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General: The Assassination Game

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  1.  

    Ahemhemhem, [puts on Virgil’s voice]

    This is a fun game to play.

    Namely, you must dodge the attack from the poster above you, then kill the poster above you, then launch an attack on the future poster below you. The idea is to be as extravagant and theatrical as possible.

    [slowly winches up a heavy spike trap, waiting for the next poster]

    Time Loop!

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    [shows up with Captain America’s shield and uses it to deflect the spike at Virgil]

    That sounds a lot like the metamorphosis game from The Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes. (wish Nate could find the image for it)

    [rigs the entire building with explosives]

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    [runs in real quick and reconfigures the explosives to shoot off fireworks and spell out ‘HAHA I GOT YOU, AND THE NEXT POSTER’S DRINK IS POISON!’]

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    [has been building up an immunity to iodine poison over the last several years, both him and Virgil drink, and Virgil dies]

    [fires a tactical missile at the next poster]

    • CommentAuthorDrAlligator
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    [pulls out his handy, pocketable, tactical missile to tactile missile converter, which converts the missile to something that always has to be touched in order to function. it falls to the ground, sinking Atlantis.]

    [removes the w and i key from the next poster’s keyboard, causing him / her to slowly die of insanity]

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    Too slow, DrA. ;P

  7.  

    Wait… now there are two of me? What have we done?

  8.  

    Too slow, Virgil.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    [pulls out his handy, pocketable, tactical missile to tactile missile converter, which converts the missile to something that always has to be touched in order to function. it falls to the ground, sinking Atlantis.]

    [removes the w and i key from the next poster’s keyboard, causing him / her to slowly die of insanity]

  10.  

    Wait… now there are two of me? What have we done?

    Puppet rewound the tape (what is this, the 90s?) so now we’re at the beginning of the show thread again.

  11.  

    Too slow, Virgil.

    Man this time loop is nucking futs.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    Wait, what?! Why is Puppet impersonating Virgil?

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    [finds out that he is The One, then proceeds to dodge the bullet in awesome slow motion]

    [with his new mind control device, commands a giant squid to attack the next poster, who is on vacation on a cruise ship]

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    Devin killed me, so my spirit took the empty body of Virgil.

  15.  

    Woah woah woah, what the hell is going on, I said what the hell is going on?!

    For the uninitiated, that was… Virgil, not Puppet, not… wait what

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    ...I see.

  17.  

    [Grabs a flamethrower and torches the book. Then, Puppet subsequently gets reduced to flames.]

    [Throws the next poster in a black hole.]

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    [Uses Sufficiently Advanced Technology™ to set off super nova inside black hole, canceling it out (hey it worked on Doctor Who…)]

    [Commandeers nearest Imperial Battleship and calls down Exterminatus on next poster]

    That’s right, redirect my attack towards Puppet…

  19.  

    Remember, you have to dodge the attack, then proceed to kill the attacker , then attack the next poster.

    [Calls in a Galaxy Strike by God TM to destroy the Imperial Battleship. ]

    Vader thinks I’m cool, and [force chokes Moldorm].

    [collects the total energy of all the idiots and fucktards playing Xbox Live, and focuses it as a zero point beam on the next poster]

  20.  

    poof
    Sup guys! Check out my laser eye-patch!

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    Tell us about the future!
    Are there aliens?

  22.  

    Hail, Satan

    Are there any elephants?

    Is there any more unethical treatment of elephants?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    Sup guys! Check out my laser eye-patch!

    Have we met…?

  24.  

    No. We accidentally time warped them, too.

  25.  

    :O

    Lawd above.

    The world’s gone mad.

    PUPPET, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

    COME HERE

    COME HERE YOU ARSE

    I’M GONNA THROTTLE YOU

    woah, time loops. The muck with your mind.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    You already tried that on me.
    The move hasn’t cooled own yet. Try again in another couple of hours.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    EVe y I R Th g

    i S Go I N G M A D
  28.  

    You spelled Monahan wrong.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     
    • CommentAuthorDrAlligator
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    Ok guys, I’ve built a machine called The Timescalator.

    It’s an escalater.

    That’ll take us back in time.

    If we use it, we can get out of this mess. We can keep Puppet from watching those deleted scenes that lead to the death of Humanity and save Devin from losing his right eye to the Terminator. Thus everyone will be safe, and I remain as one of Five Princes of the Universe.

    There’s only one problem.

    It runs on Unobtainium.

    This rare fuel exists only on the sun’s surface.

    What say you?

    Shall we go?

    Shall we venture to Hell itself and back?

    Shall we save the world?

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009 edited
     

    I think that this is a good idea.

    Just try not to bring back Explodium instead. I hear the two are very similar.

  32.  

    I feel a roleplaying thread coming up.

  33.  

    Tell us about the future!
    Are there aliens?

    There are aliens now. Jeez…

  34.  

    Yeah… when I said we time warped the aliens, well, some of them were your ancestors, SMART.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009
     

    Oh, I thought that was just an urban legend.

1 to 35 of 35

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