Stop Wasting My Time!
Don’t you ever get sick of talking to people that gab on and on and on and on? The sort of person that simply has to yammer about everything under the sun? You stand there, politely holding your tongue, nodding as if to convey a continued sense of interest, until you can’t stand it anymore, and you shout the first and only phrase running through your mind:
“WILL YOU JUST GET TO THE POINT?!”
It’s annoying, right? Well, why exactly do writers think they’re allowed to similarly waste our time? How do so many authors think they’ve become so poetically endowed that they can wax boring by plopping thesaurus chunks in our laps for half a book at a time? (Excuse the purple…it slips in during high levels of stress.)
This is the 21st century; time isn’t so much a river these days as it is a waterfall. No one wants to get involved with a conversation that’s going to waste time, and no one wants to sit down with a book that’s going to do the same thing.
OK, ROCKY, YOU’VE YAMMERED ON FOR THREE PARAGRAPHS—GET TO THE POINT ALREADY.
A few months back, the University of Arizona (soon to be my Alma Mater) held its First Annual Festival of Books, which I attended. Of the ten or twelve classes and workshops I attended, I managed to take away one very short, very simple piece of advice.
“When in doubt, lower your standards.”
The heck? What’s that supposed to mean? Well, it’s referring to your written work, or, more specifically, your rough draft. Simply put, it means you just sit down and write. But, being the beneficent soul that I am, I’ll elaborate.
Lowering your standards refers directly to the way your story is written. What this does, when you get it hammered into your head, is force you to think in simple terms. Don’t sit there trying to explain what a rainstorm is. We already know what it looks, sounds, smells, and feels like, and 98% of readers aren’t interested in a meteorological report. That’s what the weather channel’s for. What we want to know is what it does. Well…the sky is covered with clouds, the winds pick up, and the rain falls over everything. End of story.
Guess what? You just lowered your standards and kept it simple. Now move on. This isn’t a major set piece, so don’t treat it like a climax. You’ll be able to concentrate on what the story requires of the rainstorm rather than making the story about what the rainstorm is. And the reader will love you for it.
Another important area for lowering your standards is with your characters. Wait…what? Lower my standards for my characters? Yes, but only in how they’re written. When you see a screencap of the cast from any of the Indiana Jones films, how do you know which one is the titular character? Because he’s wearing a leather jacket and fedora.
When you’re writing your characters, describe them in simple terms. Know what that does? It’s going to force you to distinguish between the characters. You can’t have an old, grey-haired doctor and an old, grey-haired doctor running around in the same story without generating mass confusion. You need to describe each of those old doctors unique to each other in just one or two sentences.
Um…why just one or two sentences? Well, readers will usually only absorb and/or tolerate so much detail at a given time. Not only are they going to not remember each of your six main characters’ height, weight, hair color, parents’ year of marriage, sixth grade report cards, and their individual number of flu shots since birth, but they’ll zone out, lose interest, and shelve the book altogether.
Give them a single, colorful sentence that is different from the other characters, something they can latch on to. Give them a setting, an object, or a motion that they can sense immediately. When you do that, you won’t be dragging out the detail of the mountains or the exact cut of a character’s facial hair, but you’ll be telling a story about how the mustachioed man was able to cross those mountains.
And most importantly, you won’t be wasting the reader’s time.

By Juniper
on May 23, 11:16 PM