Fair: Hi, everyone! We’ve finally recovered from our brain bleach induced hangovers and are back with the fourth chapter of Nibly.
As we remember from our last chapter, Nibly was sent to find the High School, because that’s where he will find the learned “Teenagers”, who know everything.
Finn: Well obviously! I mean, what else would keep this train wreck of a book going? Unfortunately, we’re going to find out. Fair, do you think there will be many people at our funeral?
Fair: I don’t really know. As long as SNel doesn’t write a eulogy, I’ll be happy.
Anyway, Nibly walks streets away from the elementary school and up a hill. Guess what he finds at the top!
The name on the school clearly read, ‘RAGLAFART.’ I knew I was in the right place.
One drink.
Finn: If you were just thinking that there couldn’t possibly be a real school with that name, you’re right. The actual name of the school is Trafalgar Middle School. Yes, a middle school, not a high school. What is the meaning of this? There is none. Nelson could have easily put the name of the real school, because he’s repeated it over and over that this town is a REAL place, so why not put the school’s real name?
Fair: Perhaps now Nibly reads from right to left? I don’t think so. Anyway, the name of the actual high school is L V Rodger’s High School. This also poses a question. Why would Nibly go to a junior high school looking for teenagers when in BC middle school is for ages 11-13? It couldn’t be that SNel has made a mistake, seeing as his wife who’s helped him is actually from Nelson. Personally, I think that this is a poor last minute attempt to disguise the names of places people might recognise, but as Finn said above, he’s made it clear where the story is set. Either way it doesn’t work, leading me to doubt SNel’s mental capacity all the more.
Picture=drink
Lack of perspective strikes again! Just look at that fence.
Finn: Why is there grass missing? Was he just too lazy to finish the picture? Ugh, it’s just so bad…
Fair: It’s a hole in the universe!
So Nibly speaks to one of the learned ‘Teenagers’ and asks where the best places to eat are. For some reason, these ‘Teenagers’ are not at all bothered by the talking bear wearing clothes. We get some random quotations around place names, and are told about an ice cream shop called ‘Wait’s News’ and ‘The Funky Monkey Burger Bar’, which are both real places. The FMBB, however, might have had its name changed, probably because the owners realised it was a really stupid name.
Five drinks, mostly for random quotes and caps, once for use of the word “vittles”.
And then we get this:
“OK!” I said, and off I went to find these great eating spots. The learned ‘Teenagers’ wanted some of my money, so I pulled out a few bills and tossed them into the window of the school. Chairs went flying everywhere as the learned ‘Teenagers’ began to enjoy a spirited wrestling match. I heard sounds of scrambling feet and shouts of; “Ouch let go My Hair!” Thump! Bonk! Smack!
“I Got IT!” “No I Got IT!!” “No I Got IT!!!”
I left the learned ‘Teenagers’ to have their fun as I was not a fan of wrestling.
Finn: “IT”? Really? This is not a Tale of Two Castles dragon we’re talking about, so why is there so much emphasis on that word? It is very… suggestive. Besides, that is really not what kids would be saying when grabbing for money. Screaming and yelling, perhaps, but no bragging matches. I wonder if SNel was ever a teenager.
Fair: Quite honestly, I find this almost too stupid for words. Where is the teacher? Wouldn’t she notice her students conversing with a clothed bear through the window? Wouldn’t he try to stop the war in his classroom caused by the money the bear is throwing at his students? How do the students even know the bear has money? Why does SNel persist with those idiotic replacements for sound effects? How would a bear even know what wrestling is?
I give this passage 7 drinks, though it could stand to have more.
Finn: It only gets worse.
Fair: Nibly goes to Wait’s News. We also get a picture that, for once, isn’t drawn by SNel. Instead it’s stolen.
After about five minutes of googling, we found the source: Clickety
I wonder what would happen if the Nelson Post found out they were linked to this cow plop of a book?
Finn: Justice would be upheld. One drink awarded for bad ethics.
I was disappointed in this, as it was crowded with a lot of very hairy men. But wait, were they men? I couldn’t tell really. And the smell of them, it was awful! Like Petunia Oil, but it smelt more like mold or skunk! I would have lost my lunch if I had had some yet. So these are the ‘Hippies’ that I had heard of last year. I actually saw them from a distance when they were playing loud and awful music at a festival they called ‘Shambala.’ That was when that pesky Ranger had bonked me with his club.
Fair: Perhaps those hairy men were bears in disguise? You never can tell in Nelson.
Finn: Something here doesn’t really smell right…you know what I mean? There is something wrong with this paragraph. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what. Do ‘Hippies’ have a ‘Gothic movement’ too?
Fair: I think that was called “The Sixties”
Finn: True. Still, I had no idea the hippies were interested in alchemy.
Fair: Hang on… Nibly has just discovered what the ‘Hippies’ he heard of last year look like. Even though he already saw them last year before the ranger decided he could beat up a bear with a club.
Finn: It does say “from a distance”. But still, It’s strange that he’s been near this town before, yet apparently he’s never been here before. Don’t you just love continuity?
Fair: I’d say five drinks, to be safe.
I had also learned how the ‘Hippies’ only come out once a year to have a bath. Perhaps they should go jump in the nice lake nearby or perhaps the public pool. But for now I’ll steer clear of these fellows, they smelled really bad! I went on my way fast!
Finn: Bears never seem to care about smell when they eat at the dump. Who is giving him all this inside information on human words and society? I think we have a conspiracy on our hands…
Fair: “I went on my way fast!”? Has SNel ever heard of adverbs before? Three drinks. Wait, no; four drinks, because I only just noticed that horrendous tense change.
Total drinks: 24 And we aren’t even at the worst bit.
Tim on 18 October 2012, 03:54 said:
He had to face up to his family name and face full life consequences!
swenson on 18 October 2012, 08:29 said:
John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed! He… wait, wrong story. Sorry about that.
Is… is that a narwhal horn sticking out of Nibly’s head in the picture outside the junior high school?
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 08:39 said:
It’s like like someone ruptured the very fabric of spacetime, and we got a candid look at Gloria Tesch’s future.
“Hoppy the Grasshopper visits the Selinka Town” By Gloria Tesch. Aged 47 and STILL the world’s youngest novelist.
HimochiIsAwesome on 18 October 2012, 11:19 said:
Looking at that picture with the school, I think the white might have been a wall. A fence on a wall. They do exist, I think, though IDK why.
@ Prince O’ Tea – That’s an amusing yet scary thought. If she was still making books at that age, how many must she have made..?
…
I feel sorry for the future.
Tim on 18 October 2012, 12:14 said:
Creature_NIL on 18 October 2012, 12:46 said:
Sometime fences are built on walls because the ground is on to separate levels. So the wall is really a retaining wall, and whatever’s up there (a playground for the school?) is fenced off. The path is just sloping up towards the school.
I doubt that is what he is trying to draw though, because anything sensible we’ve come up with so far is invalid in SNel’s world.
Oh, and the school in the picture says, ‘Raglafart Junior High School’. Seeing as junior high is an alternative term for middle school, maybe Nibly just got lost and found the wrong school instead of the one the grade-schoolers told him about.
It’s sad to note that I’m grasping at delusions to preserve any sanity I have left…
Kyllorac on 18 October 2012, 12:59 said:
. . .
Please tell me I wasn’t the only one to immediately see “Rag la Fart”.
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 13:01 said:
I wouldn’t be surprised if she was still plugging the first few Maradonia books she made, and Hopy the Grasshopper was the first book she’s written since then. “Gloria Tesch, the world’s youngest author aged 47…”
swenson on 18 October 2012, 13:02 said:
I didn’t initially, but when I went to Recent Comments just now and scrolled past your post, I thought it said “RAGE FART”.
Licht on 18 October 2012, 13:09 said:
Once she dies her children will inherit the title.
Kyllorac on 18 October 2012, 13:10 said:
Even better.
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 13:36 said:
Do you think so? I can see her going Mommy Dearest on their asses if they try and steal her title by attending creative writing class.
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 13:50 said:
Anyhow I’m reading Tomorrow’s World now…
It’s veered away from Maradonia and into the Legend of Rah and the Muggles.
Betty Cross on 18 October 2012, 15:54 said:
Tomorrow’s World by Davie Henderson?
BTW, I miss the Maradonia sporkings. :(
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 16:56 said:
No, THIS. http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/134419
Likewise, but maybe Rorschach didn’t see the point of sporking Maradonia Fire Red and Leaf Green.
Fireshark on 18 October 2012, 18:05 said:
Even if you see the uncolored patch as a wall (which I do) the perspective still looks terrible. Observe:
I suppose it could work if the wall and fence end at some point obscured by Nibly’s body, but if that were true then there’d be no reason to have a fence at all. And the scale woulld still be off.
Fireshark on 18 October 2012, 18:09 said:
Also, a wall like the one shown would probably not be pure white. It’s lazy that he didn’t color it, no matter what it is supposed to be.
Prince O' Tea on 18 October 2012, 21:45 said:
When I look at it, I imagine he’s walking up a slope, rather then a flat surface, and the school is on top of the slope. It still is pretty crooked, but when I look at that way, it makes more sense.
Tim on 19 October 2012, 05:56 said:
That’s the real school, I imagine Nibly’s walking along a path behind that wall next to the tennis courts. In which case what Steve’s failed to convey is that the path itself is uphill near the school. And also that thing on the right is supposed to be a hedge.
swenson on 19 October 2012, 08:16 said:
Ahh, interesting, so it is a wall.
I still want to know what that bar sticking out of Nibly’s head is, though.
Tim on 19 October 2012, 08:25 said:
I think that’s one side of the roof over the entrance, it’s supposed to be shaped like an inverted V and it looks like Steve’s stuck a tree in halfway along it.
swenson on 19 October 2012, 09:28 said:
Hmm. Very lopsided roof, then, but I see what you’re referring to.
HimochiIsAwesome on 19 October 2012, 11:54 said:
If that’s what the school looks like, then that fence would end before it reached the school, behind Nibly, and turned sideways to make a corner.
But then you’d be able to see the top of the fence through the other fence.
…
And I just noticed that there’s shadow drawn onto the school, but nowhere else in the picture.
AGH, this is just making my headache worse.
Being an art student isn’t helping eitherOrganicLead on 19 October 2012, 17:20 said:
A sign that he had a reference for the school building, but kind of guessed at the rest. Those trees still haunt my nightmares.
Tim on 19 October 2012, 17:28 said:
He probably found the other image I did on google, which is a front elevation of the school building on its own, seems to be a very old building since in that image there’s only a dirt trail leading up to it. So he had the shadows to copy or trace, but he had to guess the path and wall.
Prince O' Tea on 20 October 2012, 09:29 said:
Well, I was worried about my picture book illustrations (one of my teachers called my drawing abilities too weak to carry on using).
So now I’m feeling a lot better about myself now, thanks to the illustrations here.
Master Chief on 21 October 2012, 03:00 said:
Maybe the school is just non-euclidean?
Tim on 21 October 2012, 03:23 said:
Found the other image.
Here, taken in the 1930s
Which shows changing the name was completely pointless because unless they changed it, it doesn’t say “Trafalgar” on the building anyway.