Aaaaand we’re back! Sorry about the wait, but we wanted to be sure that everything was just right for this chapter. And as promised, Nate and I are doing something very special for this chapter: an all-picture spork! For those of you who are new to this series, links to the previous parts can be found below:
Part 1, Chapter 1 – Part 1, Chapter 1 – Part 2, Part 3, Part 4a, Part 4b
And now, part 5a of the D:LT Spork:
An aerial river stretched out from the center of the Pedorian Forest, snaking over a vast grassy plain amid the morning sun.
DF – 
It was a tube of transparent liquid that hovered above the fields, an aqueduct constructed neither of machine, dragon, thunderbird, kraken, nor man, but of nature in its infinite wisdom. Such oddities were commonplace in the realm of the World, for the environments of the planet were spawned forth from limitless imagination.
DF – 
Such creativity could only have been crafted by the mind of a dragon
DF – 
or a demon, or perhaps both united. No one knew where or how everything began, for that was the essence of the cosmos. Uncertain. Chaotic.
DF – 
No matter how hard they tried, few warriors could challenge the tested temperament of entropy unbound. Few could defy the endless variation of the earth and catalog everything there was to know about it.
DF –
However, if no one tried to accomplish omniscience, no one would have existed in the first place.
Dennagon trudged through the grass, his noggin aching from having been twice stricken at close range.
DF – 
Lyconel walked in front of him, but he could not do anything do her, for the rest of her comrades had their weapons drawn at his back. Nomax and Lefius, the two grunts, kept a close eye on him, ready to strike him down at any time. Behind them, the elder hydra that followed Lyconel into the grove of the Pedorian Forest seemed to be lagging greatly, slowing them down. He wondered why they didn’t just abandon him, since he was evidently too old to fight and too mutilated to heal even with the most powerful of spells. Regardless, judging by his looks, he appeared to be important.
DF – 
Dradicus slithered warily around the area, jumping wildly from side to side. He could move faster than any of his colleagues, and for this speed, they made him the scout of the group. Constantly, he was assessing the peril of the environment according to enemy footprints, bestial scents and anything else that might indicate the presence of a malignant force. So far, on this fine morning, there was nothing to incite defensive actions, but they kept their guards up nonetheless.
NW – 
He decided to take a short break. Wriggling across the ground to Dennagon’s side, he poked his new friend’s shoulder with a wurmy tail.
“By the way, I’m Dradicus, sibling of Lyconel
DF – 
and scout of this dissident company. Good to have someone else on our side. That’s what we’re here for, to bring those without the sight of conscious to the realm of understanding.”
He was beginning to sound like a religious acolyte, and he knew it. Desisting in his pitiful tone, he resumed.
“Nice spellbook you have there. I personally never liked spells, since I don’t usually have the same mana capacity that most other dragons do. Magic makes me as thirsty as a desert in its drought season. Don’t ask me to cast any spells, nosiree-bob…”
NW – 
Still no response. Perhaps he should focus less on himself.
“The ouroboros is Nomax and the wyvern is Lefius. Nomax likes bladed disks, but Lefius is more on the long-range side with his crossbow and all.”
Dradicus then pointed to the hydra.
“Old Ballaxior is the name of the hydra. He guides us through difficult times. His thoughts lay out our paths along this journey, for he has known war longer than any of us. Perhaps we like him because he does all the thinking for us.”
NW – 
Dennagon’s face was as icy as a stone locked in frigid carbon dioxide. He was considering clocking the idiot over the head just as forcefully as he was knocked out twice last night. His aggressive stride made no effort to hide that.
Dradicus’ goofy smile receded off his visage. It was time to shut up again.
DF – 
A wave of warped light flashed across the tube-like river from the distorted sunlight passing through the water. The contorted illumination washed over them, breaking the image of the solar entity into fractured fragments that melded together slightly at the connectedness of the fluid body. The sight intrigued Dennagon himself, for albeit he had traveled far and wide in his years as a knowledge hunter, he did no frequently see these types of bizarre landscapes. By rationale, if such places were common, then he should have witnessed far more of these kinds of terrestrial structures. Unless of course, he was being led somewhere unique.
NW – 
That should not have been all too surprising. After all, in the past thirty hours, he had just lost his entire kingdom and was sent on a quest with a bunch of bandits
DF – 
who he was now too weak to kill. He hadn’t had rations in a while, but it was not the disorientation of hunger that made him delusional. There was still a good amount of knowledge in the World to be salvaged and it was the need for such intellectual stimulation that was driving him nuts. He needed to learn something. Fast.
NW – 
The first thing that came to mind was his enemy.
“What were those things?”
“What?” chimed Lyconel, even though she already suspected the answer.
“Those three dragons of steel veins that commanded the collective?”
“Technodragons. Futuristically enhanced reptiles.”
“Futuristic? What do you mean?”
NW – 
Dradicus could not help but jump in. His mind was riddled with riddles and there was nothing more preponderant in his pondering brain than paradoxes preposterous.
NW – 
“Yes, Lyconel. Tell us. What does the future mean? Is this not the future now constantly budding from the stems of the past? Thus should we not think of the future as analogous to the present and the past likewise melded with what is the ultimate ‘now’? Why then, do we even need a term annotated as the ‘future’?”
DF – 
Lyconel rolled her eyes and tucked her head down at her inquisitive brother.
“Assuming that we ignore this oaf,” she said to Dennagon,
DF – 
“Then we can assume that the future is composed of the unseen depths that lay ahead in the path we travel along time. Those Technodragons were augmented by a time not yet arrived in this World.”
Dennagon had read time travel stories many times before. They usually bored him out of his mind, what with all their senseless contradictions, and he hoped that this was not going to be another false myth told by an ignoramus.
NW – 
“So what are they capable of?” he pragmatically questioned.
“Like all things in life, it matters less what they can do than what their ultimate purpose is.”
“And what would that be?”
“To take control of dragonkind and reap the spoils of victory alongside…the sapiens.”
The words nearly knocked him flat on his back. The sapiens were the nightmare race of all existence, feared by everyone in the collective since the time they were hatched. He could hardly imagine any sentry working peacefully in the presence of a human, let alone in the presence of the sapien subspecies that evolved from men. In fact, no one alive had ever seen a sapien and lived to tell about it as far as he knew.
DF – 
Despite his shock, however, he was not completely weak-minded. He was open to other conceptions, even if his will strongly attached him to another.
“Are you surprised, Dennagon? Have you not noticed how knowledge breaks the free will of any creature, even a dragon?”
NW – 
“That I have seen with my own two eyes, yet even mine eyes can lie.”
“As can mine, but for now, you have nothing to believe in. So hear me. The enemy collective is conspiring with the sapiens to corrupt the minds of all dragons so that the Lexicon remains forever hidden.”
“That implies that all the knowledge I was hunting was actually no more than mental contagion.”
Just then, he stepped on something squishy. A black orb splattered under his feet, spilling its sugary fluids all over his feet. Drekkenoth had actually thrown one of them that far, and it now painted his lower body in ebony. The putrid substance dripped off his abdomen, and he sampled it in his claws.
“Precisely,” Confirmed Lyconel. “We’re hunted because we refused to accept their data and their collective.”
NW – 
Dennagon scented the sticky substance. Inside, he could feel that it contained the atomic number for uranium, something that the Archive had not yet discovered, along with other information about chemistry that the sentries would have desired. In addition to its valuable facts, it had a pleasant aroma, but now that he actually examined it closer, he could feel a swell of dark mana rolling around its atoms. It was so faint that it was barely discernable, but he could detect it anyway. A lesser organism would not have been able to.
“These black orbs. They’re meant to grant one knowledge of the workings of the World, but they bear an evil essence.” He shot a confused glance at Lyconel. “Why would the Drakemight collective want to damage its own units?”
NW – 
Lyconel drew her mace. Running one of its spikes against her shoulder, she gave herself a small cut.
“A damaged organism heals itself with greater potency.”
Silver blood dripped from her wound.
“You see, Dennagon, now that they have tasted the dire holocaust of nuclear fire, they have hastened their absorption of information. Information, once wired into the draconic nervous system, can never be deleted. The more they work at gathering and consuming data, the more their minds grow corrupt and unwavering, as if their brains were water being frozen into unmoving and unchangeable ice. That’s why we need you.”
Dennagon, flattered and suspicious, cocked a brow.
NW – 
“In order to defeat them, we must tap into the sole source of omniscience – the Lexicon.”
“And what have I that you don’t?”
“The Lexicon can only be acquired if one attains an object known as the Key. There are many obstacles on the way to this item, countless trials of difficulty that are meant to test the creatures that dare seek the ultimate goal of existence. These challenges, wrought with the influence of imagined physical laws from the powerful minds of the most potent magicians in all the lands, can only be surpassed by one who has extensive expertise on the laws of physics.”
DF – 
Dennagon felt like taking a dump. Luckily, he hadn’t any fecal matter left in his empty stomach.
DF – 
“Y-you must be jested once more.”
“Enough with the false modesty. We’ve been watching you through telepathic means.
DF – 
You spent all your life reading those mountains of books that were piled up in your domicile.”
“I’ll even wager that he knows the gravitational force on the sun,” butted in Dradicus.
Dennagon was always prepared for battle. However, by the tone of their voices, he could tell that those “tests” he would have to encounter were all but easy to surpass. He wondered what kind of beasts he would have to fight later on…For now, nevertheless, he was just trying to absorb and accept that which seemed to be his fate.
NW – 
“Are you certain about those things you say, warrior Lyconel?”
“As certain as one can be,” she replied with a twinkle in her eye.
Ballaxior craned his necks up, including the ones that had been severed. All of his heads looked up to the aerial river, which had turned greener whilst they mobilized. He pointed up, and everyone viewed the algae and vegetation that thrived in this part of the body of water. Finally, there would be rations to restore their much-needed nutrition.
“About time,” commented Dradicus.
Most of the crew could fly up thirty feet to reach it, but Lyconel and Dradicus weren’t blest with wings. It was a wonder how the former managed to soar to the sky without the aid of such bodily apparatuses, let alone how she survived the plunge from the clouds after she and Dennagon fought.
NW – 
Notwithstanding, they all continued moving to find a spot where they could stop close enough to reach the water from the ground level.
As they walked the terrain began to slant. Tilting by 90-degrees, it curved around as if to wrap around a spiral formation, yet they were all still bound to it by gravity. Dennagon displayed a quizzical expression.
“Something wrong?” asked Lyconel.
NW – 
As if she couldn’t tell just by looking.
“This land is twisted upon itself.”
“Like so many things in existence.”
“Yet, we’re still standing on it.”
“Space and time are relative. Direction and meaning are defined by relations.”
DF – 
“Space…I do remember reading about space.”
He looked to the sky, wondering whether or not he should doubt the certitude of the outer vacuum that supposedly encased the entire globe. Before he could come to a conclusion, they ceased at a point where the land inverted by 180-degrees and the water was within talon’s reach. This part of the river practically bubbled with greenery, and the dragons dove their limbs into it. Algae started to collect on their scales.
Dennagon did not bother to gather any morsels of plankton, though. He would probably have expended more energy than he would have gained by doing so, since underwater verdure
DF – 
was generally not the most appetizing of foods. He was more interested in the twisting land, seeing as to how the sky was now oriented toward where he used to be standing.
“I’ve never seen this element of the World before.”
“Believe me, there’s much more to be seen,” Lyconel said as she licked up some clumps of algae on her arms.
DF – 
Spontaneously, she dove into the river and paddled through the liquid with her drake talons. Her actions frivolous, Dennagon grew impatient.
“What are you doing, bathing?! Where the heck are we going, anyway?”
“Direction is relative. I’ll tell you when I’m done.”
“This is ridiculous. Shouldn’t we be heading forth now?”
NW – 
“I’m not moving on an empty stomach,” growled Nomax.
He too joined her in the waters. Shortly, Lefius dived in along with Ballaxior. Amidst the waters, they more easily consumed the aquatic vegetation floating throughout.
“Well, my friend,” said Dradicus as he patted Dennagon’s back. “Truth may be subjective, but one thing’s for sure – we need rations to survive.”
With that, he slithered into the liquid stream and joined the meager meal. Dennagon watched as they swam about like fish in a tank, bound to their need for nutrition.
DF – 
He had starved himself of Drekkenoth’s black orbs long enough, and considering the circumstances now, he did not regret doing so. There was no reason not to forego the satisfaction of hunger in place of the necessity for progress.
DF – 
“Then I shall find what must be found,” he muttered to himself.
He looked to the direction they were headed toward and espied the river up ahead. Squinting his eyes, he could faintly see what lay a mile away, and a crimson patch filled his vision. There was blood in the waters further on, which meant that there was meat. Savory carnage that was recently killed and probably plentiful enough to appease his extraordinary craving.
NW – 
He was generally inclined to handle his duties before devouring rations, but since there were no assigned tasks to him at the moment, there was no reason to remain ascetic.
DF – 
If he couldn’t assimilate any more knowledge, he might as well have a snack.
Licking his lips, he turned to inform his comrades of his departure. However, they appeared too occupied in their bantering and algae “feasting” to heed his leaving.
“I’ll be gone for just a moment,” he thought
DF – 
as he started toward the other end of the river.
Adam on 12 April 2009, 17:22 said:
That was well-worth the wait.
That heavily reminds me of this thing. And I also loved A:tLA when it was airing, and still do to an extent, so…that little nostalgia factor was nice as well.
How many chapters are there in this book, by the way?
Snow White Queen on 12 April 2009, 17:27 said:
LOLCATS!!!
How I love those little kitties.
lccorp2 on 12 April 2009, 18:00 said:
Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.
This makes no sense at all.
sansafro on 12 April 2009, 18:13 said:
“nosiree-bob”
…seriously?
Jeni on 12 April 2009, 18:14 said:
Yeah, next time can we have actual words with implied criticism rather than a bunch of old macros?
Having them every now and then is fun, but using them to do your job is a bit meh.
Spanman on 12 April 2009, 18:33 said:
Pictures are alright, but usually only when they’re accompanied by some sort of scathing remark by the sporkers.
But envisioning a dragon saying “what the heck?” has given me quite enough lulz for the day… XD
Snow White Queen on 12 April 2009, 18:40 said:
Yes, I miss your old scathing remarks…perhaps you can meld that with the pictures?
(I did get my LOLcat dose for the day, so I’m in a good mood. :D)
Puppet on 12 April 2009, 21:08 said:
I think if you don’t have any pictures in the sporks, and make the sporks shorter, they might be more tolerable.
Screamingfangirl on 12 April 2009, 23:21 said:
I liked the pictures…they were funny.
But I like scathing remarks too.
The pictures really broke up the spork for me, because I didn’t have to do as much reading. But if they were a bit shorter that would probably have the same effect, and we could have some of your wonderful non-picture input too^^.
Invisible Enemy Kitty=so cute!
Nate WInchester on 12 April 2009, 23:26 said:
Actually using pics only on this one was (for me) far more challenging than anything we’ve done before. But then, I limited myself to only pictures I could find, no creating one of those motivational posters or anything.
And we’re not going to do the rest of the book this way. Just this chapter… at most.
Gray Falcon on 13 April 2009, 20:59 said:
Now I see why you only used pictures. There don’t appear to be any words in the English language to describe how awful that was. “Such creativity could only have been crafted by the mind of a dragon” sounds like what Eng is saying is, “Hey, I bet no more white or black guy could come up with something like this!”, while “Are you surprised, Dennagon? Have you not noticed how knowledge breaks the free will of any creature, even a dragon?” comes across as a “Science is all just a conspiracy!” type of statement.
Juniper on 13 April 2009, 21:42 said:
This was the best spork EVAR. Maybe that just means I like illustrations in my stories. :P
The Drunk Fox on 13 April 2009, 21:53 said:
Grey Falcon: Between that, and contradictions (with more and worse ones on the way!) that make DF cry…
Just using your examples:
Funny, two sentences ago he said it couldn’t have been!
Said by the same character who later said the reason they needed him was because he had enough knowledge to get the stupid key or whatever! Yes, I know he didn’t get it from the ESHFE, but 1) they didn’t make that distinction, and 2) …well, you’ll see.
And it only gets worse…
Gray Falcon on 13 April 2009, 22:05 said:
My guess is, Dennagon’s physics skills isn’t supposed to be “more knowledge”, but some MYSTICAL INSIGHT TM into the TRUE NATURE of the universe. Hence all the passages that sound like they come from Time Cube. Just a guess, though.
My personal favorite picture (in that it was so perfect for the passage in question and cute beyond measure) was “Tried walking in your shoes. Fell asleep. Was so bored.”
Gray Falcon on 13 April 2009, 22:06 said:
Also, in both of my previous messages, “more” is supposed to be “mere”. Why I keep messing that up, I’ll never know.
Pixen on 30 September 2009, 01:27 said:
“Dennagon felt like taking a dump. Luckily, he hadn’t any fecal matter left in his empty stomach.”
From pretentiousness to ludicrousness…
You’re joking, right? Right?! Please tell me that wasn’t in there…
~~~
The number of misspelled/misused words in each chapter is laughable. I’ve still not forgotten the first chapter where it states that Dennagon ‘bore his fangs’.
Yeah, you ‘bare’ your fangs, sure, but in the past tense you ‘bared’ them (not bore!). It’s not the same as having to ‘bear’ the pain of Eng’s horrid prose.
“Pixen bore this error stoically, knowing she was not alone in her pain and that the error was merely one of dozens.”
swenson on 30 September 2009, 13:23 said:
Also, since when is fecal matter stored in the stomach?! Ewww!
The Drunk Fox on 2 October 2009, 17:04 said:
@Pixen:
Let’s just say there’s a reason I put that particular picture as my comment to that part…
More like one of hundreds… >< Speaking of which!
@swenson:
I didn’t even catch that one! Something is very wrong with these dragons’ digestive systems…
VikingBoyBilly on 20 April 2011, 15:47 said:
DrunkenFox, did you guys stop sporking this? I WANT MORE! Is the rest on the forums?
The Drunk Fox on 21 April 2011, 02:04 said:
The rest is/will be on the forums under Sporkings, IIRC, and we’re working on something Extra-Special™ for the latest chapter. It’s just that we (…okay, I) have been having some issues that have eaten up a lot of time. But we’re getting there!