One of my friends recently went to a writer's conference, and came back with treasured tips which I found to hilarious not to spork.

1) Go online and look up make up [websites] for new color words.
Envisioning Paolini's internet history: "Google"; "Sephora"; "M.A.C."; "Umlauts 'r Us"
2) conflict is 2 dogs and 1 bone
No. Wai. Never saw that one coming.
3) The reader brings your book to life.
In other words: it's okay if they hate your book, it's the reader's fault. *pat pat* If the reader is evil and mean (and actually cynical), they'll tear even YOUR wonderful book to pieces!

I still giggle whenever I read such "inspiring" stuff written by authors and happily spewed at writer's conferences and then compare it with the cynical and clever articles published on editor and agent blogs. I'm pretty confident in saying that we have the latter audience on our side.

Heh, I think this illustrates the problems brought up by the New Yorker article I posted earlier. Lots of writer’s conferences are full of fail.

It sounds like humanity all over again, everyone putting up a façade of what is supposedly the norm and ideal.

fixed

@Steph: Adopt me please.

Yeah, as my dad said: use make up words so that NO one will know what you mean.

James Joyce was pretty smart tho.

I don’t understand what you mean when you call writing common. Creative writing, which is what we’re talking about, is an art. Of course there are no set rules – only guidelines. Instead of saying “This is what to do” we should focus on how to avoid pitfalls: plot holes, false characterisation, etc. We should be thinking of how we can go about avoiding these and making something beautiful within our own limitations as a writer, because I think each writer has his or her own personal rules made out of their own experiences which cannot be generalised to all other writers.

‘They’re not really rules, more like guidelines’

-Captain Barbossa

Sorry, couldn’t help quoting. Very true, dr.alligator.