Because I’ve recently found out I have blood pressure problems, I’ll try to rage less in this chapter. That’s not to say I won’t rage, but instead of screaming to the heavens about literary injustice, I’ll try and make it witty and sarcastic and actually funny.
I let myself into the house, grab a bottle of water from the fridge, then head upstairs to my room, since I don’t have to poke around any further to know Sabine’s still at work. Sabine’s always at work, which means I get this whole huge house to myself, pretty much all the time, even though I usually just stay in my room.
Absent parental figure, check. One more shot of Qoo. Another example of lazy writing. Oh, the question of how on earth Ever is going to cope with the loss of her family has been raised? I don’t want to write about old characters when I can footle around writing pages upon pages about how hot Damen is. Foolproof plan. The readership won’t give a damn either.
I feel bad for Sabine. I feel bad that the life she worked so hard for was forever changed the day she got stuck with me. But since my mom was an only child and all of my grandparents had passed by the time I was two, it’s not like she had much of a choice.
I can understand where the Amazon reviewers are coming from when they say that this is a rip-off of ‘Twilight’, using an almost exact template. Girl moves from somewhere we don’t care about to somewhere else she doesn’t really know about to live with a distant parental figure that she’s not going to interact with that much in favor of someone who is more attractive. I mean, who needs parents when you have Adonis-like boyfriends? It’s not as if they really care. They probably just don’t want you to get hurt, but pshh… you know you can take care of yourself perfectly well. After all, you already know everything there is to know under the sun and above it. Classic literature FTW! And besides, you have Edward/Damen/Jace/Patch/Whatever to take care of you!
See, you don’t need parents.
And then, we get this boatload of description. It’s not even done well.
I mean, I have all the usual things like a bed, a dresser, and a desk. But I also have a flat screen TV, a massive walk-in closet, a huge bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub and separate shower stall, a balcony with an amazing ocean view, and my own private den/ game room, with yet another flat screen TV; a wet bar, microwave, mini fridge, dishwasher, stereo, couches, tables, beanbag chairs, the works.
I’m sorry honey, but I just don’t give a fuck. Also, why is the ‘J’ in ‘Jacuzzi’ capitalised? Is it supposed to be? I wonder what ‘the works’ are. Sounds mysterious. Sorry if I seem a little stupid, I’ve never seen it capitalised before.
I guess since Sabine spends most of her time around other lawyers and all those VIP executives her firm represents, she actually thought all of this stuff was necessary or something.
Well, she obviously didn’t expect to be landed with a brat like you, did she? Shut up and be thankful that you have a house to badly describe, you little twit.
After that weird descriptiondump (new word, yay me!) about her room, Ever starts telling us about her marvelous gift of psychicness. She gets things wrong sometimes, doesn’t always know what people are thinking, but then says this:
Anyway, I don’t think you have to be clairvoyant to know that when people dream of having kids they’re usually thinking in terms of a pastel-wrapped, tiny bundle of joy, and not some five-foot-four, blue-eyed, blond-haired teenager with psychic powers and a ton of emotional baggage. So because of that, I try to stay quiet, respectful, and out of Sabine’s way.
It may just be me, but that first sentence sounds like a rather imaginative way of letting me know what you look like. At least it’s not a mirror scene, thank God. But that last one… at least try and connect with your guardian, dudette. It’s not asking for much.
She’s stuck with you, she’s given you all that shit you told us about above, you might as well try and look thankful instead of telling us you don’t talk to her much. Jeez. Shut up and say thank you.
And I definitely don’t let on that I talk to my dead little sister almost every day.
Is this where things get interesting? Please? Pretty please? Please write this scene well and handle it tactfully, Noël.
So we’re told that Ever saw Riley for the first time (after her death) at the hospital, where she assumed she was hallucinating.
One problem I have with this book is that the settings are underdescribed, if that’s a word. There is no real detail in any of the settings, so the whole foundation holding the book up is stick-thin. She, like so many YA Paranormal Romance authors out there, has lost sight of what the readers actually care about. Not a hot Love Interest. A story. A good story. Is that too much to ask?. Forget what she said above about her room.
So then Ever’s in the hospital, and while she’s there, Riley shows her a painting of a beautiful landscape.
rude interruption by Potatoman
Hey, did you guys notice that her school and stuff weren’t really described that much? Is it your stereotypical, everyday high school? That, to me, forms a barrier in my mind and prevents me from imagining the settings in detail which seems like an important part when writing fiction. It just separates me from the characters and stops me from caring. But it’s not as if I cared much anyway.
Anyway, Sabine asks Ever to make a list of all the stuff that she’d like to bring with her to California.
I just couldn’t bear a single reminder of everything I’d lost, since it’s not like some stupid box full of crap would ever bring my family back.
You know, that box full of crap contains things that belonged to your family. In a way, you’re disrespecting their memory by calling their belongings ‘crap’. Just letting you know, dumbass.
Facepalm God, we’re actually supposed to like this girl? Cheese and rice.
The whole time I was cooped up in that sterile white room, I received regular visits from a psychologist, some overeager intern with a beige cardigan and clipboard, who always started our sessions with the same lame question about how I was handling my “profound loss” (his words, not mine).
Oh em gee, this guy wants to help me get over this huge loss and actually move on with my life and all I want to do is tell him to go fuck himself. What’s wrong with that? I REALLY HATE THIS BITCH.
So Ever goes to her new house in California and goes to her room, crying her eyes out. Then, Riley shows up, tells her to stiffen up her upper lip and appreciate the view. And whaddya know? The view outside is exactly the same as the painting that she showed Ever in the hospital. Whoooo… mystical. What a coinkydink.
With that, the chapter ends. If you guys found this more subdued side of me boring, let me know and I’ll try and be a little more on fire next time. Until then, goodbye and thanks for reading!
Ecirb Ray on 12 January 2014, 17:39 said:
My brother and I loved this chapter, and the last equally.
And by loved we mean love you and hate this little spoiled brat.
I mean seriously? A walk in closet, flat screen tv, jacuzzi, shower stall and balcony? My parents had all of this in their room in China, where our middle class is their upper class. Two adults, not a single, whinny teenager. I mean, Sabine is a lawyer, but seriously, how rich is she?
Danielle on 12 January 2014, 18:36 said:
I think the lawyer thing is just a cover. Given all of this ostentatious material wealth, it’s clear that Sabine is actually a drug lord, who, seeing Ever’s latent psychic powers, caused the car accident that killed Ever’s family and brought her powers to the surface. Sabine then adopted Ever with the intention of using her psychic powers in the drug-running business. Unfortunately, Ever’s head was too far up her backside for her to be of any real use. So Sabine sent Damen, an undead thug in her pay, to distract Ever from her own Emotionally Scarring Backstory™ and bring her into the ranks of Sabine’s thugs.
Resistance on 12 January 2014, 18:55 said:
You know what I have in my bedroom? A fucking bed.
I’m not certain, but I think Jacuzzi is a brand name.
Will the whine-fest never end? It seems as if Ever’s never really troubled by her parents death (especially since she spends about a paragraph on her room and two words on her “emotional baggage”; also, thanks for showing not telling, Noel sarcasm).
EXACTLY.
If I lost my family in a tragic car crash, I’d treasure any little thing like gold. Who cares if it won’t ‘bring them back’? It’s better than having nothing.
I hate this therapist sterotype. I’m sure there are some out there like this, but generally, I think most of them want to help.
snicker
This spork is a perfect end to a perfect day.
Juracan on 12 January 2014, 23:04 said:
I kind of want to say that Ever’s selfishness is due to her being a teenager, but as someone that goes around reading minds, you’d think she’d be more… empathetic, perhaps? I dunno— either she’d be more aware of everyone’s problems and be more devoted to helping people, or she’d be more callous because she’s aware of what’s everyone’s pettiness and vices. Or she’d go back and forth between them.
Still, this is just so… high school. I mean, she doesn’t act or think like she’s any different than anyone else in any way. And she should know this if she reads minds.
Ziggy on 12 January 2014, 23:52 said:
Jacuzzi is in the (simultaneously awesome and unpleasant) position of being a company whose name is synonymous with their product.
It’s kind of like how people say ‘Kleenex’ when they mean ‘tissue’, or ‘Xerox’ to mean ‘photocopy’. Nowadays people call any kind of hot tub a ‘Jacuzzi’ but if you want to be really technical/nitpicky only a hot tub made by the Jacuzzi corporation should be called that, just like you technically shouldn’t call tissues ‘Kleenexes’ unless they are made by that company and you shouldn’t use the word ‘Xerox’ to describe photocopying unless you’re sure that you are using a machine made by
Hey, did you guys notice that her school and stuff weren’t really described that much? Is it your stereotypical, everyday high school? That, to me, forms a barrier in my mind and prevents me from imagining the settings in detail which seems like an important part when writing fiction. It just separates me from the characters and stops me from caring. But it’s not as if I cared much anyway.
I guess you’re meant to just remember the stock descriptions from the 85,000 other books in this genre that are exactly the same. I can admire the efficiency here (does anyone really care what a high school looks like) but I agree that it does create a barrier for the reader.
It does seem to be a problem throughout the whole book though. The author is clearly just following a template here and they are anxious to get to the part that’s fun to write. They know that all books in this genre need a distant impassive caregiver, a sassy best friend, a scene where the main character goes through the school day feeling weird, a scene where they describe where they live, etc but she doesn’t really care about any of this so she goes through it as quickly as possible.
She’ll probably slow down when the paranormal romance part starts in earnest, but I’d be surprised if the writing quality improved…
Potatoman on 13 January 2014, 00:18 said:
I hate this book so much.
Aww thank you :)
Unreasonably rich! So that she is pushed out of the way and is of no importance whatsoever to the story (or lack of it).
Well. I would have liked to read this book. Honestly, you know a book is bad when somebody writes a really messed-up (in a good way) synopsis of what they think the book is about and it turns out a whole lot better than the original book. Lord help me.
Same here. Imagine if Ever’s been on LSD the whole time! That would make for a fun read.
I think a lot of YA PR authors mistake whining for developing their main character. To them, it seems that the more that their MC whines about, the more the audience will end up caring for their ‘problems’. Not so.
They genuinely do. I had to go to a therapist for a month or so for trauma counselling, and she was the most wonderful lady that could have been there for me at the time.
Aw shucks… :P
Well, like I tried to say before, this self-absorbed MC seems like a rather warped effort to make the readers care (as with the fact that this and a lot of other YA books are written in third person so that we are inside her head) but ends up failing miserably. Of course, they don’t dive headfirst into a novel intending to write a psychopathic character but IMO the psychosis is a residue from the characters not being characterised as they should have been. Either that or we’re just not looking at the characters how Noël wanted us to look at them.
Say we do end up sympathising with Ever and Damen, like so many fangirls out there. I can’t do it, because it doesn’t seem logical. Not that love is logical most of the time, but these kinds of books like to take logic behind and outhouse and beat the living shit out of it before urinating on its broken body. It seems as though the more ridiculous and clichéd and trope-y the characters’ interactions are, the more unlikeable and selfish and whiny they become, the more we are supposed to like them.
In a way, you could say that they do grow and develop. Just in a supremely shitty way.
Tim on 13 January 2014, 02:23 said:
The term for that is “genericised trademark.” It’s actually happened that companies have lost trademarks due to them being too common to defend as unique to their brand; for example, “Gundam” is such a common term for giant robots in South Korea that the makers of the actual show weren’t allowed to trademark it, and Transformer toys describe what they do as “converting” to avoid the term being associated with what the toy does rather than what it is.
The companies care about it because of the potential loss of their distinctive brand name and the ability for people to imitate it (for example, it’s totally legal to market a vacuum cleaner as a hoover in the UK even if you’re not Hoover) but nobody else does, and it’s rather odd to see jacuzzi as a proper noun as a result. Hell, Firefox’s spellcheck doesn’t think it needs a capital letter.
The Smith of Lie on 13 January 2014, 07:40 said:
You know what? That whole scenario – parents dead in car accident, aquisition of supernatural powers, being pestered by a supernatural being, living pretty much on her own… All that sounds familiar to me. And lo and behold, I’ve seen it done better somewhere.
Now not only I want sword wielding Clancy Brown to show up, I am irrationaly hoping for Ever to start fighting witches at behest of red-eyed-wasel-cat-thing (／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ he stares into your soul), so that it can turn out in a cruel twist that she is practically a lich… You know what, that fanfic crossover actually needs to be written.
Epke on 13 January 2014, 15:00 said:
So… who is Sabine exactly? Her paternal aunt? Her god-mother? A family friend?
Oh, wow, someone went overboard with their house in the Sims, clearly. All of this material wealth is just so show off how Ever doesn’t care about it right, ‘cause she’s special and stuff? I’m surprised she isn’t mentioning the rolls of cash used as padding for the mattress.
I would keep something of them that would always remind me that these people existed and were alive at some point. Photos, some piece of clothing (not underwear) that they really liked that carries their scent… a drawing from my sister or a birthday card. A letter from my mother that, in the dead of the night, I would open up and just trace the handwriting with my fingers. That worn home video with our first cam corder, which shows me blowing out candles at a birthday party and tossing cake at my dad.
Ever, your mother, father and sister existed and now only lives in your memory (and Sabine’s, depending on what relation they had). The fact that you don’t even consider something trivial as mementos worth your time speaks volumes of what a person you are. Screw you.
You mean the Vampire Diaries?
The Smith of Lie on 13 January 2014, 17:37 said:
Possible. I rather meant a (probably pretty niche) anime – Puella Magi Madoka Magica (also known as Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica). It had a character with similar backstory to Ever. Only she was way more awesome. Had magical power of materializing large quantities of flintlock rifles.
On the, shilling, side note I heartily recommend Madoka Magica to anyone. It may seem like a silly Sailor Moon clone. It isn’t. Check what I said about coughing up magical flintlock rifles above.
Brendan Rizzo on 19 February 2014, 21:47 said:
You know, that would be pretty hilarious if the author turned out to be an anime fan, and that was a deliberate reference.
Scarlet Specter on 19 June 2014, 18:58 said:
…And she’s complaining because…? I hate these characters. I really do. This is even worse than Twilight because Ever is turning an enormous tragedy into a license to moan and whine. And screw the “Because she’s a teenager” argument. In my experience that mostly applies to hormonal, over-privileged teens who don’t know how good they have it; which is exactly how Ever behaves, not like someone who’s lost everyone they love. Figures why these books’ have such mainstream appeal…
Sorry, but I’m gonna have to disagree with you there. Twilight’s success says otherwise.