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    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010 edited

    Tentatively named Little House of Trinkets , this story is about a girl named Jem Jangle, whose father is killed in an oil tankard explosion. Her friend and next-door neighbor, Gadd Frup had a father who was also on the tanker. In his hurry to leave for the dock when he was told something had went wrong with the tankard, he forgot to douse out the fire. While he is gone, a spark flies out and burns down the house. Jem automatically invites Gadd and his younger twin brothers, Kale and Jit, to live with her.

    On the outside, the house looks like any other house on the street: A bit dilapidated. On the inside, though, the house is an oddity, perhaps a reflection on Jem’s late father. Each room is lined with shelves, shelves containing trinkets of all sizes; some are music boxes, bottles, machine gears, carvings, blankets, dolls and toys. To Jem her house is nothing unusual, just a house. The only thing intriguing to her was her father’s secret area- a place which her dad kept under lock and key and Jem never saw the inside of. It’s a big hole in the floor off the side of the downstairs hallway; covered with a fixture that Jem thinks looks like a porthole with brass around the edges and a curtain over it.

    Enter Sage Traw, the daughter of the man who owned the oil tankard which exploded. She comes and offers an apology on her fathers behalf, and immediately, (For the girls face, Jem’s sure) Gadd forgives her. Over time, this girl comes into Gadd’s life, and Jem finds more and more she hates this girl. It’s not so much who she is as the fact being, she feels like this Sage is taking Gadd away from her. She hates the little trinkets- the ones Gadd loved; she looks down on Jem just because she works in the town factory, which this Ms. Traw should understand- so does Gadd. This Sage character burns Jem with her subtle snobbery and ‘I-must-be-first’ mentality, which yearns for the spotlight in the small town- and in Gadd’s heart too, Jem’s quite convinced.

    One day, the mailman comes, and hands her a letter with a white wax seal of a rabbit- Jem knows immediately her father has set up some grand adventure for her- even from beyond the grave. The adventure starts with a brief letter from her father- one he wrote before he left for the tankard and had the mailman keep until the event of his death. Toeing along Kale and Jit, Jem sorts through her treasure box of a house, and Sage, thinking that there’s some grand treasure involved, tries to find out what’s going on before Jem can.

    Soon, the little world of trinkets is part of a jigsaw puzzle, one concerning the factory which is central to the town’s economy, Jem and Gadd’s life, and a little healthy dose of magic.
    This idea is really an Alice in Wonderland spinoff, And I’m not so sure it’s a good Idea. I love the idea, but I’d really love some input on the idea BEFORE I go writing it all up, is it overdone? Is it unoriginal? AGGHH!


    The only Alice in Wonderland I saw was the white rabbit seal, but I’m not really too versed in Alice In Wonderland-ness.

    This seems like it would be a higher elementary or middle school book- is that what you’re planning? I can’t really imagine it as working as anything else. Honestly, I’ll always love a cute little coming-of-age story and treasure hunts and quirky magical old stuff, so I think you should go for it!

    On your summary: Sage Traw seems completely unneccessary. So far as I can tell by reading your summary, she doesn’t advance the plot much. (edit: so then I saw that she’ll be racing Jem to find the treasure, so….) Still, annoying boy-stealer Prada-obsessed twelve year olds are a little overused nowadays, IMO. (Clique series blehhh) Of course, I can’t really tell by reading the summary, so do what you gotta do.

    Jem Jangle is a rather odd name. So is Gadd, but somehow I like that name more. Somehow, when guys have unique names it comes across in my mind as endearing, but when a girl has a unique name it comes across as trying too hard. Maybe I’ve read too much fanfiction. Yeah, pretty sure that’s it.

    Those were my thoughts.

    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010

    Okay :D Thanks :D

    Actually, they were about Nineteen, I thought… :-/ It’s sill a very, very raw idea though. I need to process and refine it A LOT.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010

    Nineteen? I assumed they were 11 years olds.


    The names are all kinda silly, which isn’t necessarily a problem, but they’re all silly in the same way, in that they are single syllable aren’t-really-names-but-sound-like-they-could-be sort of names.

    Anyway, I think it can work if you execute it properly, but I’m of the school of thought who thinks anything will work if executed properly.

    • CommentTimeMar 23rd 2010

    Well, they aren’t necessarily in this world. They’re in a kind of steampunk-type world. Think Tim Burton meets, uh… Owl City!
    (If that makes sense.)