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General: Oh dear lord, here we go again...

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  1.  

    claps for Un-Dante’d

    Good show, old sport!

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Truth be told, I feel bad for her. She thinks that she’s on top of the world.

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    I think these are the rules of engagement:

    1. Posts to her websites have to be a) respectful b) free of ad hominems c) grammatically correct d) limited to one per person.

    She’s posted under sock puppet accounts on anti-sites, so I feel it’s fair that we should respond. However, there’s no reason to sink to her level. We are just trying to get a point across. The point being, maybe she’d be picked up by an actual publisher if she spent more time revising her work, instead of promoting it in ineffectual ways.

    2. Again, any criticism should be leveled at Maradonia and not Gloria.

    3. Let’s write up a lot of concise criticism of the books, highlighting reasons the book isn’t worthwhile. Our goal is to make it impossible for someone researching Maradonia to not realize they are bad books. (Although her website makes that plenty clear already).

    Sound fair?

  4.  

    Yes. I just didn’t like the feeling of completely consigning her to oblivion. It sounds too mean.

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Yessir.

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Look at it this way. She’s trying the Christopher Paolini Method of Publishing©, except that it’s not going to work for her, because Paolini got really lucky, and honestly, Paolini’s book was better. So we might as well inform her that it isn’t going to work now—when she is sixteen—rather than later. Eventually it’ll dawn on her that’s she’s been wasting her time, and she really should have taken a hard look at what she was writing. But that dawning shouldn’t have to wait until she’s twenty-five and has to pick up the shambles of her life from amid the burning wreckage of her failed teenage writing career.

    Give her a dose of realism now, with her work ethic she could actually go places.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Have I ever mentioned how much I love you guys? Normally I’d feel bad about flaming another aspiring novelist, but Miss Gloatia needs to have that arrogant grin wiped off of her pretentious little mug.

    Standing back and seeing her books fizzle into nothingness by themselves seems like a fitting end, really. Books that aren’t memorable in any way excpet for their awfulness generally don’t make it far, I don’t think.

    Jim Theis disagrees.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    I agree completely on all three points- although she does seem to fail Basic Internet Etiquette 101 and appears to think she’s the best that’s ever been, there’s no call to go attacking her directly. She’s probably a perfectly nice person in real life, and we certainly shouldn’t attack either her or her family.

    For that matter, should we really be considering this in terms of “attacking” at all? Criticize the book, yes. Disagree with it, yes. Mock it, yes. But “attack” implies something more, and something a bit too over-the-top.

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Yeah, it’s not so much an attack as a rampage. No wait.

    In all seriousness, just critique her work as if she were a member of this site.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Can we at least tell her that she’s not serving herself by claiming to be the world’s youngest novelist? I mean, it’s not so much the quality of her work that irks me (frankly, I’ve written worse), but the obnoxious way she goes about promoting it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRandomX2
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Ouch. I winced while reading that YouTube message. Realistically, how is someone supposed to respond to that? Accepting criticism is hard enough without the semi-flaming.

    But on the other hand, I haven’t read her books and don’t know the degree to which she needs this criticism.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Also, has anyone noticed how she carefully scrapes her Youtube comments? I’ve commented a couple of times, but they mysteriously have disappeared.

    EDIT: And yeah… that comment was bordering on flaming…

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    That’s unfortunate. If she’s deleting comments like that she’s being willfully blind.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRandomX2
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Also, has anyone noticed how she carefully scrapes her Youtube comments? I’ve commented a couple of times, but they mysteriously have disappeared.

    That seems like a highly inefficient use of time…

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Me commenting? Yeah, probably… but what I was doing was trying to explain (if no one ever had before) that novels aren’t by page count, they’re by word count.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRandomX2
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Actuallyyy I was referring to Un-Dante’d and the comment just after your own…

    My bad. Should have clarified there >.>

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    That’s fine. :)

  18.  

    I also don’t think we should say where we are from. So she can’t find and join us.

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    I’m an asshole. I admit that, but I meant every word I said there.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRandomX2
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    @Inspector Karamazov

    Yeah, that would be pretty bad. Although Sly could probably pull some kind of IP ban-hamma.

    @Un-Dante’d

    Honesty is a good thing. The truth will out, man.

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Yes, it is man. Or boy, I have yet to reach 18.

  22.  

    Yes, it is man. Or boy, I have yet to reach 18.

    x

    Is that you on your profile?

    You’re adorable!

    pinches cheeks

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Yes.
    :)

  24.  

    B’awwww.

    pats you on the head and gives you a lolipop and a cookie

    And when you’re done, I’ll read you a story! It’s called:

    Maradonia™ and the “Chainsaws of Doom”

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Chokes on lollipop and crushes cookie in fist
    You wouldn’t.
    Anything but that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorRandomX2
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wicked sick

    Edit: Oh, she will. She will…

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Oh no!
    Huddles underneath the bed, wrapped in a blanket with the best book ever written, Cowardly Clyde

  28.  

    AWWWW, is me cute wittle baby boy scawed?
    I’ll sing you a lullaby!

    It’s called “The Death of Eragon at the Hand of The Ghost of Tolkien!”

  29.  

    This may be one of the cutest exchanges in the site.

  30.  

    and honestly, Paolini’s book was better

    Talk about damning with faint praise.

  31.  

    Does that mean we get to get married?

    And I fluff up Dante’s Hair.

    fluffs his hair

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Oh, God. You’ve doomed me, Wind!

  33.  

    Mwahahahaha!

    I’ll be like Edward Cullen!

    watches you while you sleep

    sparkles

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Ah, well. I guess I could get used to it.
    Buy me a Mercedes.

  35.  

    I’ll buy you a green one. with polka dots.

    How many do you want?

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Three. Each with different colored polka-dots.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Oh, you’ve found true love! That’s so cute!

    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Yes :3

  39.  
    • CommentAuthorUn-Dante'd
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009
     

    Hahahaha, epic.

  41.  

    As far as knocking down Glotia’s ambitious, horrid, book(and her ideas about said item) consider it practice for when the next bad author with a smug look comes along.

  42.  

    That video is ridiculous.

    “Claimed by some to be the world’s— damn it, Mom! The teleprompter froze up!”

    I also don’t think that anyone should flame her or anything. That crosses into the mean and bullying area.

    On a side note, why does she always say, “a girl called Maya and a boy called Joey”? Is it so hard to say, “Maya and Joey”?

  43.  

    On a side note, why does she always say, “a girl called Maya and a boy called Joey”? Is it so hard to say, “Maya and Joey”?

    It isn’t suitably dramatic enough with just their names.

  44.  

    What if we had another ‘a boy named Sue’ situation?

    @NP: Yes, the Gloria Tesch flaming has reduced, thankfully. I like to maintain our rep as a civilized website.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTheArmourer
    • CommentTimeAug 31st 2009 edited
     

    Flaming is unprofessional, hammering should be done. Any good book will stand up like iron, her’s will crumble like chalk.
    That is as good as my metaphors get. In plain English, Don’t attack, take apart. Impersonally and professionally. Otherwise we will be concidered a “pack of haters” by more people than Glotia.

  46.  

    ^^That’s a good metaphor, Amourer.

    by more people then Glotia.

    It should be than Gloatia.

    /end grammar nazi.

  47.  

    Oh, oops.
    Fixed.

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