Apologies for not having updated in eons. Work and school have been quite a handful recently. However, I’ve gotten the hang of it, so I’ll updating the sporkings regularly again.

Chapter 14 – Taking A Chance

This chapter is a bit erratic, both in the writing and in the plot, so I’ll just try to summarize for the most part.

Kyja and Bella have just turned a corner and run into High Lord Dinslith and the eeeeevil-seeming visitor. The two are afraid of the visitor because he looks menacing, but Kyja mentally reassures herself that seeing someone she doesn’t know in the company of the high lord isn’t unusual.

Somehow Bella manages to completely hide Kyja from sight by having Kyja stand behind her, and then shove her back around the corner without catching the attention of the lord and his guest. She must be pretty stocky, or Kyja is literally as thin as a stick. As Kyja runs away she wonders why she thinks the visitor is dangerous and what he would want with “a girl who fed chickens and milked cows.” Well, the only reason why she seems to think he’s evil is because of his appearance (dark eyes, “silky” voice,), which isn’t a particularly good basis for judging someone’s character.

Riph Raph and Kyja meet up once she escapes the grounds of the tower and goes into an orchard. She asks him if he’s seen anything unusual, and he says this:

“Nothing except the High Lord and his guards… I didn’t like the looks of the stranger with him. He had suspicious eyes.”

Remember, Riph Raph was doing flight surveillance, which means he either flew very, very close to the High Lord and his guest or he has incredible eye sight. The former seems really unlikely, so we’ll assume he has amazing vision.

Kyja and Riph Raph return to the Goodnuffs’ farm, where she saddles up one of the horses, Chance, and grabs some provisions while the skyte takes lookout duty. Suddenly, just as she’s ready to go, Riph Raph flies into the barn and is having a panic attack because he’s seen something approaching. Apparently his incredible vision is selective because he failed to see this approaching threat until it was about a mile away and completely visible to Kyja (who has normal vision). They go outside and see a large cloud of dust approaching rapidly. The ground begins to shake, and she wants to warn the Goodnuffs but according to Riph Raph, she has “no time!” so she runs away.

From a distance, Kyja watches as the cloud of dust travels right up to the farm, where it then causes ground to explode and completely destroy the farm. The rumbling/dust cloud was being caused by three black snakes “as big around as tree trunks and nearly twenty feet long”, who then transform into men (not sure how she knows they’re men) wearing “dark cowls”.

Like Paolini, Savage has the habit of giving very specific numbers whenever a character is visually estimating a distance/length of something/the amount of people in a group/etc.

Kyja stares in disbelief at the destruction for a second, then gallops away, crying because the Goodnuffs and the animals are all dead. If you feel like this scene is familiar, that’s probably because it is.

Chapter 15 – The Golden Rope

Kyja, Riph Raph, and Chance the horse are apparently safe for the moment, as they’re sitting down near a stream and resting.

Why would they kill the Goodnuffs?” Kyja cried, rubbing her cheeks furiously with the palms of her hands. “They weren’t even looking for them. They were looking for me.”

coughStar Wars/Eragoncough I’d like to point out that killing the Goodnuffs definitely wouldn’t benefit the baddies much (capturing and then questioning them seems like a better idea), so it’s probably just to prove how EVIL they are. However, Kyja seems to think that they knew she’d already escaped and just killed the Goodnuffs out of malice, which doesn’t make a lot of sense.

The group is afraid that they’ll be found at any moment, so of course Kyja spends some time reflecting on the advice Therapass gave her about fleeing, who the boy she saw in the Aptura Discerna (Marcus) is, and her special amulet that has the monsters engraved on it. Then she suddenly has a vision of sorts, where she sees Marcus screaming at a giant snake.

I won’t let you die, she screamed silently. I won’t!

Silent screaming isn’t possible. “Mentally screamed” would be better. Or “screamed in her head.”

Concentrating with all her might, she tried to reach out to the boy. In her hand, the amulet burned as an image appeared in her head. It was a long, golden rope hanging just above the boy’s head… As the snake struck, she mentally pulled on the rope as hard as she could.

The chapter ends there on yet another cliffhanger. Savage needs to stop acting like he’s writing fanfic instead of a novel. Especially given that the chapter was about four pages long, it would benefit the story’s readability immensely if he combined the chapters so they flow more smoothly.

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  1. LoneWolf on 4 October 2012, 17:57 said:

    Welcome back!

    Chapter 15 and we still don’t know who the bad guys really are and what are their goals.

    The bad guys’ method of getting rid of Kyja was quite prone to failing. At least, they should’ve had an onlooker who ensured that she’s in the house the moment the Snakes of Doom were launched.

    Why are the bad people so often ugly, or become ugly? We need to have more average-looking and attractive baddies.

    I enjoy the sporks – this book so far has just the right amount of flaws for the spork not to be boring!

  2. Danielle on 4 October 2012, 19:42 said:

    Let’s recap, shall we?

    The baddie turns into a snake at will. Not practical, but sounds cool.

    Marcus scoots off down the hall “faster than a boy with two good legs,” even though that makes no sense. It sounded cool on paper.

    He has a very distinctive mark that looks cool, but has only caused him trouble thus far.

    Kyja’s adopted family is killed by gigantic snakes that turn into men. Very impractical, but it sounds cool on paper.

    Her mentor tests her vulnerability to magic by setting her on fire. Not safe or smart, but it sounds cool.

    I smell Rule of Cool abuse.

    Glad you’re back, BlackStar! I missed these sporks immensely.

  3. lilyWhite on 4 October 2012, 21:12 said:

    Concentrating with all her might, she tried to reach out to the boy. In her hand, the amulet burned as an image appeared in her head. It was a long, golden rope hanging just above the boy’s head… As the snake struck, she mentally pulled on the rope as hard as she could.

    It’s reassuring to see that deus ex machinas still work with/on Kyja. That whole “anti-magic” thing would make one worry that she wouldn’t be able to use or benefit from magic when she really needs it, if the author didn’t have her do so repeatedly for the benefit of the protagonists.

  4. Kyllorac on 5 October 2012, 11:07 said:

    It was a long, golden rope hanging just above the boy’s head… As the snake struck, she mentally pulled on the rope as hard as she could.

    So… She strung him up? With all her might?

    I thought she was trying to save him.

  5. HimochiIsAwesome on 6 October 2012, 14:40 said:

    Finally caught up with this, but…

    It’s been 15 chapters. FIFTEEN.
    And what’s happened?

    Marcus was bullied, and then captured by an EVIL GUY.
    Kyja (which I am reading as kuh-JAR! like some silly exclamation) went to a tower, angsted a bit, watched the Token Wise Old Man go insane, saw an EVIL GUY and had a vision.
    How is this 15 chapters worth of plot?

    Also, if kuhJAR had a vision, after years of having no magic, wouldn’t her reaction be something more like “WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON I DON’T I CAN’T EVEN”?
    Although I wouldn’t know, being a normal human.

  6. Licht on 6 October 2012, 22:43 said:

    You know that Kuh means cow in German?

  7. HimochiIsAwesome on 7 October 2012, 02:14 said:

    Really? Hurrah for coincidences!