Not signed in (Sign In)


Vanilla 1.1.8 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

Welcome Guest!
Want to take part in these discussions? If you have an account, sign in now.
If you don't have an account, apply for one now.

    I’m pretty sure this topic has been created before, but I failed to find in the last few pages, so…

    I’m creating this so we can all dance share our shiny magic systems and kill help each other!

    I’ll start by asking for help!
    Below is a magic system I ‘created’ for my first book, I’m trying to keep it simple while avoiding and effectively removing a whole lot of cliche’s that almost drowned me to death.

    I basically need help in locating the existence of potentially wholesome holes in the system.

    I won’t be elaborating much on the ‘language’ used, but will simply refer to it as ‘XYZ chanted the arcane/magic/whatever letters (can’t find an appropriate term)’ as opposed to gibberish such as “bjartskular esgaroth sukuma, soma en garde!”

    I have effectively removed the ‘undead’ that plagued the story before; the flesh eating Maersidium folk are just there for creeps (and lite convenience regarding few plot points).

    Elyrium was before a big DXMachina, but I’ve integrated it well into the story, thus making it make sense… by the maker!

    I have possibly described essences horribly.

    I haven’t really edited or re-read, so pardon some errors : /

    I can explain some things in detail (or rather, to the point) if they’re not clear.

    Fun Fact!: I nearly named something ‘Resonance Cascade’ : s


    The silence is painful :’(

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2010

    This sounds interesting.

    Nothing really jumps out at me as potential holes in the system. Beside tiredness and death, what other limits and cons are there? I might have missed some since I have a headache at the moment and the information were in blocks and not very easy to ‘digest’.

    Sorry I’m not much of help; I’m not exactly the most knowledgeable person on magic system. I’m doing my best though. :)

    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2010 edited
    Probably more due to my intelligence, but I got a bit lost reading all that. I'm sure if you gradually explain how these things work throughout your story it'd be very easy to understand but the huge info dump got me confused. But from what I can tell you've got some very interesting concepts . I like all the soul stuff. Not sure about the essence and stone stuff. I couldn't really tell if there's any huge holes in the system. I'd have to really think about it. And now to confuse you with an info dump of my system.


    Yeah, I hate infodumps so I avoid them at all costs. I prefer explaining things gradually, along with the story.

    I’ll read your infodump system when my head isn’t singing hurting : /


    @crab; I think its neat, though if you can send forth some limitations it’ll clear things up.
    Sounds very battlemage-esque, which I like, since I like battlemages and so I like it !

    • CommentTimeJun 19th 2010

    I don’t think I can really offer my opinion here, because in my eyes the best magic systems are unexplained and unexplainable, without limitation and yet inherently weak.

    That being said, yours is one of the better systems I’ve seen.

    Be careful, though, how you handle your concept of Soul. It sounds remarkably similar to the Chinese concept of Chi (Qi), and the Maersidium and Elyrium ideas sound much like the regional Chinese concepts of chi and sha as understood in feng shui.

    My one piece of advice would be don’t make it too much like a commodity or trade, or it will lose the sense of mystery and awe that makes our concept of “magic” what it is. If you go too overboard with micro-details about the rarity or distillaton process of Elyrium, then it’s just another alchemy, a trade or science at the same level as blacksmithing and apothecary. Sometimes, and especially with magic, less is more. Leave some things deliberately vague or doubtful, and the gap may be filled by a sense of wonder and majesty and awe-inspiring profundity.

    That's some pretty good advice, Taku. See that's one reason why I dont talk much in these threads about writing. I dont really have advice to give cos I dont think I know anything. Or at least I can't articulate what I know.

    And Lala I forgot to say I also liked the blood magic a lot. You'll be able to do a lot of dark gruesome cool stuff with that I think.