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    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2013 edited

    An odd title, yes. But I need your help on this.

    In the books I’m writing, some of the characters engage in sexual intercourse, and I simply feel uncomfortable writing about it in detail. I wanted to know how you guys handle sex scenes, and maybe give me some tips on how to write some without getting too graphic.

    I am aware that sex is a bad way to develop romance, but that’s not chiefly why it happens in the story. But it does indeed happen, and there’s no way to avoid it without suspending the gritty realism that is my style.

    Thanks for your help.


    Personal opinion: I’d go with the “fade to black” approach, where you lead up to it heavily imply that is what is going to happen but not describe the actual sex. You can further make clear what actually happened when writing the aftermath.

    I’ve never written a sex scene, but this is approach I would use if it came up.

    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2013

    Thanks for the input. That seems like a good method, and I’ll definitely play around with it.

    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2013

    What NP said. It’s not the sex itself that’s important, it’s about the interaction between the characters.

    Plus, there’s really a fine line between writing a romantic sex scene and just writing porn.


    Echoing the advice of “don’t.” It’s really tough to write sex without it reading really ridiculously, so you’re probably just gonna have to suspend the gritty realism that is your style and write the consequences instead.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeSep 11th 2013

    Yeah. Or you could the GRRM route of “no sex that is possible to be read without suffering on the part of the reader.”

    • CommentTimeSep 12th 2013 edited

    One of the most singularly successful methods I’ve ever been taught is to focus on emotion and metaphor of the characters rather than the physicality of the act.

    However, when I’m not being forced to write a sex scene by a university tutor (i.e. write it or fail), I prefer the fade to black approach. Insinuate, don’t put it out there. A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, and an author should exercise discretion.

    Also: Subject title reminds me of this.