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    • CommentAuthorJamie
    • CommentTimeAug 27th 2009
     
    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 27th 2009
     

    Oh God, why??????

  1.  

    Oh dear lord.
    What’s going to become of us?

  2.  

    This thread title is very misleading to spider-man fans. =(

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeAug 27th 2009
     

    This thread title is very misleading to spider-man fans.

    This.

  3.  

  4.  

    What are the cracks on his face?

  5.  

    It’s me sucking at Photoshop ;_;

    I just got it yesterday, so I’m still figuring it out.

  6.  

    You should have claimed they were “dark sparkled”
    lol

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeAug 27th 2009
     

    Oh goodness. Although honestly, I’m not sure if I could make out the difference from normal lip gloss, so whatever.

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 27th 2009
     

    I have some sparkle lip gloss around here somewhere.

    Who wants it?

  7.  

    I lost my minty chapstick. And I don’t wear lip gloss. D:

    •  
      CommentAuthorElanor
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    My hair always gets stuck to my lips if I wear any. :|

  8.  

    Oh. Um. My skin is “ew,” so if I’m ever in pictures wearing chapstick: too shiny. It’s disgusting.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    Twilight Venom should be shaken before use (to represent the blending of the human and vampire worlds)...

    ...

  9.  

    That’s not scary at all.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    It is to me. The stupidity, anyway.

  10.  

    ‘Twas sarcastic. ;)

  11.  

    What it is:
    A shimmering, crimson lip stain suspended in a venom-laced liquid lip conditioner.

    OK, I can understand saying something like “venom-like”, but saying that there is actual venom in the container is just… I have no words.

    What it does:
    Twilight Venom should be shaken before use (to represent the blending of the human and vampire worlds)

    Are you kidding me? If someone falls for that, they’re either too young or too stupid to wear lipgloss.

    What else you need to know:
    With a customizable ruby stain that captures the blood red lips sported by fashionable vampires, Twilight Venom can let you play the part!

    Um, vampires are pale. Pale as in bloodless. Wearing red lip gloss would look garish – oh, never mind, why do I even bother? headdesk

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009 edited
     

    Huh, you know, that’s an excellent point- our lips are red because of blood. So do Meyerpires have white lips, too? That’s… not sexy at all.

  12.  

    Fridge Logic.

  13.  

    If you really want to start with fridge logic, try and figure out why only Caucasian vampires get paler after being turned.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    Melanin isn’t really related to blood… but non-white people should still get somewhat paler, I agree.

  14.  

    Or if vampires are really dead, why don’t they all turn a green color?

    Let’s face it, there is a point where you can over think things.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    Meh, true. Let’s just say it’s MAJEEK and be done with it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    But there is no magic in Twilight…

  15.  

    Just vampire SKILLZ.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009 edited
     

    But there is no magic in Twilight…

    Just vampire SKILLZ.

    That was true until the fourth book, where

  16.  

    Yeah, I don’t remember that, but I’ll take your word for it!

  17.  

    Caius produces a magical flame-throwing amulet to kill Irina. It was at this point that I started thinking that this was getting ridiculous. You can’t have pseudo-science with chromosomes and whatnot and then have magical flame-throwing amulets.

    Well… I can but then again I’m deliberately doing an over-the-top parody.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeAug 28th 2009
     

    Cool, does Anie get a magical flame-throwing amulet?!

  18.  

    Only if it comes with the chainsaw attachment, sold separately.

  19.  

    Cool, does Anie get a magical flame-throwing amulet?!

    Not Anie. But you are close in name. (and it’s not an amulet)

    And thank you QT! I had nearly forgotten about chainsaws. Being as how my family has a variety of them, I sometimes forget how truly awesome they are. (the consequence of familiarity and all that)

    P.S. Yes, if you’re going to be an author, you better learn how to shamelessly self promote.

  20.  

    What’s going to become of us?

    a race of twitard dolls, wobbling around in “Team Jacob” or “Team Edward” t-shirts, wanking using the official twilight™ dildo and wearing twilight™ venom lipgloss on sickly white face under layers and layers of make up used to make us look like vampires. readin all the “Bella and Edwards favorite books”, too.

  21.  

    With a customizable ruby stain

    How is it customizable?

    I bet they’d sell more if they said it turns you into a vampire.

  22.  

    It’s supposed to be made with real venom. It’s implied that it will turn you into a vampire.

    I wonder if you can refrigerate it so your lips are cold…

  23.  

    Venomizer:

    Have you ever wanted to become an undead, demonic, hottie? Well now you can with the Venomizer! Just spread some on your lips, and Wah la! You are now a perfect smeyerpire! You will now attract helpless Earth girls and boys with little to no effort on your part. Do with them what you will.

    Cooling agent sold separately.