When we last left Bella and her undead groupies, they were finishing a game baseball, waiting to be approached by a group of potentially hostile vamps.

Chapter 18: The Hunt

They emerged one by one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters apart.

It gives me great pleasure to announce, Ladies and Gentlemen, at page 375, THE PLOT HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!!

And I gotta say, considering the sheer volume of estrogen that Twilight has injected into vampire mythology, these guys aren’t half bad. Ok, they are still dressed as backpackers, which isn’t the most threatening choice of clothes, but they’re far more feral, wild, and outright villainous than the Cullens. They don’t walk; they prowl, as if they’re ready to pounce at any moment, and their eyes are a dark, angry red. They’re about as close to actual vampires as this book is going to get.

However, since our narrative is focalized through a chronically shallow 17-year-old girl, we also get the obligatory description of their physical attractiveness.

The man in front was easily the most beautiful, his skin olive-toned beneath the typical pallor, his hair a glossy black. He was of medium build, hard-muscled, of course, but nothing next to Emmett’s brawn. He smiled an easy smile, exposing a flash of gleaming white teeth.

The woman was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly between the man facing her and the loose grouping around me, her chaotic hair quivering in the slight breeze. Her posture was distinctly feline. The second male hovered unobtrusively behind them, slighter than the leader, his light brown hair and regular features nondescript. (p. 376)

Gee, I wonder which of these vampires will be evil; the one with a an entire paragraph devoted to his olive-toned skin, chiseled musculature, and glossy black hair. Or the ugly one? Place your bets now, folks.

The trio approaches the Cullens, and introduce themselves as Laurent (the pretty one), James (the ugly one), and Victoria (the girl). And then… they talk sociably.

“Do you have room for a few more players?” Laurent asked sociably.

Carlisle Matched Laurent’s friendly tone. “Actually, we were just finishing up. But we’d certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?”

“No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves.” (p. 377)

Wait a minute, I thought these guys were supposed to be aggressive and feral. This is the terrible menace to our Mary Sue’s safety? This is what everyone was so worked up over last chapter? Laurent asks Carlisle about his hunting range, and pleasantly agrees not to infringe on their territory. I mean, they’re just chatting. Carlisle offers to show them to their house to explain their vegetarian way of life, and Laurent appears genuinely interested.

“That sounds very interesting, and welcome.” His smile was genial. “We’ve been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven’t had a chance to clean up in a while.” His eyes moved appreciatively over Carlisle’s refined appearance.

Oh for the love of— Vampires are not “genial”. They’re savage, brutal, hunters of the night. I take back what I said before. These guys are as lame as the rest of them.

Finally, mercifully, the wind disturbs Bella’s hair, and the three strangers realize that she’s human. Why they didn’t pick up on that fact earlier (since Alice explicitly stated last chapter that she could smell her from across the field) is left without explanation, but since this is the first action this book has seen (aside from Edward’s hissy fits), I’ll take it half baked.

“You brought a snack?” [James] asked, his expression incredulous as he took an involuntary step forward.

Edward snarled even more ferociously, harshly, his lip curling high above his glistening, bared teeth. Laurent stepped back again.

“I said she’s with us,” Carlisle corrected in a hard voice. (p. 379)

Laurent and Carlisle manage to calm everybody down for the moment, but it’s pretty clear that James is still intent on drinking our poor protagonist’s Blood. Hurriedly, Alice, Emmett, and Edward shepherd Bella back to the car. Our protagonist had apparently been paralyzed with terror this entire time, though you wouldn’t have known it from the narration, which has had the same indifferent tone as in every other scene not describing Edward’s body.

This whole time I’d been rooted in place, terrified into absolute immobility. Edward had to grip my elbow and pull sharply to break my trance. (p.380)

Show, don’t tell, Stephenie! You’re trying to write a scary, tense scene. Put some emotion into your prose. It doesn’t work to write an entire scene in a deadpan voice, and then say afterwards that the narrator was scared shitless. Here, I was bored for the majority of that scene because it looked like the rival vampire clans were about to sit down for tea and dumplings.

Anyway, now that they are away from the vampires, Edward immediately asserts his masculinity by flinging Bella into the backseat of the van and ordering Emmett to strap her in. I’m not exaggerating anything here.

We reached the Jeep in an impossibly short time, and Edward barely slowed as he flung me into the backseat.

“Strap her in,” he ordered Emmett, who slid in beside me. (p. 318)

See what I mean?

Once Emmett has Bella strapped in, they’re off, swerving down the road at ridiculous speed. Edward is mumbling something low and furious, and generally acts like a psychotic control freak. Finally, Bella has the good sense to panic.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

No one Answered. No one even looked at me.”

“Dammit, Edward! Where are you taking me?”

“We have to take you away from here — far away— now.” He didn’t look back, his eyes on the road. The speedometer read a hundred and five miles an hour.

“Turn around! You have to take me home!” I shouted. I struggled with the stupid harness, tearing at the straps.

“Emmett,” Edward said grimly.

And Emmett secured my hands in his steely grasp. (p. 381)

Yep, they’re officially kidnapping her. Bella is grows increasingly panicked, but Edward’s resolve remains, since he knows best. Alice comes in on Bella’s side, trying to get Edward to pull over so they can talk things over, but he still needs to be pissed for… some reason? Maybe he’s afraid it will make him less of a man. I don’t know.

“Edward, let’s just talk this through.”

“You don’t understand,” he roared in frustration. I’d never heard his voice so loud; it was deafening in the confines of the Jeep. The speedometer neared one hundred and fifteen. “He’s a tracker, Alice, did you see that? He’s a tracker!”

Emmett agrees with Alice, whose voice is calm and reasonable. Is Edward done yet? Oop— apparently not.

“He doesn’t know where—”

He interrupted her “How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent into town? His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent’s mouth.” (p. 382)

Ok, whenever you feel like discussing your options….

The car slowed again, more noticeably, and then suddenly we screeched to a stop on the shoulder of the highway. I flew against the harness, and then slammed back into the seat.

“There are no options,” Edward hissed. (p. 383)

Pardon my asking, but is this how women truly want their beloved to respond to danger— with blind, unreasonable rage? I mean, yes, it’s nice to have someone who will charge heedlessly to your rescue, but wouldn’t it be better if he had a little self-control in a crisis situation? Edward’s roaring, ineffectual rampage isn’t helping anybody. Hell, I thought self-control supposed to be his defining trait. This isn’t dramatic or romantic; it’s irritating.

But anyway, it turns out Edward is frustrated because he read James’s mind, and he knows the ugly vampire won’t rest until he drains Bella’s blood. Yes, esteemed readers, turns out the only unattractive vampire in the entire gorram book was the evil one.

It’s like Meyer realized when she reached this chapter, “Oh shit, my terminally shallow protagonist will fall helplessly in love a dangerous predator based on his dazzling looks alone. I gotta make sure none of my antagonists rate better than a C+.” That way, Bella can think with her libido without any unfortunate consequences! Deep down there’s probably a pitiful fantasy world where everything is simple, all evil people are marked by their plainness, and beautiful people are fundamentally good .

But I digress.

Now that they’ve finally pulled over, Alice tries to talk strategy, but it seems Edward still isn’t done throwing a tantrum.

Edward turned on her in fury, his voice a blistering snarl “There— is— no— other— option!” (p. 383)

You get the idea. When Edward finally calms down, the begin to discuss the problem at hand: namely, that if they whisk Bella out of town without delay, they leave Charlie at the mercy of the bloodthirsty vampire. That, and the FBI might come down on their sparkly tails.

To complicate matters, Bella is worried sick about Charlie, and wants to go tell him that she’s leaving town. At first, the vampires refuse to listen to her…

“Does anyone want to hear my plan?”

“No,” Edward growled. (p. 384)

— but eventually they let her explain.

Her plan is basically to go to Charlie’s house, pack her bags, and tell him that she’s leaving, relying on the close presence of the Cullens to ward off a vampire attack. That way, assuming James hears their little row, he will leave Charlie alone, and he, in turn, will not call the police.

Eventually, the three of them, (Bella, Alice, and Emmett) convince Edward to go grudgingly along with the plan. But there are a couple of details left to explain. First, Bella thinks that she should skip town with Alice and Jasper, since Charlie would get suspicious if they both she and Edward went missing at the same time. They’re also betting James will assume that the main couple will stay together, and follow Edward. Why this is the case, since the Hunter is relying a great deal on Bella’s smell, I’m not sure. But, hey, if it means I don’t have to listen to his whining for then next three chapters, then I’m not complaining.

Hang out here for a week—” I saw his expression in the mirror and amended “— a few days. Let Charlie see that you haven’t kidnapped me, and lead this James on a wild-goose chase. Make sure he’s completely off my trail. Then come and meet me?” (p. 387)

Ok, sounds like a plan. But where will they meet?

“Phoenix.” Of course.

Wait, what? That’s a terrible idea.

“No. He’ll hear that’s where you’re going,” he said impatiently.

“And you’ll make it look like that’s a ruse, obviously He’ll know that we know that he’s listening. He’ll never believe I’m actually going where I say I’m going.” (p. 387)

That’s stupid. First off, there are any number of places where the vampire wouldn’t expect you to go (Ablemarle, North Carolina, for example), and even if he’d never expect you to hide in Phoenix, you don’t want to go anywhere where he could track you the old fashioned way.

Here’s a better idea: once you’re confident the vampire isn’t following you, have Alice whip out her cell phone and book three seats on the red-eye flight to Hawaii. Doesn’t matter which airport, so long as you put enough distance between yourself and Forks that James won’t ambush you while you board. A few connection flights later, and you’ll be pretty much untrackable. It’s hard to leave a scent trail when you’re 37,000 feet above ground, and James doesn’t seem like the type who’d hack a computer. Presto, Vampire lost.

But, of course, Alice and Emmett go along with Bella’s oh so cunning strategy, since she’s so speshul and intellijent.

“She’s diabolical,” Emmett Chuckled. (p. 387)

Now, I’ll admit, it’s nice that Bella is being somewhat active in the plot. It’d be better, however, if the plan wasn’t obviously flawed and the vampires didn’t treat her like the second coming of Einstein for thinking of it.

But anyway, they decide to make for Charlie’s house. The chapter is almost over, but not before Edward creates a little more false drama.

“Bella.” Edward’s voice was very soft. Alice and Emmett looked out their windows. “If you let anything happen to yourself— anything at all— I’m holding you personally responsible. Do you understand that?” (p. 388)

Uh… was that supposed to be serious or funny? I can’t tell anymore.

And so, with the protagonist off to confront her father, the chapter ends.

Chapter 19: Goodbyes

As far as the quality of the writing goes, this is one of the worst chapters in the book. We begin with the scene where Bella has to convince her father that she is hates the town of Forks and everything in it. You’d expect this to be very poignant and emotionally moving.

It isn’t.

For Bella, the entire affair is quick, effortless, and nearly guiltless. I don’t know why Meyer chose to neuter the drama like this. Perhaps she didn’t want to distract from Bella and Edward’s romance. Perhaps she fell to the compulsion to protect her Mary Sue self-insert. Or maybe she’s flat-out incapable of writing any emotion besides pretentious lust. But it is telling that Bella’s farewell to Edward, who she will probably see again in a matter of days, is more intense than the scene where she deliberately breaks her father’s heart.

Don’t believe me? Don’t worry. You’ll see what I mean.

The chapter opens with Edward pulling up outside the Swan residence. Bella notices that the lights are on. Charlie was waiting up for her.

My mind was blank as I tried to think of a way to make him let me go. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. (p. 390)

Well, that’s an understatement. And don’t worry, Bella’s uncertainty will have vanished by the time it would have become inconvenient.

Edward informs the party that everything is going according to plan. The tracker hasn’t arrived there yet. For some reason, however, Bella is getting teary eyed over the prospect of leaving Emmet behind. It’s as random as it sounds.

I felt moisture filling up my eyes as I looked at Emmett. I barely knew him, and yet, somehow not knowing when I would see him again after tonight was anguishing. I knew this was just a faint taste of the goodbyes I would have to survive in the next hour, and the thought made the tears begin to spill. (p. 391)

Uh… ok. I guess our protagonist is just that sensitive, though I gotta point out that Bella hasn’t spared a single thought for any of her human friends, who she won’t even get a chance to say goodbye to. I mean, Emmett is cool and all, but she’s right. She barely knows him. It seems that this was mostly just an excuse to get Bella crying.

“I can do this.” I sniffed. My tears had given me inspiration. (p. 391)

It’s nice to see that Bella’s uncertainty and nervousness almost lasted a page.

Anyway, Bella and Edward stop on the porch to whisper how much the love each other in appropriately “low, intense” voices. And then Bella screams for him to go away, and bursts through the front door, sobbing. Charlie tries to ask her what’s wrong, but she storms up to her room and slams the door.

“Bella, are you okay? What’s going on?” His voice was frightened.

“I’m going home,” I shouted, my voice breaking in the perfect spot.

“Did he hurt you?” His tone edged towards anger.

“No!” I shrieked a few octaves higher. I turned to my dresser, and Edward was already there, silently yanking out armfuls of random clothes, which he proceeded to throw to me.

“Did he break up with you?” Charlie was perplexed.(p. 392)

I’m not sure how this man goes from “frightened” to “angry” to “perplexed” over the course of four sentences. I’m also not sure who uses words like “perplexed” in the middle of a big fight with their father.

I broke up with him!” I shouted back, jerking on the zipper of my bag. Edward’s capable hands pushed mine away and zipped it smoothly. He put the strap carefully over my back. (p. 393)

Even in the midst of what should be the most stressful situation of Bella’s life, we’re still preoccupied with Edward’s “capable hands”…

Anyway, Bella storms from the room and runs for the door, but Charlie catches her and demands to know why she broke up with Edward, and why she has to leave. This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. We’re all on the edge of our seats, wondering how the hell she’s going to get out of this.

I could think of only one way to escape, and it involved hurting him so much that I hated myself for even considering it. But I had no time, and I had to keep him safe.

I glared at my father, fresh tears in my eyes for what I was about to do.

“I do like him— that’s the problem. I can’t do this anymore! I can’t put down any roots here! I don’t want ot end up trapped in this stupid, boring town like Mom! I’m not going to make the same dumb mistake she did.” (p. 393)


Now, did that seem difficult? I mean, there was no hesitation, no stammering, no sudden doubt. Yes, Bella acknowledges that she’s being horrible, but that isn’t enough. “I loath myself so very much for hurting my father, but the plot requires it, so… Okay!” Show, don’t tell! Show the toll that this task is taking on Bella. Show her doubt, her fear. Show me her struggle.

I don’t know if you’ve ever hurt somebody that you cared about, but it’s not easy or painless. People can’t just turn on the heartless bitch like a light switch. Again, this is the most stressful moment of Bella’s life. She should be terrified, clumsy, struggling each moment with the knowledge that if she fails to shatter her father’s heart, they will both die horrible deaths.

Anxiety, fear, and self-doubt are all very powerful emotions. There’s a physical element, the rapid heartbeat, dry mouth, and quivering knees. The ability to articulate complete sentences usually goes to hell. A girl who is supposed to be selfless, compassionate, and endearing should have more trouble intentionally hurting someone she cares about. That doesn’t mean that she can’t do it, but there should be some sort of internal conflict, and it damn well better be written convincingly.

But wait, this scene isn’t over yet. Hurt as he may be, Charlie isn’t about to let his daughter leave in the middle of the night and drive across four states to an empty house. He asks her to wait a week, at the very least, so that she’ll be able to meet Renee in Phoenix. This catches Bella off guard, so she pulls out the big guns, her last resort, the ultimate emotional crotch-shot.

He was too close, one hand extended towards me, his face dazed. I couldn’t lose any more time arguing with him. I was going to have to hurt him further.

“Just let go of me, Charlie.” I repeated my mother’s last words as she’s walked out this same door so many years ago. I said them as angrily as I could manage, and I threw the door open. “It didn’t work out, okay? I really, really hate Forks!”

My cruel words did their job— Charlie stayed frozen on the doorstep, stunned, while I ran into the night. I was hideously frightened of the empty yard. I ran wildly for the truck, visualizing a dark shadow behind me. (p. 394)

I don’t have the words. Look at how she just decides, “I was going to have to hurt him further,” like it’s nothing. I mean, picture yourself in this situation. You are intentionally hurting somebody you love in the most brutal way you know, because anything less would put him in mortal danger. You don’t know whether you’ll live to see him again, and you don’t know whether he’ll forgive you if you do. Would that be easy for you?

The sad part is that Meyer had a legitimately good idea here. This scene had the potential to be one of the hardest hitting in the book. It should have tugged at the heartstrings, and made the reader care whether or not our piddling protagonist comes out of the plot alive. It could have made this story worth taking seriously, which is no small task, considering that Bella’s only source of suffering so far has been the fact that her boyfriend is substantially prettier than her.

And yet, Meyer chooses to understate it. making it merely another plot point. Bella just goes through the motions without a hitch, and the instant she’s out the door, the interpersonal drama is all but forgotten.

If you’ll forgive my indulgence, here is my take on what these last three paragraphs could have been:

He was too close, reaching for me, hardly daring to smile. He wanted to make everything better, and I was exhausted from the shouting and the crying. I had to get out of there now, or I wouldn’t have the strength. We would die because I couldn’t hurt him enough. My mouth was dry, hung open, but no words came out. He was too close to me. There was only one option left. I focused all of my energy on making the words come out, and not thinking about how much they would hurt.

“Just let me go, Charlie,” I said as clearly and angrily as I could. Those were the words my mother had said as she’d walked out this same door so many years ago. He had spent the past sixteen years getting over that moment, and I was forcing him to relive it.

Of course it worked— Charlie stayed frozen, devastated, while I ran. I couldn’t bear to stand there any longer, above the ruins of his happiness. The dark, empty yard felt like a refuge, though I know at any moment the tracker could swoop down and carry me away. I imagined Charlie looking out the front door, to find only my bag. Would he ever forgive me? Would he forgive himself if he never saw me again?

I’m done with this.

Moving on, Bella makes it to her truck safely. Edward informs her that James heard the last of their argument and decided to leave Charlie alone. They drive away in truck, with Alice following in her Jeep. Emmet jumps into the truck (freaking Bella out in the process).

And then Edward begins to joke about what Bella just said to Charlie. I really wish I wasn’t serious.

“I didn’t realize you were so tired of small-town life,” he said conversationally, and I know he was trying to distract me. “It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well— especially recently. Maybe I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you.”

“I wasn’t being nice,” I confessed, ignoring his attempt at diversion, looking down at my knees. “That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt.” (p. 396)

Does this girl feel no remorse? I mean, there are a multitude of emotions that Bella should be feeling right now. Guilt, for hurting her father. Fear that she may not live, or that she may not be forgiven. Anger for having her life completely uprooted and being forced to such cruelty. Show something more intense! No emotionally healthy person could get over something like that so quickly.

Oh, right… she’s a sociopath.

Anyway Edward assures Bella that her father will forgive her, and everything will be all right in the end. And then the issue is all but forgotten. In other words, Meyer is pushing legitimately powerful drama out of the way, so we can have more of this:

“But it won’t be all right if I’m not with you,” I whispered.

“We’ll be together again in a few days,” he said, tightening his arm around me. (p. 397)

Excuse me while I cry…

Well… moving right along.

They drive to the Cullen’s house, and on the way Edward explains why the hell this tracker vampire is so interested in Bella particularly, since the fact that she’s a super special girl with magical blood and mind powers evidently wouldn’t be enough. Apparently, James has devoted his entire undeath to the hunt, and lives for its challenge and thrill. What could be more challenging or thrilling than fighting your way through a family of vampires to get your prize? Now that he’s started, he’s not likely to stop.

Well, it’s a better than any of the other characters’ motives for stalking Bella.

There’s a little more drama about Bella being worried about Edward, who will stay behind to fight the bad vampires. None of it is particularly interesting. Bella gets manhandled by Emmett.

Emmett had my door open before the truck was stopped; he pulled my out of the seat, tucked me like a football into his vast chest, and ran me through the door. (p. 399)

It’s a fake, no, it’s a quarterback sneak! He leaves the defenders in the dust! Touchdown! Emmett spikes the ball into the inzone and… oh dear. I hope the astro-turf will survive being pressure washed.

It turns out that Laurent is waiting for them at the Cullens’ house. And Laurent explains the situation to us again.

I’m sorry,” he answered. “I was afraid, when your boy there defended her, that it would set him off.”

“Can you stop him?”

Laurent shook his head. “Nothing stops James when he gets started. (p. 399)

Didn’t Edward tell us exactly the same thing two pages ago? Anyway, Laurent goes on to describe how “absolutely lethal” James is. He seems to be scared shitless of the guy, and is refusing to fight against him, even though he would make it an eight-on-two fight.

Don’t underestimate James. He’s got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He’s every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won’t come at you head on… I’m sorry for what’s been unleashed here. (p. 400)

He won’t come at you head on? I sense some foreshadowing.

Anyway, Laurent leaves, and the Cullens prepare for battle. The plan is to have Bella spirited south by Alice and Jasper, while the rest go and head off the tracker. Part of this involves one of the Cullen ladies switching clothes with Bella to confuse the scents. Rosalie refuses because she’s blond and hateful, but Esme agrees. Bella gets manhandled again (though by a woman this time).

Esme was at my side in half a heartbeat, swinging me up easily into her arms, and dashing up the stairs before I could gasp in shock. (p. 401)

Hey, this wasn’t in the movies! They clearly need to hire a new director, one who will respect the source material and let us see Kristen Stewart be tossed around like a football. Anything less would an insult to this magnificent work of literature.

Esme then forceably undresses Bella. Alice joins them a few seconds later to help Bella redress, and once their clothes have been swapped, the two vampire ladies carry Bella back down the stairs…. Okay, I’m just going to leave it. But once they get downstairs, Carlisle give them all cell phones, and Alice uses her foresight to determine that the plan will work perfectly.

Wow. That’s… really convenient.

Of course, before they leave, Bella and Edward have to have one more intense physical moment. Though, in truth, I don’t know how anything that includes the sentence, “For the shortest second, his lips were icy and hard against mine,” could possibly be considered erotic. I’ll spare you, gentle reader, description number 297 of Edward’s smoldering eyes.

Finally, after a storm of sweet nothings, our romantic leads pull themselves apart. The groups then depart, leaving Bella with Alice and Jasper. Once they get the call confirming that the James and Victoria are accounted for, they leave as well.

I heard nothing, but then Alice stepped through the front door and came towards me with her arms held out.

“May I?” she asked.

“You’re the first one to ask permission.” I smiled wryly.

She lifted me in her slender arms as easily as Emmett had, shielding me protectively, and then we flew out the door, leaving the lights on behind us. (p. 404)

And with that last beautiful bit of lesbian subtext, the chapter comes to a close. I’m Artimaeus, and this it Twilight: Abridged and Annotated.

Tagged as:


  1. leafbreeze on 9 August 2010, 09:56 said:

    Here’s some news, kids!
    Kidnapping is totally romantic. It’s perfectly okay to let yourself get tossed around in the back of a car by two men. It just means they love you, and is not abusive in the slightest

  2. swenson on 9 August 2010, 10:46 said:

    Yeah, now that I think about it, her plan was really dumb. An ordinary human would have no trouble whatsoever guessing that a possible place to go would be her former home, why would it be any trouble for a super-smart-super-awesome-super-tracking-ness vampire to work it out, even without his super-awesome-super-tracking-ness powers?!

  3. dragonarya on 9 August 2010, 12:01 said:

    That bit where Bella has to hurt her father has so much wasted potential. ARGH! There’s nothing that annoys me as much as wasted potential, whether it be a book, movie, anime, whatever! It just goes to show that whoever wrote it had a good idea but was so incompetant they couldn’t eve use it properly!

    …but then, we already knew that.

  4. Snow White Queen on 9 August 2010, 14:05 said:

    Wouldn’t the first thing they want to take care of be Bella’s scent? I mean, if you can still smell her, then there’s no point in doing anything else because James can still track her down no matter how far you go.

    But great spork, Artimaeus, like always. How many chapters are left in this monstrosity? And secondly, are you going to do New Moon?

  5. Romantic Vampire Lover on 9 August 2010, 15:09 said:

    Oh, right… she’s a sociopath.

    Ah, the truth comes out at last! Thanks for this, Arty. :D

  6. lookingforme on 9 August 2010, 17:13 said:

    I have to say, Arty, when you wrote about how difficult it is to hurt someone you love, I felt more of an emotional pull than when reading Bella’s pathetic excuse of an argument with Charlie.

    I forgotten why this book failed so hard.

  7. Danielle on 9 August 2010, 20:20 said:

    Twilight: The eternal, creepy romance between a sociopath and an undead pedophile! Once again, I admire your courage in wading through this crap, Arty.

  8. fffan on 10 August 2010, 04:13 said:

    I always wondered why they didn’t just ship Bella off to Antartica or something…

  9. Artimaeus on 10 August 2010, 12:17 said:

    How many chapters are left in this monstrosity?

    Five, I think, plus an epilogue, and most of those chapters are fairly short.

    And secondly, are you going to do New Moon?

    Good god, not if there’s any possible way for me to avoid it.

  10. Steph (what is left) on 10 August 2010, 20:41 said:

    Artimaeus, I love you for putting this all in perspective, ESPECIALLY chapter 19. It reads much creepier when you do it.

  11. Dominique on 11 August 2010, 04:42 said:

    I have to agree about the whole Charlie bit. It could have been so deep and poignant, but instead it’s just another roadblock to Belward’s shoddy romance. Seriously, Meyer spends more words on yet another “Edward is hot” scene than she does on what should be the most heartbreaking tableau in the entire book! How did this woman ever get a degree, in ENGLISH of all things?!