Oh, that title can’t mean anything good.
So, Simon’s been rescued, and the heroes have had the villain’s whole plan spelled out to them in large neon letters. Surely this means they’ll get right on hunting down and stopping Valentine, right?
Yeah, and winged hippos just flew out of my butt and danced the flamenco. There’s still 40% of this book to go.
Well, at least this chapter stats out well enough – Clary and Jace are back at the Institute, and Hodge is berating Jace for being, well, Jace. You’d think this would be a more common occurrence, given his behavior throughout the novel so far.
Of course, we don’t actually get to see any of this happening – can’t show the Stu actually having to face the repercussions of his actions now, can we? There’s mention of all the various potential punishments for what Jace has done, including being chucked out of the Clave. Punishments which Jace will never have to actually face because again, he’s a fucking Gary Stu.
We do get the last bit of Hodge’s rant, though, when he mentions that he won’t let Jace “shrug off” what’s happened. Jace, of course, responds by being flippant.
“I wasn’t planning to,” Jace said. “I can’t shrug anything off. My shoulder’s dislocated.”
Rapier Twit: 1
Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick!! Dammit you little shit, would you take things seriously for once in your life?! You could have started an all-out war with that little stunt!
Okay, I know it’s early, but I need a counter example. And once again, I go to the Dresden Files.
In the series’ third book, Grave Peril, Harry Dresden’s girlfriend is kidnapped by a group of vampires. Harry being Harry, he goes to rescue her, only to find that she’d been bitten, and was now a half-vampire (just go with it).
Harry’s response? Burn the whole place down, killing quite a few vampires in the process.
This single act of rage and grief then sparked a war between the wizards and vampires that lasted until the twelfth book, Changes. That’s nine books’ worth of conflict from a single action. Alright, the war wasn’t the real focus for most of those books, but it was still going on in the background.
Harry accidentally starting a war, I can get – he was sad, and angry, and the vampires intentionally provoked him.
Jace on the other hand? No excuse. He should have thought about what might happen, but he didn’t. And the fact that, despite his “joke” he is in fact shrugging off all the consequences just goes further to prove what I’ve been saying for a long time now – Jace is a fucking sociopath.
Hodge sends both Jace and Simon to the infirmary, because even though there’s only four other people in the whole building, it still has an infirmary. Yes, I’m still pissed that they’re using so much space for such a small operation.
When Clary goes to visit them after cleaning herself up (nice display of concern there for your “best friend”)
Isabelle is busy tending to them both. Yeah, way to defy gender stereotypes, CC. Girl power!
Still, at least she’s actually being useful. Alec’s to busy being upset that Jace doesn’t like like him to do anything other than be catty to Clary.
She ignores Alec (can’t say I blame her), and tells the wounded that Hodge is on his way. Never mind that it’s apparently been about half an hour since he got done with Clary, and that Jace and Simon should probably have gotten priority. Then again, we are talking about Jace here – let him suffer. Still, Jace complains that Hodge isn’t there. But not because of the pain, oh no. I’ll let him explain.
“I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it’s less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer. But I do get easily bored.”
Rapier Twit: 2
You know, I’d almost like it more if he were upset about being in pain. Because not only does this make Jace once again look like an arrogant prick, he also looks really immature. “Aw, I have to sit in this bed while I heal up? Lame.”
Also, “large and tastefully decorated foyer”? Really, CC?
Weird Word Choice: 1
But we’re not done with the idiotic comedy! Jace makes a crack about Clary promising to dress up as a nurse and give him a sponge bath, but Clary says that it was Simon who promised him a sponge bath. Honestly, the only one in this whole exchange who’s even remotely funny is Simon, and that’s because he does this:
Jace looked involuntarily at Simon, who smiled at him widely. “As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome.”
Which Jace responds to by saying they should have left him as a rat. Even though you had nothing to do with turning him back into a human. Stupid joke, or shitty writing? Either way, I give the whole conversation a couple of these.
Rapier Twit: 4
That’s one for each of Jace and Clary’s parts in this “joke”.
Clary finally turns her attention to Simon. He says he feels “[l]ike someone massaged [him] with a cheese grater,” and then gives a brief description of how they treated his injured foot. How is it that CC make all of Simon’s jokes funny, but almost no one else’s?
Simon says that they need to talk, and Clary says he can come see her once he’s healed up. Because heaven forbid she be inconvenienced by having to visit the wounded guy
He gives her a quick peck on the cheek before she leaves. In the hallway, Clary briefly wonders why Simon kissed her, and figures that he was trying to make Isabelle jealous. And then she thinks that men are confusing.
Okay, ladies? Let me explain something. Men aren’t any more complicated than you. We really aren’t. Any claims to the contrary are entirely false.
And on top of that, having Clary be so utterly baffled by Simon’s behavior makes her look utterly oblivious. Seriously, a blind man could tell that he’s in love with you. I can’t imagine why he’s so infatuated with you, considering how you treat him, but he clearly is.
Her thoughts then transition to Jace, but thankfully Alec comes along to save us from reading about how pretty Jace’s nose is, or something. But it seems CC was still in the mood or something, because we get a bit of narration talking about how much Alec looks like his sister.
Both Hands, Ma’am: 1
Because I have no idea what else to classify that as. And now I’m wondering if CC’s a bit bi-curious.
So, why did Alec follow Clary? To tell her that he thinks she should go back home. Clary points out that the last two times she tried going home she got attacked, which is a pretty good reason, you have to admit. But Alec tries to push his argument, and his reasons finally come out – he blames Clary for Jace running off and almost getting killed.
Yep, Alec’s back in his “jealous bitch” mode. Clary makes the point that going off without any backup was Jace’s idea, but Alec just says that she encouraged him, because Jace supposedly hs some kind of hero-compulsion/death wish, because he he just knows Jace sooo well.
It seems that in this world, being in love with someone makes you utterly blind to their flaws, no matter how glaring.
Jace can’t have a hero/savior compulsion. Because that would require him to actually care about people other than himself. And despite Clary’s claim that he totally would have gone to rescue Simon on his own, I don’t believe it. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Jace would have left Simon to die if Clary hadn’t been so insistent.
If Jace has any desire to do anything “heroic,” it’s only so he’ll get praised for it afterwords.
Clary also tries to make the point that fighting monsters and rescuing people is kinda the Shadowhunters’ job. Oh, Clary, haven’t you learned? The Shadowhunters don’t actually protect people – they protect themselves. Because for all that they and CC try to say that they protect mundanes, they really couldn’t care less about us. Because, much like Jace, they don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves.
Anyway, this gets us to the real reason Alec’s so pissy – Jace didn’t bring him along. He’s mad that he went off with
a girl Clary.
“Normally I’d be with him, covering him, watching his back, keeping him safe. But you – you’re dead weight, a mundane.” He spit the word as if it were an obsenity.
I’m going to need to break this up.
1) Cripes, Alec, could you be any more codependent? God, I get being worried about your friend running off into danger, but (despite my conviction that Jace is a sociopathic man-child) he’s a frikkin’ adult. He can (supposedly) make his own decisions – he doesn’t need you with him every minute of the day.
2) Yes, Clary was dead weight. She has been pretty much from the start. But if anything, that’s just a reason to keep her at the Institute. If she leaves, there’s a possibility that she could get killed, because she has no combat training (despite CC giving her amazing inherit skill at knife-throwing last chapter).
3) We now have confirmation that Shadowhunters actually view normal humans as inferior. His argument isn’t that Jace would be too busy protecting her to keep himself safe – it’s that she’s a mundane. And honestly, I don’t see how this particular use is any different than any other time any of them have used the word. CC, just because you’re Jewish, and Alec is gay, that doesn’t make it okay for either you or them to make ethnic comments.
God, that’s actually kind of impressive – CC managed to remind me why I hate one of her characters with only a single word.
Clary points out that, once again, she’s not a mundane. And Alec points out that, since she wasn’t raised as a Shadowhunter, she might as well be a mundane. But he doesn’t stop there, oh no. (Apologies for another quote so soon)
“You’re mother brought you up in the mundane world, and that’s where you belong. Not here, making Jace act like – like he isn’t one of us. Making him break his oath to the Clave, making him break the Law-”
Yeah, that’s just dripping with Unfortunate Implications.
Clary once again points out that she hasn’t actually made Jace do a damn thing. But again, Alec’s in love, and thus can’t see any of Jace’s flaws, though neither can Clary for that matter. He tops off this whole conversation with this:
“You mundanes are completely selfish, aren’t you? Have you no idea what he’s done for you, what kind of personal risks he’s taken? I’m not just talking about his safety. He could lose everything. He’s already lost his father and mother; do you want to make sure he loses the family he’s got left as well?”
Okay, Alec? Shut the fuck up. Jace is a fucking moron, and is down right eager to jump into dangerous situations head-first, so long as he comes out looking good. He hasn’t taken any “risks,” because despite what CC is trying to imply, we all know that he won’t suffer a single consequence from all this, because he’s a fucking Gary Stu.
Also, stop acting so superior. Again, mundanes managed perfectly well without you fuckwads for thousands of years, so I’m certain that we’d do just fucking fine without you. It’s a good thing that you’re fictional, because that means I can’t hit you, and that you’re gay, because that’s about the only thing keeping me from wishing that you get the shit beaten out of you.
CC just made me want to support committing a hate crime against a gay teenager. I hope she feels proud of herself.
Clary somehow manages to channel my rage, but in a weird, unfocused way: she’s mad at Alec, obviously, but also that her dad’s dead, because why not; Simon, for putting himself in danger (completely forgetting that he saved both Clary and Jace’s asses); Jace for being a “martyr” (yeah, right); Luke for apparently not really caring about her (because she’s just as dense as Bella Swan); and last but not least, her mom for not being a normal, everyday mom.
I notice that Clary isn’t mad at herself. And I’ll admit that some of this is justified – her mom lied to her, and Alec is being a prick. Still, some of it is her fault – Simon wouldn’t have been in danger if Clary hadn’t brought him into this (or, you know, called him when she came out of her coma like a good friend), and Jace only went to rescue Simon to impress her (despite CC’s insistence that he has some hero/savior compulsion). That? People actually being in danger? That’s all on her.
She bitches out Alec, and calls him selfish. I’m not going to add this to the count, because this time it’s entirely justified.
But then she makes the jump that he’s also a coward, and that’s why he’s never killed a demon.
No, really, that’s the leap she makes. See for yourself:
“You should talk about being selfish,” she hissed, so viciously that he took a step back. “You couldn’t care less about anyone in this world except yourself, Alec Lightwood. No wonder you’ve never killed a single demon, because you’re too afraid.”
Okay, how do you make the jump from “you’re a selfish prick” to “you’re a cowardly prick”? I mean, maybe in a “you’re so self-centered that you won’t put yourself in danger” way, but that’s it. Selfish does not automatically equal coward. Also, Clary accusing someone of being selfish is rich. Ms. Pot, have you met Mr. Kettle?
And on a completely unrelated note, I find it amusing that Alec is supposed to be intimidated by Clary. I mean, she’s what, a buck-five soaking wet? She’s a friggin’ twig.
Alec wants to know who told her that, and she tells him Jace told her. Alec goes into denial about the whole thing, because there’s no way that Jace would tell that to anyone. Seriously, Alec is completely blind to the fact that Jace is kind of a dick like that.
And it seems that Clary’s also a bit of a sadist, because she keeps verbally abusing Alec.
She could see how she was hurting him, and it made her glad. Someone else ought to be in pain for a change. “You can rant all you want about honor and honesty and how mundanes don’t have any of either, but if you were honest, you’d admit this tantrum is just because you’re in love with him.”
On the one hand, I support Clary for pointing out all the crap Alec’s been spewing about how Shadowhunters are just so superior to mundanes. But there’s those first two sentences that taint the whole experience. She’s hurting Alec, and she’s enjoying it. That’s kinda twisted. And it feels really weird coming from CC.
Also, “someone else ought to be in pain for a change”? Clary, at what point exactly have you been “in pain”? A few chapters ago, you were okay with you’re mom being kidnapped, as long as you got to hang out with Jace some more. What about Simon? Getting turned into a rat and then thrown off a crashing motorcycle couldn’t have been good for him – hell, he’s the one in the infirmary! And that doesn’t even go into the emotional pain you’ve probably put him through, what with you being completely oblivious to his feelings.
Alec cuts her off by shoving her against the wall and telling her, point-blank, that if she tells Jace anything about his feelings, he’ll kill her.
Well CC, points for including a major character that’s gay, but they’re detracted for turning him into an obsessed, racist, violent psychopath.
Clary gasps, which somehow knocks Alec back into sanity, he lets her go and walks off. Clary stares at him, and suddenly feels bad about what she did. Interesting that she only feels bad after someone threatens her life. And then this thought crosses her mind:
Good job, Clary. Now you’ve really made him hate you.
No Shit Sherlock: 1
That’s an understatement along the lines of “the Atlantic Ocean is a bit damp.”
And then there’s a time skip to Clary in her room.
Random Scene Break: 1
She had some trouble sleeping, so she started drawing. We don’t actually get to see her having trouble sleeping, instead skipping that and jumping to her drawing stuff. Mostly, she draws stuff she saw during her little adventure, including a lengthily described one of Jace on the rooftop, looking “as if the fall challenged him – as if there were no empty space he could not fill with his belief in his belief in his own invincibility.”
You know what another word for that is? Stupidity.
Oh, and then she gives him wings, because we needed to be reminded of that bit of SYMBOLYSM!
Along with destroying that whole “totally not afraid of the fall” because, gee, now he can fly.
Okay, I’m kinda sick of this whole “Jace as an angel” thing. I’m sure this has been mentioned elsewhere, but you know who else was an angel? This guy:
And on top of that, not all angels were pretty. Observe:
The wheel thing and the walking menagerie? Those are an “ophanim”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophanim and a “cherub,”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherub#In_the_Bible respectively. That’s right – some angels were traditionally depicted as “eldritch abominations.”:http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EldritchAbomination
Also, given how much trouble Clary was having just drawing a poofy sleeve back in chapter two, I find her sudden artistic abilities a bit suspect.
Plot Hole: 1
Back to the book. Clary tries to draw her mom, and is a bit disturbed to find that she now remembers her mom’s scars. We’re told that Clary’s “hurt” by realizing that her perception of the world had been fiddled with, but the narration is so bland. And personally, I’d be pretty freaked out by something like that.
Someone knocks at the door, making Clary pull her head out of her ass. Guess who it is!
Yep, it’s Simon. The guy who was put in the infirmary a few hours ago is now coming to visit his not-girlfriend. Rather than, say, the other way around, what with her being the one who’s in good health. And just to give you the complete picture, here’s the way he describes how he feels:
“I still feel like I’ve been worked over with a tire iron, but nothing’s broken – not anymore.”
Why is it that Simon’s coming to Clary? Oh, right, because it would be mildly inconvenient for her to go to him.
The fact that he added that last bit just makes it worse, because that implies that something (presumably at least one or more of his bones) was broken. He should really not be up and about. Oh, wait, this is basically Harry Potter in New York, so maybe Hodge used some of those magic runes to fix Simon up – you know, the runes that can turn normal people into rampaging monsters.
Moving on, Simon starts to thank Clary for coming after him, but she says that he would have done the same for her. Now, I have absolutely no doubt that, were Clary in danger, Simon would go charging off to save her without a second thought. But Clary? Not so much. Honestly, the only reason she seemed even remotely concerned about him was because Isabelle had been showing an interest in him, and we can’t have that.
And then Simon says that, of the two of them, she’s always been the more “independent” of the two. Here, I’ll let him elaborate:
“You’ve never seemed to really need anyone, Clary. You’ve always been so… contained. All you’ve ever needed is your pencils and your imaginary worlds. So many times I’ve had to say things six, seven times before you’d even respond, you were so far away. And then you’d turn to me and smile that funny smile, and I’d know you’d forgotten all about me and just remembered – but I was never mad at you. Half of your attention is better than all of anyone else’s.”
Well, doesn’t that just say a lot. This kind of behavior in a real person would be infuriating, but CC’s trying to make them seem endearing. Having to repeat something that many times? Yeah, she’s not just “not paying attention,” she’s blatantly ignoring Simon. Oh, but because he’s so completely and utterly infatuated with Clary, he isn’t bothered by that kind of thing.
It’s almost as if CC doesn’t think friendships should require mutual effort or something.
Clary says that there are only three people she’s ever loved: her mom, Luke, and Simon. And I have to call bullshit on that – if she really “loved” her mom, she’d be a bit more concerned about rescuing her. If she actually “loved” Simon, then she would have called him when she woke up in chapter five. As for Luke, well we’ve barely seen them interact, so yeah.
Simon spouts off some crap from his mom about “only [needing] three people you can rely on to achieve self-actualization,” and that, according to his mom, Clary is “pretty self-actualized.”
Unlike Simon’s last contribution to the “let’s praise Clary” session, that’s just hilarious. Let’s assume CC isn’t using “self-actualization” as some generic psycho-babble; being “self-actualized” is “defined as”:http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/selfactualization
“the achievement of one’s full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world.”
Now, does any of that sound like Clary? Yeah, she’s “artistic,” but only sporadically so far. She rarely take the initiative on anything, and even when she does she drags someone else into it. The same applies to spontaneity – so far, she’s almost never done anything of her own volition. And the last? Well, she believes that Jace is a charming, heroic, and totally not a sociopath – if that doesn’t imply that she’s at least a little delusional, I don’ know what does.
Clary asks if Simon’s mom ever said anything else about her, but Simon says he won’t tell her. Clary acts like a six-year-old (yeah, she’s totally self-actualized) and says that that isn’t fair, and Simon comes back with the most honest statement in this entire scene:
“Who ever said the world was fair?”
Well, this book certainly isn’t fair – if it was, Simon would be the hero, Jace would get called on all of his shit, and Clary wouldn’t even be here.
And neither is the real world, for that matter. Case in point: CC’s has, is, or will write five sequels to this book, as well as a prequel and a sequel trilogy.
Seriously, there is no justice.
And then we get another time skip, because CC got bored with that scene or something.
Random Scene Break: 2
Clary and Simon lay on her bed, talking about stuff. And suddenly, I have to wonder if Simon is freakishly tall, or if Clary is a dwarf:
In the end, they lay against each other as they had when they were children: shoulder to shoulder, Clary’s leg thrown over Simon’s. Her toes came to just below his knee.
Seriously, how do you explain that? Is her knee resting on his crotch? What?
We also get a wonderful bit comparing how Simon and Jace smell.
Where Jace had smelled like soap and limes, Simon smelled like someone who’d been rolling around the parking lot of a supermarket, but Clary didn’t mind.
Then why mention it in the first place?
Both Hands, Ma’am: 2
Because no one naturally smells like soap and limes.
And on top of that,
No Shit Sherlock: 2
Gee, Simon smells like he’s been rolling around in a parking lot? I wonder why.
Seriously, compare the two and consider them. When might Clary have actually taken note of Jace’s smell? At a guess, I’d say before they left, especially because that description sounds like a “fresh from the shower” smell. Simon, meanwhile, smells like someone who should take a shower. He’s so dedicated to Clary that he skipped cleaning himself up first.
Simon starts talking about how he was joking with Isabelle shortly before his unfortunate polymorphing. He was joking about Jewish vampires. Clary thinks it’s funny, but apparently Isabelle didn’t. Logically, might be because she doesn’t know that common Jewish stereotype, but I’d be willing to bet it was intended to show that Isabelle’s a stuck-up bitch.
And while the jokes are chuckle-worthy, I feel kinda weird about laughing at them. The fact that both the author and the character are Jewish makes it especially awkward.
Moving on, Simon asks if Isabelle and Jace are sleeping together. And you have to see Clary’s response:
“Ew, no. They’re practically related. They wouldn’t do that.” She paused. “I don’t think so, anyway.”
Okay, no spoilers, but that’s either awkward foreshadowing or CC completely missed that line. Either way, it’s hilarious in hindsight.
Thanks, CC, I needed that.
Anyway, Simon’s all stoic and whatnot, claiming he doesn’t care whether Isabelle and Jace are sleeping together, but Clary doubts that. Congratulations, Clary, you’ve managed to comprehend the mind of a teenage boy. Soon you’ll be ready for long division.
But Simon’s is actually no longer attracted to Isabelle:
“You know, initially I thought Isabelle seemed, I don’t know – cool. Exciting. Different. Then, at the party, I realized she was actually crazy.”
Care to elaborate on that, oh bespectacled one? Because of the three teen Shadowhunters, Isabelle’s the nicest, most humane, and most importantly, sane one. Plus, she’s hot actually seemed to be into you.
Oh, wait, I get it now: Isabelle’s the only potential rival for Clary, so she must be vilified by everyone. Carry on.
But rather than ask what brought about this sudden realization, Clary asks if Isabelle made Simon drink the Draught of Baleful Polymorph. Because Clary is absolutely convinced that the whole incident was Isabelle’s fault. She doesn’t need proof – she’s the sue!
Unfortunately for Clary, it turns out that Simon drank it of his own volition. Seems he thought Clary was coping so well with this whole secret world of hers, and he was feeling left out, and he drank a random liquid to fit in better. So, if anything, him drinking the potion is Clary’s fault, if anyone’s.
Ah, sweet, sweet vindication.
Of course, Clary doesn’t see it this way – she’s the sue, so nothing is ever her fault. Instead, she asks if his experience was bad. Simon says that being turned into a rat was more weird than anything else, because why would an experience like that be traumatizing? That’s just silly!
But what Clary really wants to know about is his experience with the vampires. Simon very obviously lies and says he doesn’t remember any of that, but Clary doesn’t pick that up.
He randomly yawns, and only now does Clary/the narrator realize that it’s actually getting on in the evening. Clary goes to look out the window at the skyline, and when she turns back, Simon has passed out. He has served his purpose, and thus his participation in this scene is at an end.
Clary is actually considerate for a brief moment, and takes Simon’s glasses off so he doesn’t accidentally crush them in his sleep, but Clary immediately loses any points she just gained by wondering where she’s going to sleep. Because finding an empty room in this place with dozens upon dozens of spare bedrooms is just such a hassle. Especially with her only having a whole backpack’s worth of stuff to pack up.
But we’re spared Clary’s whining about how horrible her life is now by Jace knocking at her door. I’m not sure whether his sudden appearance is an improvement or not.
It seems that, unlike Simon, Jace actually took the time to get cleaned up before coming to visit, as he’s changed his clothes and his hair is described as “a halo of damp gold.”
Both Hands, Ma’am: 3
Okay, the angel imagery associated with Jace is getting really damn annoying. As another counter-example, I’m going to quote something from the 1995 film The Prophecy. In it, Christopher Walken plays the angel Gabriel. Here’s one of his wonderful lines:
“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.”
Yeah, Gabriel isn’t very nice in that movie. On a completely unrelated note, Viggo Mortensen plays Lucifer in that movie, and he steals almost every scene he’s in.
Jace asks if he woke Clary, not because he’s sorry, but because she’s still in her pajamas. How very swoon-worthy. She in turn asks if he’s tired, but he says that “much like the postal service, demon hunters never sleep.” That actually sounds like it would be a problem, as a tired warrior would be more likely to make a mistake and get himself killed. And then he starts quoting what’s commonly thought of as the US Postal Service motto (“it’s actually just inscribed on the James Farley Post Office in New York City”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Postal_Service_creed) which once again makes me wonder just how much he actually knows about the mundane world. Also, it’s a bit of a fail on his or CC’s part. Here’s the quote in its entirety:
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
Note that there is no mention of them not sleeping, but there is mention of “the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” Meanwhile, Jace and the others sure are taking their time with finding Clary’s mom. I’m just saying it’s an interesting point.
Clary makes a lame joke about the “gloom of night” bit,
Rapier Twit: 5
but Jace thinks it’s funny, or at least pretends to. And then this happens:
He grinned. Unlike his hair, his teeth weren’t perfect. An upper incisor was slightly, endearingly chipped.
Both Hands, Ma’am: 5
Double because of the mention of both his teeth and his hair. Even when something about Jace isn’t perfect, it’s perfect.
Clary asks what we’re all wondering, namely why he’s here. Personally, I’m asking that in a more general sense – why is he in this book – whereas Clary means in front of her door. Jace responds like the pompous douche that he is:
“‘Here’ as in your bedroom or ‘here’ as in the great spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you’re asking whether it’s all just a cosmic coincidence or there’s a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that’s a puzzler for the ages. I mean, simple ontological reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument-”
I just… why? That’s the only response I can come up with. Well, that and this:
Weird Word Choice: 6
I don’t know how many of those terms CC actually pulled out of her college philosophy books or wherever, but five seemed like a good number. Seriously, read that out loud. If that single paragraph doesn’t make you want to punch Jace, I don’t know what will.
This really makes me wonder if CC has ever actually spoken to another human being in a casual setting, because no real person outside a philosophy class has ever spoken like that. Ever.
Oh, and I guess it deserves one of these too:
Rapier Twit: 3
Clary starts to do the smart thing by reaching to close the door, but Jace stops her. He tries to give some lame excuse about it being her birthday tomorrow and wanting to start celebrating early. But Clary, who not twelve hours ago was completely befuddled by the teenage male mind, now almost psychically knows that Jace is avoiding Alec and Isabelle. And Hodge, too. Seems they all want to talk to him, with the implication being that they want to discuss his actions of the previous night. But that would mean Jace has to actually take responsibility for his behavior and deal with the consequences, so screw that.
Oh, and he’s certain that Clary doesn’t want to talk to him, hence why he’s at her door. In what dimension does that make any sense whatsoever?
Clary says that she just wants something to eat, and what do you know, Jace has a nice picnic all ready to go. Clary says it’s a bit late to go to Central Park, and it would be dangerous. Jace assumes she means because of the faeries, but Clary means because of muggers. And then makes a joke about how mugging Jace would be dangerous.
Rapier Twit: 4
Yes, Jace would be terrifying, what with him being armed with a knife and going against the guy holding a gun. Apparently CC’s never seen The Untouchables.
But no, instead Jace offers to take her to the greenhouse. Because they have a greenhouse. For some reason.
And that brings our chapter to a sweet merciful end.
So, it appears that we’re back in the swing of things. By which I mean lots and lots of filler.
In order to really delve into what’s wrong here, I need to briefly explain something. It’s something I heard about on the Writing Excuses podcast – the “Scene-Sequel” format. It goes something like this – in one chapter, an action or event will happen (the “scene”); in the next chapter, the characters will respond to it (the “sequel”).
Now, this chapter starts out looking like it’s going to follow this pattern; the last two chapters were tense and had a lot of action (at least for this book), so now this chapter should have the characters reacting to what happened. Except that it very quickly falls apart: Jace starts out not really caring about any consequences, and by the end is actively avoiding them; Alec shows that he’s mad, but then promptly disappears; Simon starts out being treated for his injuries, but then miraculously recovers off-screen, and then proceeds to talk about how wonderful and awesome Clary is; Isabelle barely makes an appearance, and the same goes for Hodge.
Chapters like this support my impression that CC never quite got past writing fanfiction; things are certainly happening, but none of them really do anything to move the plot forward. And no, I don’t count developing the Clary-Jace-Simon love triangle as “plot.” Besides, we all know that in spite of all common sense, Clary’s eventually going to end up with Jace, because she barely seems to acknowledge Simon’s existence when A) she needs him for something, or B) another girl shows an interest in him.
This book is in severe need of editing. Preferably with a machete.
Also, apart from Clary’s drawing of Jace, what does the term “Falling Angels” have to do with anything in this chapter?
Next time, Clary and Jace go on a date. On the up side, Simon occasionally channels the reader.
Weird Word Choice: 6 (Total 72)
Rapier Twit: 4 (Total 46)
No Shit Sherlock: 2 (Total 35)
Plot Hole: 1 (Total 59)
Random Scene Break: 2 (Total 10)
Both Hands, Ma’am: 5 (Total 23)
Bitch: 4 (Total 20)