It’s the third-last installment of the Modelland spork! Time to delve into the mountain of exposition that composes the ending of this novel.

Though to be honest, the backstory we go into is kind of interesting, even if it comes to a painfully-cliched revelation as we’ll soon see. At the very least, it’s far more intriguing than the story of Tookie and her friends.

Chapter Forty-One: Stone to Bone, and Flesh

Tookie wakes up, thinking that she’s in her bedroom in Peppertown. She thinks it was all a dream, but eventually she gets back to reality and the face of her screaming LeGizzârd-ified mother. Tookie tells the others that the monster before them is her mother, and then Myrracle climbs over the wall. We only get a description of Myrracle’s eyes, by which Tookie recognizes her, but based on Piper’s words afterwards, Myrracle has been LeGizzârd-ified as well. Tookie then thinks that Myrracle was truly meant to be the one who would go to Modelland, the person whom the BellaDonna replaced with Tookie.

Creamy orders Tookie to take them to the BellaDonna. When Tookie refuses, Creamy starts towards the M plaza, with everyone following behind.

Tookie turned and felt a momentary jolt of pleasure at seeing Myrracle looking so wretched while she herself wore Modelland Dress Uniform couture.

Wow, what a swell person you are Tookie! Feeling happy over your sister being turned into a freak!

Creamy starts yelling at a statue of the BellaDonna. Ci~L mentions that the 7Seven Tournament is ongoing, but that doesn’t stop Creamy from yelling louder. The BellaDonna statue starts moving and starts singing, to which Creamy tells her to shut up. The BellaDonna accuses Ci~L of being part of the events that are unfolding.

“I don’t know what this is, but it’s pretty damn entertaining,” Ci~L said.

Ci~L is a pretty cool character. When she doesn’t get derailed by the author to serve as a red-herring villain.

Tookie thinks that the BellaDonna won’t bother with them, especially on the day of the 7Seven Tournament, but instead the BellaDonna orders them through a ZipZap. Tookie asks if Ci~L is coming, but Ci~L says that she doesn’t want to be around Creamy and Myrracle because of how they remind her of her sister-friends’ bodies.

Then Tookie notices Bravo, who is staring at her. Tookie remembers what he said before ManAttack and watches him licking his thumb and pantomiming wiping Tookie’s eyebrows. These lovebirds are weird. Tookie’s still pissed at him, apparently having forgotten what he said during the match.

Tookie manages to convince Ci~L to come along. They go through the ZipZap and find themselves in the OoAh. Tookie wonders why, and as we’ll see in a bit, it’s solely because there’s something in the OoAh that we’ve already seen which the story needs in order to resolve the plot. They enter the lobby, where Creamy calls out for the BellaDonna. Persimmon appears, prompting Creamy and Myrracle to gasp at the sight of the Mannecant. Persimmon tells them the rules of seeing the BellaDonna, then leads them into an empty room with a BellaDonna statue inside. As Creamy approaches the statue, the statue starts cracking and breaking.

“Ooh, you broke it,” Dylan murmured under her breath to Creamy. “And as we say at the Bou-Big-Tique Nation: you bou-break it, you bou-buy it, baby.”

It’ll be such a relief when I’m done reading stupid dialogue from Dylan.

As the statue crumbles away, it reveals the BellaDonna in the flesh, clearly angry with Creamy.

Chapter Forty-Two: Les Trois Copines

“Oooh,” all the Unicas said at once.

“Boooo…,” the BellaDonna answered, like a seductive ghost.

That made me laugh a little.

To sum up the BellaDonna’s description: she’s hawt. Very hawt. The girls stare at her while her dress changes into a black gown with a spiked collar. Ci~L explains how the BellaDonna sets fashion trends, earning her a kick from Persimmon for talking out of line.

Creamy and the BellaDonna snap at each other like five-year-olds. Tookie is worred about what the BellaDonna might do to her mother. Creamy claims that the BellaDonna sold her soul, prompting the BellaDonna to…change the room to look like the 7Seven stadium, for some reason. Tookie looks around at the crowd, looking at the Bored, various Intoxibellas, and one of the models from the Catwalk Corridor who is popping pills. Piper realizes that the people in the stadium can’t see them, so…

She stuck out her forefinger and thumb and mimicked crushing Chaste’s and Zarpessa’s heads. And in an uncharacteristic way, she said, “Take that, bitches! Who’s translucent now?”

It’s like Tyra Banks is doing everything she can to make her characters into unlikeable jerks.

And then it gets worse.

Dylan sidled up next to Piper, lifted her train, and pulled aside her leotard, baring her butt. She wiggled it at the girls. “This is for you, ladies! Some Bou-Big-Tique booty!”

Now I can take comfort in knowing that everyone reading this spork is as scarred for life from this as I am.

Persimmon tells Piper and Dylan to behave. Creamy tells the BellaDonna that Tookie doesn’t belong in Modelland—Myrracle does. Shiraz speaks out in protest and gets herself kicked by Persimmon. Creamy claims that the BellaDonna has a grudge against her, and the BellaDonna states that she is happy that having Tookie brought to Modelland instead of Myrracle has made Creamy catch the Pilgrim Plague. Then Creamy notices Myrracle dancing along to dancers in the stadium. Creamy slaps Myrracle, angered that Myrracle is more concerned with dancing after everything they’d gone through, which leads to Myrracle running out of the room.

Creamy demands that the BellaDonna let Myrracle into Modelland, or else she’ll tell the others about the BellaDonna. The BellaDonna says that Creamy is simply evil and insults her doll. Creamy gets pissed at the BellaDonna, then tells Tookie that what happened is none of Tookie’s business, leading to Tookie thinking about how she was nothing but an obstacle to her mother. Tookie decides that she deserves to know the personal lives of her mother and the BellaDonna and comes up with a plan to spill the beans.

While Creamy and the BellaDonna fight over Tookie, Tookie inches her way towards the hallway. Once they’re halfway down the hallway, Tookie breaks free and runs towards the Flashback Females. Everyone else follows her into the room. Tookie asks one of the Females if she can see what happened between Creamy and the BellaDonna, but the Female tells her that she can’t access another person’s flashback. Creamy says that she’ll access it, and the BellaDonna tells everyone to leave. The Unicas automatically obey the BellaDonna, Tookie included despite being the one who got everyone into the room. The other Unicas leave, but Tookie trips. The doors slam shut, trapping Tookie and Ci~L inside with Creamy, the BellaDonna, and Persimmon. The BellaDonna tells Persimmon to have the doors opened, but Persimmon points out that the BellaDonna herself made it so that the people inside can’t exit until the flashback is over.

The Females start the flashback, bringing them to the Modelland of the past. A bunch of girls in Bella uniforms come down an escalator, and Tookie recognizes one of them as the BellaDonna as a young woman by the girl’s singing. Another girl accompanying her, a blonde, calls her “Ladonna”, which Tookie realizes is the BellaDonna’s real name. Creative. Ladonna compliments the blonde’s abilities, calling her a “Future Triple7”. The blonde mentions that Ladonna wants to see some man, which Ladonna shushes her over.

A brunette in a glamourous gown comes running up to the group. The blonde calls the brunette “Latta”, which shocks Tookie. The brunette calls the blonde “Percy”, which accompanied by Persimmon shaking her head leads Tookie to realize that Percy must be Persimmon, before she became a Mannecant.

Tookie realizes that the brunette’s dress is identical to the dress that Creamy chose for Myrracle’s Day of Discovery, confirming that “Latta” is Creamy.

And Creamy, the BellaDonna, and Persimmon had once been best friends on their way to becoming Intoxibellas at Modelland.

Chapter Forty-Three: Porcelain Living Dolls

The flashback ends, with Creamy and the BellaDonna hissing at each other. The BellaDonna reveals Creamy’s full maiden name: Cremalatta Defacake.


Even Tookie’s thoughts note how stupid this is.

Tookie asks why Creamy never told her about being a Bella, and Creamy simply dismisses her question. Tookie asks if that’s how Creamy knew that Myrracle would be chosen, with the text noting “Daughters of Intoxibellas had almost a 100 percent chance of getting into Modelland, after all, higher than the chances of SMIZE finders.” Wouldn’t it have been good to have any indication of this earlier in the story? This would have served as excellent foreshadowing to this reveal had we known about it earlier. (Though to be fair, there actually is something that hints at what happened to Creamy earlier in the story, which we will get to soon.)

The Flashback Females initiate another flashback, taking the group to the backstage area of a fashion show. Ladonna and Percy are getting dressed, and with the higher amount of attention Percy is receiving, it’s evident that Percy is the star of the show. Ladonna welcomes a man wheeling in a crate, then introduces him as the “first and only love of [her] life” to Cremalatta and Percy. Ci~L comments on how the BellaDonna was dating a civilian, provoking an enraged shout from the BellaDonna.

Ladonna’s lover mentions Percy’s Triple7 potential, but Cremalatta tells Ladonna how Ladonna’s relationship is against the rules. Ladonna doesn’t care about the rules forbidding Bellas from dating civilians. The show starts up, with Percy leading and Ladonna going second, after some reassuring from her lover. While Cremalatta is still getting dressed, she comes onto Ladonna’s lover, who backs away by jumping up onto a low beam, balancing perfectly upon it.

The scene changes again, into the old Modelland grounds. Tookie and the others follow Percy into the D building, where there is someone throwing up in the bathroom. Percy thinks that it was just the chicken Ladonna ate, but this is proven wrong with “the cry of a tiny baby emerging into the world.”

The Queen BellaDonna shows up, demanding to be let into the bathroom. Percy opens the stall door to find Ladonna and her baby, commenting on the baby’s grey eyes. Ladonna has no idea what to do, and Percy wraps the baby up in her Sentura. The bathroom door bursts open and the Queen BellaDonna walks inside, demanding Ladonna’s baby. Ladonna insists that she had no idea she was even pregnant. The Queen BellaDonna knows that the baby is from Ladonna’s civilian lover and tells her that there is no room for love at Modelland. She states her intention to give the child to her civilian father and expels Percy. Percy refuses to leave, accepting the only other option that allows her to remain at Modelland. Creamy screams at the present BellaDonna for ruining Percy’s life and her Triple7 potential, while the BellaDonna insists that it was Percy’s choice. Persimmon the Mannecant speaks up, telling the BellaDonna that she couldn’t go back to her terrible home, which she described as a “cult of Persequeshun”.

The flashback scene changes to a familiar-looking village where the air is quite hot. Ladonna’s boyfriend exits out of a small shop to find a statue of the Queen BellaDonna and a stone basket at its feet containing the baby. The boyfriend takes the baby in a graceful swoop, leading Tookie to wonder if Ladonna’s boyfriend was (yay, I get to use this again) Chris-Crème-Crobat. Ladonna’s boyfriend takes the baby into his shop, which turns out to be a shoe shop. He places the baby in a shoe-like bed, a shoe that Tookie immediately recognizes: Wingtip’s giant shoe. (Wingtip showed up in Chapter 6, giving Tookie some words of encouragement.)

The flashback ends, returning the group to the OoAh. Tookie confronts Creamy about knowing who Wingtip was all along, with Ci~L remarking that Creamy’s behaviour towards Wingtip was the exact opposite of not looking at him like Creamy had told Tookie to do. BellaDonna gives Wingtip’s name, Ray Faye, just as another flashback begins.

In the Modelland of the past, Ladonna tells Cremalatta that she needs to see her baby. Cremalatta tells Ladonna to wait until after the 7Seven Tournament, but Ladonna insists that she won’t be able to concentrate without seeing her baby. Cremalatta remarks on the aging barrier around Modelland, but Ladonna insists that she’ll be able to have it reversed since she’s royalty. With that, the two girls climb over the wall and into the Diabolical Divide. Once past the wall, both girls’ faces immediately age.

Remember when Creamy was first introduced in this book? Her description mentioned that while her body looked youthful, her face bore the signs of age.

Now jump ahead to when Desperada climbed over the wall. Did Desperada’s body age? No. Did her face age? Yes.

That’s good foreshadowing. That is laying clues along the way about a revelation. Not to mention that we had a second dose of good foreshadowing—Creamy was so knowledgeable about the Diabolical Divide because she had already survived the trip once.

Cremalatta immediately asks Ladonna to make them youthful again, but Ladonna tells her to wait until they’re through the Divide. The flashback jumps ahead to Ray Faye’s shop, which happens to be near the Bangles, Baubles, and Beads factory that had been Tookie’s school in the beginning of the story. When Ray Faye greets the two women, he’s shocked by their aged faces, but assures Ladonna that he loves her for her voice more than her face anyway.

A while later, Ladonna says that she’s going to get some formula. She complains about having gained cataracts from the age barrier.

I’m sure we all know where this is going.

Cremalatta goes into the kitchen, pretending to be Ladonna and taking a suggestive pose. When Ray Faye enters the kitchen, Cremalatta throws him onto the kitchen table, insisting that he wants her. Ray Faye tries to struggle against Cremalatta, but Cremalatta demands him to tell her that he loves her.

Then Ladonna walks in, carrying a milk jug. When she sees Cremalatta on top of Ray Faye, she drops the jug of milk. Naturally. Ray Faye tries to tell Ladonna that Cremalatta assaulted him while Cremalatta tries to make it look like Ray Faye came onto her. Ladonna ends up believing Cremalatta and becomes furious at Ray Faye.

Then Modelland security shows up, breaking down the door and dragging them all back to Modelland, on account of Ladonna being royalty. Cremalatta worries about their faces, and Ladonna reassures her that she’ll have their faces turned back to normal.

The scene changes to the crystal hall of the Bored at Modelland. The Queen BellaDonna gives Ladonna an ultimatum: leave Modelland forever to live with Ray Faye and her baby, or have her youth restored and forsake Ray Faye and the baby forever. Ladonna laments being forced to choose between her baby and her beauty, but eventually chooses to relinquish her baby on the condition that Ray Faye doesn’t get to raise her. Ray Faye protests until he is dragged away from the guards, screaming all the while.

Cremalatta asks about her fate, to which the Queen BellaDonna tells her to get lost. When Cremalatta asks about her lost beauty, the Queen BellaDonna refuses to return it. Furious about Ladonna being unable to fulfill her promise, Cremalatta confesses having jumped Ray Faye despite his resistance. Knowing the truth about Ray Faye, Ladonna tries to change her mind, but the Queen BellaDonna states that Ladonna has already made her choice. She hands the baby over to a Mannecant, who Ladonna immediately recognizes as Percy. Ladonna asks the Mannecant Persimmon for her baby, but the Queen BellaDonna tells her that Persimmon’s loyalty is to the BellaDonna throne. She tells Ladonna that she made the right choice and what her destiny shall be as BellaDonna. Ladonna asks about her eyesight, which the Queen BellaDonna refuses to heal as a reminder of what Ladonna had done. Ladonna begs to be allowed to hold her child one last time…

Ladonna sank to her knees as Percy vanished down the long hallway with her child in her arms. “Give her back to me! Give me my…Ci~L!”

Dun dun duuuuun!

Modelland has managed to do something that it has been trying to do for the entirety of the book but failed miserably at (with the exception of Lizzie, of course). Modelland has presented us with characters that we can feel sorry for. We have seen a genuine villainous character here in Creamy, an interesting villain, as opposed to the idiocy that was the “Ci~L is evil; oh wait, she’s just crazy” plot.

In the space of three chapters, Modelland has made me feel more sympathy for the BellaDonna and Persimmon than it has for the entire heroine ensemble. Even Myrracle, the bratty and stupid sister, has warranted more sympathy than Tookie has. The only time I’ve felt a hint of sympathy for Tookie was way back at the beginning, when she had actually taken steps to avoid becoming a Factory Dependant and had her plans for Exodus ultimately ruined.

This book has made me more sympathetic for the cruel, sadistic bee-yotch than the main character.

Next time, for the second-last installment of the Modelland spork: impalement, torture, and beheading!

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  1. Pryotra on 9 June 2013, 13:31 said:

    You know Tookie, you shouldn’t be feeling too smug. Buttocks of the Cream doesn’t sound that much better than Defacake.

    And yes. Yes, you are right. This book has made be feel sympathy for almost everyone other than the main characters. Creamy is honestly an interesting villain and a threatening one, and the BellaDonna is kind of a jerkass woobie now.

    Congrats on managing to stick through the horrid book. You deserve a nice break and cookies once your done.

  2. Alicia on 9 June 2013, 18:59 said:

    Wow, the storyline actually turned out to be pretty complex. I honestly didn’t even see her mom as the main villain coming; I guess Banks was faking us out with the Ci~L vs. Belladonna thing.

    It is interesting though — every single character has a weird name, so it is kind of weird that “Creamalatta Defacake” is being singled out for ridicule by the narrative. It would be as if, in Harry Potter, if the narrative just came out and ridiculed one of the meaningful names (the guy after a wolf is the werewolf? LOL!!) but not all of the others.

  3. Brendan Rizzo on 9 June 2013, 19:34 said:

    Oh, where is my DramaButton link? This would be the very best time to use it.

    Strangely enough, I disagree about the twists being stupid. I honestly didn’t see any of them coming. Once I realized what was going on, I actually thought that Tookie was gonna be Ladonna’s kid somehow; I’m actually glad that the author faked us out and didn’t go for that.

    Now, was it ever said before that BellaDonna is an inherited position? Because all this time I was thinking that she was some kind of evil deity, but she was a student once? Weird. Lemme guess, we aren’t going to hear about her going mad with power, because that would actually be cool.

    Wait, if Ci~L is Ladonna’s kid, then doesn’t that mean that, earlier— OH GOD.

  4. Maxie on 9 June 2013, 23:19 said:

    Earlier what??