bonsai trees. Or lives on the tops of mountains.
Fair on 17 September 2012, 16:45 said:
It’s because of the cold: all our trees are stunted up here.
swenson on 17 September 2012, 16:46 said:
Those trees… those trees! They frighten me!
Anyway, so the drinking game:
Every time SNel capitalizes a random word, take a drink.
Every time SNel uses the word “swell”, take a drink.
Every time a picture is alarming or off-kilter somehow, take a drink. (For example, the money bag picture is pretty normal, so you wouldn’t take a drink, but you would take one for the Bridge to Nowhere and the Perspectiveless Clothesline.)
Anything else to add?
@Fair – lol.
Fair on 17 September 2012, 17:10 said:
@Swenson Okay, next chapter we shall drink ‘til we die!
Tim on 17 September 2012, 17:26 said:
Sadly we haven’t had a chance yet to discover that Steve writes in first person omniscient. Which he does.
Kyllorac on 17 September 2012, 18:19 said:
But not that stunted. I live on a cold and windy mountain in the northern latitudes, so I see stunted trees all the time, but they’re generally not shorter than people, unless it gets really cold and/or really windy (like near the peak). I mention this because Nelson is warmer on average than where I live, not to mention less windy, and the trees where I live are nowhere near as tiny as in that drawing.
And I don’t even know why I’m bothering pointing this out anymore.
I blame you and your argumentative tendencies, Tim. Because I can. ;P
Master Chief on 17 September 2012, 18:40 said:
How about we also take a drink every time the bear does something that sets a bad role model or something like that? Like when he takes the money.
Tim on 17 September 2012, 18:43 said:
It could be that it’s actually some giants hanging their giant-clothes from a handy system of two telegraph poles not connected to anything else, and Nibly is going to turn out to be a 5-ton Toronto gigabear.
Fair on 17 September 2012, 19:02 said:
@Master Chief Yes!
@Tim BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!
OrganicLead on 17 September 2012, 19:37 said:
Or scale.
… I still can’t tell if that crayon or just extremely terrible colored pencil. Leaning toward cheap colored pencil. Probably RoseArt or Crayola.
As far as the moneybag image goes, I think he used a stock background and either Photoshopped or glued the money bag on. So we should add art theft to the drinking game.
Epke on 17 September 2012, 19:52 said:
… Did anyone else hear the Batman logo sound from the TV series when they saw the money bag and the background?
Kyllorac on 17 September 2012, 21:53 said:
Someone needs to write and illustrate that right now.
swenson on 17 September 2012, 21:57 said:
Well, we’ve already got one illustration…
Master Chief on 18 September 2012, 00:08 said:
@epke yes, yes I did. I thought it was the book driving me crazy.
Licht on 18 September 2012, 01:11 said:
I think it’s supposed to be bushes.
My bet is on colored pencil.
btw. does anyone of us have children or little siblings? Because I wonder how an actual child would react to this story.
Tim on 18 September 2012, 02:04 said:
Probably rather like the Nazis reacted to the opening of the Ark of the Covenant.
Pryotra on 18 September 2012, 07:41 said:
I showed the picture to my niece. (She’s three)
She is certain that the bear is a mouse, and it’s a ‘bad mousie’. My one year old nephew was indifferent.
Taku on 18 September 2012, 08:04 said:
Called it. Mickey Mouse on meth.
The falls and rocks themselves are actually quite well done, in comparison. But then that monstrosity is put in front, which kinda ruins it.
Prince O' Tea on 18 September 2012, 10:21 said:
I really think coloured pencil should be banned. Or at least, be only obtained with a permit, to people who can actually use it, or to children under the age of 10.
It’s a medium that is extremely difficult to pull off. 99percent of the pictures done with them look like a toddler drew them. It also makes just about every mistake you do with them glaringly obvious, and makes every amateur drawing look 10 times more amateurish. I’d suggest a decent set of watercolour pencils if you really must use coloured pencils, since they are much easier to use and are a lot more versatile. Really, the only people who can make mediums like coloured pencils and felt tips look good are the kinds of people who know how to use watercolour and oil paints, really. You really have to know what you are doing with them, otherwise they look like an infantile mess.
Fell Blade on 18 September 2012, 12:47 said:
I don’t know about banning it. I love colored pencil art. Although perhaps I should agree that you need to get a permit; if you don’t know what you’re doing it can be hard to make it look good. And I don’t think it really works for book illustrations like watercolor or ink. But you can make colored pencil look really good if you know how. A lot of it is knowing how to shade and smooth the colors. Using Photoshop to finish it up helps a lot too.
See these drawings
They aren’t top of the line (actually most were done several years ago, I’ve gotten much better since then), but they show what you can do if you know how to use the medium better.
Fell Blade on 18 September 2012, 13:06 said:
Hahaha, that mental image is hilarious!!!
OrganicLead on 18 September 2012, 13:13 said:
Prince O’ Tea: Any medium is going to look terrible if you put it in the hands of amateurs who don’t know how to use the medium or try to use crappy supplies.
And I think it can work just as well in illustrations, at least the whimsical ones that don’t require a lot of shadows. The major stigma against the medium comes from the fact the quality of your colored pencils REALLY effects the drawing and they’re seen as a training wheel medium because they’re so easy to use when compared to pretty much anything else.
Here, have some terrible acrylic and oil paints to even out the “colored pencils can be good, oils can be bad” message.
Good colored pencil (with mixed medium): http://www.annkullberg.com/gallery.php
Bad acrylics and oils: http://www.museumofbadart.org/
Kyllorac on 18 September 2012, 13:18 said:
Examples of colored pencils used properly.
The quality of the colored pencil and papers it’s used on is very important. The cheap pencils don’t have as much pigment as the professional-grade, while copy paper (which most people use) doesn’t have the teeth to it needed to really get the depth of color most people want.
Then again, most people are unaware that you build up tone/value slowly with pencils, layering colors rather than just picking out the color you want. And most people don’t touch colored papers.
With that said, skilled enough artists can use the cheap stuff and still produce great art. It’s not the tools that really determine how good/bad an artwork is, but how they are used.
Prince O' Tea on 18 September 2012, 18:44 said:
The thing is, the good coloured pencils you have shown me seem to be the exception, rather then the rule. I think that coloured pencils are a medium that is especially unforgiving to amateurs, and will look a hell of a lot worse then if the the artist in question used a slightly more professional looking medium. It’s just my personal opinion on it though: even though I have seen people do well using pencils, I can’t help but think that the same picture would have looked better if they had used a better medium like watercolour.
I mean there are people who make great artwork using crayons, kid’s poster paint, ball point pens and felt tips, but those people have to really, really really know what they are doing. For me, it’s kind of like playing a toy piano. If you know how to make a toy piano sound great, great. If you’re bad at playing the piano, your mistakes are going to look and sound worse if you’re playing a toy piano.
Kyllorac on 18 September 2012, 20:47 said:
Sturgeon’s Law.
All media have strengths and weaknesses. No one medium is “better” than the others, and it ultimately rests in the skill and experience of the artist whether the result is crap or not.
The medium is never at fault. That's like saying that it's the toy piano's fault for being a toy piano and making the player's mistakes sound worse.
Tim on 19 September 2012, 00:24 said:
But certain media can be more or less suited to a specific idea; you’d have a hard time making, say, a painting where your primary material was concrete.
OrganicLead on 19 September 2012, 02:46 said:
In my personal experience, I prefer watercolor only when it comes in a mixed medium. Though that might be personal bias from my local professional art market where a lot of watercolor work looks like it’s only half finished.
What we all can agree on is the fact that Steve Nelson is a terrible artist and his art would look terrible no matter what he used. I just had to point out the colored pencil since it looks like he just grabbed some pencils from his kid’s school supplies and figured no one would care because it’s a kid’s book and kids are stupid.
Prince O'Tea on 21 September 2012, 19:45 said:
I’m not blaming the toy piano. But let’s face it, what looks and sounds worse: a mistake made on a piano or one made on a toy piano?
Everyone has said that mediums have their strengths and weaknesses. A weakness of coloured pencils as a medium is that they look especially bad in the hands of an amateur. That’s just my opinion.