As I was sitting here struggling to write my next sentence, I thought maybe this could be a useful topic. I couldn’t find the equivalent, so sorry if it already exists.

Although I have a particular question, it would be good if it were used a little more generally for other people with problems or ideas on the actual craft of writing.

What I’m specifically struggling with in starting my sentence is beginning sentences with time based openers. “At last…” “Finally,” “Suddenly,” etc.

I feel like I’m using these beginnings far too often and I’m wondering if there is better alternatives. Not necessarily by abusing the thesaurus, but rather the actual sentence construction of always using those time based words. Or perhaps the nature of the beast is that given a long enough work, I’m going to get a lot of these sentence openers anyways. Is it possible to over-use these openers or am I over-thinking my writing?

Hm, yeah I guess that is the case. Are there some good alternatives to indicating time has passed without using At last, Finally, Suddenly without it sounding too wordy/ awkward?

I like what Sen said. But as for using things like "suddenly" for immediate actions, I kind of got sick of using that word for the most part so for quick actions I should just have a short sentence describing what happened. The reader should be smart enough to realise it happened straight away.
My first chapter skips days and weeks so I think I just basically said over the next week stuff happened. Yeah....

“Suddenly” is so often misused by writers who don’t know better that using “suddenly” to start any sentence is practically an instant indicator of incompetence. Every time I see a “suddenly X happened”, I cringe and die a little inside. I would strongly recommend avoiding “suddenly” at all costs.

Anyway, seconding Taku and Sen. They already said everything else I was going to say.

i used suddenly a lot in my first two drafts but it has been something i have been actively eliminating in the third one though i left it in for the few instances where it actually seemed appropriate

ditto for finally

a recurring problem i tend to have is finding a way of constructing a sentence that i think communicates what i am going for just by its structure and then if i do find it not running it into the ground in situations where said construction isnt necessary

I dunno, SWQ. That one was pretty good.

Also, I really liked how Sen explained it. For sure, ditching words like ‘suddenly’ and ‘at last’ and such in favor of mini descriptors is great for variation. I think everything has its place, I guess you just need to figure out what fits best where.

I just realized now that you also asked on how to avoid “Suddenly”. I didn’t say anything on that one, did I? That’s a very difficult one. When it comes to movements, I don’t always use: Suddenly, he was up on his feet. With movements, words are much easier to play around with. So I sometimes use: He was up on his feet in an instant. Or “He whipped around” or something like that. There’s plenty of words out there indicating quick movement; rapidly, swiftly, etc.

As for stuff appearing out of nowhere, well that’s an even tougher one. For me, at least. There’s not many other ways to describe something that appears, just like that. Sometimes you can use words like immediately or instantly, but it depends on what you’re trying to say, so this kind of substitution doesn’t always work. Hopefully, you don’t have that many surprises in your story. If you don’t, then using “suddenly” whenever need be, won’t be a bad idea. There’s not much else I can add to this. Sorry.

I cannot remember for the life of my where I found it, but one of the writing advice books I own has a section on ‘suddenly’ that has a paragraph like:

Suddenly, I woke up. All of a sudden I decided to make coffee, when I suddenly went out to get the paper. Suddenly, I scrambled some eggs…

etc. Only the original was much funnier.

Okay, I know this thread was meant for the more technical stuff of writing, but I wasn’t sure where else to put this, so I hope Falling doesn’t mind.

Now I feel incredibly stupid for asking this, but … what exactly does snow feel like? I tried searching up answers for this, but didn’t really get what I wanted. Apparently if you put ice in a blender and crush it, you’ll get something close to snow. So can it be fluffy?

Because you see, my characters are all from different regions and some have seen snow, and of course, some haven’t. I need to describe the experience for those who’ve never seen it. They make the mistake of assuming it’s as soft as powder. But now I’m thinking I was wrong for saying that because what if it really can be quite soft sometimes?

And how would it feel if you stood on it barefoot for a couple minutes? Your feet would burn, right? I thought it was obvious that it would, I mean it’s ice, but then if it fell very softly and wasn’t very compact or anything then it would not be really like standing on a flat sheet of ice, would it? Which would mean I was wrong and it doesn’t necessarily burn…

???

Gosh, this is a bit silly, but I don’t want to get any facts wrong.

Snowfall differs at ground level based on ground temp, air temp, and humidity. If the ground or the air at ground level is above freezing, snow will melt a bit and be wet, heavy, and sticky. This is “snowball snow”, the stuff it’s possible to make three-story buildings out of. If it’s really really frickin’ cold, snow will be light, powdery, and thin, like really large and grainy flour. “Wet” snow will tend to have larger flakes because the stuff clumps in formation, and it will fall faster and heavier. “Dry” snow tends to drift in the air, and blows around on the ground once it lands. In literature these two types of snowfall are often muddled together, and that’s close enough.

Snow can be soft as powder, yeah, and will feel “soft” on bare skin, but it’ll hurt. Really, it’s a yes and no. Yes, snow is soft, but yes, it will “burn” exposed skin, because it’s not a pressure issue (ie snow does not have the jagged edges of crushed ice) but a temperature difference issue (ie snow and ice are both much colder than your body). It’ll hurt your nerves because it’s so cold.

And shredded ice is not a suitable substitute for real snow, whatever the ski resorts around my area seem to think. :D

Hope that helps.

In the upper reaches of North America we get soft, light snow which can build to a depth of as much as ten or eleven feet in the mountains. It’s dangerous to travel on because if you break the surface it’s nearly impossible to get back out.

If you stepped barefoot into snow, you would instantly jump back to anything even remotely not snow-covered. Snow is cold and miserable to bare skin. You certainly wouldn’t want to stand there for very long. You can run through or over snow with bare feet OK, but standing in one spot for any length of time would very quickly become miserable.

Snow also packs down quite quickly, either getting wet and slushy if it’s warmer/slushy snow or just compacting if it’s colder, harder snow. If you were to stand in it, it wouldn’t feel soft, it would probably feel quite hard, actually. It’s fluffy-ish in the sense that if it’s powdery snow, you can run your fingers through it and fling it into the air in a cloud, or if it’s packing snow you can still at least press your hand into it gently, but if you apply much pressure to it, it just compacts. This is why snowballs hurt. :)

Note, too, that you can’t make powder-grade snow into a snowball. I’ve tried and failed more than once.

bq. Snow from the hoods and windshields of cars is nearly always weapons-grade.

And digging out behind a drift with a snow shovel makes an ideal trench/fortress.

Yeah, “sticky” snow is the best for snowballs, but in a pinch, slightly wet snow will still work.