Welcome back everyone. Last chapter nothing much happened. We had Zoey be a twit to her boyfriend (?) and her mother and pack a bunch of thongs while shaming her brother for a hobby that she doesn’t like and her sister for essentially doing what Zoey wants to do.
This chapter does less.
I would like to apologize to all Christians, Conservatives and everyone who hates strawman arguments.
We start out with Zoey spending a paragraph to claim that while on first glance, John Heffer (who has a name which Zoey, our pinnacle of maturity, just has to make fun of) but he’s really not. Zoey also mentions that before they were married, Mommy’s friends called him handsome, but now that they’‘e married, Mommy doesn’t hang out with them because John doesn’t like it.
Or maybe they just didn’t have a lot in common anymore. That sometimes happens. Yes, I’m being the devil’s advocate here. Because no one ever bothers to challenge Zoey’s POV.
Particularly since Zoey flat says that she never liked him.
This is what people mean when they say ‘show don’t tell’. When we have Zoey telling us that John is an awful person, but so far we don’t have any actions of his to go by, it weakens Zoey’s narrative and actually makes it possible for her to be an unreliable narrator. After all, for all we know she is either wrong or lying, since we have no evidence either way.
I personally think that this is just laziness on Mommy Cast’s part, since she knows better. A lot of YA writers who also write for adults seem to think that they can get away with terrible work simply because of the fact that it’s YA, and apparently teenagers are stupid.
We don’t get much description of John. Only that he looks like most middle aged men
“has dark hair, skinny chicken legs, and is getting a gut. His eyes are like his soul, a washed out brownish color.” (21)
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At least he has one, Zoey.
Adding to her current charming behavior, Zoey mentions how her mother is sitting on the couch next to him, clearly having been crying, and whines about how she’s “going to play Hurt Hysterical Mother.” (21)
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Or maybe, you know, she’s upset by the horrible things that you said to her before storming upstairs and wishing death upon them.
It was pointed out last chapter that one of the problems with this entire situation is that it belongs later in the book (or even the series). Personally, I agree. Had we had signs throughout a book that this was happening, Zoey being ignored and even casually mistreated for no reason. The other siblings basically playing their parts, hiding just how miserable that they were for their mother’s sake. People pressuring Zoey to put up the façade. Every time that their mother grew a spine, John shutting her down. And then, towards the end, Zoey just explodes. It would actually be very satisfying.
Honestly, if we played it that way, the Casts could get away with a lot of Zoey’s horrific behavior as it would underlie a lot of deeper problems. Then again, that would actually require them to realize what a little brat that Zoey is being in this scene, and they honestly seem to think that I should be feeling sympathy for her.
If we wanted to talk about the problems of being raised in a household that you don’t share the beliefs of, it could have been interesting. Say that Zoey is questioning her faith the entire time, feeling awkward when they go to church, not really sure what she believes, wondering if what she is seeing is even right, not really able to just pretend for her family’s sake, but still loving them. It could have honestly been a testament to problems that people actually go through.
The problem is that the Casts want to rush through this so that they can get to the House of Night as fast as they can but still have a confrontation so that they don’t have to worry about Zoey’s family.
I honestly wish that they’d gone the Disney route and just killed the whole family and had Nyx save Zoey. It would have been less painful for me to read.
But no, instead, John Heafer begins his literary existence with:
“Get thee behind me, Satan!” he quoted in what I like to think of as his sermon voice.
I sighed. “It’s not Satan. It’s just me.” (22)
Well, you’re both spiteful and think that you’re better than everyone else, so I understand why he might make the mistake.
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But I have a hard time seeing any human being starting a conversation with that unironically.
Mommy pipes up and says that Zoey really doesn’t have any business being sarcastic, but John tells her that he will handle it, calling her hon and generally being affectionate before going straight to the victim blaming and claiming that the reason that she became a vampire is because she was such a rotten person.
Sit on this one, guys. Just…remember it for later chapters and books.
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Zoey mentions how there has not been any kind of clear reason for why people turn into vampires. She also sarcastically says how clever her stepfather is for realizing that it’s caused by bad behavior. But since her behavior according to her is “an occasional lie, some pissed off thoughts against my parents, and maybe some semi-harmless lust” (22) for some dude who doesn’t matter. I love it when Sues are so lacking in self-awareness.
It’s almost funny that the Casts honestly seem to think that there is nothing wrong with what we’ve seen of Zoey’s behavior to date.
Zoey claims that this was done to her, and every scientist on the planet agrees with her, and John, because Christians don’t like science, claims that
“Scientists are not all-knowing. They are not men of God.” (22)
I was unaware that men of God were all knowing. That’s a first. Also, I can think of a few of modern, high level, scientists who would be a little offended at their faith being invalided.
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So, we get a little bit of info on John. He is apparently an ‘Elder’ of the People of Faith, a religious group that essentially exists for the Casts to dump on without having to own up to being jerks. This means that he’s something of a priest and gets a good living. Zoey claims that that was one of the original reasons that Mommy was interested in him. Zoey claims that he is an awful person, but her only example is that he is going to preach at her.
So, now we get the scientific reasoning behind the change. You know, the one that the Casts mentioned in their acknowledgements.
“It’s a physiological reaction that takes place in some teenagers’ bodies as their hormone levels rise.” I paused, thinking really hard and totally proud of myself for remembering something I learned last semester. “In certain people the hormones trigger something-or-other in a…a…” I thought harder and remembered: “a Junk DNA strand, which starts the whole Change.”
This is about as scientific as Peter Parker’s origin story.
Let’s look at this, shall we? Canonically speaking, vampires have magic powers. I know I’m bringing things up from later stuff in the book, but you need to consider this. Scientists aren’t stupid. They’re not going to be convinced that ‘Junk DNA’ is going to allow people to start throwing fireballs around. There is also the fact that vampires live for so long and avoid the sun. Also, what about the Tracker that showed up? Is he just a hallucination? Why would everyone hallucinate about a dude talking about a goddess? Is this ever even addressed? Are there vampires who allow themselves to be tested?
Why do they have to go to the House of Night?
If you’re going to have a scientific explanation, at least attempt to make it logical in universe.
Also, if it’s been around forever and isn’t a recent thing, people would probably believe that it was magic. There wouldn’t be a problem.
However, rather than raising questions like mine, John rants about how they don’t understand God’s rules.
So, aspiring writers, this is a strawman. Strawmen, to anyone who doesn’t really know, are essentially parodies of an idea of which the author disagrees with which are presented to show just how terrible the idea is. Any group can be turned into strawmen. A group of Atheists who know nothing about religion but hate it anyways, Republicans who are against any and all social programs and education, Democrats who are spoiled rich children who know nothing of the real world other than their bleeding hearts, essentially all of these are strawmen. They’re essentially a negative stereotype of an opinion that the writer doesn’t like.
Naturally, they’re always used so that the hero/heroine can logically tear them down.
I always have the sneaking suspicion that the War on Straw exists because the writer has never been able to win a battle with an actual member of the group that they disagree with.
Are there people who think like John? Yes. However, as a general rule, in fiction, it’s generally considered to be in bad taste to represent opinions by their worst examples.
John gets prissy about having to have things explained to him by a teenager, and Zoey’s brilliant snarky come back is that the way he dresses proves that he needs the advice. Because forty something men should dress like teenage guys.
Mommy cuts in again, asking him what the neighbors will say and what the people at church are going to say, and we finally get some reason for Zoey’s bitterness.
What annoys me is that THIS could have actually worked. Naturally, they didn’t seem to know how to pursue it.
John’s answer is that they are going to “give this to God” (24) by calling someone named Dr. Asher who Zoey mentions as the family shrink. I highly doubt that we are ever going to see this good doctor. Ever. It also seems strange that they would have a shrink if John doesn’t like science, but that’s just me.
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And they decide to call the prayer tree together. Are we seriously going to bring up a ‘pray the gay away’ implication?
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Zoey, whines that the shrink knows nothing about teenagers and that the Elders are coming and that she needs to leave for the House of Night that night. Mommy stands up and looks like she’s going to save her, but then John “put his arm around her shoulder possessively” (24) and she caves.
“Zoey, surely it wouldn’t hurt anything if you spend just tonight at home?” (24)
Clearly it would, since it seems to be well enough known in this universe that she’s going to croak if she doesn’t get to the House of Night quickly.
Cast ladies, making all of your characters stupid does not make your main character any smarter.
Another problem here, strangely enough. is that the Casts don’t seem to know what they want to do. Do they want to show Mommy as a woman so desperate for love and security that she would ignore the needs of her own daughter to please her husband? Do they want to show her as a flaky, uncaring person who’s only interest is in what the neighbors think? They seem to be trying to do both, but it’s very sloppily done. Strangely enough, John, for all that he’s being characterized as a one dimensional Christian bigot is actually a more consistent character. At least he is at this point. That vanishes very quickly.
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So, Zoey realizes that, surprise surprise, they’re not going to take her (I really don’t see why she didn’t just drive herself in the second chapter but whatever) and she has another Author Induced Revaluation. In case you weren’t sure how to interpret this scene.
I suddenly understood that it wasn’t just about this Mark and the fact that my life had been totally changed. It was about control. If they let me go, somehow they lose. In Mom’s case, I liked to think that she was afraid of losing me. I knew what John didn’t want to lose. He didn’t want to lose his precious authority and the illusion that we were the perfect little family. As Mom had already said, What will the neighbors think—what will people think at Meeting on Sunday? John had to preserve the illusion, and if that meant allowing me to get really, really sick, well then, that was a price he was willing to pay. (25)
This is stupid. \~/
Don’t be so coy, Casts. Not at this part of the game. If you want a raging strawman, make a raging strawman. Right now your hesitance just looks stupid.
For one thing, if John wanted to ‘keep up the illusion’ of a loving family, he would want to make sure that he sent her to the House of Night so that everyone would think about how tolerant and loving that he was. At the very least he would have wanted a real doctor rather than a prayer tree.
So, make up your mind, is he a raging Christian stereotype or a raging stereotype about American suburbia. It can’t be both. This is the same problem with Mommy.
If you want to go the ‘he doesn’t care if I die as long as he’s right’ route, at least go the full distance and have him try to exorcize the demon out of her or something! If you want him to be super self-cautious about how the neighbors see him, you need to focus on that.
Make up your minds. Seriously, if you’re going to stereotype, at least do it properly.
Zoey says that she’s not going to go alone with them, seems to cave and says that she’ll go along with it, and Mommy, clearly thinking that this isn’t going to be serious as a sickness, says that maybe Zoey should lie down and have some NyQuil and she’ll feel better.
Now, I have some worldbuilding issues here. Being marked seems like it’s a common enough occurrence that there have been studies and publications and movies and other things that would have made what needs to be done common knowledge. The fact that they’re acting like it isn’t is either a major flaw in the worldbuilding itself, or it is supposed to show how stupid these two are. Honestly, given that Zoey herself seems to be forgetting that she’s going to die in this chapter, I think that this is a worldbuilding issue.
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What’s more, is that by ignoring this themselves, the Casts have made it so that I am going to ignore it. The idea that John doesn’t care if Zoey dies is literally the only actual thing that she has against him, but she’s going to focus more on the fact that they made her feel bad.
So, I’m going to have to ignore it as well.
Zoey hugs her mom “wishing so damn hard that it was three years ago and she was still mine” (25) and tells her that everything is going to be fine.
Er…Zoey…I’m starting to not joke about the psychopath thing. \~/
So, after snootily telling John (who is the step-loser again) to put some powder to cover his head, she traipses up the stairs, heroically telling herself how she wasn’t going to cry.
And of course we’re given the line about how
I’m going to remember how awful they made me feel today. So when I’m scared and alone and whatever else is going to happen to be starts to happen, I’m going to remember that nothing could be as bad as being stuck here. Nothing. (26)
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You self-righteous little spoiled brat. Trust me, I can imagine a few things that would be much worse for you than living with a jerk. Particularly when all you have to do is wait a two years tops, get loans, and get a place of your own. Including have to deal with actual vampires.
And you notice, the only thing that she cares about is not that they potentially put her life in danger. It’s not the fact that they put their neighbor’s opinions over her possible safety. It’s her feelings.
This is why I’m inclined to think that either the Casts desperately need to sort out their worldbuilding, or Zoey wasn’t in the danger that she seems to think that she was in.
Or Zoey needs to sort out her priorities.
Anyways, that’s the end of the chapter, and honestly, it’s a pretty pointless chapter that has major worldbuilding problems which are ignored in favor of their spitting their hate on John. In reality, everything in this chapter should have been scrapped. It adds nothing to the plot, and John being a shadowy figure might actually have been a better idea since we could hint that something did actually happen that Zoey doesn’t talk about.
So, next chapter, Zoey craps a little more on mindsets that she doesn’t agree with, and runs away to be with one of the biggest Magical Native American stereotypes that I’ve seen in modern writing.
Drinks: 12
Lurker on 9 June 2015, 14:55 said:
Okay, the world-building is really confusing. In this worlds, vampires have always been a part of life, right? Which makes it weird that things don’t really seem affected like this? Zoey’s stepdad is a Christian, but wouldn’t you think that Christianity would be affected by the known existence of vampires in some way, or at least address their existence? Stepdad sees them as demons, but is this a commonly-held view, or a part of the specific sect he belongs to? It wouldn’t seem to be a commonly-held view, because later in the book they mention that lots of prominent people like actors and artists are vampires, so they don’t seem broadly condemned by society. What denomination is he anyway? It just raises too many questions.
Pryotra on 9 June 2015, 15:10 said:
At this point in the Cast’s story telling I’m going to take a gander and say that they honestly didn’t think too hard about what the repercussions would be of vampires being real.
They wanted to have it be the real world with all the normalcy of the real with, but they also didn’t want to
make it to obviously a Twilight/Harry Potter clonehave vampires be just discovered, so naturally they just have a big mess.You would, and chances are that any major, surviving religion would. After all, explaining things that don’t seem to have a clear explanation is the purpose of a religion.
Zoey later makes a comment about how hypocritical people are for avoiding vampires and still letting a ton a really important people (particularly in the arts) have influence. But the problem is that you’re right. If vampires were this common, most people wouldn’t really have any problem with them by this time. If they did, they wouldn’t have people in high ranking positions.
People of Faith
I’m not sure what group that they’re a parody of, but they seem to just generally be a strawman army for the Casts to attack.
Another major flaw in their world building as that really bigoted groups like what the People of Faith are made out to be don’t tend to have a lot of influence or popularity.
Apep on 9 June 2015, 20:54 said:
As an example, let’s go with the Harry Potter books. All of them (particularly the first book) spend a few chapters on Harry with the Dursleys’. JKR spent time showing just how bad Harry’s home life is. Note that word – “showing”. The readers weren’t just told how bad Harry had it – we got to see it for ourselves.
Well, I’d say his general behavior sounds like hard-line Protestant (not sure on the specific denomination – maybe Baptist?), but the term “Elder” makes me think Mormon. So yeah, I think “generic, non-denominational Christian” is probably accurate.
Akkakieron on 9 June 2015, 21:13 said:
I’m reading this book for a critique and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the Strawman on display, though ‘Get thee behind, Satan!’ was funny for all the wrong reasons. Especially when you take it out of context. The war of straw becomes hypocritical when we reach the House of Night, but that’s for later.
Oh, John, you have no idea how rotten Zoey can be.
“Why do they have to go to the House of Night?”
That has bugged me for a while. How is going to some place prevent you from dying? Does the House of Night have airborne anti-bodies to ease the change because I don’t remember seeing a doctor there. I’d like an answer but the Casts have this tendency to ignore flaws in their world-building.
The Smith of Lie on 10 June 2015, 04:39 said:
Well that was definitely less awesome than Miracle of She-Bears.
There is book series that took similar premise and did it well. Anno Dracula books. The fact that vampires exist and Masquerade does not is BIG DEAL. I think I am actually repeating myself on that point. Casts want to have it both ways – vampires as established part of the setting and mysterious beings at the same time.
On to the science bugbear. I have no problem with scientific explanations for supernatural creatures. And the science does not even need to be realistic – as long as the biobabble is competent I can overlook that it is scientifically sounding bullshit. But if you go to the science as explanation you stick to science – no divine beings, no abilities that have no concivable physiological explanation.
Maybe the whole thing could have been salavaged if somewhere along the line headvampiress explained that scientits have been bought to give mundane explanation. But that would be handwaving and would need a social part of worldbuilding to consider the ramifications of vampires’ existance.
I can understand why Casts dropped the introductory chapters showing Zoey’s family life being miserable. It was what hindered getting into Harry Potter for some, so they decided to get to the “good stuff” quickly. Except it didn’t work half as well as they expected. Another interesting alternative besides Disney variant would be if Hous of the Night took more proactive stance in acquisiion of their courtesans ….errr, students. Zoey thinking how she should deal with the whole thing and break it to her family gets interrupted by HoN representative taking her away and giving her family Man in Black treatment. Boom! Vampires introduced right of the bat, Zoey in the brothel… err, in the school, parents are non issue and there is potential source of conflict and legitimate angst for main caracter.
Of course the above solution would have robbed Casts of the chance to act condescending towards mixed bag of sterotypes and ability to burn a strwaman or three. (Personally I’d prefer to burn a wicker man, but that is just me.)
And finally time for the threats <insert maniacal laughter here>. Since the chapter itself is pretty barren, I am now taking requests as to the general nature of spitefic for it. If nothing comes I will still unleash my wrath with some off the wall thing, but maybe someone will inspire me.
swenson on 10 June 2015, 11:47 said:
From what I’ve seen/heard about the beliefs of this supposed group, there’s no coherent theology or principles there at all. They just hate everything that Zoey/vampires like, but there’s no consistent principles behind it. This is classic “irreligious person who has never actually learned anything about religion”.
Pryotra on 10 June 2015, 15:51 said:
I honestly think that the scientific explanation was really there for no other reason than that one of their readers pointed out that people would try to find a logical explanation for this, so they shoehorned it into the first chapters and pretty much forgot about it otherwise. We all know it’s because they were chosen by Nyx.
This is basically my objection. I don’t even mind if you have a people trying to give science when it doesn’t work since I think that that would be a very human reaction. However, they would be looking for something that explained the fact that they didn’t age (or aged slowly). They’d be looking for some kind of explanation for the elemental powers. Scientists are not stupid, and honestly it always annoys me when they’re portrayed as such.
Also, what would happen if someone couldn’t be bought? I mean, grant it, the story of a scientist who learns about this massive conspiracy and then refuses to accept the offered money would take away from Zoey, but I think it would be a lot more interesting.
That would have been more interesting, but it would have taken away from the “Vampyres are teh best things evar!” that the Casts are pushing as well as accenting just how much power these guys have (and abuse), which is something either the Casts haven’t thought about or don’t want to.
Maybe something involving Keith and Tiffany? They have no lines at all. Maybe, from them we can see that in reality, it is a happy home, other than the point of darkness which is the possibly unstable and honestly sadistic Zoey.
You’ve just made be realize that the Casts are their own strawmen. They are acting like stereotypes of themselves, and I would never actually write characters like them because I’d think that they were unrealistic.
This is kind of amusing.
The Smith of Lie on 15 June 2015, 07:29 said:
Taking her siblings PoV is neat idea. I am however much too crude of a writer to make it a propely psychological takedown of Zoey’s character. So I did next best thing and spawned a parallel universe, where Zoey’s siblings are characters we all know an love, who go about things in their usual manner.
Call it an Evil vs Evil situation if you will.
They sat in living room, asked by their parents to help with some family matter. Their mother’s face was grave when she asked them to come. She looked as if she was crying. So they followed her obediently, not wanting to cause her more distress and now they waited for John and Zoey. Their sister has done something again.
It was tough living under one roof with her. They missed their father too, but John was a good man. Strict and rough, but he loved their mother and tried being a father figure for them. Maybe he was not a very good father, but he deserved at least some props for trying. And actually, since they did not go out of their way to antagonize him, he left them to their own devices most of the time. Which, considering where they’d spent most of their time was pretty fortunate. It was a shame that Zoey could not just give the man a chance.
Maya and Joey gasped when their sister entered the room. There, right in the middle of her forehead, was the mark of the beast. A half-moon. If one counted the angles of the mark’s curves and added them, multiplied by number of fish miraculously caught by Simon and Peter in Gospel of John, then reduced the number by number of sailors who crewed the boat on which Paul the Apostle sailed to Perga it gave 666. And as anyone who has understanding can tell, it is the number of the beast.
It must have been some kind of plot by King Appolyon and his Club of Evil, it was impossible for a person to turn into a vampire unless there was darkness in their heart. Such was decree of King Roach himself! Maya and Joey looked at each other and since they were readers and leaders (regularly returning to their kingdoms in the land of Maradonia to wage a never ending war on the forces of evil) and they knew each other mind immediately.
Zoey had to be stopped before she could unleash any evil on their world, there was no choice. It pained their hearts, but it had to be done. Well, considering the constant slaughter and destruction they have wrought in their campaigns it was actually pretty easy to make the decision. After all, had they not lead thousands of men to their deaths when Appolyon’s forces entrenched themselves and used heavy ordnance stolen from Earth? Had they not waged campaign of genocide to avenge King Astrodulos? Had not Joey lay waste to entire biomes just to test his weapons of mass destruction? What was it for them to kill one more person?
So they sat in the living room quietly, listening to the conversation between John and Zoey. And when she finally stormed off the unspoken plan was ready. Maya went after her sister to talk with her while Joey returned to his room to get ready.
“What do you want you slut? Came here to gloat?” Maya sighed inwardly. Zoey was always seeing things that were not there. Sure, she was popular with the boys in the school, but who needs them when there’s entire world full of loyal subjects… “No, I came here to save your life.” There was visible shock and suspicion in Zoey’s eyes. “I know we don’t always get along. Ok, we never get along. Actually you dislike me. More like actively hate and despise rather. But you still are my sister and I don’t want to watch you die.” Maya could not wait to see Zoey die. “You need to run away from home and go to House of Night. And I’ll help you.” She pulled out an improvised rope ladder. “I use it to… get away some times…” Maya let Zoey make her own assumptions about the reason for getting away. Not that there wasn’t a bit of… romance involved. Just not with people Zoey suspected.
Joey waited for them by their car. “Where did you get the car?!” Maya cursed silently. She forgot that no one knew about Gold of Ophir and small fortune they made by selling part of it. Joey saved the situation though, with his usual glib charm. “Oh, its not ours. I just borrowed it from Justin, his parents are loaded and had no problem buying it for him on his last birthday.” It was good thing that Joey never had problem with coming up with a lie on the spot. And he sounded so natural about it that Maya almost believed his story herself.
“So… that is the infamous House of Night?” The complex was pretty big, but so were Maradonian forests. “Go inside, we’ll cover for you with mom and Jhon for some time, so they don’t come bothering you here.” Maya knew that soon no one would ever bother Zoey anymore.
They waited for half an hour to make sure Zoey was with other abominations and then Joey opened his backpack and took out Key of the Underworld. He smiled. “One fell swoop.” Maybe it was really a blessing that their sister turned out to be the whore of Satan? And so it came to pass that House of Night burned in magical – nuclear conflagration.
Castor on 16 June 2015, 22:06 said:
I had completely forgotten about the attempted scientific explanation on here and now I’m laughing so hard. I mean, I suppose that I’d you wanted to go for a genetic route, rather than just saying “it’s junk DNA” and leaving it at that, you could rationalize it by saying it’s caused by a retrovirus or something. There is a theory that all of our junk DNA is actually the genetic code of ancient retroviruses that inserted their genetic material into out genome without that DNA ever being expressed and causing the cells to produce viruses. I’m not sure how widely that theory is accepted, but I think you could make it work. But even then, that genetic material would be a part of a large portion of humans as a species and would probably be hereditary, which it definitely isn’t in this book, since it’s pretty obvious the reason Zoey is chosen is because she’s a special snowflake.
Either way, mixing a hard scientific cause for vampirism while still maintaining that they’re simply chosen by a deity is a bit silly. I think it could be done, but obviously not the way the Casts did it.