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    • CommentTimeAug 18th 2009 edited

    This just popped into my head randomly. Anyone have an idea for the II theme song?

    I wrote a stanza or two (to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries):

    Kill the fangirls,
    Kill the fangirls,
    Kill the fangirls,
    And Mary Sues!

    We are awesome,
    We are awesome,
    We are great and
    Have nothing to lose!

    We will spork them,
    Send-to-Forks them
    Pelt-with-corks them
    We will not lose!

    OK, lame, but can anyone do better? Post your ideas here.

    EDIT: I added a new verse to replace the “awesome” one.


    XD I’m not much of a song writer, but I’d like to see what other people come up with.


    The first stanza is alright. The “We are awesome,” while true, makes us sound very full of ourselves.

    I too am not much of a song writer. I like the tune you chose though.


    To the Tune of the Angry Video Game Nerd’s theme song:

    We’re gonna critique some trash
    To to spork some crappy books that suck ass
    We will mock Eragon
    Because that book is rather lame.
    We think that it’s great fun
    To go to his forums and flame.
    We’re the coolest critics around here
    The entire world shakes in fear.
    Twilight fans should beware.
    Of us at Impish Idea….

    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2009

    I ran that through with the AVGN theme in mind, and it ran decently :)

    I don’t think the profane, angry lyrics path is one we really want to walk down, though. I mean, we’re above that, right?


    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2009 edited

    Sung to the theme of “Piano Man” by Billy Joel

    It’s a regular day on the internet
    The usual Imps all sign on
    to preach reason and wit on the internet
    Until all of the fanbrats are gone

    [harmonica solo]

    You see, crap has become really popular
    Don’t ask me; I’m not sure quite how
    Rabid fans scream for Twilight and Eragon
    It’s a sad sight we imps can’t allow

    [la da da didy da… la la didy da da da]


    Imps, grab a spork and disseminate
    Spread your dark wings and unite
    For bad books have large followings everywhere
    With our sporks and our quills we will fight!


    That is amazing.


    That is win, Artimaeus.


    Correction: epic win.


    Okay, I don’t think I can beat that (it was awesome), but here goes…

    To the tune of This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole…

    This will be
    A Twi-hard paradise
    We can see
    Literature’s demise
    This will be
    The first time anyone
    Has critiqued…. oh, oh oh oh!

    I’m so glad
    I found Imps in time
    I’m so glad that
    They rectified my mind
    This will be
    The last time anyone
    Will go squee…...

    Impish I
    Is some kinda wonderful
    Because they’ve shown us
    Just how much Twi scares
    They’ve given us
    The weapons we needed
    When we’ve read critiques,
    We can buy shirts to wear, oh!

    Can we be
    Impish, please?
    Yes, sirree!

    We’re laughing and sporking and “Edward’s-a-dork”-ing
    We’ll mock it forever
    Because we’re so clever!

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
    Don’t you see?

    So long as we’re living,
    True sporks we’ll be giving,
    Twi-hards we’re unnerving,
    Cause they’re so deserving

    Hey! Twilight deserves it!
    So come on!
    we’re II, yeah,
    So come on!
    we’re II, yeah… (fade out)


    Sorry, epic win. D:

    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2009 edited

    This is slightly off topic, but I thought it was hilarious. Watchmen as a Saturday Morning cartoon


    “Edward’s-a-dork”-ing, lol. <3


    I ran that through with the AVGN theme in mind, and it ran decently :)

    It rhymes because I’m Bostonian. :D


    ^^ I have a selective Boston accent. :D


    To the tune of “Blowing in the Wind”:

    How many books must a person write
    Before they can critique crap?
    Yes, ‘n how many vids must my sister watch
    Before she begins to hate rap?
    Yes, ‘n how many times must the fangirls squee
    Before we’re allowed to bitch-slap?
    The answer, my Imps, is on Impish Idea,
    The answer is on Impish Idea._

    How many times can a man steal stuff
    Before he is finally sued?
    Yes, ‘n how many years must one man age
    For him to stop being a dude?
    Yes, ‘n how many posts will it take till he knows
    That his character has been Stu’ed?
    The answer, my friend, is on Impish Idea,
    The answer is Impish Idea.

    How many years must a teenager age
    ‘Fore her imagination ends?
    Yes, ‘n how many Sues must we live through
    Before their writers get some friends?
    Yes, ‘n how long must the fans and smart folks fight,
    Before they fin’lly make amends?
    The answer, my friend, is on Impish Idea,
    The answer is on Impish Idea.

    Not too good, but not too bad, if I do say so myself.


    The lyrics are very good. I don’t know if they match up with the song, I’ll look it up later.


    Artistic license. I has it.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2009 edited



    I actually know the melody to this song. It seems fitting. The lyrics are gold.


    I don’t know this song, but I love it. My favorite stanza is:

    I lost my virginity
    But you took it perfectly
    Spare me your frickin guilt complex
    Now don’t blame me

    Also, I got the reference in this:

    Get me the bruise balm baby

    <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 19th 2009


    I wonder if I can find a good karaoke track for this song…




    Do you see the Critics Spork?


    Do you see the critcs spork?
    Sporking the lame books people write
    It is the pastime of the people who really hate Twilight!
    We will write an article
    About how Eragon is dull
    It all happens here
    At Impish Idea!

    Will you lend a hand in sporking Maradonia?
    Will you stand against that twerp who we call Glotia,
    Who posts on our pages, trying to start a flame war!


    Who will join in a crusade, and spork a book with me?
    If you miss Anti-Shurtgaul, there’s a page you ought to see!
    Impish Idea is the place to be!


    I love it! What tune is it?

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2009

    Do You Hear The People Sing, from Les Mis. It is awesome.


    We listened to that song in my world history class this year. :D

    • CommentTimeAug 20th 2009 edited

    Thank you. Now I have I Dreamed A Dream stuck in my head. But now I know the tune! Thanks!