I like how you assume Texas is Redneckutopia. Regrettably, this is at least partly untrue. I live in Kansas City, Misery. And it’s a good thing I know lots of smart people IRL who think Twilight is a laugh, because otherwise I would have to go all alone. =( Which is no fun.

You know, I almost jumped on that point but then I saw something shiny and…

Uh… what were we talking about?

Seriously though, for our out of towner posters: “redneckutopia” can apply to a wide variety of states in the US. Texas is just an attention whore.

I am sorry, but you calling Missouri “Misery” sent me rolling on the floor. Yeah, I amuse easily:P

Heh, I always call Missouri “Misery” too… don’t worry, it’s not a reflection on the state or the inhabitants thereof, just that my family drives (DRIVES) to Mexico every Christmas for mission trips (and to see my aunt/uncle, who are missionaries) and Missouri is the longest state ever. Somehow it always seems even longer than Texas!

I’m offended that the first guess for redneckutopia was Texas.

I’m offended that the first guess for redneckutopia was Texas.

As much as you’d hate it, you must admit that there’s a good reason for that.

As much as you’d hate it, you must admit that there’s a good reason for that.

I consider claims of that to be vastly overstated. Are there rednecks in Texas? Of course, but given how large and diverse the state is, you can hardly call that the norm. People who view Texas as some kind of monolithic culture are as incorrect as people who view the US as a monolithic culture.

That said, the “enjoy the great sport of football or GTFO” attitude is a pretty universal one here, even in Austin.

he

WTF

Which is why I am thankful for the dollar movie theater down the road. All popular movies, just two months after the main theaters release them.

I’m not helping, so ignore this.

What’s wrong with USC?

Pete Carroll is an asshole and the sports media spends far too much time polishing USC’s collective pole. They’re perennially overrated and for the past several years have lost at least one game every season to random jobber Pac-1 school. Still, the pundits are going to be saying the same shit come December(“USC may have lost to a nobody, but they’re playing the best football in the country right now! What an injustice that they’re not in the championship game!”)

The best was the ’05 Rose Bowl in which they played Texas, where ESPN pretty much decided USC had already won a month before they even played, and spent the whole run-up talking about how the ’05 Trojans were probably the best team in history.

They finally play, and Vince Young puts on what will probably be the greatest individual football performance ever to lead Texas to the win, despite the fact that USC’s Reggie “Violates NCAA Rules” Bush won the Heisman over him.

It was awesome.

You mustn’t suffer alone. If only we lived close enough that we could experience the lulz together. Alas. I’ll certainly see it and spork it, though. XD

Do Southwesterners count?

I’m proud not to be a Texan.

BLASPHEMY

Anyway, yeah. Dunno of any other Imps in the vague Missouri-Texas vicinity. XD

The northern part is the smallest part thanks to the Panhandle, though!!

I didn’t realize Misery had a bootheel. I should probably pay more attention to other states.

@Spanman

>Missouri isn’t any kind of whore, but it’s still a haven for rednecks. Especially the sort of rednecks who would rather die than live in Kansas, because it gasp was in the Union and therefore is a nest of vipers, city folk, and traitors to the Confederacy.

Huh? If it was in the Union, it wasn’t a traitor to anybody. Missouri, however, managed to be on both sides of the war at once.

Rats, so close.

>You, sir, must live very far north.

45 miles south of Saint Louis, actually.

>Kansas was called Bloody Kansas right around the Civil War because the government was deciding that the Kansas territory was going to be made into a state, and everyone was making a big deal out of whether or not it would be a slave state. And so the Missourians (those scoundrels) hired people to go terrorise the Kansans into voting for slavery, and um, long story short, Kansas ended up in the Union and all the Confederates were pissed off. And, quite annoyingly, the rednecks around here who call themselves Confedederates are still bitching about it.

So Kansas is a traitor to the Confederacy, despite never actually having been in it, and having always been a free state? Even though the only thing preventing it from being a free state was the massive influx of people from outside it?

45 miles south of Saint Louis, actually.

Bloody yank!

So Kansas is a traitor to the Confederacy, despite never actually having been in it, and having always been a free state only in spite of the massive influx of slaveholders?

To use a metaphor that might help you understand…
Imagine you got into a bar fight with your brother standing nearby and he didn’t help you out. Upon confrontation, your brother points out he didn’t pick the fight nor did he promise that he’d cover your back if you did. But you feel betrayed anyway because he’s your brother! Family should always have your back.

It’s kind of like that.

>Imagine you got into a bar fight with your brother standing nearby and he didn’t help you out. Upon confrontation, your brother points out he didn’t pick the fight nor did he promise that he’d cover your back if you did. But you feel betrayed anyway because he’s your brother! Family should always have your back.

Actually, both he and the guy whom I’m fighting are distant cousins of mine, and they’re much closer to each other than to me. And why am I in a bar?

Actually, both he and the guy whom I’m fighting are distant cousins of mine, and they’re much closer to each other than to me. And why am I in a bar?

You’re taking a crude metaphor too far Mr Wet Blanket. ;-)

Probably neither. Kentucky just so happens to be the state I most often forget about. Something about it is just very forgettable.

Nah, that’s our state security plan. Terrorists, zombies. godzilla – whatever, we plan on fighting by not having them think about us at all.

Kind of like Canada.

Not even if a polar bear fell on you.

In fact, that’s a recommended method for dealing with polar bears and cougars (the big cat or old lady). Tell them you haven’t watched Roadhouse and they’ll drag you back to their den immediately to watch it.

(note this doesn’t work for tigers, snakes or linebackers)

>And um, Road House. Maybe I’ll look it up.

Elucidation

>You’re taking a crude metaphor too far Mr Wet Blanket. ;-)

On the contrary; I have improved it.

On the contrary; I have improved it.

You bring to my mind Jonah Goldberg’s article on metaphor.

“The reality is much more complicated than the metaphor.”

Your choice on which of them actually kicks ass. But speaking of American cities named after French ones, there is such a place as Versailles, MO. And it is pronounced Ver-sayles. I’m not kidding you. I was angry for days over that one.

Same over here.

I mean in this state and pronunciation.

We have a London. Do you have a London?

We’ve got a Paris, too, and probably a bunch of other Euro ones. Those are kind of boring though, as there are some really bizarre original names for towns in Texas.

@Dan: The Agony Booth recap, while good, can’t possibly do the movie justice.

@Span: See, how can I know any besides Mizzou if you don’t know any besides Mizzou?

@sansa: Good point. My mind has been muddled because since I live right on the border, everyone I know is crazy about KU and the Jayhawks. Laaame.

IT’S A CONSPIRACY.

I don’t give a damn about football.

More’s the pity.

Spanny, I don’t either, except for my home NFL team- GO COLTS!

Peyton Manning is a football nerd, I wuvs him.

Oh, you did not

Must….resist…football…flame war….

Grrrrrrrrrr.

I will admit, rugby is fabulously violent. My inner cavewoman likes it- it’s so manly! Ah, pseudo bloodsports.

Must….not….flame…..

New topic! The Patriots are evil cheaters!

You should’ve gone with GAYton Manning. There’s probably a way you can turn Manning into something gay-sounding too, since it contains “man.”

That said, I don’t mind the Colts, because they’re far too whitebread and bland to hate. Also Payton Manning calculates quantum mechanics in his head while calling audibles, amirite?

New topic! The Patriots are evil cheaters!

I agree with this 300%

More like Tom GAYdy if you ask me.

That said, I probably shouldn’t be engaging in that sort of shot, since people can call my QB “Ben RAPElisberger.”

I think I’m gonna make a separate thread for this since it’s really pretty off-topic here.

Never seen it :(

No kidding puppet.

Willow how can you have not see Equilibrium? It has a gun battle from 2 feet away!

I know, I know! I need to see it :(

Apparently it has gunblades.

Actually it doesn’t.

And after watching it, you’ll think gunblades are for sissies.

That’s because there’s no joy or fun in your life, Dan.

You probably don’t even like Godzilla.

Gun Kata. Come on, it even sounds awesome. I heard it’s impractical but looks amazingly badass.

Look at it….

I’m in San Diego and I support the Patriots (only out of loyalty to the East Coast, not because I understand football in any sort of way).

YAY!

Patriots? More like GAYtriots. The only football team I hate more than them is USC.

BLASPHEMY!

I’m a good bit away from Massachusetts (home of the world’s worst drivers), but since we don’t have our own football team, everyone supports them. I get weird looks when I say I support both the Sox and the Cleveland Indians, and angry looks when they face off in the playoffs…

Sorry. I know this is an old topic. But I had to defend good ol’ N.E.

Me, too. Well, I live there. But it’s pretty cool, if boring at times.

@Future Devin – oh so true. nothing beats the hotness of his shirtlessness in that movie:P

We’re so awesome. From Twilight to the Civil War to sports in less than 100 posts…

Civil War to town names to football to movies.

There is a town named Hell in my state
EDIT: You’ll need to put in Hell MI. to find it.

There is also a town named Paradise, up in the UP. So come to Michigan! We’ve got Hell and Paradise!

We’ve also got Romulus and Troy and Bad Axe and Ypsilanti.