Oh, that title can’t mean anything good.
So, Simon’s been rescued, and the heroes have had the villain’s whole plan spelled out to them in large neon letters. Surely this means they’ll get right on hunting down and stopping Valentine, right?
Yeah, and winged hippos just flew out of my butt and danced the flamenco. There’s still 40% of this book to go.
Well, at least this chapter stats out well enough – Clary and Jace are back at the Institute, and Hodge is berating Jace for being, well, Jace. You’d think this would be a more common occurrence, given his behavior throughout the novel so far.
Of course, we don’t actually get to see any of this happening – can’t show the Stu actually having to face the repercussions of his actions now, can we? There’s mention of all the various potential punishments for what Jace has done, including being chucked out of the Clave. Punishments which Jace will never have to actually face because again, he’s a fucking Gary Stu.
We do get the last bit of Hodge’s rant, though, when he mentions that he won’t let Jace “shrug off” what’s happened. Jace, of course, responds by being flippant.
“I wasn’t planning to,” Jace said. “I can’t shrug anything off. My shoulder’s dislocated.”
Rapier Twit: 1
Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick!! Dammit you little shit, would you take things seriously for once in your life?! You could have started an all-out war with that little stunt!
Okay, I know it’s early, but I need a counter example. And once again, I go to the Dresden Files.
In the series’ third book, Grave Peril, Harry Dresden’s girlfriend is kidnapped by a group of vampires. Harry being Harry, he goes to rescue her, only to find that she’d been bitten, and was now a half-vampire (just go with it).
Harry’s response? Burn the whole place down, killing quite a few vampires in the process.
This single act of rage and grief then sparked a war between the wizards and vampires that lasted until the twelfth book, Changes. That’s nine books’ worth of conflict from a single action. Alright, the war wasn’t the real focus for most of those books, but it was still going on in the background.
Harry accidentally starting a war, I can get – he was sad, and angry, and the vampires intentionally provoked him.
Jace on the other hand? No excuse. He should have thought about what might happen, but he didn’t. And the fact that, despite his “joke” he is in fact shrugging off all the consequences just goes further to prove what I’ve been saying for a long time now – Jace is a fucking sociopath.
Hodge sends both Jace and Simon to the infirmary, because even though there’s only four other people in the whole building, it still has an infirmary. Yes, I’m still pissed that they’re using so much space for such a small operation.
When Clary goes to visit them after cleaning herself up (nice display of concern there for your “best friend”)
Bitch: 1
Isabelle is busy tending to them both. Yeah, way to defy gender stereotypes, CC. Girl power!
Still, at least she’s actually being useful. Alec’s to busy being upset that Jace doesn’t like like him to do anything other than be catty to Clary.
She ignores Alec (can’t say I blame her), and tells the wounded that Hodge is on his way. Never mind that it’s apparently been about half an hour since he got done with Clary, and that Jace and Simon should probably have gotten priority. Then again, we are talking about Jace here – let him suffer. Still, Jace complains that Hodge isn’t there. But not because of the pain, oh no. I’ll let him explain.
“I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it’s less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer. But I do get easily bored.”
Rapier Twit: 2
You know, I’d almost like it more if he were upset about being in pain. Because not only does this make Jace once again look like an arrogant prick, he also looks really immature. “Aw, I have to sit in this bed while I heal up? Lame.”
Also, “large and tastefully decorated foyer”? Really, CC?
Weird Word Choice: 1
But we’re not done with the idiotic comedy! Jace makes a crack about Clary promising to dress up as a nurse and give him a sponge bath, but Clary says that it was Simon who promised him a sponge bath. Honestly, the only one in this whole exchange who’s even remotely funny is Simon, and that’s because he does this:
Jace looked involuntarily at Simon, who smiled at him widely. “As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome.”
Which Jace responds to by saying they should have left him as a rat. Even though you had nothing to do with turning him back into a human. Stupid joke, or shitty writing? Either way, I give the whole conversation a couple of these.
Rapier Twit: 4
That’s one for each of Jace and Clary’s parts in this “joke”.
Clary finally turns her attention to Simon. He says he feels “[l]ike someone massaged [him] with a cheese grater,” and then gives a brief description of how they treated his injured foot. How is it that CC make all of Simon’s jokes funny, but almost no one else’s?
Simon says that they need to talk, and Clary says he can come see her once he’s healed up. Because heaven forbid she be inconvenienced by having to visit the wounded guy
Bitch: 2
He gives her a quick peck on the cheek before she leaves. In the hallway, Clary briefly wonders why Simon kissed her, and figures that he was trying to make Isabelle jealous. And then she thinks that men are confusing.
Okay, ladies? Let me explain something. Men aren’t any more complicated than you. We really aren’t. Any claims to the contrary are entirely false.
And on top of that, having Clary be so utterly baffled by Simon’s behavior makes her look utterly oblivious. Seriously, a blind man could tell that he’s in love with you. I can’t imagine why he’s so infatuated with you, considering how you treat him, but he clearly is.
Her thoughts then transition to Jace, but thankfully Alec comes along to save us from reading about how pretty Jace’s nose is, or something. But it seems CC was still in the mood or something, because we get a bit of narration talking about how much Alec looks like his sister.
Both Hands, Ma’am: 1
Because I have no idea what else to classify that as. And now I’m wondering if CC’s a bit bi-curious.
So, why did Alec follow Clary? To tell her that he thinks she should go back home. Clary points out that the last two times she tried going home she got attacked, which is a pretty good reason, you have to admit. But Alec tries to push his argument, and his reasons finally come out – he blames Clary for Jace running off and almost getting killed.
Yep, Alec’s back in his “jealous bitch” mode. Clary makes the point that going off without any backup was Jace’s idea, but Alec just says that she encouraged him, because Jace supposedly hs some kind of hero-compulsion/death wish, because he he just knows Jace sooo well.
It seems that in this world, being in love with someone makes you utterly blind to their flaws, no matter how glaring.
Jace can’t have a hero/savior compulsion. Because that would require him to actually care about people other than himself. And despite Clary’s claim that he totally would have gone to rescue Simon on his own, I don’t believe it. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that Jace would have left Simon to die if Clary hadn’t been so insistent.
If Jace has any desire to do anything “heroic,” it’s only so he’ll get praised for it afterwords.
Clary also tries to make the point that fighting monsters and rescuing people is kinda the Shadowhunters’ job. Oh, Clary, haven’t you learned? The Shadowhunters don’t actually protect people – they protect themselves. Because for all that they and CC try to say that they protect mundanes, they really couldn’t care less about us. Because, much like Jace, they don’t give a damn about anyone but themselves.
Anyway, this gets us to the real reason Alec’s so pissy – Jace didn’t bring him along. He’s mad that he went off with a girl Clary.
“Normally I’d be with him, covering him, watching his back, keeping him safe. But you – you’re dead weight, a mundane.” He spit the word as if it were an obsenity.
I’m going to need to break this up.
1) Cripes, Alec, could you be any more codependent? God, I get being worried about your friend running off into danger, but (despite my conviction that Jace is a sociopathic man-child) he’s a frikkin’ adult. He can (supposedly) make his own decisions – he doesn’t need you with him every minute of the day.
2) Yes, Clary was dead weight. She has been pretty much from the start. But if anything, that’s just a reason to keep her at the Institute. If she leaves, there’s a possibility that she could get killed, because she has no combat training (despite CC giving her amazing inherit skill at knife-throwing last chapter).
3) We now have confirmation that Shadowhunters actually view normal humans as inferior. His argument isn’t that Jace would be too busy protecting her to keep himself safe – it’s that she’s a mundane. And honestly, I don’t see how this particular use is any different than any other time any of them have used the word. CC, just because you’re Jewish, and Alec is gay, that doesn’t make it okay for either you or them to make ethnic comments.
God, that’s actually kind of impressive – CC managed to remind me why I hate one of her characters with only a single word.
Clary points out that, once again, she’s not a mundane. And Alec points out that, since she wasn’t raised as a Shadowhunter, she might as well be a mundane. But he doesn’t stop there, oh no. (Apologies for another quote so soon)
“You’re mother brought you up in the mundane world, and that’s where you belong. Not here, making Jace act like – like he isn’t one of us. Making him break his oath to the Clave, making him break the Law-”
Yeah, that’s just dripping with Unfortunate Implications.
Clary once again points out that she hasn’t actually made Jace do a damn thing. But again, Alec’s in love, and thus can’t see any of Jace’s flaws, though neither can Clary for that matter. He tops off this whole conversation with this:
“You mundanes are completely selfish, aren’t you? Have you no idea what he’s done for you, what kind of personal risks he’s taken? I’m not just talking about his safety. He could lose everything. He’s already lost his father and mother; do you want to make sure he loses the family he’s got left as well?”
…
Okay, Alec? Shut the fuck up. Jace is a fucking moron, and is down right eager to jump into dangerous situations head-first, so long as he comes out looking good. He hasn’t taken any “risks,” because despite what CC is trying to imply, we all know that he won’t suffer a single consequence from all this, because he’s a fucking Gary Stu.
Also, stop acting so superior. Again, mundanes managed perfectly well without you fuckwads for thousands of years, so I’m certain that we’d do just fucking fine without you. It’s a good thing that you’re fictional, because that means I can’t hit you, and that you’re gay, because that’s about the only thing keeping me from wishing that you get the shit beaten out of you.
CC just made me want to support committing a hate crime against a gay teenager. I hope she feels proud of herself.
Clary somehow manages to channel my rage, but in a weird, unfocused way: she’s mad at Alec, obviously, but also that her dad’s dead, because why not; Simon, for putting himself in danger (completely forgetting that he saved both Clary and Jace’s asses); Jace for being a “martyr” (yeah, right); Luke for apparently not really caring about her (because she’s just as dense as Bella Swan); and last but not least, her mom for not being a normal, everyday mom.
I notice that Clary isn’t mad at herself. And I’ll admit that some of this is justified – her mom lied to her, and Alec is being a prick. Still, some of it is her fault – Simon wouldn’t have been in danger if Clary hadn’t brought him into this (or, you know, called him when she came out of her coma like a good friend), and Jace only went to rescue Simon to impress her (despite CC’s insistence that he has some hero/savior compulsion). That? People actually being in danger? That’s all on her.
She bitches out Alec, and calls him selfish. I’m not going to add this to the count, because this time it’s entirely justified.
But then she makes the jump that he’s also a coward, and that’s why he’s never killed a demon.
No, really, that’s the leap she makes. See for yourself:
“You should talk about being selfish,” she hissed, so viciously that he took a step back. “You couldn’t care less about anyone in this world except yourself, Alec Lightwood. No wonder you’ve never killed a single demon, because you’re too afraid.”
Okay, how do you make the jump from “you’re a selfish prick” to “you’re a cowardly prick”? I mean, maybe in a “you’re so self-centered that you won’t put yourself in danger” way, but that’s it. Selfish does not automatically equal coward. Also, Clary accusing someone of being selfish is rich. Ms. Pot, have you met Mr. Kettle?
And on a completely unrelated note, I find it amusing that Alec is supposed to be intimidated by Clary. I mean, she’s what, a buck-five soaking wet? She’s a friggin’ twig.
Alec wants to know who told her that, and she tells him Jace told her. Alec goes into denial about the whole thing, because there’s no way that Jace would tell that to anyone. Seriously, Alec is completely blind to the fact that Jace is kind of a dick like that.
And it seems that Clary’s also a bit of a sadist, because she keeps verbally abusing Alec.
She could see how she was hurting him, and it made her glad. Someone else ought to be in pain for a change. “You can rant all you want about honor and honesty and how mundanes don’t have any of either, but if you were honest, you’d admit this tantrum is just because you’re in love with him.”
On the one hand, I support Clary for pointing out all the crap Alec’s been spewing about how Shadowhunters are just so superior to mundanes. But there’s those first two sentences that taint the whole experience. She’s hurting Alec, and she’s enjoying it. That’s kinda twisted. And it feels really weird coming from CC.
Also, “someone else ought to be in pain for a change”? Clary, at what point exactly have you been “in pain”? A few chapters ago, you were okay with you’re mom being kidnapped, as long as you got to hang out with Jace some more. What about Simon? Getting turned into a rat and then thrown off a crashing motorcycle couldn’t have been good for him – hell, he’s the one in the infirmary! And that doesn’t even go into the emotional pain you’ve probably put him through, what with you being completely oblivious to his feelings.
Alec cuts her off by shoving her against the wall and telling her, point-blank, that if she tells Jace anything about his feelings, he’ll kill her.
Well CC, points for including a major character that’s gay, but they’re detracted for turning him into an obsessed, racist, violent psychopath.
Clary gasps, which somehow knocks Alec back into sanity, he lets her go and walks off. Clary stares at him, and suddenly feels bad about what she did. Interesting that she only feels bad after someone threatens her life. And then this thought crosses her mind:
Good job, Clary. Now you’ve really made him hate you.
No Shit Sherlock: 1
That’s an understatement along the lines of “the Atlantic Ocean is a bit damp.”
And then there’s a time skip to Clary in her room.
Random Scene Break: 1
She had some trouble sleeping, so she started drawing. We don’t actually get to see her having trouble sleeping, instead skipping that and jumping to her drawing stuff. Mostly, she draws stuff she saw during her little adventure, including a lengthily described one of Jace on the rooftop, looking “as if the fall challenged him – as if there were no empty space he could not fill with his belief in his belief in his own invincibility.”
You know what another word for that is? Stupidity.
Oh, and then she gives him wings, because we needed to be reminded of that bit of SYMBOLYSM!
Along with destroying that whole “totally not afraid of the fall” because, gee, now he can fly.
Okay, I’m kinda sick of this whole “Jace as an angel” thing. I’m sure this has been mentioned elsewhere, but you know who else was an angel? This guy:
And on top of that, not all angels were pretty. Observe:
The wheel thing and the walking menagerie? Those are an “ophanim”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophanim and a “cherub,”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cherub#In_the_Bible respectively. That’s right – some angels were traditionally depicted as “eldritch abominations.”:http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EldritchAbomination
Also, given how much trouble Clary was having just drawing a poofy sleeve back in chapter two, I find her sudden artistic abilities a bit suspect.
Plot Hole: 1
Back to the book. Clary tries to draw her mom, and is a bit disturbed to find that she now remembers her mom’s scars. We’re told that Clary’s “hurt” by realizing that her perception of the world had been fiddled with, but the narration is so bland. And personally, I’d be pretty freaked out by something like that.
Someone knocks at the door, making Clary pull her head out of her ass. Guess who it is!
Yep, it’s Simon. The guy who was put in the infirmary a few hours ago is now coming to visit his not-girlfriend. Rather than, say, the other way around, what with her being the one who’s in good health. And just to give you the complete picture, here’s the way he describes how he feels:
“I still feel like I’ve been worked over with a tire iron, but nothing’s broken – not anymore.”
Why is it that Simon’s coming to Clary? Oh, right, because it would be mildly inconvenient for her to go to him.
Bitch: 3
The fact that he added that last bit just makes it worse, because that implies that something (presumably at least one or more of his bones) was broken. He should really not be up and about. Oh, wait, this is basically Harry Potter in New York, so maybe Hodge used some of those magic runes to fix Simon up – you know, the runes that can turn normal people into rampaging monsters.
Moving on, Simon starts to thank Clary for coming after him, but she says that he would have done the same for her. Now, I have absolutely no doubt that, were Clary in danger, Simon would go charging off to save her without a second thought. But Clary? Not so much. Honestly, the only reason she seemed even remotely concerned about him was because Isabelle had been showing an interest in him, and we can’t have that.
And then Simon says that, of the two of them, she’s always been the more “independent” of the two. Here, I’ll let him elaborate:
“You’ve never seemed to really need anyone, Clary. You’ve always been so… contained. All you’ve ever needed is your pencils and your imaginary worlds. So many times I’ve had to say things six, seven times before you’d even respond, you were so far away. And then you’d turn to me and smile that funny smile, and I’d know you’d forgotten all about me and just remembered – but I was never mad at you. Half of your attention is better than all of anyone else’s.”
Well, doesn’t that just say a lot. This kind of behavior in a real person would be infuriating, but CC’s trying to make them seem endearing. Having to repeat something that many times? Yeah, she’s not just “not paying attention,” she’s blatantly ignoring Simon. Oh, but because he’s so completely and utterly infatuated with Clary, he isn’t bothered by that kind of thing.
It’s almost as if CC doesn’t think friendships should require mutual effort or something.
Clary says that there are only three people she’s ever loved: her mom, Luke, and Simon. And I have to call bullshit on that – if she really “loved” her mom, she’d be a bit more concerned about rescuing her. If she actually “loved” Simon, then she would have called him when she woke up in chapter five. As for Luke, well we’ve barely seen them interact, so yeah.
Simon spouts off some crap from his mom about “only [needing] three people you can rely on to achieve self-actualization,” and that, according to his mom, Clary is “pretty self-actualized.”
Unlike Simon’s last contribution to the “let’s praise Clary” session, that’s just hilarious. Let’s assume CC isn’t using “self-actualization” as some generic psycho-babble; being “self-actualized” is “defined as”:http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/selfactualization
“the achievement of one’s full potential through creativity, independence, spontaneity, and a grasp of the real world.”
Now, does any of that sound like Clary? Yeah, she’s “artistic,” but only sporadically so far. She rarely take the initiative on anything, and even when she does she drags someone else into it. The same applies to spontaneity – so far, she’s almost never done anything of her own volition. And the last? Well, she believes that Jace is a charming, heroic, and totally not a sociopath – if that doesn’t imply that she’s at least a little delusional, I don’ know what does.
Clary asks if Simon’s mom ever said anything else about her, but Simon says he won’t tell her. Clary acts like a six-year-old (yeah, she’s totally self-actualized) and says that that isn’t fair, and Simon comes back with the most honest statement in this entire scene:
“Who ever said the world was fair?”
Well, this book certainly isn’t fair – if it was, Simon would be the hero, Jace would get called on all of his shit, and Clary wouldn’t even be here.
And neither is the real world, for that matter. Case in point: CC’s has, is, or will write five sequels to this book, as well as a prequel and a sequel trilogy.
Seriously, there is no justice.
And then we get another time skip, because CC got bored with that scene or something.
Random Scene Break: 2
Clary and Simon lay on her bed, talking about stuff. And suddenly, I have to wonder if Simon is freakishly tall, or if Clary is a dwarf:
In the end, they lay against each other as they had when they were children: shoulder to shoulder, Clary’s leg thrown over Simon’s. Her toes came to just below his knee.
Seriously, how do you explain that? Is her knee resting on his crotch? What?
We also get a wonderful bit comparing how Simon and Jace smell.
Where Jace had smelled like soap and limes, Simon smelled like someone who’d been rolling around the parking lot of a supermarket, but Clary didn’t mind.
Bitch: 4
Then why mention it in the first place?
Also,
Both Hands, Ma’am: 2
Because no one naturally smells like soap and limes.
And on top of that,
No Shit Sherlock: 2
Gee, Simon smells like he’s been rolling around in a parking lot? I wonder why.
Seriously, compare the two and consider them. When might Clary have actually taken note of Jace’s smell? At a guess, I’d say before they left, especially because that description sounds like a “fresh from the shower” smell. Simon, meanwhile, smells like someone who should take a shower. He’s so dedicated to Clary that he skipped cleaning himself up first.
Simon starts talking about how he was joking with Isabelle shortly before his unfortunate polymorphing. He was joking about Jewish vampires. Clary thinks it’s funny, but apparently Isabelle didn’t. Logically, might be because she doesn’t know that common Jewish stereotype, but I’d be willing to bet it was intended to show that Isabelle’s a stuck-up bitch.
And while the jokes are chuckle-worthy, I feel kinda weird about laughing at them. The fact that both the author and the character are Jewish makes it especially awkward.
Moving on, Simon asks if Isabelle and Jace are sleeping together. And you have to see Clary’s response:
“Ew, no. They’re practically related. They wouldn’t do that.” She paused. “I don’t think so, anyway.”
Okay, no spoilers, but that’s either awkward foreshadowing or CC completely missed that line. Either way, it’s hilarious in hindsight.
Thanks, CC, I needed that.
Anyway, Simon’s all stoic and whatnot, claiming he doesn’t care whether Isabelle and Jace are sleeping together, but Clary doubts that. Congratulations, Clary, you’ve managed to comprehend the mind of a teenage boy. Soon you’ll be ready for long division.
But Simon’s is actually no longer attracted to Isabelle:
“You know, initially I thought Isabelle seemed, I don’t know – cool. Exciting. Different. Then, at the party, I realized she was actually crazy.”
Care to elaborate on that, oh bespectacled one? Because of the three teen Shadowhunters, Isabelle’s the nicest, most humane, and most importantly, sane one. Plus, she’s hot actually seemed to be into you.
Oh, wait, I get it now: Isabelle’s the only potential rival for Clary, so she must be vilified by everyone. Carry on.
But rather than ask what brought about this sudden realization, Clary asks if Isabelle made Simon drink the Draught of Baleful Polymorph. Because Clary is absolutely convinced that the whole incident was Isabelle’s fault. She doesn’t need proof – she’s the sue!
Unfortunately for Clary, it turns out that Simon drank it of his own volition. Seems he thought Clary was coping so well with this whole secret world of hers, and he was feeling left out, and he drank a random liquid to fit in better. So, if anything, him drinking the potion is Clary’s fault, if anyone’s.
Ah, sweet, sweet vindication.
Of course, Clary doesn’t see it this way – she’s the sue, so nothing is ever her fault. Instead, she asks if his experience was bad. Simon says that being turned into a rat was more weird than anything else, because why would an experience like that be traumatizing? That’s just silly!
But what Clary really wants to know about is his experience with the vampires. Simon very obviously lies and says he doesn’t remember any of that, but Clary doesn’t pick that up.
He randomly yawns, and only now does Clary/the narrator realize that it’s actually getting on in the evening. Clary goes to look out the window at the skyline, and when she turns back, Simon has passed out. He has served his purpose, and thus his participation in this scene is at an end.
Clary is actually considerate for a brief moment, and takes Simon’s glasses off so he doesn’t accidentally crush them in his sleep, but Clary immediately loses any points she just gained by wondering where she’s going to sleep. Because finding an empty room in this place with dozens upon dozens of spare bedrooms is just such a hassle. Especially with her only having a whole backpack’s worth of stuff to pack up.
But we’re spared Clary’s whining about how horrible her life is now by Jace knocking at her door. I’m not sure whether his sudden appearance is an improvement or not.
It seems that, unlike Simon, Jace actually took the time to get cleaned up before coming to visit, as he’s changed his clothes and his hair is described as “a halo of damp gold.”
Both Hands, Ma’am: 3
Okay, the angel imagery associated with Jace is getting really damn annoying. As another counter-example, I’m going to quote something from the 1995 film The Prophecy. In it, Christopher Walken plays the angel Gabriel. Here’s one of his wonderful lines:
“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.”
Yeah, Gabriel isn’t very nice in that movie. On a completely unrelated note, Viggo Mortensen plays Lucifer in that movie, and he steals almost every scene he’s in.
Jace asks if he woke Clary, not because he’s sorry, but because she’s still in her pajamas. How very swoon-worthy. She in turn asks if he’s tired, but he says that “much like the postal service, demon hunters never sleep.” That actually sounds like it would be a problem, as a tired warrior would be more likely to make a mistake and get himself killed. And then he starts quoting what’s commonly thought of as the US Postal Service motto (“it’s actually just inscribed on the James Farley Post Office in New York City”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Postal_Service_creed) which once again makes me wonder just how much he actually knows about the mundane world. Also, it’s a bit of a fail on his or CC’s part. Here’s the quote in its entirety:
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
Note that there is no mention of them not sleeping, but there is mention of “the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” Meanwhile, Jace and the others sure are taking their time with finding Clary’s mom. I’m just saying it’s an interesting point.
Clary makes a lame joke about the “gloom of night” bit,
Rapier Twit: 5
but Jace thinks it’s funny, or at least pretends to. And then this happens:
He grinned. Unlike his hair, his teeth weren’t perfect. An upper incisor was slightly, endearingly chipped.
Both Hands, Ma’am: 5
Double because of the mention of both his teeth and his hair. Even when something about Jace isn’t perfect, it’s perfect.
Clary asks what we’re all wondering, namely why he’s here. Personally, I’m asking that in a more general sense – why is he in this book – whereas Clary means in front of her door. Jace responds like the pompous douche that he is:
“‘Here’ as in your bedroom or ‘here’ as in the great spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you’re asking whether it’s all just a cosmic coincidence or there’s a greater meta-ethical purpose to life, well, that’s a puzzler for the ages. I mean, simple ontological reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument-”
I just… why? That’s the only response I can come up with. Well, that and this:
Weird Word Choice: 6
I don’t know how many of those terms CC actually pulled out of her college philosophy books or wherever, but five seemed like a good number. Seriously, read that out loud. If that single paragraph doesn’t make you want to punch Jace, I don’t know what will.
This really makes me wonder if CC has ever actually spoken to another human being in a casual setting, because no real person outside a philosophy class has ever spoken like that. Ever.
Oh, and I guess it deserves one of these too:
Rapier Twit: 3
Clary starts to do the smart thing by reaching to close the door, but Jace stops her. He tries to give some lame excuse about it being her birthday tomorrow and wanting to start celebrating early. But Clary, who not twelve hours ago was completely befuddled by the teenage male mind, now almost psychically knows that Jace is avoiding Alec and Isabelle. And Hodge, too. Seems they all want to talk to him, with the implication being that they want to discuss his actions of the previous night. But that would mean Jace has to actually take responsibility for his behavior and deal with the consequences, so screw that.
Oh, and he’s certain that Clary doesn’t want to talk to him, hence why he’s at her door. In what dimension does that make any sense whatsoever?
Clary says that she just wants something to eat, and what do you know, Jace has a nice picnic all ready to go. Clary says it’s a bit late to go to Central Park, and it would be dangerous. Jace assumes she means because of the faeries, but Clary means because of muggers. And then makes a joke about how mugging Jace would be dangerous.
Rapier Twit: 4
Yes, Jace would be terrifying, what with him being armed with a knife and going against the guy holding a gun. Apparently CC’s never seen The Untouchables.
But no, instead Jace offers to take her to the greenhouse. Because they have a greenhouse. For some reason.
And that brings our chapter to a sweet merciful end.
So, it appears that we’re back in the swing of things. By which I mean lots and lots of filler.
In order to really delve into what’s wrong here, I need to briefly explain something. It’s something I heard about on the Writing Excuses podcast – the “Scene-Sequel” format. It goes something like this – in one chapter, an action or event will happen (the “scene”); in the next chapter, the characters will respond to it (the “sequel”).
Now, this chapter starts out looking like it’s going to follow this pattern; the last two chapters were tense and had a lot of action (at least for this book), so now this chapter should have the characters reacting to what happened. Except that it very quickly falls apart: Jace starts out not really caring about any consequences, and by the end is actively avoiding them; Alec shows that he’s mad, but then promptly disappears; Simon starts out being treated for his injuries, but then miraculously recovers off-screen, and then proceeds to talk about how wonderful and awesome Clary is; Isabelle barely makes an appearance, and the same goes for Hodge.
Chapters like this support my impression that CC never quite got past writing fanfiction; things are certainly happening, but none of them really do anything to move the plot forward. And no, I don’t count developing the Clary-Jace-Simon love triangle as “plot.” Besides, we all know that in spite of all common sense, Clary’s eventually going to end up with Jace, because she barely seems to acknowledge Simon’s existence when A) she needs him for something, or B) another girl shows an interest in him.
This book is in severe need of editing. Preferably with a machete.
Also, apart from Clary’s drawing of Jace, what does the term “Falling Angels” have to do with anything in this chapter?
Next time, Clary and Jace go on a date. On the up side, Simon occasionally channels the reader.
Counts:
Weird Word Choice: 6 (Total 72)
Rapier Twit: 4 (Total 46)
No Shit Sherlock: 2 (Total 35)
Plot Hole: 1 (Total 59)
Random Scene Break: 2 (Total 10)
Both Hands, Ma’am: 5 (Total 23)
Bitch: 4 (Total 20)
swenson on 21 August 2013, 13:59 said:
And potentially a few other people. When Harry gets mad, run away fast, because he doesn’t think too clearly.
Uh, what else did she expect to happen? Wasn’t that pretty much her intent?
At any rate, he’s a jerk, so I wouldn’t care if he hated me. Oh wait, I’m a mundane, he hates me already. How sad, I might have to cry a single pearlescent tear.
Unforeshadowed symbolic and attractive ability, activate!
Bet you ten bucks this is another holdover from serial fanfic days. Character inconsistencies do tend to come up in such things, especially when you don’t really go back and rewrite later.
Also directly contradicted by what Simon says about how “far away” she is in her “imaginary worlds”, where he has to repeat things many times before she even realizes he’s talking to her.
And not Glom of Nit, either.
On a side note, I hear Pryotra wants to spork the original Draco Trilogy? I am okay with this, and looking forward to the comparisons. :D
On a different side note, Jace probably would break the Mary Sue Test from this chapter alone. The seemingly natural good scent? The single flaw that only enhances his appearance (the chipped tooth)? The incredibly witty wit? All bad signs. (Actually, that last one might not be on the MS Test, but it should be.)
lilyWhite on 21 August 2013, 16:36 said:
Wanting someone to suffer because they’re a piece of crap isn’t a hate crime when their sexuality/race/gender/whatever has nothing to do with it. (If I had my way, everyone in this book except for Simon would be pinned to a wall with a zweihander through their chest. And then I’d slap some sense into that idiot.)
Dear goodness, even when Jace has an imperfection, Clare is basically screaming “LIKE IT, YOU F%#KER!”
Okay, what the hell is supposed to be the appeal of a person who can’t answer a simple question without being a total, pompous asshole?
Juracan on 21 August 2013, 20:36 said:
Wasn’t that Bekah, actually?
I was going to say that to be fair, they’re kind of dealing with wounded, but there’s more than just Jace in terms of Shadowhunters who can do things. I had completely forgotten that other Shadowhunters exist. That’s probably not a good sign.
What the hell are they doing right now, anyway?
HE KISSED. HER CHEEK.
How is it that she doesn’t get this? If she isn’t questioning whether or not there’s romantic feelings between her and Simon, what did she think the kiss on the cheek was for? There are some cultures where kisses on the cheek aren’t as big a deal— I get this whenever I visit old family friends because we’re Hispanic. But in mainstream American culture, you don’t just kiss the cheek of someone you’re not related to.
This is bloody awful! How do you not get this?!
While I think this sounds a bit like a lovestruck teenager, it still makes Clary look like an awful person, especially since she’s done nothing but fawn over Jace the minute he showed up.
Also! STILL SOUNDS SMITTEN WITH YOU.
[goes and makes a hurricane out of rage]
Rachel on 21 August 2013, 20:56 said:
Am I the only one feeling slightly vindicated by the low ratings the movie is pulling in?
Master Chief on 21 August 2013, 22:08 said:
The movie has a 17% approval rating and dropping like a rock.
I just thought you should know that.
Apep on 21 August 2013, 22:18 said:
I have no idea. It might have been sarcasm, but it’s so hard to tell with CC’s writing.
Well, she was drawing back in chapter 2, and she does have that weird diary of pictures. Still, it’s so rarely brought up, and is probably her sole character trait.
Probably.
Good point. I feel better now.
I don’t know. If Jace had been established as the kind of person who occasionally misinterpreted simple things or had a tendency to babble, it might almost work. As is, it’s at best more of CC’s terrible “comedy”.
Well, he does appear to be the only one who actually does stuff. Which is kinda sad, considering how much he managed to fuck up a simple rescue mission.
Not in the slightest.
And now it’s dropped to 16%.
Nevertheless, that’s only the professional reviews; audience reviews have it at 82%. Although that could be due to a bunch of hardcore fans. Is there a nickname for fans of this series? Maybe “Boneheads” or something…
Rachel on 21 August 2013, 22:41 said:
It was at 21% two days ago.
If that’s not their nickname, it should be. XD
Fireshark on 22 August 2013, 01:19 said:
I predict Percy Jackson-level box office numbers. It’ll make a fair amount of money, but still be disappointing, and they may try to squeeze a sequel out of it. If there is one, it’ll fail like Sea of Monsters did.
Studio execs tend to overestimate people’s familiarity with certain YA novels in their haste to make the next Harry Potter or Twilight. I’ve never seen anyone older than middle school-age read a Percy Jackson book, I’ve never seen anyone read I am Number Four, and I’ve never even heard of the Mortal Instruments outside of the sporkosphere.
Also, marketing for the City of Bones movie has been a disaster. All the trailers and posters are very generic, uninspired stuff. Nothing to make it stand out from the crowd. The one distinguishing feature they have is that weird swirly symbol on most of the posters that none of the marketing explains, making it a poor gimmick. I remember watching an early trailer in the theaters, where literally every “O” in the blasted thing turned into the swirly symbol as though it would somehow entice everyone to see the movie.
I could be wrong here, but I’m guessing this will not see success outside of the fanbase.
Rachel on 22 August 2013, 01:33 said:
I’ve seen a few high school and college students reading the series, and I read it when I was in college. But I read them for escapism, and because they were fairly innocuous reads (no heavy stuff, no adult content, which I find tiresome after a while) they were the perfect distraction from the stress of finals. I think the movie failed because it decided to strip the sense of fun and adventure from the books and replace it with cheesy acting and cynical nods to pop culture.
Mortal Instruments, on the other hand, doesn’t have a lot going for it anyway, aside from Jace’s blond hair and rippling ab muscles. So as long as they have one shirtless shot of Our Hero, the girls who see it might feel they got their money’s worth.
Ryan McCarthy on 22 August 2013, 01:36 said:
The movie is projected to make less than $20 million dollars this weekend which is low for a film that cost $60 million to make. They are going to start shooting the sequel this fall as well. They are really desperate at this point.
Fireshark on 22 August 2013, 01:42 said:
I felt like they were shooting for Harry Potter 4-7 when they should have been shooting for Harry Potter 1-3.
Also, I vaguely remember that Ares was supposed to be in there somewhere, and they left him out.
Rachel on 22 August 2013, 02:07 said:
Exactly. They made it cheesy, but the wrong kind of cheesy.
They left a lot of things out. Plus, they put Persephone in the Underworld in the middle of SUMMER. Serious mythology fail there.
Not surprising, honestly. I don’t know that many serious MI fans (despite all the paraphernalia I’ve seen at Hot Topic), and I assume many of the casual fans are waiting until the movie’s out on DVD.
swenson on 22 August 2013, 09:29 said:
What I find most interesting is that some people genuinely seemed to like the movie—thought it was fun, if thin on plot. So did they fix the problems of the book, where stuff just sort of happens for no reason, or did they make the action fun and interesting enough to make up for the story? Or at least io9 had a very positive review of it, which really surprised me.
I read them in high school and want to read the sequel series too, and I’m in university now…
But your general point is true, I think, that even a “popular” YA novel can be largely unknown, outside of Harry potter. And it definitely doesn’t mean that people are going to watch the movie simply because they like the series (which means it’d better be a good movie, because you have to attract attention from non-fans).
On a side note, I heard Sea of Monsters is actually decent, aside from a weird bit at the end?
Fireshark on 22 August 2013, 11:17 said:
I wasn’t saying “Percy Jackson is for little kids,” sorry if I came off that way.
Juracan on 22 August 2013, 11:36 said:
From my time on Tumblr, I think it’s ‘Shadowhunters’. Similar to how Percy Jackson fans sometimes call themselves ‘Demigods.’ Speaking of which, I’ve also heard that the reason a sequel was possible was because the first did pretty solidly overseas, whereas domestically the reception was kind of ‘eh.’
And most of the Percy Jackson fans I know are either in high school or college. I’m also a college fan. Rick Riordan actually did a post on his blog welcoming readers of all ages.
And if you thought the Lightning Thief was awful, in regards to faithfulness to the books and Greek mythology, you haven’t seen that earlier draft of the screenplay that’s been floating around the Internet.
Some changes include:
-Hades being described by Chiron as ‘evil incarnate’.
-Athena not being a virgin goddess
-Virgil being the guide to the Underworld, which is constantly referred to as ‘Hell’
-Annabeth and Percy declare their undying love before the Olympian council
Yeah, reading it hurt me, in ways I don’t feel comfortable sharing.
The Sea of Monsters movie was okay, but not outstanding. I was okay with it, but I’m pretty sure I’m more chill in reviews than most of the people who frequent this site…
Oh right, we were talking about something….
Honestly, maybe it’s because I don’t watch too much television, but the marketing for this seems to boil down to appealing to fans of the book and that there attractive people in leather in the movie. Although I’ve heard that Clary might actually fight in the movie, and I haven’t seen any reviewers calling Jace as big a douchewad as he was in the book, so… some up-side?
There’s not a lot out there about what exactly the movie is about, other than that Clary is an ordinary girl who gets to save the world. Hell, a lot of the action scenes aren’t elaborated on in trailers, giving brief snippets to instead show us all the main characters in black leather and shots of the two leads having tension. The only real positive review I’ve seen of the movie basically says it’s unashamed wish-fulfillment, which doesn’t seem like much of a compliment to me. Though this review seems to indicate that it’s much more enjoyable if you don’t take it seriously.
swenson on 22 August 2013, 13:17 said:
STAB
STABBITY STAB
JDKDGFHGDH STAB
Well, okay.
Seriously, though, is it not a major theme of the book that Hades isn’t evil and the Underworld isn’t evil either? And that he gets accused for everything because everyone just assumes he’s evil, but he’s totally not really and prejudice is bad? I still don’t understand how the filmmakers just plain missed that part of the book.
That’s probably quite true.
Forest Purple on 22 August 2013, 14:58 said:
Terry Pratchett, as I recall, does this quite frequently. The difference is that
1) it’s actually funny
& 2) his characters don’t sound like pretentious assholes.
Thank you :)
As far as Sea of Monsters went, I think it was just way too serious. Yeah, the books are read by high school/college students, but it’s because they’re a light, relatively fun series. The movies don’t match with the tone of the books at all. It seems like Sea of Monsters tried to cut out all the “unneeded” stuff, and ended up getting rid of all the fun parts and needing to pad it because it didn’t have enough material.
Asahel on 22 August 2013, 15:38 said:
CC missed a key element in the joke based upon all the times I’ve seen it done right. The way I usually see it is when the somewhat spacy character is asked “Why are you here?” and launches right into a “Why are any of us here really?” kind of speech. Sometimes the character then reacts to the other characters’ baffled looks with a “Or did you mean that in a ‘what series of choices and happenstances ultimately led us to be in this place at this time?’” kind of follow-up. The point is that they missed the point. The way Jace does it, he sets it up right from the beginning as “Do you mean why am I in your bedroom or…?” So, you already know he knows what she meant and he’s just making a stupid joke that only works when it’s either done in earnest or in mock earnestness. Jace did neither.
Resistance on 22 August 2013, 18:38 said:
Two City of Bones sporks consecutively? I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. It should prepare me for when I’m dragged to the movie by Jace fan-girls.
swenson on 22 August 2013, 19:30 said:
@Asahel – It’s one of life’s great mysteries, isn’t it. Why are we here? Are we the produce of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? With a plan for us, and stuff. I don’t know, man, but it keeps me up at night.
Master Chief on 22 August 2013, 20:18 said:
I like to ignore that question on the grounds that thinking about it too much will ruin my sanity. I tend to focus more on ‘what can I/we do while here’
Resistance on 22 August 2013, 20:22 said:
Just found this on City of Bones by a movie critic – pretty much made my day.
Maria on 22 August 2013, 22:46 said:
I think I know why Jace’s humor comes off poorly compared to Simon’s. Jace has the humor of a cocky, arrogant badass who gets away with his perpetual snark and devil-may-care attitude because he’s so damn good at what he does — like Dr. House.
But because this attitude is largely undeserved (Jace is mediocre at the best of times, and only looks good because Claire keeps all of the other Shadowhunters on the bench), it comes across as grating — like the guy at work who screws everything up and needs to be helped with basic tasks but has somehow convinced himself that he’s the company’s MVP. I think Clare was trying to recapture Draco Malfoy — not the Harry Potter character, but the radically different one from her fanfiction, but botched things up because she didn’t want to spend any time developing Jace as a Shadowhunter.
Compare that to Simon, who has less physical power than Jace but carries himself with more grace. His humor isn’t the cocky pseudo-badass type — he’s more wry and self-deprecating. He doesn’t mind making a joke at his expense or playing off someone else’s jokes (the way he does with Jace). Because he doesn’t have a huge ego, you can just enjoy his humor without itching to pick at it the way you want to do with Jace.
Juracan on 23 August 2013, 07:55 said:
YES. I’m not the only one who thought of that! That’s really a better example, given that when that happens, we don’t know the characters at all, and it helps to really introduce them to the viewer. Here, it just makes Jace look like he’s purposefully trying to be annoying. Which, in some ways, could make him an endearing smartass, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve seen everything else he’s said and done and he’s kind of an asshole.
Pryotra on 23 August 2013, 10:24 said:
Because Jace, an angel, is falling for Clary! I’m getting so good at Suethor logic.
Well, I’m not going to do it on this site, since the sporking is a WHOLE lot more informal. But from the first couple chapters that I’ve been doing with a friend, it’s terribly written, Jace and Draco are pretty much identical, and Clare doesn’t seem to really understand HP canon all that well. Besides, I still have to finish my review of Betrayed and Zoey Redbird’s cheating on her boyfriend with a teacher.
It’s painful.
Oh, and on another note, tomorrow, I’m watching the movie, so maybe I’ll write a review.
Resistance on 23 August 2013, 11:56 said:
Betrayed review?! I’m more than excited. I’m on the fifth book now (I don’t know why I keep subjecting myself to such torture) so Loren seems but a distant past. I think PCK wanted to copy Pretty Little Liars or something.
Juracan on 23 August 2013, 20:17 said:
Yeah, which is part of what makes Hades my favorite character in the series. That movie script I linked to? Basically has Hades say he gets off on watching other people suffer. It’s pretty weird.
Does she not understand HP canon, or does she just elect to ignore it?
Rachel on 23 August 2013, 20:46 said:
I think it’s part of what makes Nico such a vivid character, too. They’re not bad, they’re just pigeonholed into these ancient stereotypes that none of the other gods seem willing to let die.
WAT.
No, seriously, WAT.
Did they even read the books?
Ryan McCarthy on 23 August 2013, 20:48 said:
@Juracan
I assume she deliberately ignored the canon in her fanfics. I don’t know from experience since I’ve never actually written a fanfic in my life but one of my friends actually reads and reviews fanfics for a web show she does and according to her, deliberately having the characters be OTC and ignoring canon is a definite no bueno in fanfiction.
Anyone can feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, though.
Fireshark on 23 August 2013, 21:42 said:
I actually read the whole script you linked. It’s pretty close to what we actually got structure-wise, but at least they took out some of the worst bits. The cut from PG-13 down to PG seems to have helped the movie a fair amount (implied bestiality, etc), and they softened up their treatment of Hades a little bit. Also, I’m glad the “romance” was taken out; I’m pretty sure the first book didn’t have any and what was in that script was really forced (more “romantic” staring than in Twilight).
On the other hand it has Ares, who I think was absent from the released film.
Pryotra on 23 August 2013, 22:23 said:
I’m pretty sure she doesn’t understand it. She made some really basic errors, like Polyjuice potion only lasting for a half hour, events in years that were gone over that never happened. Claiming that the ebil Gryffindors being just as dirty in their gameplay as the woobie Slytherins etc. etc. Oh, and murdering
Ron and Hermione’severyone’s character.Also, the whole “ZOMG potions accident!” was a cliche back in 2001.
She might just have decided to ignore it, though. It’s not as if she hasn’t ignored reality before.
Master Chief on 23 August 2013, 22:36 said:
Hey Ryan, where can I find this fanfic review website?
Ryan McCarthy on 23 August 2013, 22:52 said:
@Master Chief
You can find her YouTube Channel here
Master Chief on 23 August 2013, 22:54 said:
thank you
Fireshark on 25 August 2013, 16:40 said:
Looks like the movie isn’t going to turn a profit. I’m pretty sure this was a case of really bad marketing. The fans seem to like it, though.
I wonder if the sequel will really get made. If so, it’s scheduled to start production next month, so they’d better decide quickly.
Ryan McCarthy on 25 August 2013, 16:56 said:
@Fireshark
No but it’s still making almost twice as much as Beautiful Creatures did. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a flop either way.
I assume the sequel will be rushed out as fast as possible in order to squeeze what little money they can out of the brand.
Fireshark on 25 August 2013, 17:07 said:
Bonus: Compare these two links:
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/mortal-instruments-how-author-cassandra-609043
https://twitter.com/cassieclare/status/370102963827527680
Apep on 25 August 2013, 17:36 said:
What I find really interesting is that the tweet came about a day after the article.
Juracan on 25 August 2013, 19:32 said:
Yeah, this really does not leave a good taste in my mouth. I really want to say that maybe this is out of context, and we’re all misreading this, but for her to suddenly jump into a discussion of the film and imply she had little to do with it… this disgusts me.
Also, I found this article.
Fireshark on 25 August 2013, 19:53 said:
I get the idea that she’s happy with the movie, and is glad it was made, but wants to defer responsibility if someone complains about it. She’s been pretty positive again since that tweet. She hasn’t disavowed the movie; she just doesn’t want any criticism. Her reaction’s sort of like a fanfiction writer asking people not to leave negative reviews.
Ziggy on 25 August 2013, 21:44 said:
It IS a pretty smart move though.
I kind of feel sorry for the actors though. I don’t know much about most of them, but casting Lena Headey here was a total waste. Her character has as much personality as the Mortal Cup itself (and only slightly more dialogue), and plays a similar role for the good guys. They could have had anyone play Jocelyn Fray (Lindsay Lohan, Cassandra Clare herself, Martin Lawrence in a wig, the text-to-speech function in Windows) — they didn’t need to shell out for an actually good actress.
I’m not sure if it’s possible for an actor/actress to have a role deleted from their IMDB page, but I would seriously advise our stars to look into it.
swenson on 25 August 2013, 21:57 said:
@Juracan – I really like that second article you linked. I think it does a good job of summing up the real problem with filing the serial numbers off fanfiction and selling it—fanfiction isn’t inherently problematic. And writing something similar to or inspired by something else you like isn’t automatically an issue either. But when these things get in the way of telling your own unique story, such as when you lose character motivations or background (because in the fanfic, you assume people know that stuff already), or when it just becomes a patchwork of things you like (like the Draco Trilogy…), that’s when it becomes a problem.
Ryan McCarthy on 25 August 2013, 23:49 said:
@swenson
I think the fact that this tactic off scratching off serial numbers on fanfics and passing them off as an original work is successful to the point where Amazon recently started a thing for legal fanfics that can be sold and make the writer money off of it.
I don’t know how to feel about the Amazon Worlds thing, personally. I mean, I guess it’s great you can make money off of fanfiction but shouldn’t fanfiction be a hobby, not a career?
Maxie on 26 August 2013, 06:46 said:
Well, people have been making money off of fanfiction for quite sometime now. How long as that Star Wars Expanded Universe thing been around?
Juracan on 26 August 2013, 10:00 said:
And I think this seems to be a huge problem with Mortal Instruments: that you’re expected to know who these characters are. Even discounting the fanfiction roots, let’s look at it:
-Clary is your everyday artistic girl with a talent.
-Jace is a bad boy with a (supposed) heart of gold.
-Simon is a geeky kid who is in love with his best friend.
-Isabelle is a “slutty” girl with no shame.
-Alec is the gay guy who’s in love with his straight “friend.”
And the characters all act as if that their roles— Clary is always disconcertingly angry and envious towards Isabelle, despite her doing very little that’s aggravating. People talk about Jace as if he’s not really that awful, yet when we read his lines, he’s an insufferable douchenozzle. And so on, and so forth. Clare isn’t interested in telling us who they are, as much as getting them to do things, and even half the time most of that isn’t plot related, preferring to work on drama.
I think the reason why the series is popular enough is that readers can project these stereotypes on these characters and say, “I sympathize with this character”, despite the fact that it’s not a character, it’s a stereotype. And I feel like I’m being harsh, but I think it’s safe to say they’re not characters— Apep has brought up multiple times that we have no idea why Clary and Alec are attracted to Jace, or why Simon is attracted to or even puts up with Clary, a girl who blatantly shuns his interests.
And from what I’ve heard, Clare keeps this up in her prequel stories, too.
The sketchy thing with that, though, is that you don’t own any rights to your fanfiction, meaning that while you get paid for it, the author or show’s writers can come in and take all of your ideas, characters or plots without crediting or acknowledging you.
But is that really fanfiction? Technically? It’s still published under the same company as Star Wars. I think. Maybe.
[doesn’t know squat about how Lucasfilm works]
swenson on 26 August 2013, 10:12 said:
I tend to lump all fanfiction and shared universes into one category, it’s just generally fanfiction isn’t strictly legal and isn’t vetted by anybody who holds the actual copyright. (and generally fanfiction is worse, because it hasn’t been professionally edited) But I just don’t see that there’s all that much difference between Timothy Zahn writing the Thrawn Trilogy, Gail Simone writing Deadpool, and squirrelking writing Half Life: Full Life Consequences, aside from the fact that Gail Simone and Timothy Zahn can actually write. The creative process is more or less the same whenever you’re working in somebody else’s universe, isn’t it?
But obviously the biggest difference is that expanded universes/novelizations/whatever have to get passed by whoever holds the copyright first, and therefore you can legally make money off it.
Maxie on 26 August 2013, 18:24 said:
The sketchy thing with that, though, is that you don’t own any rights to your fanfiction, meaning that while you get paid for it, the author or show’s writers can come in and take all of your ideas, characters or plots without crediting or acknowledging you.
A lot of contracts do work that way, especially if you are just an ordinary Jane or Joe working for a major corporation. While it’s good manners to always credit someone for using their ideas, characters, and plots (it doesn’t cost you anything and it makes them feel good) a lot of times the way contract is written the writer ‘s only guaranteed compensation is their paycheck. They are generating work product the same way and have the same ownership situation as a scientist doing research for a pharmaceutical corporation — they get paid, but they don’t usually own the patents to any drugs they might develop using the corporation’s facilities and resources (which are comparable to a fanfiction author developing stories using someone else’s characters and setting).
And the characters all act as if that their roles— Clary is always disconcertingly angry and envious towards Isabelle, despite her doing very little that’s aggravating. People talk about Jace as if he’s not really that awful, yet when we read his lines, he’s an insufferable douchenozzle. And so on, and so forth. Clare isn’t interested in telling us who they are, as much as getting them to do things, and even half the time most of that isn’t plot related, preferring to work on drama.
Agreed 100%. Clare seems to assume that we know who these archetypes are supposed to be, so she doesn’t spend a lot of time developing them as people. Jace is the sexy, snarky bad boy and if you can’t see that in the character as written you can just think back to the last time you read a story that successfully realized such a character and just superimpose him onto Jace. Isabella is the sultry seductress but the closest she gets to that is wearing sexy outfits and dancing suggestively with a boy in a night club once (not exactly Mata Hari) but surely you’ve seen a show or read a book that did a character like this well, right? Just imagine that that other character is Isabelle and keep going!
It’s more work for the reader, less work for Clare, but guess who winds up with all of the book royalties?
Juracan on 27 August 2013, 21:59 said:
I suppose, but in those cases it’s actually a contract. For fanfiction writers, it seems a bit… weird? For no contract, they get paid, but have no real recognition for their work if the actual author sees fit. I guess by agreeing to it, they’re agreeing to a contract of sorts, but still…
Maxie on 28 August 2013, 07:46 said:
That’s a good point!
I’m not familiar with the Amazon Worlds program. I just assumed that they made the writers sign some kind of agreement (or click through some kind of agreement, I guess) to that effect before accepting submissions.
Juracan on 30 August 2013, 09:45 said:
So I just discovered that apparently, there are people who find Alec’s behavior appealing.
If you’ll excuse me, I need to find a brick wall to bash my head against.
Apep on 3 September 2013, 16:25 said:
Wow. A few thoughts on that:
1) I’m not getting how that’s “hot”. He’s threatening to kill her. This is not “sexy” in any way, shape, or form. The fact that this is seen as appealing is really disturbing.
2) They are aware that Alec is gay, right? Meaning that he has absolutely no interest in women. At all.
Nate Winchester on 6 September 2013, 14:59 said:
So said the Winchesters.
Hey, being the team medic IS the ultimate power. As Little Green said, “Don’t F&*@# with your white mage.”
To be fair… that’s often true in the real world.
I actually thought that was the definition of “hero complex”. Or is that just me being uncomfortable with “really likes to help people” being defined as a “complex”>
Oh for… it’s only a hate crime if you’re attacking him BECAUSE he’s gay. Beating him up just because he’s a horrible human being is just good sense. (and plain old assault)
To be fair, that is one of the darker sides of human nature. Schadenfreude is just the most mild case of it.
At risk of flame war… but why? Do gay people have to be sues? Can they not also be shown with the same downsides as any other person? I mean… it almost seems like you’re saying only straight people should be obsessed, racist, violent psychopaths. (or asexuals)
If anything, it’s making Alec look more like a well-rounded character than the mains.
I’d say I have, but then I’m not a human being.
…or real.
I am so saving that as a snappy comeback. Now I just need a scene to use it in…
So who gets to watch it for the site?
Oh. =( Wish I could join you, Pryotra!
Brad Jones & wife said it was one of the more fun bad movies they watched. So I’m hoping we’ll get some delicious rifftrax out of this.
Oh swenson… you always know just what to say.
Will links be provided? Hmmm… dunno about a links page but sometimes I do wish the site had some hubs or jump points one could use to check out other works by the authors here.
Because people like disappointing us when it comes to stereotypes.
Nate Winchester on 6 September 2013, 15:00 said:
Oh, and speaking of the movie, I almost meant to add the i09 article that had some snippets from interviews with the star of said movie.
Ziggy on 6 September 2013, 18:03 said:
At risk of flame war… but why? Do gay people have to be sues? Can they not also be shown with the same downsides as any other person? I mean… it almost seems like you’re saying only straight people should be obsessed, racist, violent psychopaths. (or asexuals)
There’s a vast chasm between having the ordinary downsides of any other person and being an obsessed, racist, violent psychopath. Gay people don’t have to be Sues, but I can definitely see how it can be problematic if you only have one gay lead character and he is almost completely repellent. It doesn’t work the same way for straight characters since there’s usually more than one straight character in any story so portraying one as a bad guy doesn’t make them representative.
It doesn’t bother me that much in this context though; I don’t think that Clare is homophobic and we know from reading the books that not all gay people in the story are portrayed negatively or as being horrific bullies. But if it was another story where the token minority (the token gay guy, the token Jew, the token black person) was evil then it might have unfortunate implications. Not necessarily intentional bigotry, but it would create that impression to people.
Juracan on 8 September 2013, 15:42 said:
I considered watching it and making a review, but my last article from a couple weeks ago is still listed as ‘Pending’, so I think I’d wait for that to clear up before writing something else for II.
Maybe, but it doesn’t help that as far as I can tell, Alec has no other character traits besides his sexuality. I could be wrong, but it’s still rather disconcerting that the only gay character (Magnus Bane is bisexual) that’s been shown here is incredibly jealous and racist.
Nate Winchester on 9 September 2013, 14:12 said:
But that shouldn’t have anything to do with his sexuality. Else you get into the “token paradox” where if you make a minority character “too good” or “too bad” you get in trouble for various reasons. (and to make it more complicated, everyone debates over where the line denoting “too” is) So in the end, people just end up making all the cast the same (less diverse) just to avoid the hassle. (see also)
@Ziggy & Juracan
You guys did help me realize something. I think what “saves” Alec a lot in this book isn’t that there’s other gay folks in it, but that there’s other shadowhunters. Looking at that entire group, we can see it’s not skin color or sexual orientation that makes the folks obsessed, racist, psychopath etc, but their jobs! Which could also be an interesting examination in the right hands, about how fighting monsters numbs your heart & soul and slowly cuts you off from the world and…
Oh wait, Supernatural did it. ;-)
Apep on 9 September 2013, 16:17 said:
No it shouldn’t. But it doesn’t help that Alec doesn’t appear to have any redeeming qualities, and is the only gay character.
When you get right down to it, Alec’s just a Mean Girl who just happens to be a guy. Only turned up to eleven. Again, when Clary threatens to out Alec to Jace, he threatens to murder her.
I didn’t make that up, and I didn’t exaggerate it. What makes me uncomfortable is that the only thing keeping Alec from being a Depraved Homosexual is that he’s technically a good guy.
And while it would be nice to think that Shadowhunters are so horrible because of their jobs, remember, Jace & co. being racist sociopaths is just my/our interpretation. I doubt CC intended them to come across that way. As near as I can tell, she sees nothing wrong with how they treat mundanes. Which probably just makes it worse.
Why is it that crappy writers never seem to notice when their characters are horrible, horrible people?
swenson on 9 September 2013, 17:27 said:
Because they’re so in love with their characters, they don’t see how anyone else could not love them. Love is, after all, blind.
Nate Winchester on 9 September 2013, 22:08 said:
That does make him equal to Jace, doesn’t it? What about Isabelle/other guy (name eludes me), did they have redeeming qualities? Was it just bitch-slapping Jace once in awhile or have I forgotten another?
Hmm… ironic that the author’s “heroic” shadowhunters all have “irredeemable asshole” as their common thread. Really, I think it’s a form of laziness. They are the “heroes” after all. Why should any work be put in to make them more likable? They kill monsters and stuff! The weak author never thinks beyond that, doesn’t want to put any more thought into it.
No no, you misunderstand. I’m not saying that’s how it is. I’m saying that’s how it could be… if a bit more effort and thought was put into all of it by the author. Remember it’s not just about tearing down. We’re also about finding those little tiny good seeds in the stories and figuring out what sort of quality could have been grown from them. (followed by weeping at what wasn’t)
May I present… XD