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General Reading: SWORDBIRD!!

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  1.  
    I can't believe this book hasn't been talked about here, yet. It was written by an 11 year old girl, who wanted to share her vision of peace and freedom with the world. By writing a book about cute little birdies with swords.

    http://www.swordbird.googlepages.com/index.htm


    I think it was supposed to be some kind of allegory about 9-11, but I'm not seeing it.
  2.  
    It looks like a fledgling (haha) attempt at Redwall, only with bird poo too.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009 edited
     

    I have to admit, the prequel Sword Quest sounds interesting, if only because it has freaking ARCHAEOPTERYXES!

    An excerpt can be found at http://www.harpercollins.com/books/9780061130991/Swordbird/excerpt.aspx .

  4.  

    Good Gawd, the girl’s my age. I am ashamed of my generation.

    Hehe, found this…

    9/23/2008

    Brisingr, the third book in Christopher Paolini’s Inheritance Cycle, has come out. I was asked to write an essay on Paolini’s books, so I decided to focus on something I was familiar with: why we use anthropomorphic animals in literature (animals with human-like characteristics, such as the talking birds in my books Swordbird and Sword Quest and Paolini’s dragons!). My essay, “The Magic of Anthropomorphic Animals,” is in the anthology Secrets of the Dragon Riders, edited by James Owen, found exclusively in Borders bookstores. It’s cool that parts of Brisingr are written from the dragon’s perspective.

  5.  

    Dude, she was a child when she wrote it. For someone that age it is very good, a lot better than anything I wrote when I was eleven. Honestly, to me this looks like the publisher trying to cash in on the child author gimmick, not a bad writer. And she says she is glad that some of Brisinger was written from Saphira’s POV. Aren’t we all glad to see her characterized beyond Eragon’s pet? This is in no way on the shit-level of Twilight, Inheritance, Dragons: LT, or Maradonia.

  6.  

    Good point. It could be worse. She could be another Gloatia.

  7.  

    Is it a little something like Redwall?

  8.  

    This is the book that Gloatia refers to as a short story because it’s less then 400 pages.
    Has anyone actually read it?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009
     

    Because it’s less then 400 pages? Uhg, I hat how Gloatia thinks page count matters most when it comes to writing.

  10.  

    Yes, she says that she is technically the world’s youngest novelist because Swordbird isn’t long enough to be a novel. I looked for Swordbird’s word count, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009 edited
     

    I really despise Gloatia because she’s so damn annoying about her writing, CP is at least tolerable. =/

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009
     

    Also if she thinks pages count so much, get a load of this:

    In the 81 years since Marcel Proust’s death, ‘‘In Search of Lost Time’‘ has come to seem ever more indispensable. It’s remarkable that this 3,000-page novel, initially dismissed by many as the work of a self-indulgent neurotic dilettante, has become the crucial modernist work, overtopping the books of even such giants as Joyce and Mann.

    Yeah, 3000 pages.

  13.  

    Lol… in Little Miss Sunshine, Steve Carell is the number one Proust scholar.

    I don’t know if I’d be up for reading a 3,000 page novel.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009
     

    That’s, like, three times longer than LotR! I’d never finish it! (it’s probably boring, too.)

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 20th 2009
     

    Eh, Song of Ice and Fire, each book is around 1,000 pages more or less. Though I guess it is a different genre. :P

  16.  
    I have read this book, and I can attest to it's suckishness. It's TERRIBLE.
  17.  

    Is it better thatn Maradonia though? It has to be because 150 (I’m estimating) pages of suck is better than 800 pages of suck.

  18.  
    The spelling and grammar are far better. The plot and writing aren't much. It shouldn't have been published.
  19.  

    Was it published by an actual publisher?

  20.  
    Yes, indeedy. Harpercollins.
  21.  

    The spelling and grammar are far better.

    Well, that’s something.

  22.  

    And at least it went through some editing process besides “That’s great, honey!” and “My little angel is such a terrific speller!”.

  23.  

    “My little angel is such a terrific speller!”.

    Lol.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeJul 21st 2009 edited
     

    We had a thread about this on the old forums, actually. I agree that the book probably shouldn’t have been published, but that’s hardly the fault of the author. Nobody is writing high quality material at 11. It just a marketing gimmick. The girl who wrote this actually goes to my highschool. I’m hoping that she joins the writing club; it’d be interesting to get to know her.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeJul 21st 2009 edited
     

    A novel is often defined as a work of fiction of around 40,000 words but nowadays usually comprises many more (70,000-150,000), but see Uncle Orson’s Writing Class in related links.

    Novellas are defined as works of around 20,000 to 50,000 words, and novellettes as between 7,500 to 20,000 words (anything less is a short story). Both short stories and novellettes are hard to sell to publisers in general.

    A ‘novelist’ can be defined as an author of either novellas or novels.

    Bearing this standard in mind, Daisy Ashford (1881-1972), full name Margaret Mary Julia Ashford, wrote the novella The Young Visiters: Or, Mister Salteena’s Plan, published in 1919, when she was 9 years old, and qualifies her as (probably) the world’s youngest novelist.

  26.  

    Yes! 9 beats 12 (I think that’s how old Gloatia was). That would be a good post for Gloatia’s MySpace or YouTube, or any of her sites really.

  27.  

    The girl who wrote this actually goes to my highschool.

    Really? Awesome!

    Yes! 9 beats 12 (I think that’s how old Gloatia was).

    She was 14. Even better.

  28.  

    She was 14. Even better.

    Double YES!!! Even if this girl is a crappy author, I like her for this reason alone.

    • CommentAuthorWitrin
    • CommentTimeJul 25th 2009
     

    published in 1919

    Doesn’t Gloatia claim to be the youngest published author?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009 edited
     

    Doesn’t Gloatia claim to be the youngest published author?

    Her exact claim to fame is “world’s youngest novelist,” as told to her by her sockpuppet, Michelle:

    I think you may be the world’s youngest novelist!
    February 05, 2009 // Posted by: Michelle // Category: Guestbook
    Hi Gloria,

    I am looking forward to reading your novel Maradonia and the Seven Bridges this weekend. How cool that you already have a following.

    Thanks, Michelle

    Just to demonstrate the sockpuppet theme:

    Jeff Whitney Says:
    May 9th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
    Miss Tesch has written one of the best and most interesting novels that I have ever had the pleasure to read. Her first printing of MARADONIA and the SEVEN BRIDGES was not properly edited, and it was still a great work of literary art at its finest. This young girl truely has a great talent for writing a good book. Anyone who disagrees with my comments needs to go back and read this book again, this time keep your eyes and your mind open. I haven’t seen your 810 page novel out there. Miss Gloria Tesch is a refreshing brath of air in the literary arts. Looking forward to seeing many more of her works of the written word. One more comment; the art work in her books is truely that, ARTWORK, which I believe any GALLERY would be PROUD to have on display, TRUELY BEAUTIFUL WORK. Thank You Gloria and Marina, two true artists in thier fields. Respectfully, Jeff Whitney

    EDIT: A Google search for “world’s youngest novelist” gave me nothing but Gloatia, except for one article about a Suadi girl… in which Gloatia is mentioned. Yeah.

    • CommentAuthorWitrin
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009
     

    That girl is just scary.
    Pfft. 810 page novel: in less than a second a monkey with MS Word could turn you into a 120 page novel with a normal font. In under a minute, said monkey could fix all one tenth of your grammar problems simply by clicking ‘change’ for every grammar&style window that popped up. Quotations, ironical.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJul 26th 2009
     

    Truely, a refreshing brath.

  33.  

    I don’t think that Gloatia wrote those comments; they are too grammatically correct. Maybe Mommy wrote them.

  34.  

    Yeah, the way the comments praise the artwork makes me think it was her mother.

  35.  

    It probably was.

  36.  

    The artwork is ugly. It’s not completely horribly drawn. But the cover, for example, is just a really ugly picture. She is better than a lot of people at drawing, but not good enough to be praised.

    EDIT:

    Daisy Ashford (1881-1972), full name Margaret Mary Julia Ashford

    Just thought about this, how is “Daisy” in any way related to her real name?

  37.  

    She changed her name so she could marry Jay Gatsby?

  38.  

    Lol. That must be it.

  39.  

    We had a thread about this on the old forums, actually. I agree that the book probably shouldn’t have been published, but that’s hardly the fault of the author. Nobody is writing high quality material at 11. It just a marketing gimmick. The girl who wrote this actually goes to my highschool. I’m hoping that she joins the writing club; it’d be interesting to get to know her.

    Have you talked to her? I think it would be interesting, if not sweet, to talk to someone who got published by actually sending their work out (not looking at you, Paolini).

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