The Cat

Part II: Battle Under Farthen Dur

“The Urgals will arrive in a matter of hours. We know their numbers are great, but we must hold Farthen Dur. Failure will mean the dwarves’ downfall, death to the Varden- and eventual defeat for Surda and the elves. This is one battle we cannot lose. Now go and complete your tasks! Jormundur, ready the men to fight.”

Ajihad, the leader of the Varden, rallies his men to begin the preparations for battle; Galbatorix’s Urgals are almost upon the Varden. It just goes to show how desperately Paolini wanted this battle to be the most epic thing that ever happened to the universe- this quote is extremely excessive. Because, when you think about it, are the Varden really that important to the survival of the other races? King Orrin’s family has been holding their own against Galbatorix for generations. And the elves… well, are a few hundred warriors that much of a help to an entire race of magical superheroes? Get real, Ajihad. This battle determines the fate of the Varden, not the entire world. Less ego, please.

So, for the hours before the battle, the Varden prepare; collapsing tunnels, building fortifications, and training. This is actually not bad- Paolini somewhat justifies not collapsing all the tunnels, but it’s still a little weak. Apparently, the dwarf city Tronjheim rests on the tunnels, so portions of the city could sink into the ground if the tunnels were all collapsed. Somewhat valid, but can’t a few dwarves sacrifice their homes so hundreds of Varden warriors can survive and continue fighting Galbatorix? Isn’t that a worthy cause?

Finally, after an agonizing chapter where Eragon single-handedly collapses hundreds of tons of rock with magic, the battle begins as the Varden line up before the mouth of an un-collapsed tunnel. An un-collapsed and booby-trap free tunnel, I might add. That’s right. The Varden had several hours to prepare, but they didn’t put stakes directly in the tunnels, drench them with flammable oil, dig pits and trenches in them, or anything of the sort. Sure, they put all of those things right in front of their ranks, which definitely prevents the Varden from maneuvering, but nothing in the tunnels. Why didn’t they put a Welcome Mat while they were at it?

After all the Varden soldiers are assembled and armed, Arya feels the need to clarify that, yes, the battle has begun.

“It has begun,” Arya said sorrowfully.”

Good to know, Arya. I hadn’t realized. What tipped you off? The soldiers ready for battle? The hundreds evacuating Tronjheim? Or was it your divine elfish powers of intuition? Hmmm, I’ll go for intuition.

Before the battle had even started, the Varden had to take several important steps: firstly, realize they were direly outnumbered, and respond to it, and second, assess the advantages they had and use them. The Varden have an ideal position for countering larger numbers. The Urgals could not leave the tunnel all at once, and had no time to form up. The Varden’s chance to remove the Urgals’ advantage in numbers was to fight at the opening of the tunnel. If a line could be held there, the Urgals wouldn’t be able to swarm the Varden, like they did in the book. Let us consider which formations would have been best for the Varden to hold the Urgals at the opening of the tunnel. The Greek Phalanx, for instance, depended heavily on the front line holding out. The Hoplites were well armed, and would fit well in this scenario; an average hoplite was armed with a spear approximately 2-3 meters long, an aspis shield or hoplon, and often a secondary weapon. Considering this was an average ancient Greek soldier, and that if the Varden had forced the fight to the opening of the tunnel, which opened upwards, the Varden would have had the higher ground- the spear would have been extremely effective in this scenario. In addition, the Hoplites’ large circular shields would have prevented the Urgals from breaking their line with arrows. The Hoplites did have a major weakness, however, which would have been disastrous in this situation. The Phalanx formation depended heavily on its front lines, but had no way of relaying or replacing them. Often, in a long battle, which is the case with Farthen Dur, the front line of Hoplites would collapse in exhaustion, and the entire Phalanx would fall apart.

To remedy this, a new formation must be adopted. One that defeated the Phalanx because it could, in fact, relay its front lines and give them a rest. The Roman Legion was one of the best ancient formations. The Legion was organized into six centuries: the forward and rear Hastati, the forward and rear Principes, and the forward and rear Triarii. The Legion could relay its front ranks, and did not crumble like the Phalanx if they fell, instead, it advanced the rear centuries. Using the Roman Legion to bottle up the Urgals in the tunnel would have effectively removed their advantage of superior numbers, as they couldn’t use them all at once.

All right, all right, let’s come back to what happened in the book. The problem is, the Varden completed step one, they realized they were outnumbered, but they didn’t do anything about it at all. Instead of forming at the mouth of the tunnel, they left two lines of spearmen to hold the line. Good tactics, Paolini. Really. Leave a dozen spearmen to die for no reason other than to delay the battle for a few seconds? What is this?!? At least have them retreat into the main ranks once they become overwhelmed!

Sorry, forgot to mention, there doesn’t seem to be any ranks in the Varden at Farthen Dur. Consider the quotes:

“The Varden bunched together.”

“From the corner of his eye, Eragon saw Orik hewing Urgal necks with mighty blows of his ax. Beside the dwarf was Murtagh on Tornac, his face disfigured by a vicious snarl as he swung his sword angrily, cutting through every defense. Then Saphira spun around, and Eragon saw Arya leap past the lifeless body of an opponent.”

Before I start on what’s wrong with this, I have to laugh at the picture of a three-foot tall dwarf ‘hewing the neck’ of a Kull described as being over seven or eight feet tall. Can he even reach that high?

This description gives the reader the idea that the Varden are rushing the Urgals as a huge blob, each soldier fighting their own single battle as the two armies mix together with no cohesive order, direction, or sense. That’s how you lose when you’re outnumbered. In a battle as large-scale as this, single combat fights don’t exist. The Urgals are said to have hundreds more warriors than the Varden. If each Varden picks one Urgal to kill, five more will come from behind. If both groups run at each other like a swarm of ants, the Varden are quite literally giving the Urgals every advantage imaginable. As we found before, the Varden had the potential to fight an organized, well-planned battle and win with few casualties.

The Urgals are attacking the Varden on their own territory. That means Ajihad has the home-field advantage! Where’s the secret attack coming from a small tunnel the dwarves but not the Urgals knew about? Why just flaming tar in the tunnels? Couldn’t you prepare spiked logs to roll down, or covered pits? How about weakening the main tunnels, then collapsing them on the Urgals during the battle? It seems like the Varden were trying to lose!

Another factor Paolini underplayed or forgot about during the battle was magic. It’s been stated in the books Urgals have no magic. This is a major advantage; while there may be a few casters among the Urgal ranks, the magician guild led by the ‘Twins’ should be able to deal with them. Instead of using Thrysta a couple of times to kill a few Urgals, the Varden magicians could have added their own advantage to our previous battle-plan.

The Varden, arrayed in Legions, are awaiting the Urgals at the upward-facing opening of the tunnel. This way, the Urgals cannot make use of their greater numbers. But with the help of some magic, the Varden could actually fight less Urgals at a time. The magician guild could put up a powerful magical barrier, and when a few Urgals managed to slip through, the Varden could promptly “hew their necks”, as Paolini puts it. If this is too difficult for the magicians to do, couldn’t they simply make a smaller shield? That would also reduce the Urgals ability to leave the tunnels. Instead, magic was used in the most unimaginative and ineffective way possible: snapping Urgals necks and stopping their hearts. There was the potential to destroy the Urgals’ advantage in numbers more effectively than the Legion, but they chose to kill a few dozen instead. Nice going, magicians.

Finally, Paolini stated himself that Galbatorix threw away the battle. The Urgals and Varden were somewhat evenly matched. So why didn’t Galbatorix send his own soldiers into battle? An easy victory, which results in the annihilation of the dwarves and Varden, as opposed to a probable victory using only Urgals. I know he’s supposed to be crazy, but not even a madman would choose a probable victory over an easy one! And what is Ajihad’s brilliant explanation for
Galbatorix not sending his soldiers along with the Urgals? He says- and I quote-

“If he hasn’t (Galbatorix not sending his soldiers with the Urgals)- because he doesn’t want his alliance with the Urgals revealed, or for some other reason…”

So… this evil, mad, merciless dictator isn’t seizing the chance for an easy victory because it won’t appeal to his people? Since when has he cared? According to Paolini, Galbatorix oppresses his people! They already don’t like him! There’s no logic behind this train of thought at all. We have to settle for the “or some other reason”, which pretty much means Paolini had no idea why Galbatorix would throw this chance away.

If the Varden fought every battle this way since their foundation, it’s really a miracle they are still alive. When outnumbered, they attempt to swarm the enemy with no order or formation. When they have time to prepare, they ignore almost every possibility to boost their chances of winning. Fighting a battle this way is suicide. By the end, I was rooting for the Urgals, and with good cause.

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Battle of the Burning Plains

This is the largest, most important and decisive battle the Varden have ever fought. Defeat will be too disastrous to contemplate. This battle, if possible, is even more important than Farthen Dur. And it is, if possible, even worse.

Before the battle even begins, several major issues with the Varden must be considered. This army is poorly organized, poorly prepared, and poorly led. First and foremost, the matter of succession. Within the first few pages of Eldest, Ajihad is killed by Urgals. After an excessive funeral, Nasuada, completely out of the blue, becomes leader of the Varden. This is just too much to swallow. It’s completely random. She is the daughter of the General. His Second-in-Command, Jormundur, is the man who should succeed Ajihad. This is just how armies work. Even worse, when Nasuada seizes power, she is not even challenged. Do the men trust her? Has she ever earned their respect? Jormundur should be outraged. Is he some sort of permanent Second-in-Command, who remains so no matter the leader? In fact, the soldiers would no doubt not approve of Nasuada either. I do not think this is entirely fair, but the fact remains: in Ancient Times, women did not fight. They did not lead armies. In reality, the soldiers would scoff at Nasuada and turn to Jormundur to command. Or maybe some, for any bizarre and unlikely reason they might have, would join Nasuada, while others would join Jormundur. This power struggle might actually have added tension and real plot to Eldest. Instead, not even a confused hand is raised when Nasuada is declared General of the Varden. So, the Varden are led by an inexperienced, untrained, untried and untested, daughter of a General who has never been on a battlefield. I’m going to wish you guys good luck, shrink slowly back into the shadows, and desert this army.

So let’s review the facts about the Varden. It can be assumed they are poorly armed and armored compared to the Empire’s soldiers, for the simple reason they have less money, less supplies, and less suppliers. They are also outnumbered, which was proved when Roran asked his Captain about their group being outnumbered, and he responded, “It is always so with the Varden.” Paolini has said the numbers were roughly 100,000 Empire soldiers against about 50,000 during the Battle of the Burning Plains, but this is unbelievably higher than what the reader was led to believe in the book, seeing as no actual numbers were given, and no adequate description of the ranks was either.

These disadvantages lead the reader to expect the Varden to win battles with a combination of strategy and heroism- especially in one as climactic as the Burning Plains. Most unfortunately, they do not. Armies look to their Generals and leaders for orders, so it is up to them to orchestrate the victory. But Nasuada simply is not the right person to do that. And when the Varden face the Empire’s forces, it shows.

The preparations for battle are a bit odd, and disproportionate to the amount of men. For instance, Angela the Witch prepares perhaps a cauldron of magic poison, proceeds to infiltrate the Imperial camp with ease, and tops it off by poisoning thousands of soldiers.

If I thought Paolini never picked up a book on warfare before this, I’m convinced of it now. I mean, yes, Angela is a powerful witch. But the Empire also has many magicians, and anyone would have put magical sentries as well as regular ones on duty. Keep in mind, this is a camp of thousands. It would be impossible to penetrate so deep to get into the kitchens and poison the food. And it would be even harder lugging a cauldron of poison around. This, incidentally, would not have been enough to poison the Imperial Army, of, yes, thousands.

Next, the Varden begin their opening maneuvers, positioning the army on the Burning Plains. Before I begin on the complete atrociousness of this maneuver, I have to note that the Varden muffled the sound of their army by stuffing rags into their armor. Yes. I’m not kidding. They stuffed rags into their armor. What this would do to muffle the sound of 50,000 marching boots on hard ground, I have no idea, how they would get enough rags for 50,000 men, I have even less.

But the maneuver itself was random, pointless, and downright suicidal. The Varden had a secure, fortified encampment before the plains. Earlier on, Nasuada had sent for help from the dwarves, who could arrive any hour. The logical course of action is obviously to hold the position, and wait for the dwarves before making any serious engagement. The fact that they are outnumbered only makes it even worse; in a direct conflict, in an open plain, it will make an enormous difference, the numbers would be more desirable in a siege.

Not only that, but the location the Varden moved to was simply ridiculous. The Burning Plains are described as vast, scorching deserts of hard ground, with underground fires that occasionally erupt at the surface, enough to scorch a dozen men. Which really makes it the desirable terrain to hold during a battle, right? The Varden seizing this ground is reminiscent of many risky gambits taken by real Generals. Especially in more Ancient to Medieval Times, when victory on the field was everything, commanders often risked victory on a throw of the dice: rushing to take the high ground, or giving it away to force the enemy into a trap, as Napoleon did at Austerlitz. But in the Varden’s case, it’s reminiscent in the action, but certainly not in the result. The Varden have risked their fortification, connection with the dwarf reinforcements, all in the goal of obtaining a position in desert which will occasionally scorch their troops to a crisp, in the open, as their position to fight against a larger force. Did I mention I was deserting?

Now, as the battle begins, things become very odd. For instance, I was given the impression that the Varden were attacking the Imperial Camp by surprise, what with the rags, and the surprising maneuvers. It’s implied they will now storm the camp, and slaughter the Empire’s soldiers as they sleep, or before they can grab their weapons. A cruel, dishonorable plan, but nevertheless one which allow the Varden to obtain a huge victory in the easiest way possible. But it’s strange… this doesn’t happen. Somehow, the Imperial Army, in full battle gear, in full formation, comes marching against the Varden. This means that either Paolini intentionally messed up the rags in the armor, as an excuse for the Empire to be tipped off, or he just doesn’t know what a surprise attack is.

Seeing as Paolini has never admitted a fault in any of his characters, I’m going for the second. This, however, brings up more questions. Assuming this was meant to be a surprise attack, how exactly did Nasuada plan on stopping her army from being ‘Scryed’? I know if I had a dozen magicians at my disposal, I would be observing the enemy’s movements constantly. There are a dozen ways for the Empire to know about the Varden’s movements, giving them adequate time to form up before the Varden arrive, but since none of them are even barely implied, I have to reason Paolini simply wanted this battle to be two squares marching against each other, and the last one standing wins. This is pretty much what happens.

It seems the Varden don’t learn from their mistakes. In Farthen Dur, where they should have lost, they made the mistake of not taking advantage of time, and just as bad, letting an enemy that outnumbered them form up and attack in an organized way. Here they make the same mistakes. Nasuada decided to move the entire Varden to the Burning Plains. But she didn’t have any plans for the battle other than charging the Empire, who, once again, outnumbers them. I mean, come on. Not even a little flank attack with Orrin’s cavalry? How about harassing the enemy’s advance and destroying their supplies with it? But there’s nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing from the Varden, nothing from the Empire. They both just charge at each other, in large blobs, since it is clear by now Paolini doesn’t know what a formation is, and hope to win. For the Empire, this is excusable; they have the larger force, but really Nasuada? Not even a charge of cavalry in the front?

As the battle starts picking up for real, the two bodies of troops engage, Eragon takes to the sky on Saphira. His strategy is to find enemy magicians and kill them with magic, then kill all the men they were protecting from the ‘Seven Words of Death’. This is a good plan, but when I stop and think about it, it doesn’t make sense. Killing the enemy magician magically is the same as overpowering his magic, right? So… why did Eragon have to kill him in the first place? Just shove through his puny human magical barriers, and kill all the soldiers with your Elfish powers! But, he doesn’t think to do that. Instead, Eragon finds it easier to pinpoint each and every Empire magician to kill them magically, and then kills the troops. What he does in the meantime actually made me laugh.

While he’s not magically killing other magicians, Eragon is observing the battle. Yes. He’s flying around in circles over a vital battle. Like a complete moron. Wasn’t Eragon’s intelligence supposed to be heightened by the Agaeti Blodhren? Instead of decreased…? I think Eragon needs some clarifications on his position.

Eragon! You are riding a DRAGON! She can breathe FIRE! Do you know what this means?

It means Eragon should take Saphira over the enemy lines, and scorch everything to a crisp. At this point in time, the Empire has no Dragon Rider to oppose Eragon. This is a mind-bogglingly huge advantage. This is the equivalent to two modern divisions of infantry fighting against each other, but one has a Fighter/Bomber and the other doesn’t. What’s that Fighter/Bomber going to be doing? I know! Flying circles and observing the vital battle!

Sigh

But it’s not until later on that the real fun begins. This is when the Empire rolls out the heavy artillery… the trebuchets. The siege engines, meant to knock down castle walls. The imprecise, slow, awkward things that throw large stones. Oh, enough of this. Damaging an army with a Trebuchet in the middle of a battle is the same as trying to injure a cow with a pebble. And the accuracy is the same as if you flicked the pebble at the cow with a plastic spoon. There’s no reason to have brought out the Trebuchets- there’s as much a threat to the Varden as to the Empire itself. But Eragon, being the little Elfish genius he is, decides that this enormously dangerous threat cannot continue to exist. So, he comes up with a plan to destroy them.

First, Eragon decides to invade the mind of a foot-soldier. He pushes through his mind barriers, and has the man inconspicuously sneak towards the heavily guarded siege engines. Quickly, the man is forced to pull out his sword and hit the thick, tough rope with it. Finally, one Trebuchet has no more rope on it. Now, to repeat the process for the other heavily guarded siege engines…

Or he could’ve, you know, GONE OVER THERE AND SCORCHED THE WOODEN THINGS!

I think I need to get some cold water… * Hobbles away *

But, unfortunately, we get no relief from the utter outrageousness of it all when a dragon appears, flying out of the horizon, with blazing red-colored scales. This raises several questions. First of all, where was this dragon all this time? Why did he not come to defend the ground troops from Saphira, when any half-wit would know she should’ve cooked half the Imperial Army ‘Well Done’ by now. And… it’s not Galbatorix, because the dragon is red, not black. Great, he has an apprentice! Why didn’t he come to? It’s becoming a habit for Galbatorix to throw away essential battles. Had he come, Eragon would now be either dead or his second apprentice, and the Varden Dwarves, and Surdans would all have been annihilated by one magic word, backed up by his Eldunari. Yet, this lazy couch potato prefers to stay in his dark, evil tower and do… something or other, than win this war on which his survival, incidentally, depends.

But I digress. After killing Hrothgar, Murtagh contemptuously defeats Eragon’s magical resistance, and pretty much forces him to blubber and beg for mercy. Which is, I’m not even kidding, pretty much what Eragon does. Our hero is actually begging the villain. But as this is happening, the cavalry arrives! Roran and Co. appear on their ship, giving great hope to the Varden. Next, Paolini further proves he doesn’t know what siege weapons are when Roran operates the ballista on the ship to decimate the Empire’s troops. But, in any case, this whole passage is completely ridiculous. A ship like the Dragon Wing could hold two hundred people, at a generous estimate. Two hundred people will not tip the balance of a battle where both sides have tens of thousands of troops!

But, away from Eragon and back to the battle for a moment. Throughout this entire time, the Varden and Empire are still hacking at each other as huge blobs with no order, formation, or for that matter, leadership. This goes for both the Varden, with Nasuada as their general, against an army whose Ultra-Powerful leaders didn’t even bother to help until halfway through the battle.

This is a real Clash of the Titans, right here.

As soon as the Dragon Wing arrives, so do the ‘Twins’: two powerful Empire magicians. They may be powerful, but in Eragon, it was well emphasized that for humans, magic was very limited by their physical impotence. The Twins are, quite clearly, human. As such, how are they decimating the Varden again…? Eragon, a Dragon Rider, almost died after killing a few soldiers without Saphira, in Gil’ead, before the Agaeti Blodhren. The Twins may be a little more powerful, but still.

But even more ridiculous is Roran’s way of killing the two. He strolls across the battlefield, to the center of the Empire’s horde, without being noticed, then walks up to the Twins, surrounded by Imperial guards, and kills them with his hammer. This is…stunning.

But, back to our real hero, Eragon. Softened by Eragon’s pleas, Murtagh decides to spare him, despite being loyal to Galbatorix. And then he leaves. He just leaves. He abandons his troops, he abandons the incredibly important battle, even as his soldiers are starting to flee and he can easily turn the tide of the battle. He just leaves. This is beyond the bounds of reason. If I thought the Varden were doing everything they could to lose, boy, was I wrong!

And, as is his habit in battles, Paolini pulls victory out of the blue. He pulled the solution of poisoning, of moving thousands silently, of having an incompetent enemy, all out of a hat, with no foundation whatsoever. But, in this contest of sheer numbers, because that was what the Battle of the Burning Plains was: two blobs shoving against each other, the higher numbers winning, the Varden won. Randomly. They were outnumbered, and won a contest of numbers. With not a hint of strategy- in fact, there were several instances of sheer stupidity.

A far better ending would have been for the underground fires to all erupt, and kill everyone. Then, there would be no more Varden… that would be great.

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