Forget it, baby, Edward smirked as he passed a wide-eyed freshman girl. Her thoughts tangled into a knot of lust and incoherency and Edward rolled his eyes. He was sick of high school but after nearly a century he figured it was a little late to start complaining now. Besides, Carlisle didn’t mind him cutting class once in a while, just as long as it wasn’t to suck on some kid’s neck. Edward sighed, suddenly recalling his thirst. It had been growing worse over the last few days but he hadn’t had time to track any wildcat with three book reports all coming due at the same time.
The day went quicker than he expected. Of course, Mrs. Morgan gave him an “A” on his report. She was a sucker for his smile. Things were going pretty smoothly, except for the everyday annoyances like girls staring at him and ogling his perfectly chiseled chest. Once, he couldn’t help but glare across the room at a girl’s objectifying stare. Didn’t she know he was more than just a pretty face?
Lunch was a welcome break, nevermind the fact that he couldn’t eat. As Edward slid into the chair next to Emmett he felt something different in the air. The usual odors of sweat, tater-tots, and knock-off perfume were mingled with a new, intriguing scent. Edward twisted in his seat, unable to find the source.
Then he saw her.
She was staring back at him from across the room, her eyes expressionless, mouth hanging open like a door someone forgot to shut. She wasn’t hot or ugly but Edward felt instinctively that she was special. He watched her all through lunch, trying to remain inconspicuous. His suspicions were confirmed with every minute he listened.
Her name was Bella and she only had two expressions: open mouth and blank stare. He could tell just by listening to the thoughts of the kids around her that she was the blankest slate in the school. And that was saying something. She had nothing interesting to say, judging from her peers’ thoughts, and she seemed to be zoning out of the conversation around her table.
The effect of drugs? Edward wondered for a moment. No, she looked more Kohl’s than Etnies.
Emmett suddenly nudged him out his concentration. “Have you met the new girl yet?”
“She seems to be a flat liner,” Edward grunted.
“Yeah, I heard some kids saying she has no personality,” Emmett said. “No social life, either. Can you hear her thoughts?”
Edward shook his head, “I don’t think she has any.”
“And we thought we were dead,” Emmett chuckled.
Lunch ended abruptly and the cafeteria fell dark and silent. The only life forms left were the bacteria growing on the abandoned food trays and Edward. He was too deep in thought to realize he was alone.
The longer he sat the more he felt the pangs of his thirst. It had been too long since he had tasted blood and every moment he denied himself, the desire grew deeper, more intense and desperate. He didn’t feel like chasing a cougar for miles before he could satiate his hunger, either. Why expend so much energy hunting when there’s fast food just sitting around waiting to be eaten in suburbia? He thought of all the dumb girls he could have spirited away to their deaths by now. Much easier than wrestling with a ton of muscle and teeth on some rocky cleft.
His mind drew back to the new girl, Bella. Her smell was different. Her eyes were vacant, her life was a blank page and her social life, according to Emmett’s sources, was non-existent.
She was perfect.
Edward found Bella in the biology lab, unpacking her books before class. He sidled into the chair next to her, still unsure of his plan.
“So, you’re new here?” he asked, flashing a smile he knew would make her loopy.
It worked. Her blank stare morphed into a grin. “Yeah.”
There’s no way you’re not fried, Edward smiled to himself. Out loud he said, “Do you like biology?”
“Yeah,” her smile faded as she stared into his eyes. “Your eyes are weird.”
“Thanks.” He flashed another smile to hide his chagrin. “Do you want to skip class with me?”
“Sure.”
“I’m dangerous. Does that scare you?” He looked down, suddenly afraid he’d said too much.
“I’m only scared of losing…” she hesitated, “this chance to skip class with a hot upperclassman.”
Edward leaned forward and whispered, “I’ll see you in the parking lot.”
Everything happened exactly the way Edward expected. The only twist was that the Police Chief who investigated the murder turned out to be her dad. Edward knew that Carlisle would throw a fit when he found out the girl’s death was due to a lack of blood. The old man would get over it, though. He always did. Edward also knew that Alice would give him one of those I knew it smirks and Jasper would sulk with chagrined jealousy.
Bella was different and Edward congratulated himself for being so perceptive. Most teens would be missed if they disappeared. Most teens had friends, family, and loyal comrades to rally for them if they died. Not Bella. All she had was a distracted father and a mother who couldn’t even make it back for a weekend funeral. They had to postpone it until she could fly in on Monday, after the baseball game. No one ever suspected vampires to be responsible, except some crippled old Indian. But no on believed him so it didn’t matter.
The next school week came and everything appeared to be back to normal. Edward caught his reflection in a passing mirror and flashed a grin. His eyes were dazzling this morning, thanks to that dull girl. He had already forgotten her name. As he walked to class he caught the tail-end of a senior girl’s lustful thought. He flashed a grin her direction and watched the color flood her cheeks.
You next, baby.
SlyShy on 6 March 2009, 18:47 said:
This is such a more compelling concept than Twilight… sigh. Nice job though, I was highly amused.
WiseWillow on 6 March 2009, 19:17 said:
Ha, Bella has no thoughts. You win! Oddly enough, I like predator Edward better than angsty Edward.
Gildor on 6 March 2009, 19:22 said:
It made me laugh, I like it!
Amelie on 6 March 2009, 20:13 said:
The story was good, but the thing that stuck out most to me when reading this was that it was so much better written than Twilight. Seriously. I was so happy to read prose that didn’t make me gag. It almost made the characters worth reading about!
Kitty on 6 March 2009, 20:17 said:
Lawl. This is definitely better than the original.
That Wanderer on 6 March 2009, 21:16 said:
Bella was different and Edward congratulated himself for being so perceptive. Most teens would be missed if they disappeared. Most teens had friends, family, and loyal comrades to rally for them if they died. Not Bella. All she had was a distracted father and a mother who couldn’t even make it back for a weekend funeral. They had to postpone it until she could fly in on Monday, after the baseball game. No one ever suspected vampires to be responsible, except some crippled old Indian. But no on believed him so it didn’t matter.
I found a mistake. It should be “But no one believed him,” instead of “But no on.”
I agree with the others! This is so much better than “The Twilight Saga!” It’s engaging and well-written, and entertaining (well, more entertaining than a boring girl’s diary, lol).
Diamonte on 6 March 2009, 21:28 said:
Only one word came to my mind after reading this, and that is BRILLIANT!
Ty on 6 March 2009, 22:12 said:
Wow, this is totally gripping! The writing is perfectly paced as well. And I love how you put a twist on the use of the word “special” — it’s so often used in fantasy/SF novels to indicate that someone is going to be a hero, or that something incredible and life-changing will occur for that person, but here it means death. The negative connotation is a nicely ironic and subtle warping of its traditional usage.
SubStandardDeviation on 6 March 2009, 23:26 said:
@ That Wanderer: Regardless, that’s the best part of this great fic. And it’s canon, too.
falconempress on 7 March 2009, 02:15 said:
Epic. that is all Ill say:)
Ari on 7 March 2009, 02:29 said:
I love the concept of vampires picking people who wouldn’t be missed…it’s so much more interesting. Really, this was great. Epic win.
Lucywannabe on 7 March 2009, 02:49 said:
This is fantastic, and, at the risk of sounding like the other commentors, better written and far more engaging than the original story.
OverlordDan on 7 March 2009, 08:01 said:
So awesome. Love the description of Bella. ‘Two expressions’, indeed.
Puppet on 7 March 2009, 11:05 said:
lol, I love the first words. Juniper you win.
Apep on 7 March 2009, 13:11 said:
“Can you hear her thoughts?”
Edward shook his head, “I don’t think she has any.”
“And we thought we were dead.”
Awesomness.
Also:“some rocky cleft”
I think you mean ‘cliff’. A cleft looks like the ground was ‘cleaved’. Mostly, you can’t stand on a cleft, or you’d be falling. I know, I’m nitpicking. Still awesom, though.
Juniper on 7 March 2009, 14:00 said:
@ Apep: How dare you question Edward’s ability to wrestle a cougar on a cleft! He can climb up vertical canyon walls and jump into space if he wants! (Actually, thank you for the nitpicking. I did mean “cliff”.)
Yes, predator Edward was a lot of fun…more fun, that is, than angsty Edward. I actually started to wonder where his story might have gone, if not for Bella’s intrusion.
Cate on 7 March 2009, 17:43 said:
Absolutely brilliant, and I love the mocking of “chagrin”. :P
Reggie on 7 March 2009, 18:10 said:
because standing in someone’s bedroom, watching them sleep, doesn’t make one a predator? XD Really, this /completes/ Meyer’s Edward, more than changing him. :P
Diamonte on 7 March 2009, 19:25 said:
Yeah, the mocking of ‘chagrin’ is awesome. I hate that word now, and whenever I see it, I really want to throw whatever I am reading to the ground. It seems to be Meyer’s favorite word.
Rand on 8 March 2009, 17:06 said:
Haha, this is about 30 thousand paragraphs shorter than the origional and it still has more to say.
Snow White Queen on 8 March 2009, 20:03 said:
Tee hee, this is genius!
Zooty on 9 March 2009, 04:07 said:
Very well written, and an intriguing concept for a book all your own that could be the antithesis of twilight :P
Moonehs on 16 March 2009, 20:33 said:
Lovely. Almost as grand as the works of Andrew Llyod Webber! appaluse Juniper, this is amazing. Much more quick to the point than Twilight, but it definetly as so much more thrill to it than the original
Danielle on 31 May 2009, 22:03 said:
“Did you read her thoughts?”
“I don’t think she has any.”
So THAT’S why Edward couldn’t read Bella’s thoughts! And here all this time I thought Bella was special.
Windy on 9 September 2009, 18:14 said:
“Did you read her thoughts?”
“I don’t think she has any.”
….
I thought Meyer’s explaination was that Bella’s skull is too thick for her thoughts to be heard. But hey, this is a better one! She has no thoughts? No wonder. XD This is pure awesomeness, dude. PURE AWESOMENESS. I read it twice and still ended up applauding at its brilliance! =D
Casper on 1 February 2010, 18:13 said:
win! XD i was almost sad this ended, unlike twilight, which dragged on.. and on.. and on.. and on..
he can’t read her thoughts because she has none. <3