Virgil

Unfortunately for many, the sci-fi genre has been explored from almost every angle imaginable. While I won’t press the idea of one series be better over another, almost everyone can agree on the bests. The following should be a good start up to your civilization.

History

History for any civilization is important. If you want your world to be believable and realistic, plot out a basic history for each ‘race’. If you are dealing mostly with space, start from the time they were able to enter space freely. Since history repeats itself, feel free to take some events from our past. Don’t make a glaringly obvious rip-off of World War II or another well known event, but general ideas work well.

Plot out your history, and show how everyone interacts and deals with each other. If you are doing a continuation of Earth, be sure to link what is happening now to what happens in your story.

Culture

While this seems to be a minor thing for sci-fi stories, it make a big difference in totally other surroundings. Culture doesn’t have to be very obvious, it is more of the difference between separated groups of people. Be sure to have each culture recognizable quickly, so you can get on with your story.

Technology

The cornerstone of your sci-fi world, it sets apart the genre from all else. The technology is only limited by your imagination, and the laws of physics. When inventing something for your story, make sure it is actually feasible, even if today it’s not possible. Depending on how your characters fit into a story, they might know more or less about certain things. When a reader sees something happening, make sure they say “I can see this happening someday.” Make sure your technology has bugs or glitches in it. Technology today sometimes never works the way we need it to, so mimic this natural failing. Remember: What can go wrong, will go wrong.

Make your new technologies different and interesting, and be sure they all have a purpose. Also think about: Who makes the technology, the government or private corporations? The difference is immense. Historically, a government controlled technology (like an F-16 jet) is usually restricted to government use. If it is, are there commercial models available? How do they differ? While it is a lot of work to go through, it adds a realism aspect that shows. If something is made commercially, it breaks it down further: Does only one corporation manufacture it? If not, how many more? Can this stuff be found lying around on the ground, or does it cost an arm and a leg? These factors shape your civilization, and doesn’t let the reader become uncertain and assume something different than what you had planned.

Depending on your story, futuristic weapons are a big thing. Are bullets still used, or laser weaponry easily manufactured? Does everyone have access to weapons? If not, who does? All these questions you should readily be able to answer. While it doesn’t have to necessarily be completely explained in the story, you can mention it offhand and be sure you didn’t just make it up.

Super Technology

Mind reading, teleportation, microchips inside people, holograms, AI, etc.

If handled carefully, these can make your story completely awesome. If you plan to have one or more of these technologies, make sure they have restrictions and drawbacks. Maybe teleportation uses so much energy, it used very sparingly. AI can only last for so long, that sort of thing. Putting in drawbacks does suck, it makes your world feel real. Nothing is perfect, and neither should your world. Have glitches where odd things happen, and it connects with the reader. Have old people grumble about the technology, complaining they can’t use it and/or scared of it. (Nothing against elderly people, it will happen to me someday) Doing these well adds a uniqueness to your story.

Religion

Without offending anyone, I’ll be direct. As technology progresses, religion diminishes. In the medieval and Renaissance era, religion played a central role for nearly everyone. While it was merged more into the government at the time, it still applies. As technology advances, it uncovers answers to questions only religion could answer. That is the basic idea of religion, in a sense. Depending on how advanced your new civilization is should dictate how your religion should stand. If it is in the near future, it shouldn’t be much different than today. But if you’ve progressed hundreds or thousands of years, religion should be evolved like everyone else. Depending on how technological your people are will govern their reliance on religion and faith. If you do create or continue a religion, be sure it is realistic, as if it could actually happen. Don’t progress backwards (unless you have a seriously good reason) into animalism or Paganism ideas. While a strong church can be good for your story and definitely connect with your reader, the church and faith should still be as advanced as everyone else.

If you want to have a strong superstitious presence, have some strange (by the standards of your story) phenomenon occur, or rituals to ward them away.

Money and Economy

Another aspect that our own history has a wealth of ideas for you to use. Money should be realistic in time with your civilization. If it is the near future, coins may be realistic because over use of paper has destroyed trees. Progressing further along, people have a chip with their entire identity and assets embedded in their finger, and all they do is swipe at a scanner. Consider ever-present problems like inflation and a poor – middle – wealthy struggle. Also think: “Who controls the money, and how do they do it?” These should just be ideas in the back of your head, economics bores your readers quickly. Unless your character is a bank manager.

Also decide what type of economy yours will be, which also should match your government type. Free Market, Capitalism, Socialism… I can’t think of any more. Examine countries today and see how they function, or look at ones in the past. See the mistakes some have made and apply the same things to your civilization.

Politics and Government

Politics should be something left to the background unless it takes a role. Don’t spend time figuring out the legal system unless your character deals with it. If a election comes up, then take some time to figure out how things work.

Government is something that everyone connects with. While you should figure out some things, like if your civilization is a democracy, republic, monarchy/dictatorship, or militaristic. Note that even all modern governments can never be completely under one category. Quickly look at the differences between all of them and figure out what will be yours.

P.S. I like the new look Sly.

Comment [4]

This is Peter’s Evil Overlord List, and makes a mockery of all the dumb things villains and antagonists do. While hopefully no one will do this in their story, it’s still a good laugh.

Excerpt:

When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he’s my trusted lieutenant.

If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

If my advisors ask “Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?”, I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they’d better save my life again.

I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. “Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse.” Instead it will be more along the lines of “Push the button.”

I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

There are lot’s more, so take a look. After the NaNoWriMo shenanigans, I hope to do a spoof comedy on Inheritance Cycle and the whole stereotypical fantasy genre. An evil villain has done everything right. He’s immortal and all powerful, and the assassination attempts have stopped centuries ago. But now he wants out, and he needs to somehow bring up a ‘callow youth’ to destroy him.

Comment [14]

Hopefully I can limit this article to the problems with Bella as a character, but since the story is from her point of view, it will approach on the problems of Twilight. Note, I’ll only be using Twilight as an example, there is no way I’m reading all four books, I’m not a god. If I were a god, I surely would not be reading these books. And who would want to be a god? All that whining and praying…

Well. Let’s bring Twilight to a very, very basic level. Bella falls in love with Edward, who in turn falls in love with her, but is fighting the urge to drink her blood and resist her ‘scent.’ So, Bella is more like an object for Edward to be troubled over, and the book is told from her point of view. It might as well been a camera set on the ‘love Edward’ setting.

Bella is a Sue. A really, really bad Sue. The author even admits that Bella is based on herself. So, being nice, Bella is an insert. Being mean, Bella is one of the worst Mary Sue’s of all time.

Personality (or lack thereof) is one of the major flaws of the book. Bella is nothing, practically an empty vessel. The story is told so plainly, and when adjectives are used, they’re describing how she was cooking, or those ‘smoldering topaz eyes.’ While her life pre-Edward is supposed to be dull and rather boring, it can still have some interesting parts, especially if it’s shown through her eyes. No, being clumsy isn’t personality, not one bit. Everyone is clumsy at some point, some are just more so than others. Being a klutz makes her ‘endearing’ to the other boys at the school, and it’s somehow supposed to pass as a flaw? It’s like saying Edward’s handwriting (which is godly, of course) is bad, and it makes him realistic. Bella’s ‘normal’ attributes also make Edward more god-like, and that desirable man.

The other boys at school. Stereotypes, in essence. They ‘fawn’ over her, another fact the author mentions happened to her when she got to college. The guys are actually kinda nice in their own way, they walk Bella to her classes, offer to help her study, and so forth. She just blows it off and is disdainful at their courting attempts. She even is a brat to Edward for a moment, but then notices those perfect eyes. While her being scornful can be attributed as personality, it’s not befitting of a Sue. Soon after falling (if you want to call it that) for Edward, she becomes more normal around them.

The girls at school are mostly stereotypical as well, and are almost all foils to Bella, to further increase her perfect status. All of them are jealous of her relationship with Edward once it becomes public, which (somehow) raises her staus even further, because she got the angel guy that no one else can.

While the story is supposed to be a take on Romeo and Juliet, two lovers who eventually destroy each other, the Sue-ism ruins what made Romeo and Juliet good – the fact that it was a tragedy. They died. The most that comes out of it is their infatuation with each other, and unfortunately we are stuck with Bella’s point of view. Sculpted face, windswept hair, topaz eyes, sleep gas for breath. If it was mentioned once or twice to remind the reader that this guy looks really good, things might have been okay. But, unfortunately, it happens every time they see each other. It starts descending into icky purple prose as well, which breaks up an already slow paragraph.

Anyways, Bella has a freakishly abnormal infatuation with a stalker 103-year-old virgin. She lacks personality, and simply can’t think for herself. She does whatever ‘sculpted Edward’ tells her to, and she’s glad to do it. Worse, many intelligent teenage girls (some I know, and much smarter than I am) love the book, because they can ‘relate’ to Bella. No one can possibly relate to Bella. Even if you’ve only lived a year of your life you’d have more personality. Personally, I would much like Edward’s view of things, because he seems to have some flaws hinted at, but they got lost among the wastelands of purple prose. Even then, it will be all ‘scent’ this and ‘scent’ that. Maybe not.

I’m sorry I could not go more in depth, I don’t have a copy of Twilight lying around, and so some points might be wrong.

Comment [43]

A simple chart to make sure you’re on par. Note, since each day is 1666 2/3 of a word, I’ll round up to 1667.

November 1 – 1667 words
Day 2 – 3334
Day 3 – 5001
Day 4 – 6668
Day 5 – 8335
Day 6 – 10002
Day 7 – 11669
Day 8 – 13336
Day 9 – 15003
Day 10 – 16670
Day 11 – 18337
Day 12 – 20004
Day 13 – 21671
Day 14 – 23338
Day 15 – 25005
Day 16 – 26672
Day 17 – 28339
Day 18 – 30006
Day 19 – 31673
Day 20 – 33340
Day 21 – 35007
Day 22 – 36674
Day 23 – 38341
Day 24 – 40008
Day 25 – 41675
Day 26 – 43342
Day 27 – 45009
Day 28 – 46676
Day 29 – 48343
Day 30 – 50010

Comment [17]

These points are the ones Paolini could have done away with in Brisingr. They add little to nothing to the story, frustrating readers, even fans of the series. Presenting…

Furry Elves

The furry elves are the ones who finally show up to protect Eragon. You’d think that being the most powerful creatures in the world, you could travel long distances over shorter amounts of time, but that is another argument for another day. The furry elf shows up with his troupe, and all the women start fainting.

I read Brisingr when I still somewhat liked the Inheritance Cycle, and even then I failed to see the point of the elves being appealing to women. You might have thought Islanzadi would have foreseen the implications of sending him, but apparently not. Maybe he was the strongest spellcaster they could find in time. The point being, the whole ‘musk’ of the elves does nothing to the story. It’s filler. Maybe Paolini doesn’t understand the concept that a shorter book is better than a longer one. Well, he doesn’t. He himself has said that he likes longer books, but this artificial lengthening is sickening.

Dwarven Politics

Alright. Politics can be boring. Rituals can be dragged on forever. This does not mean they have to. It would be interesting to see how the dwarves elect their new king, and to see who would be bestowed the title. We aren’t surprised who becomes king, but I don’t think Paolini meant it to be a plot twist anyways. Now, in the first part of Eragon’s stay in Tronjheim, we are told how the dwarves elect their king. Fine. But then we have to sit through several grueling chapters of them actually doing it. The entire section could have been done in one chapter. Eragon walks in, they explain things, he sits through it for a little bit so we are shown instead of told, then Eragon gets attacked, and blam! We find out who is king. A small visit to the grieving mother instead of a chapter.

Sword-making

This section I was a little eager going into. It would be cool, Eragon finally gets his own sword, and blah blah blah. But, we still get dragged down with huge sections of precisely how the metal is worked, where it is folded, the list goes on. Instead of all the time devoted to his sword, a few paragraphs is all that was needed.

Also, when Eragon says ‘Brisingr’, his sword lights up. Now, under normal circumstances, this is really cool. But, with all the other pressing problems found in Brisingr and Inheritance, it’s not needed. Paolini himself mentions he only put it in because his father thought it was cool, and he agreed with him. But now that he put it in, he threw on a rather sloppily constructed solution as to why the sword does that, and it detracts from it as a whole. If Eragon had said ‘Brisingr’, casting magic to light up the sword on fire, same effect, and nothing would have changed. But now Paolini has added another quirk to his already flawed magic system, and another trait to Eragon’s growing Stu list.

Roran’s Wedding

Roran’s wedding also had the potential to be interesting. Paolini really could have shown how different his humans are from everyone else, which were defined by living in Alagaesia. All we got was a thankfully short, boring ritual. And Paolini claiming to have started the tradition using rings in Alagaesia. It seems his characters do nothing for themselves.

Tenga

Many, many people have wondered what the purpose of Tenga is. At first glance, it seems like the worst non sequitur of all time. Later we find out that Angela knows who he is. There is speculation that this is the ‘god’ Eragon meets. This has potential to be right, but Eragon also meets a god during Orik’s crowning ceremony. Now, clearly Paolini is setting up something for the fourth book, but he has done it so sloppily and obvious, everyone can see through it. It will ruin a surprise later in the fourth book. Paolini should have introduced Tenga in the first Eragon, or in the beginning of the fourth book. Otherwise, it has no discernible meaning for this book, and thus, detracts from it.

Walking… walking… walking…

A large amount of time is spent walking. Eragon walks back from Helgrind, then walks to Tronjheim, and so on. When the reader gets to these dreadfully slow sections of the book, one thing becomes apparent almost immediately. Paolini doesn’t care. He wants to get to the action as quickly as possible. He still writes in his infamous purple prose, but in a rush. He’ll then come back in and add pointless bits of action. A random slaughter of Imperial soldiers, a story told by an Urgal, whatever. These bits of info add nothing at all to the story, so why are they even there? I’d like to know too. If I may be forward enough to tell Paolini what he should have done, take out all the unnecessary traveling sections. Just make a paragraph or two so some time passes, and then get on with your story.

These are things I think could have been shorter or done away with entirely. If you have another, let me know and I’ll add it in.

Comment [36]

Okay, this was supposed to be finalized ages ago, but other things got in the way.

Not everyone will agree with me in the following, but that’s the point. We can only abuse Inheritance and Twilight so far, and so hopefully I can spark some good discussions from people.

Anyway, a quick thing on character-driven plots and story-driven plots (from here on, CD and SD). CD plots are where characters are well built, functioning people with motives and personalities. They react realistically to situations and feel like real people. SD plots are where characters become slaves to a plot, doing and feeling whatever the author thinks is appropriate. These characters are one dimensional exposition-spouting robots, who can only display emotion or reason at the author’s command.

Personally, I think CD plots are always better. This is a sweeping generalization, but that’s why this article exists. What we think of as the quintessential storyline is a by-product of what should be well-done CD actions.

Onto the meat of the topic. Don’t think of plots as a series of linear events, but rather a series of action and consequence from each of the characters. When a character does something (a product of his motive), all the other characters should react accordingly, in proportion to their motives and personalities.

Those reactions are then followed by more reactions from other well-defined characters, and thus, plot is formed. While you could break it down into a series of events, you get even further into the nuts and bolts of the story when considering the characters who influenced those events. With the possible exception of weather (and even that may have its own personality), everything is subject to this reactionary model. Even not reacting is a reaction, as long as it fits in with the character.

To me, that is how good stories are defined. People with varying amounts of power or control will react and those consequences will cause other reactions, until the climax is reached and the story told is finished. The character’s reactions become the ‘events’ that you would previously list as a story in a linear fashion.

Oh, hold on. This whole shenanigans started out as a discussion between SWQ and I. Her views are that you cannot completely discount story or important elements of a SD plot. Hopefully the above shows that most story elements are ultimately results of the characters actions, which I reduce to CD actions. However, you’re more than welcome to disagree, and please provide examples when you do.

Also, Steph has promised a counter article to the whole CD argument in general, and has mentioned that you can reduce any story down to character driven, by my reasoning of it. It’s true, but the difference is how the characters are written to make those decisions. It has to be clear to the reader that the characters make the decisions themselves, based on motives, personalities, and whatever else that affects their actions. Plots become SD when characters make decisions that don’t fit with what seems normal (for them), because the writer has a specific plot point to happen later.

In hindsight, it’s much easier just to read that last paragraph.

Comment [54]

Deus Ex Machina (day-us ex mack-eena) is when a tangled or unsolvable plot is solved through outside forces through no action by the protagonists. You have a crummy ending and you’ve written yourself into a hole. This hole has slanted walls made of ice and your shoddy storytelling has rubbed oil into your hands.

So now if you simply made the gods favor the hero, and everything was all happy and such. Or some magical wizard comes into play with a new magic power that hasn’t been used in eons to save the day, and it conveniently fits your predicament. This ending sucked. And will suck no matter how you skew it. It tells the reader they wasted their time going through the story, and you obviously couldn’t come up with an ending worthy enough.

As SlyShy aptly puts it:

If your protagonists are suddenly saved by the cavalry charging over the hill to save them this is not Deus Ex Machina if: your characters did a whole lot of work to win over the cavalry to their side earlier in the story, or they arranged scouting along their path so the cavalry would meet them deliberately, or anything as long as your characters worked. Deus Ex Machina is when this previously unmentioned group of shining knights emerges over the horizon to vanquish the evil that was troubling you.

Deus Ex Machina doesn’t necessarily have to be in the end. It can be something that eliminates the flaws of a character, flaws that would render him incapable in the climactic ending. This is more attached to Mary Sue-ism, but is still something you should watch out for. Your character should have flaws throughout the story.

I’ll use the Epistler and Paolini as an example here: In the beginning of Eldest, Eragon seems more like realistic person. He has an incurable scar on his back, which makes him have seizures daily, which leave him weak and helpless. He begins to doubt himself quite frequently. While this is part of his selfish whining, it also shows more of Eragon as a person with flaws.

But of course, Eragon is soon magically cured by the ‘power of the dragons’ in the “Deus ex Machina Ceremony” noted by the Fifth Epistle. So now, Eragon is magically healed, and more powerful and even beautiful than before. Now, you might feel sympathy for Eragon because he endured so much torment, but that’s if you really care for Eragon.

The Blood-Oath Celebration acts as Deus Ex Machina, of sorts. If Eragon had actually worked for it, and learned to deal with the pain or even possibly discover a cure, things might be more believable. Then he could have become stronger and more magically powerful, and be at the same status he is right now.

So, on to avoiding Deus Ex Machina. You can avoid having to use it by not writing large holes into your plot that you can’t cover. While adding an element of mystery can enrich a story, if you don’t come up with a plausible solution, you’ve wasted your time. If you need your tangled plot to be solved miraculously, hint at the existence of the solution earlier in the story. If your hint is memorable or too close to the ending, the reader will see what’s coming. But when it does happen, the reader will be able to accept it because he remembers seeing it earlier.

“It was the right thing to do.” Rarely do people ever do things on a whim, especially if it doesn’t give anything in return. If you have unexpected persons saving the day, they had better had a good reason. If you create side characters with one purpose to save the day, they’ll have no reason to be in the story than to simply save the plot. When you set them up to save it, the reader will be able to tell what is coming.

Another thing that bugs people about Inheritance is the magic system written into it. Many times a lot of things could be done with the use of magic. Paolini created magical stuff to spur the story and plot, then forgot about them. Feeble and vague excuses are given, and you never hear about them again. So if your characters are stuck doing things the hard way, but the reader can simply see the easier way out, take it. It makes your characters more realistic. If you have your characters do things the way you want them, the storyline will feel forced and as if you’re watching a ventriloquist act. All humans are lazy by nature, and no one willingly does hard work for no reason whatsoever.

Don’t use destiny or fate to give your protagonists special powers in the ending. He/she can get powers throughout the plot, and if they use it to defeat the villain, then it’s fine. Prophecies, if given at/near the beginning, do not fall under a Deus Ex Machina. If you keep hinting at a prophecy throughout the plot, and then you finally reveal what it says near the end and it fixes the problems… is technically not Deus Ex Machina. But it will have the same feeling to it.

Oh, the weather. How unpredictable. No one, could ever see what exactly was about to happen with the Earth, so it’s the perfect thing! While my character is in the inescapable jail atop Mt. Terror on the island Evil, surrounded by the waters of Nasty Editors Who Don’t Accept Your Manuscripts, I’ll have an earthquake crack a wall into the jail, the protagonist find a snowboard in the guard’s office, so he can snowboard down the mountain, and a tidal wave so he can surf to the safety of his beloved.

Weather is unpredictable, and most of us complain about it constantly. Don’t use it to save everyone in the nick of time. In fact, it seems more realistic if the weather works against your protagonists. You truly notice the weather if it’s really bad and giving you problems, or it’s suddenly gone the opposite from the day before. If you have to have weather play a part, make it so slight it just barely gives the protagonist the upper hand. He might be modest enough to acknowledge it wasn’t all him.

If you do get into a corner, let things happen without using Deus Ex Machina. If your main character dies, let him die, it will feels more natural, and you won’t break any of the rules to your story. Of course, if your main character does die, and you can’t possibly allow that to happen, you might consider putting him through the Mary Sue Litmus Test to be sure you haven’t got a self-insert running around. When planning your story, consider the possibility of your character(s) dying, and how other characters react. This can be a great opportunity to build the personality of the deceased and the living. If the actions of your characters surprise and turn in different ways, expect the reader to be equally, if not more surprised than you are.

Deus Ex Machina can be used, but it works better in a comedic or satirical setting, and shouldn’t be used for a dramatic effect. Even here, it shouldn’t be totally random, but possibly have tie-ins to the plot, which has ample room for comedy.

The best solution for Deus Ex Machina is to have characters act for themselves. Examine what decisions they would make, and let them make it. If they choose the wrong one, they will suffer for it. If they choose the right one, they are a true hero because of themselves, not by something random or depending on other people or events.

P.S. In the end of Dodgeball, when they win and they get the chest with the cash inside, the chest is labeled ‘Deus Ex Machina’.

P.P.S. Thanks to SlyShy, SubStandardDeviation, and Carbon Copy for some points / corrections I missed.

Comment [25]

“Show, don’t tell.” The magical three words than can literally transform your writing from mildly interesting to engaging. Show, don’t tell, means to show us what is happening in your story, rather than simply telling the reader what is going on. By showing, your reader can visualize the scene easier, and they feel like an active participant.

Show, don’t Tell

James was trying to be serious, but Sara was too happy to hear him.

Here, the basic point is given, with simple emotions.

James scowled at Sara, and she laughed and danced around him.

Same emotions, but the reader is shown how the characters feel through their actions. Also another way to show instead of tell is when describing someone. No one in their right mind will look at someone and describe their emotions. Unless that’s how they act, then have them say it, which is still showing.

Victor wore a long, black cloak, with a silver fastening.

Simple description, we see a mental image of the man in the cloak with silver fastenings.

Victor unhooked the silver fastenings from his long black coat, letting it fall to the ground.

Same mental image, but shown through action. You can describe your characters the same way you did before, but without stopping the flow of the scene. By showing what is going on and describing the scene in the action, you’ll avoid large info dumps and keep the flow of the story.

When showing instead of telling, you can have more subtlety and variety in the actions of your characters, and making them unique.

She had an idea.

Or:

She looked up suddenly, and her face brightened.

She jumped up, and shouted, “Yes!”

We can see that the last two actions are done by different people, yet they still convey the same actions.

Purple Prose

Purple prose is that nasty, icky feeling when you start showing too much. In fact, purple prose does the exact opposite of what regular showing does, purple prose slows down the reader, while showing keeps normally things moving nicely. I’ll use Eldest as a reference here.

As they passed between the trees, the canopy overhead plunged them into velvet darkness, except where fragments of moonlight gleamed through chinks in the shell of overlapping leaves.

It grew dark as they entered the forest, and the moonlight shone through the leaves overhead.

Same image given, but the second version is nearly half as long. I didn’t use the words velvet, canopy, fragments, chinks, shell, or overlapping. Are these words necessary? No. They don’t have anything to do with the plot of the story, and they don’t add anything to the existing scene. But, nevertheless, they are there, and it takes a while to read through the sentence. Worse, it forces the reader to stop and think, piecing together the image from all the unnecessary adjectives thrown in. Someone once said, ‘words should be invisible’, meaning the reader should understand them the second his or her eyes examine them, and move on.

Now, this isn’t saying describing things or simply telling a quick scene shouldn’t be used at all. When setting a scene, be sure to get all the important stuff in for character, plot, and whatever else. If it’s unimportant, leave it out. Simple. When telling, you’ll need a fine balance. A quick burst of telling here or there won’t hurt anyone, and in certain situations it’s unavoidable. But your reader would like to be included in the shenanigans of your tale most of the time.

Comment [12]

The commander gazed at the fighter, as if gauging its strengths and weaknesses.

There isn’t a soft way to introduce this, so I’ll just dive in. ‘As if’ is not a narrative tool, it is a tool to describe the perspective of a character. In the simple situation above, one can tell the commander is actually gauging the fighter’s strengths and weaknesses. So there isn’t a point in having the ‘as if’, it breaks flow and causes some confusion. This reads better:

The commander gazed at the fighter, gauging its strengths and weaknesses.

Now everything is cleared up, and we know what the commander is doing.

There is, however, very appropriate usage of ‘as if’. Most situations involve dramatic irony, where the audience knows something the characters don’t. The ‘as if’ is used to describe what the POV character is assuming about another character. Now the audience knows what is going on in both characters’ minds. If the audience is not supposed to know, then the ‘as if’ blows the subtlety, and the point is for us to find out later.

Otherwise, that’s it. It’s simple, but I do see authors using it improperly, and it gets annoying at times.

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Please note, the method mentioned here is the one I find the simplest. Many writers say outlines stifle creativity, and you can’t do what you really want. Many of them have already published and made a name for themselves. If you’re looking at this site, most likely you’ve only written casually.

Putting in things for the sake of cool (cough Inheritance) can really mess up your story. While for the time it may be cool, later on you’ll have to change something, and the really totally super mega awesome ending you cooked up is worthless.

You could also argue that if your characters want to do something different than what you planned, you should let them. While this can make for the most interesting stories, only do it if you’ve really truly made your character(s) a realistic person. If you’re confident with your writing abilities and your characters, letting them do what they want should be fine, especially if your world can compensate. Hopefully you’ve created your characters to fit your story and subsequently your outline, so it might not be a problem.

So now you have your idea. You’ve thought about it for a while, and you’re fairly sure this is what you want to do. Now you want to write a story. While no one method works for everyone, an outline is generally a good idea. Here you can keep your story in check, and avoid potential plot holes.

Outlines don’t have to be the formal (I, II, III; A, B, C; 1, 2, 3) format. This way can keep very good track of your ideas, but it might be too much work for casual use. If you prefer it, then by all means go ahead.

I believe the best way to start your outline is to simply write out your story in large, vague, blobs. Make bulletins or dashes, and mark down the important points of your story in a long list. Here you can quickly read through and see your problems. Avoid using anything too specific yet.

Ex.

- Kevin wakes up in a spider’s web, finds a dagger, and kills the spider as it approaches to devour its prey

- He finds the exit to the cave, and a passing wizard tells him his father was the ultra-evil Lord Veeshan

- Shocked, Kevin hikes down the mountain, all the while reasserting his image of his father

- At the base of the mountain, he comes upon the town of Verbatim, where he rests for the night

-When Kevin wakes up, he realizes it all was a dream, and he’s still remains prisoner on the second terrace of Purgatory

Here you can get the gist of your story, especially if you don’t trust your memory. Frequently check back on the beginning of your story, especially if you left a mystery to the reader. The outline should play out as a synopsis to your book, from the reader’s point of view. If you want, keep side notes somewhere of all your loose ends, and make sure you tie them up in the end.

Now you have your vague outline finished. You know the story from start to finish, front and backwards, and especially important, upside down. You’ve worked out all the plot holes and possible misconceptions, and maybe even shown it to a friend you trust.

Now you can make another outline! This time, your ideas will be much, much more in detail. Not to the point of dialogue, but close. This time, you’ll break up your story into chapters. Break down your large clumps of information into even smaller doodles of ideas. Make sure your chapters all make sense, and if you name your chapters, be sure the name is important, even if the reader will not instantly understand it. Don’t, don’t, don’t make your chapter information into vague one to two notes. You’ll move backwards from your first outline. You need to go more in detail for each chapter, as if they all were mini-outlines.

Ex.

Chapter 1 – Awaken

- Kevin wakes up hanging upside down in a massive spider’s web.

- After wondering what is going on, the massive, eight foot long spider appears.

- Kevin finds a dagger stuck to the web, and uses it to slash his way down.

- He fights the spider, and kills it.

The chapter outline should be longer than your first one. Now you can edit more in depth, and spot any mistakes. The level of detail here is up to you, depending on how well you think you know your story. When you think you’ve finished, show that friend again, or this time another friend.

Now you should have a very good representation of your story, start to finish. From here you can choose to do another outline if you really want to go in-depth, or you can start your story. Since you have all your ideas organized, it should be a breeze.

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Info dumping through dialogue is the same as regular info dumping, but the dialogue explains it.

Since an info dump is a simple explanation, with dialogue you need someone who knows the information, and someone who doesn’t. Here, the knowledgeable person tells the ignorant one (and the reader) whatever it is.

I seem to have misplaced my Eragon book, so I cannot quote the passage I want, but when I find it, I’ll change this. Anyway, in the beginning of Eragon, Brom tells the gathered people the story of the Riders. This whole story is a huge info dump, simply there to tell Eragon and the reader who and what the Riders where. This works the same way as a regular info dump, but in fact more complicated because of the characters required.

The information given could have been told over the course of the book, but instead, it makes Brom seem snobbish and arrogant, since we are told shortly after that the Empire kills anyone who tells the story.

If your main characters are one who would know everything new you have come up with, you’ll need to find a way to explain the rules to the reader. The best way is to show, don’t tell. When something happens, the actions the character or world takes will explain it to the reader. This works better than creating a one dimension character simply to tell the reader. It insults your reader, making you appear lazy and arrogant.

Of course, if a character (like a young child) is present, you can tell them some things. Since most children are ‘full of questions’, allow them to inquire about your world. If you have them asking questions, make sure they ask something the reader already knows, so it is realistic. Even then, don’t do it often.

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When creating any type of world dealing in a fictional environment that spans a large area, you need to do this first. Maybe not first, but it’s should be in the top five things you do first. The best example, is as always, the world around you.

Erosion

Erosion is a big aspect of shaping the earth. Look at the Grand Canyon. Erosion comes from friction, and in this case, lots and lots of friction. Rivers will eventually create a little dip in the earth. Wind erodes less because it’s not a continuous force. It blows from one direction usually, but not constantly. If you have a large desert in your world, consider sandstorm erosion. If a city has been in a desert for a while, the buildings will have sand eroding at the buildings. Otherwise, sand doesn’t do much to other sand. Large rock formations in a desert give a majestic feeling, and a sense that your characters are small compared to the world. If that’s what you want. Current erosion in the oceans does a considerable amount to the shaping of continents, and the direction of your current shapes the coastline.

Mountains, and Tectonic Movement

Tectonic movement is what you learned in grade school, and never thought about again. Basically, the earth’s outer crust is broken into several large plates. If your story spans an entire world, you may have to plan out all of them, but with a single continent, you many need only one or two.

Mountains are formed by tectonic movement. These plates move against each other along fault lines, and landmass is just pushed up. The Indian plate is a good example of this. It moves north, and has formed the Himalayas. Another example is California, which has the Pacific plate moving north, and the North American moving south. This creates the rather small mountains along the California coastline, and consequently the Sierras.

This is the reason mountains are formed in ranges, and why Helgrind bugs me to no extent. If you have your continent, mentally map out tectonic movement so your mountains form realistically. Also note, fault lines don’t run through large places, they mainly surround landmasses. And, plates can only move in one direction, they don’t expand.

Gravity and Rivers

Water flows down. Stuff comes down, snow comes down. Rain and its various forms go down. It’s how the world works. Rivers generally come from two origins, snow on mountains, and lakes on a higher level than the rest of the world. Along the mountain, in the spring, snow melts into water, and it flows down. Or a lake that simply overflows, and water pours out. The best example of the last option is the Nile River, which flows north from Lake Victoria. If you’ve gone far enough to draw a map for your world, you can’t just make a wavy line from a mountain leading into a lake, or the ocean. Each turn in the river indicates the land around it. In effect, hills. Water is simply guided by hills or other large formations. Also, rivers in a similar area have to flow in the same general direction. Two rivers side by side flowing in opposite directions is very strange, and makes it feel forced, unless there might be a tall hill in between them. While you can have rivers slowly veer away in the direction you need them, it has to stay with the land formation. When examining rivers and lakes, imagine your map in three dimensions. The higher points are your mountains or hills, and coastlines are usually lower. So now imagine your rivers, and be sure they follow your rules.

Rivers, lead into other rivers, lakes, or the ocean. This is a simple concept, and easily grasped. Cities are also built along rivers, for trading purposes. Although rivers only flow in one direction, so your people with have to walk the other way.

Oceans

Oceans are essentially giant lakes with too much salt. If you’re accepting the laws of physics, your planet will have poles. Not poles, poles. The frozen top and bottom where the sun can’t do its job properly. The ocean is maintained by the ice breaking off, and eventually melting. Oceans aren’t hard to recreate, but the stuff inside of can be.

Reefs, shoals, and shallow water are all nasty aspects of the ocean. Depending on how much emphasis on sailing you put into your story, the more you’ll want to plan these things out. Reefs are large constructs of coral and other stuff, and can wreak havoc on ships, especially wooden ones. Also, the closer you get to land, the shallower your water should be. While this isn’t true anywhere (nor should be, for realism), it dictates where your people will build port cities. No one wants to park their galleon two miles out because some idiot decided to start a port in shallow water. Shallow water hinders ships, and by extent, rocks. While a ‘Shipwreck Cove’ is overused, a simple passage between islands can provide this hindering aspect.

Islands, are islands. Little dabs of land in the ocean. Islands are made in a few different ways. Madagascar, if you’ve ever looked at it on a map, fits neatly into the side of Africa. So naturally, it broke away at some point in the past while the Earth was changing. While it won’t fit like that five thousandth puzzle piece, the general contour should be recognizable, because current erosion has changed it. Another island creation method is undersea volcanic eruption. The Hawaiian islands have a curve to them, as if they are being pulled off to the northeast. They are being pulled, by the Central Pacific current. Undersea volcanoes belch out earth and rock, and it floats up and hardens, and the water pulls it. This effect gives your world a natural movement.

Currents are flows of water. Take a look at a world map of currents for ideas, but currents also affect climate. Newfoundland in eastern Canada and Britain are nearly on the same parallel. Newfoundland is under snow for the majority of the year, but Britain got off easy with rain and fog. The North Atlantic current is the answer. Water from the equator is warmed, and carried upward past Spain, Portugal, and Britain. it goes up around Greenland, and is cooled again, then flowing back down along Canada and the Eastern seaboard. Currents have a major effect on climate, and vicariously, on your civilization. A quick note: Warm water from the equator flows naturally to the poles, and the cold water from there moves back towards the equator, and becomes warm. This should be a simple guideline if you’re thinking about currents. Sail ships use currents all the time in the absence of a tailwind. Many times detours would be taken to follow currents.

Wind

Wind is formed by air currents. Warm and cool currents spiral horizontally and creates wind. The direction wind comes from is an important factor. A wind coming through a desert onto a coastal town will give warm air during the day, and unnaturally cool air at night. A wind coming from a snow capped mountain range will be cool year round.

To be continued.. I’ve been sitting down for too long.

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Welcome back. I was finishing up the end of the last one, and realized how broad this topic is. Here I hope to complete the various climates found in a diverse, livable world. You’ve probably seen these somewhere before, but here you’ll apply them to characters, events, and civilizations. Refer to the Basic Fantasy Ecology and Making Animals article for specifics on animal behaviors.

Grassland / Prairie

A simple area for your city. Rivers might pass through here, with some hills. Cities, especially in a fantasy setting, would be built upon hills as a natural defense. Rivers provide water and occasionally food, so cities are built near or along them for proximity purposes. Climates here are generally hot and dry, and whatever is built here should compensate. Tornadoes are a frequent natural disaster, and droughts as well.

Mountainous

Cities in mountains become more complicated. While a town built in valley makes sense using mountains as barriers, built on a mountain is different. Your city gains the huge uphill advantage, acquiring food and water becomes more difficult. How do your citizens get their basic needs? A simple way is to have a river running near or through a city. Also, terrace farming is a concept used widely by the Incas in the Andes mountains. Depending on how high up you are, the colder you will become. Mountains are generally windy as well, and rock slides can be devastating, along with avalanches.

Mediterranean

A mix of sea and mountainous climates, and aptly named after the Mediterranean area. Port towns might be common, and a front for trade. Fog is also a dominant aspect, which makes everything a dull tone, and very wet. Humidity also becomes a factor as well. Although summers are hot, and winters are cold, this might be about as normal as you can get. Floods, and tidal waves should be yearly horrors for your citizens. Tsunamis are also good sources for terror.

Desert

A desert is a place that has little to no rainfall per year, so everything is dry. During the day it can become blistering hot, but at night temperature can drop below freezing. Your people should be able to react to this kind of sudden change each day. Scarce supplies of food and water generates a competitive society, and has a potential for interesting cultures. The desert nomad is also a widely used idea, the peoples who travel around endlessly. Sandstorms are common, and animals dealing with this environment can be fiercer than normal. Cities should be near oases, springs of fresh water and plants in deserts.

Forest / Jungle

Cities are rarely built in jungles, simply because of the amount of work involved cutting down trees and removing underbrush and various other stuff. Trees, when regrowing, are also quite intrusive with their roots. Cities built on the coast with forests around them make more sense, because the treeline doesn’t usually extend into the water. Lots of rainfall and humidity associated in this area, along with more wildlife than usual. Food can be acquired easily, and the large amounts of rainfall cause rivers to be common. River flooding can be a serious problem, especially if your city lies on or near a river.

Snow / Tundra / Ice

Living in constant cold changes people, and your citizens should be abnormal accordingly. Buildings here are usually short and compact, with thick walls for insulation. Snow falls are high, and depending on how much affects other things. Places have good winters and bad winters every year, but otherwise everything is straightforward. Food is scarcer, but water is plentiful. Blizzards are a frequent occurrence, and katabatic winds are caused by cold, heavy air moving down hill. These winds are extremely strong, reaching up to hurricane speeds. The worst are most common in cold climates.

Tropical

Tropical climates are ones with wet seasons and dry seasons, and mild temperatures year round. Imagine places like Hawaii, the Caribbean, or Brazil. These places are generally closer to the ocean, nearer to the Equator. Cities here have the good fortune of plentiful food and water. Floods, especially near rivers, can occur, along with tidal waves.

Locations

The easiest way to plan this out is to look at a climate map of the world, and you can easily spot where the climates are located. While no place is perfect, and a few oddities add realism.

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