Anything by Sidney Sheldon, Tom Clancy, etc.

Don’t read them. They are BLARGH. And GNASH TEETH and WHY THE HECK IS HE SO POPULAR?

Someone on the old forum mentioned The Mysterious Benedict Society. I don’t think that it’s popular enough to warrant front-page placement, though (and it certainly isn’t as bad as Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate).

I found Orcs by Stan Nicholls to be utterly terrible. The characters, although the book claims they are orcs, act more like cardboard cutouts in makeup, and to be honest I gave up around the time he devoted 3 pages to a soldier getting his leg amputated. The Eval queen whose purpose seemed to be to get angry and randomly rape and murder her servants didn’t exactly help.

Oh God, I hate hate hate Gossip Girl.

I’ve done neither. I just read the plot synopsis, and dislike people who like the show.

Yeah, books that go on forever are a huge turnoff to me. After about seven (lol guess) it seems like they’re just milking the cash cow.

But Bella loves Wuthering Heights!

I don’t care if it’s long outlived its freshness, I will always love Artemis Fowl.

yeah, ditto. though I felt it was a bit obvious… Artemis/Juliet seems more natural. Not that I write slash…

(I ship Butler/Mulch)

yeah, he’s butler, not godzilla. :P

(Julius/Foaly, anyone?)

(Shuttle Gnome/Koboi?)

that’s so obvious though. cudgeon/julius. because they hate each other so much. :P

I liked the Artemis Fowl books up until The Lost Colony. Then there were retarded time travel plots and Captain Planet-level anvilicious environmental messages.

I LOVE CAPTAIN PLANET! D:

Artemis/Minerva. They’re made for each other.
And Juliet/the pizza delivery boy she is said to have suplexed in book 1.

I hate R&J despite the fact that I’ve never read it. Cause doesn’t Romeo fall in love with some girl and he’s about to marry her and then he meets Juliet and ditches her?

R&J isn’t romantic. Shakespeare was writing a cautionary tale about how dangerous and stupid teenage romance is. Bella, of course, didn’t realize this in the least, and didn’t see how it applied to her.

It’s unlikely, given Bella’s Sueness, but it’s possible that Smeyer was being deliberately ironic in her literary references.

Wait what? After Lost Colony, Minerva was three years older than Arty wasn’t she? That was how Foaly explained it at least…

In any case, those are some disgusting pairings right there. Even Arty/Holly is so messed up you can’t put it into words….Colfer said himself that the most likely pairing for Holly would be Trouble Kelp.

Oh and Time Paradox was AWESOME! It was pulled off so convincingly that even with the holes in the theory of relativity and time paradoxes, Colfer only managed a few mistakes. That’s pretty excellent in my mind. Generally the first few books were better though; there was nothing like Artemis clasping his hands and walking through the most diabollically nefarious plan that just works. The latter ones have lost that spark but made up for it in character development I guess.

Still can’t get that quote out of my head though: “I have a friend. He has all the numbers!”

Anyone seen the movie with DiCaprio? It’s the only reason I can stand R&J, poor me had to study it in English Lit for two years…

Loafers McGuire/Angela…? XD

Oh…that’s…disturbing.

Isn’t Angeline Arty’s mum? She’s married and her husband is alive and well. That would be a serious social farce.

Artemis/Minerva!! Yes! Finally someone agrees with me! I don’t understand all these weird Arty/Holly shippers… just… EW. NO. NEVER. I mean, there’s a height difference of at least two feet, plus the fact that they’re completely different species! I simply don’t get inter-species relationships, not even like elf/human. I mean, does your dog fall in love with your cat? (well, maybe your dog, but not most) That’s just… shudder Ew!

they’re species that’re almost exactly alike though. it’s not like dog/cat, it’s like if a newfoundland fell in love with a st. bernard. is that so wrong?

Different species when it comes to like, elves, though… As they’re based on humans, they bear almost entirely human, er, anatomy. And aesthetic appearance is usually exactly the same save for a set of Spock ears.

Yeah, Angeline/Arty = EW. What’s with the concern with height with Holly/Arty? Anyhoo, I still don’t think Arty/Minerva would ever work out; they’d drive each other MAD!

Yeah, thank you Mongoose.

For some reason, the idea of a supervillainess the size of a four year old doesn’t quite cut it for me. The massive monster that Butler fought in Book1, now THAT was a villain!

I enjoyed The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy, then went on to find out every other one of his books is the exact same, with a little word substitution. Formulaic writing is so gross.

I have to agree with Durandalski, I read the Terminal Man a few weeks ago and haaaaaated it. Jurassic Park wasn’t too bad but…ew.

I hate any book that has a message the author decides everyone needs to know, so the whole time it’s “GLOBAL WARMING IS BAD” at the sacrifice of a storyline. It’s okay if you want to project your ideas and you can do it discreetly enough, but when it’s not done right the book becomes an epic fail.

I read Sphere by Crichton about two weeks ago. It wasn’t too bad, but the power he bestows upon everyone (and I do mean everyone) has more loopholes than Paolini’s magic system.

That’s awfully porous.

I imagine myself as the supreme ruler of the universe, and no one else has this imagination power.

...

Do I need to say anything else?

I’ve been hearing a lot about that book. Glad to know I didn’t waste my time?

I say read it. I really enjoyed it, sure, the ending wasn’t as satisfying as I would have liked, but, the ultimate message wasn’t revenge.

Spoilers:

1)Its true when the first person obtained it no one knew, but in the end anyone could do the process to get, and they all knew they had it.

2) Sometimes, yes, but one of the major twists in the book is that one of the characters is creating something subconsciously.

Oh, it’s the only of his I’ve read, but I did enjoy it. The only thing that really bugged me was no one thought “I’m safe, above land, and decompressed.”

1)That actually happens in the book. It then turns into a battle of willpower. Which raises another thing that bugs me. A hysterical woman seems more capable than two calm men, one of whom is a psychologist/psychiatrist, the other a mathematician.

2) Tha main character actually controls his subconscious at the end, psychoanalyzing himself to the point where he pretty much has no subconscious, because he acknowledges everything going on.

What is a clam man? Does he go dig up clams and sell them in the market? Why are there two clam men? I am confused. I think I need a diagram.

What were the plotholes in the first 3 books of Maximum Ride? I don’t recall any, but then again, I wasn’t reading to pick them up.

And, Sly and Amelie, I loved My Sister’s Keeper, and I thought the ending was actually okay. Although, I went into that book knowing that , so I guess that changed how I looked at it.

I stopped reading Jodi Picoult after I read another book of hers, The Pact, though. The ending to THAT one sucked, and why did Emily have to die? (this is not a spoiler, they tell you she died on the blurb). Plus, the whole thing with Jodi Picoult is that she’s written so many ‘issues’ books that eventually it just looks like she’s bought a whole herd of cash cows.

I mean, I’m sure they’re all well-written, but you just can’t take them seriously.

Wow. See, folks, this is what happens when you don’t pay attention.