Hey, everybody. It’s a bit later than I’d like, but I come bearing for you all a gift for [insert winter holiday of preference here] – the next chapter of the sporking.

So, quick recap of what’s happened so far:

Clary’s learned about a way to bring her mom out of the coma she’s been in for an unspecified amount of time (because CC doesn’t really do a good job of indicating the passage of time). The problem is, the guy she needs to contact is a warlock who – for some inexplicable reason – lives in the secret Shadowhunter Land. And Jace isn’t too keen on letting her go, because he’s super clingy and possessive I mean very protective. Yes. Protective. And not creepy at all.

Meanwhile, Shadowhunter leadership has finally decided to get off their collective asses and do something about Valentine being back. And for some reason this requires calling in all the Shadowhunters from around the world. Because there’s no group more democratic than a quasi-religious warrior society. Yep.

Since Jace couldn’t convince Clary to just stay home, he instead lied to her about when he and the Lightwoods were going to leave, even trying to rope Simon into his deception as well. And remember, kids – we’re supposed to like him! Unfortunately, things went kinda pear-shaped when a group of Forsaken (remember them? From the first book?) popped up out of nowhere, killing Plot-Coupon lady from the end of the last book, and forcing the Lightwoods to drag Simon along with them to Shadowhunter Land.

Clary came by later, found out that she’d been lied to, and using her magical bullshit powers managed to open up her own magic portal to Shadowhunter Land, despite having never actually been there, because she saw it in a dream (see what I mean by bullshit?). And she also dragged along an unwilling passenger in the form of Luke. Unfortunately for both of them, Shadowhunter City has some nasty anti-demon protections, which ended up dropping the both of them into a lake that’s basically toxic for Shadowhunters. Alas, they both survived, and went on a quick walking tour of Shadowhunter Land, ending with them very easily sneaking into Shadowhunter City and going to crash at Luke’s sister’s place. (Side-note: Luke’s sister is also the ex-wife of the late-Inquisitor’s dead son, because everyone in these books has to be connected to everyone else. And she too was a member of the not-Death Eaters, just like every other adult in this series)

Meanwhile, Simon and the Lightwoods are staying with some friends of theirs who are also probably ex-not-Death Eaters who have also managed to avoid facing any real consequences for their previous actions. We haven’t met the adults, but we have met the kids: Aline, who’s basically there to be the new target for Clary’s feminine ire; and Sebastian, who’s basically there to form a new love-triangle with Clary and Jace, because that’s basically the only plotline CC really knows, and the Clary-Jace-Simon thing got resolved in the last book.

And Simon’s totally not a bad guy. Nope. Not at all.

Anyway, Shadowhunter leadership heard about Simon, and managed to convince him (through Alec) to literally walk into their clutches, so they could lock him up. Seems the new Inquisitor is kinda curious about his whole “able to walk around in the day without bursting into flames” deal, but also wants to use Simon to support him opposing the Lightwoods, to whit – he wants Simon to say that the Lightwoods have been working with Valentine this whole time. Why does he want to do this?

… uuuhh, reasons? Basically, he’s always kinda hated them, so now he’s trying to get revenge.

Also, Simon’s neighbor has provided some info-dumps on Shadowhunter society, and it turns out that they are way worse than even I had initially believed.

Moving on, last time Clary managed to track down the Lightwoods and confront Jace about his shenanigans, while totally ignoring anyone else’s attempt to bring up Simon, because we really need to keep that bit of drama on the back-burner. Sebastian has also found out about Simon being locked up, because the Inquisitor and his minions are all idiots. And Jace has decided that he – alone – needs to break Simon out of prison, because… reasons.

Also, Sebastian took Clary on a little walking tour of Shadowhunter City, because forced love-triangle, and she got a bit of a talking to/shaming from Luke’s sister. Because if there’s anyone the reader should feel sorry for right now, it’s Clary.

I know this sounds like a lot has happened, but it’s all mostly been teen drama bullshit, while the actual “guy gathering magical MacGuffins to end the world or whatever” plot has just been sitting in the corner being ignored.

So, with all that out of the way, let’s get to Chapter 7 – Where Angels Fear to Tread.

Fun fact – the whole line (“For Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread”) is line 628 of Alexander Pope’s super-long (almost 750 lines!) 1711 poem, “An Essay on Criticism.” The meaning of the line is fairly obvious – those with little or no experience will go or do things that more thoughtful, experienced individuals won’t. Of course, this being CC, I’m fairly confident that she wasn’t intending to make that reference, and instead was thinking more, “ooh, a literary reference involving angels!”

But I’m willing to be proven wrong. So, let’s go.

We begin with Simon waking up from a “dream of blood and sunlight.” Now, I’m actually a bit curious about this dream, so of course CC decides that this time, we’re not getting to see the dream. No, only Clary gets the special dream sequences.

Simon was woken up by someone saying his name. Who is it? Why Jace, of course. Simon is decidedly not happy to see him, though I’m surprised that it takes him so wrong to realize it. Like, the narration mentions a “buzzing in [his] ears” and it’s not until two paragraphs later that Simon realizes he’s angry. What the hell?

Jace is, of course, very flippant about this, deciding to make a joke about it.

“You’re not happy to see me, then?” Jace said. “I have to say, I’m surprised. I’ve always been told my presence brightened up any room. One might think that went doubly for dank underground cells.”

I’m giving that two counts. One for being a really stupid joke

Rapiter Twit: 1

and another for being really inappropriate.

Our “Heroes”: 1

Seriously, Jace – now is not the time to be cracking jokes.

Alec says he’s pretty sure that Jace knew he’d get locked up. Jace says he didn’t, and this leads to an actual good bit of dialogue:

Simon: “You’re either lying or stupid—”
Jace: “Then I’m stupid.”
Simon: “—or both. I’m inclined to think both.”

As am I, Simon. As am I.

There’s a bit about Jace smelling like blood, to which Jace responds with, ”It’s my cologne. Eau de Recent Injury.”

Rapier Twit: 2

And you were doing so well there for a minute, CC. Oh, well.

Simon tells Jace about what Aldertree’s been up to, including people believing he’s a spy. Apparently this is a problem, because the Accords don’t apply to spies. Okay, then. Also, we get an instance of “Law.”

You Keep Using That Word: 1

And Jace reveals his “brilliant” plan – break Simon out, and use the Portal

You Keep Using That Word: 2

to send him back to New York.

Simon is against this, because it will lead to more trouble for Jace and the Lightwoods, because he’s actually a good person.

We also get a rehash of the conspiracy that Aldertree has put together: the Lightwoods have been working with Valentine this whole time, and them leading the attack at the end of the last book was to keep that under wraps. It also resulted in many Shadowhunter deaths, and Valentine once again managed to escape with the book’s MacGuffin.

I really don’t think CC gets how well that all hangs together. I mean, we know it’s not true, but it is pretty “convenient” that some of the people who used to work for/with Valentine lead the most recent attack against him, and he somehow managed to escape. If that was the only evidence anyone had – which is exactly the situation presented – that’s some reasonably compelling evidence.

And all this is to remove the Lightwoods as opposition to the Inquisitor in the Clave, so he can “make whatever policies he wants.”

And what policies might these be? Not really sure. The best I can come up with is reinstituting the “kill Downworlders and take their stuff” policy, but we’ve already been over why the Circle being opposed to that was a stupid idea. But I guess it sounds good, and somehow CC got the idea in her head that she wanted to include “political intrigue” or whatever in her books, and this is the best she could come up with.

Jace is predictably worried about Clary finding out about Simon, because of course he is.

Our “Heroes”: 2

This leads to Simon saying he’s glad she’s in New York, a statement which Jace does not bother to correct. Quelle surprise.

Our “Heroes”: 3

And let’s dwell on this for a moment: Jace’s plan is to break Simon out and send him back to New York, presumably so that Clary won’t find out about him being dragged along and being thrown in prison. Except that once Simon gets back to New York, he’s going to very quickly discover that Clary is gone. And it’s not like Clary and Simon never speak interact. So, even assuming that everything went off without a hitch, Clary would quickly learn about what happened to Simon, and that Jace intentionally lied to them both.

What’s the plan here, Jace? Are you hoping that Simon will defend you when Clary finds out about this? Are you expecting Simon to just shrug and accept that you lied to him? Are you planning on keeping Clary locked up in a cage or something so that she’ll never speak to Simon again?

(It’s that last one, isn’t it. God, Jace is such a creep.)

I just don’t see the point here. There’s no reason to lie to Simon about this. Clary’s ignorance I can excuse, because she brushed off any mention of Simon. But here, Jace has the opportunity to tell the truth, and he doesn’t. For no reason.

Anyway, they make a new plan: Simon stays put until they can come up with a better plan. He also mentions Aldertree trying to starve him, and asks for blood so he can hold up better. And Simon also says he didn’t mention drinking Jace’s blood, to keep Jace out of trouble. Because again, Simon is actually a good person.

But Jace gets all moody about it, and tells Simon to not protect him because he, *”[doesn’t] deserve it,” because he’s being an little emo shit. Oh, and he also calls Simon “vampire.”

Our “Heroes”: 4

End scene.

Next scene has us back with Clary. She wakes up because someone’s throwing rocks at her window. She opens it up and we get what I feel is an unnecessarily lengthy description of who’s outside. It’s Sebastian, but we have to get a description so we can (along with Clary) can momentarily think it’s Jace.

Because that’s just how this book is.

The two have a strangely nuanced conversation, given that they’re communicating only with hand gestures. Sebastian wants her to climb out her window, but Clary wants him to go to the front door. Because Amatis will somehow be less upset this way?

Oh, wait, she isn’t even bothering to try parenting. Nevermind.

Clary lets Sebastian in, and comments on how corny it is for him to be throwing rocks at her window. CC, pointing out your bad tropes does not make them no longer stupid/cliche, nor does it make the work funny.

Sebastian tells Clary to get dressed so they can go out, but Clary turns him down. Apparently she’s feeling really guilty about her actions the previous day, and has more or less grounded herself.

I… honestly don’t know how to feel about that.

So Sebastian just decides to tell Clary why he came by – he’s found out where Ragnor Fell lives. Not sure why he didn’t just lead with that.

The next scene is… ten minutes later, after Clary gets dressed. Why did we need a scene break there?

Oh, wait. I know why.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 1

Sebastian insists on helping Clary put on her coat – because apparently being raised in France means having higher standards for manners, or something? Mostly this bit is here so we can get this bit:

Clary smiled, despite her nervousness. Sebastian was good at making her smile, she realized with a faint sense of surprise. Almost too good at it.

Yep. We just have to push the love-triangle plotline. And, as with so many poorly done love triangles, the character we’re not supposed to be backing is the one the primary character actually has chemistry with.

Clary asks if Fell lives nearby, and Sebastian tells her he lives outside the city. Given that the Shadowhunters literally regulate when Downworlders can enter the city, I don’t know why Clary wouldn’t have figured that out. Also, Sebastian says they’ll be getting a ride to Fell’s house.

I’m going to say that again, because the phrasing is important: Sebastian says that they will get a ride to Fell’s house. You’ll understand why in a minute.

Clary is concerned about sharing information about what she’s doing, though I’m not quite sure why. I mean, yes, she snuck into the city, but we have no reliable evidence that her movements would be monitored or restricted. And no, I don’t consider Jace to be a “reliable” source about what the Shadowhunter big-wigs would do with Clary, given they don’t know anything about her abilities.

Regardless, Sebastian assures her that it won’t be a problem.

As they walk, Clary feels all excited and nervous about meeting Fell. And for some reason, she also freaks out a bit any time she sees someone who even vaguely resembles Jace or Isabelle.

You know, I feel like I said something at some point about Shadowhunters having a very small gene pool, and this only serves to support that.

But of course, Clary just assumes that they both hate her, because we have to ensure the reader feels sorry for Clary, rather than thinking about how any such treatment might be her own fault.

Sebastian asks why Clary keeps looking around, and she explains. Sebastian mentions that – as far as he knows – Jace has been sulking in his room, and also mentions that Jace hurt his hand. This of course snaps Clary out of her funk for a moment, because oh, noes, Jace is hurt.

Our “Heroes”: 5

But before we can dwell on that, they reach their destination, and Sebastian goes off to get their ride. I’m going to save you the attempt at “suspense” and just tell you outright – they’re at a stables. Their ride is a horse.

And this is why I wanted you to take note of Sebastian’s choice of language – they aren’t “getting” a ride, they’re just “riding.” He could have just said, “we’re going to ride there.” So CC deliberately chose to have him say, “we’re getting a ride,” to make this more “surprising” or something. Because if Clary needs to be confused about something, so does the reader. Can’t have the reader be smarter than the main character – how else will they identify with her?

Or something like that.

Clary is, of course, surprised tha Sebastian has a horse, so he has to explain that a lot of Shadowhunter families have horses, and that there aren’t any cars in Shadowhunter City – something you’d think Clary would have noticed, given that she’s from New York, one of the most urbanized areas in the world.

Sebastian tells Clary to get on the horse, which leads to this little exchange:

Clary backed up. “I’ve never ridden a horse before.”
“I’ll be riding Wayfarer,” Sebastian reassured her. “You’ll just be sitting in front of me.”

Um, dude? She will be riding the horse. She just won’t have to worry about controlling it. Just because you aren’t behind the wheel of a car doesn’t mean you aren’t riding in one.

We get a moment of Clary being scared of the horse, namely how it has big teeth, prompting her to imagine it biting her, which then leads to criticizing girls from middle school who wanted ponies. Why do I feel like this is CC inserting a bit too much of herself in her character?

Regardless, Clary gets on the damn horse. Because otherwise, the plot would stop here.

There’s another scene break, but this one is about as relevant as the last one.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 2

Quick summation: Clary gets on the horse. The horse starts moving, and she freaks out. There’s more teasing of the love triangle crap. Sebastian smells like pepper, and apparently Jace smells like “sunlight”, because CC just needs to be poetic or some shit.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 1

There. I just summed up two paragraphs in about four sentences.

Clary asks how Sebastian found out where Fell lives. Apparently his aunt – the one who raised him – is the Shadowhunter version of Varys from Game of Thrones or something, which once again makes me wonder why I’m reading about these idiots when there’s interesting people hanging around in the margins.

Also, Sebastian hasn’t been in Shadowhunter City since he was about five, yet he still has to wax poetic about it, because we really need to hammer home how great the Shadowhunter ethno-state is or something. And apparently the place Jace used to live is close to where they’re going, because this country is about the size of Vatican City or something.

The conversation then turns to Jace’s childhood, and how Valentine must have been a terrible person, with Clary actually defending him. I’d say I don’t know why this is here, but I’ve read this book, so I can tell you that this is yet more CC “foreshadowing”. At least it’s not quite as blatant as before.

Anyway, they’ve arrived. Wow, that trip really was fast; are we sure we needed the horse? Oh, wait, that was so we could keep forcing this stupid “love triangle.” Nevermind.

Speaking of which, the dismounting involves yet more teasing. Again, CC, if you actually bothered to put in even half this much effort with Clary and Jace, I might actually be somewhat invested in this “conflict.”

Clary looks around, but doesn’t see Fell’s house. Or any house, for that matter. Because he hid it behind some glamour, which are apparently stronger in Shadowhunter Land for some reason. I mean, why use this as a chance to show just that Clary is still adjusting to all this? Nah, can’t have the protagonist have any flaws persisting through multiple books.

The description of Clary seeing through the glamour is fine, as is that of the house itself. And apparently Fell has a weird sense of humor, because he makes the smoke from the chimney form a question mark. This is made more clear when they form hearts after Sebastian wraps an arm around Clary because she was cold for a second.

And here I thought I’d have to actually see this character before starting to dislike him. That’s impressive, CC.

Speaking of which, we finally do get to see Fell in the flesh. And once again, the narration takes way too long to tell us that it’s Magnus Bane.

Magnus earns a little of my respect back by snarking irreverently at Sebastian. It’s like getting a brief glimpse of who he used to be, before CC decided to “develop” him. But then Clary starts talking, so Magnus freezes Sebastian so he and Clary can chat.

And no, before you ask, Magnus is not secretly Fell. Even CC wouldn’t go for a twist that contrived.

They head inside to chat for a bit. In quick summation: Magnus was contacted by Fell the previous night, and upon arriving, Magnus found Fell dea, his house in a shambles, and the smell of demons in the air. Clary brings up the “demons can’t enter Shadowhunter Land” thing, but well, the evidence doesn’t appear to bear that out.

Magnus asks Clary who might have known she was looking for Fell. Clary starts listing off people, quickly reaching the Lightwoods. Magnus figures that if the Lightwoods knew, then they probably told the Clave, which is how Valentine found out.

Clary starts blaming herself for this, so of course Magnus has to step in to assure her that, no, it’s not her fault that Valentine came after this guy. Because apparently Valentine knew what Jocelyn did to put herself in her coma, and knows that that particular bit of knowledge can only be found in a certain spell book.

So Clary, for once, asks the logical question – how, exactly, does Magnus know all this?

Answer: warlocks can leave messages for each other in magic, invisible writing. And apparently Fell wrote down a whole lengthy message as he died. Gotta say, maybe if he’d spent less time writing out his final words and more time seeking medical attention, he might still be alive.

So, here’s what happened to Fell: some of Valentine’s cronies came by and asked about the Book of the White, the aforementioned special spell book. Which apparently belonged to Jocelyn, and Fell told her where to hide it.

Gotta say, that kinda irks me. Downworlders just aren’t allowed to have anything special, are they?

Anywho, turns out the book is hidden at the Wayland place, because of course it is. And once again, Clary asks the obvious question – how did Valentine not find it, given how long he was squatting there? Answer: Jocelyn put a fake cover on it. So it looks like a cookbook instead.

This is supposed to be funny.

Rapier Twit: 1

So Clary asks another obvious question: if Magnus knows all of this, why hasn’t he gotten the book? Because apparently Valentine set up a really nasty security system to keep everyone out. But presumably Jace can get in, what with the whole “being Valentine’s son” thing.

Which of course leads to Clary insisting that Jace won’t help her, and Magnus pointing out that of course he will.

Now if all of this is starting to feel really, really contrived, you’re not imagining things – it is. I’m supposed to believe that, for all those years he spent there, Valentine never opened that book? Never even gave it a second glance? Look, I can appreciate hiding something in plain sight, but come on. And I work in a library cataloging new books, so I know the demand for cookbooks. Don’t tell me that Valentine never cooked for himself; he wasn’t the only person in that house. Someone would have found it.

Getting back to the book, Clary points out that even if she gets the book, she won’t know what to do with it, which gets to something that’s actually good: Magnus isn’t telling her all this out of the goodness of his heart – he wants the book as payment to fix Clary’s mom.

Well, I’ve probably seen worse ways to get a plotline back on the rails.

Clary agrees, of course, and they head out. They banter a bit about Sebastian, and their respective love lives – Magnus is pissy with Alec, no surprise there – and all this does is make me wish that he’d gone off with some equally sassy gay character. I’m thinking Lord Akeldama from the Parasol Protectorate books, myself.

Magnus unfreezes Sebastian, but not before asking Clary to keep everything he told her between them. Sebastian, of course, is completely oblivious to what happened. Magnus makes threatening noises, and Clary manages to convince Sebastian that they should leave, bringing this very long scene to a close.

And once again, the scene break only serves to provide a quick breather.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 3

Sebastian apologizes about the trip, and brings up Magnus Bane. Clary mentions the “High Warlock of Brooklyn” thing, which I still and will forever insist is just something Magnus made up. Clary mentions how Magnus and “Fell” are so very similar, tee-hee.

But Sebastian, being a good guy, offers to show Clary something else, if only so the trip isn’t a complete waste of time. Clary asks what, and Sebastian decides to be coy. End scene.

Next scene is, of course, them riding. At least there’s a bit of a fast-forward, so I’ll allow this one.

They’re heading even further away from the city, and given how many episodes of Serial Killers I’ve listened to, this is sending up all kinds of red flags.

They see the occasional rooftop or such in the distance, which Sebastian explains as belonging to the rich Shadowhunter families. Yep, just like in the real world, only the poors actually live full-time in the city, while the rich folks have fancy houses in the country. Kinda makes the anti-Downworlder sentiment seem more familiar, too.

Eventually they reach their destination – the burnt out husk of a building. Clary is confused, so Sebastian explains that this is where her parents lived. Because it’s totally normal to take a girl to the charred remains of her family’s old house – a house that she never actually lived in and has no memories of – on a first date.

Yeah, Sebastian is really giving off the creepy vibes, now.

But Clary doesn’t seem to think it’s creepy at all. No, she gets off and starts wandering the remains. I’ll give CC this much – she does a decent job capturing how I imagine it would feel for someone to walk through the remains of their own house after a fire, or something like that.

Clary starts crying, but it’s that “didn’t realize I was crying” thing that characters sometimes do, which doesn’t actually make sense. Sebastian is worried that he’s upset her, but Clary’s fine with all this, because she’s weird like that or something.

Then Sebastian starts talking about how awesome Clary is, giving her way more credit than she deserves, while also coming off as being a bit of a creepy stalker.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 2

No, I don’t care if he’s obviously trying to flatter Clary, because I’m fairly confident that I’m supposed to take his recounting of events seriously.

And I wasn’t kidding about the stalker thing, either. He literally says that he’s wanted to meet Clary since he first heard about her.

And yet again, this incredibly weird, creepy behavior works.

Because they kiss. And of course it’s described in excruciating detail.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 3

At least there’s no audience this time.

Oh, and even in the middle of this, Clary can’t stop thinking about Jace, because of course she can’t.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4

But then Clary has a random bad feeling, and stops.

Now, I’m all for demonstrating that consent can be retracted, but I’d like the reason for said retraction to be something more than random, out of nowhere feeling of wrongness. And yes, that is all we get.

Sebastian asks what’s wrong, and Clary flinches back when he reaches for her. He then mentions Jace, which leads to Clary being defensive in a way that would be suspicious to anyone who didn’t know that she wants to boink her brother.

So Clary just flat-out says that kissing Sebastian felt wrong, which kinda sets him off, and we get more creepy stalker talk about how they “have a connection,” and whatnot. Clary says she doesn’t feel said connection, but Sebastian insists that she does.

Sebastian grabs Clary, tight enough to cause pain. And then Sebastian’s eyes go black or something, because CC really, really doesn’t do subtlety.

But then he snaps out of it, and they go back to the horse. Oh, and Sebastian casually tells Clary about Simon, and Jace going to see him.

Which brings this chapter to a close.

Well, that all… certainly happened.

Okay, taking in the larger perspective, we’re now one-third of the way through this book, and almost done with part one.

I know it certainly feels like it’s been going forever, and some of that is almost certainly due to my own laziness. But still – we’ve covered a third of this book, and what have we gotten? A whole lot of the same teen-drama, after-school soap opera angst.

And it’s not as if there’s no other options, because there are. All this stuff with the Clave and whatnot, having to decide how to deal with the Valentine situation? That’s potentially interesting. Simon is on the periphery of that, and Alec is at least aware of it. But for some reason, CC has elected to instead focus on the oh-so-very forced drama around Clary and Jace.

But at least (A) we’ve almost reached the end of part one, and (B) the plot train looks like it’s finally going to be leaving the station.

See you next time.

Counts

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4 (Total: 21)
Entirely Pointless: 0 (Total: 7)
Our “Heroes”: 5 (Total: 45)
Plot Hole: 0 (Total: 8)
Rapier Twit: 1 (Total: 2)
You Keep Using That Word: 2 (Total: 83)
Shoddy World Building: 0 (Total: 18)
No Shit Sherlock: 0 ( Total: 1)

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Comment

  1. The Smith of Lie on 22 December 2018, 05:00 said:

    Side-note: Luke’s sister is also the ex-wife of the late-Inquisitor’s dead son, because everyone in these books has to be connected to everyone else. And she too was a member of the not-Death Eaters, just like every other adult in this series

    You know what? Seeing how pretty much every character the kids run into was a bootleg Death Eater and seeing how that has no bearing on their treatment by Shadowhunters, why is Valentine even an outlaw?

    And how come he wasn’t running the Shadowhunters, given all the support he allegedly had anyways? Its not like Clave, from what we’ve seen so far, has firm graps of morality, any real code of conduct or even a level of basic competence.

    And Simon’s totally not a bad guy. Nope. Not at all.

    Sebastian. And of course he is not a bad guy. He is a singing crab with Jamaican accent.

    (Yes, that joke was bad and I do indeed feel bad.)

    … uuuhh, reasons? Basically, he’s always kinda hated them, so now he’s trying to get revenge.

    And we could have an interesting and complex character here. As the Inquisitor he is part of what passes for justice system in Shadowhunter’s Bigoted Funland. So it’d stand to reason that a person taking their duties serious would be irked by terrorists being given slap on the wrist. Boom, there the motivation he needs – obsessive desire for justice making him use the system to punish those he deems guilty, done.

    We begin with Simon waking up from a “dream of blood and sunlight.” Now, I’m actually a bit curious about this dream, so of course CC decides that this time, we’re not getting to see the dream. No, only Clary gets the special dream sequences.

    I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t plug a book that I like. So back to the Flashman Papers it is. Few times during the series Flashman recounts his dreams and I consider them some of the best dream sequences I’ve read. They have absolutely no foreshadowing or mystical meaning, they are simply nightmares he has. But they are at the same time meaningful enough to him and keep that absurd, oniric atmosphere where there is almost a kind of internal logic, but it is divorced from the one that rules the real life.

    And all this is to remove the Lightwoods as opposition to the Inquisitor in the Clave, so he can “make whatever policies he wants.”

    Of course they have a place in the governing body. What better way to punish those who tried a coup to usurp the power, than to let them have that power. Angelologists would be proud.

    And what policies might these be?

    Progressive tax and universal healt care. And new zoning laws in Alicante. I’m sure Clave is all about zoning laws.

    What’s the plan here, Jace? Are you hoping that Simon will defend you when Clary finds out about this? Are you expecting Simon to just shrug and accept that you lied to him? Are you planning on keeping Clary locked up in a cage or something so that she’ll never speak to Simon again?

    I’d be more worried about the fact that Shadowhunters will start a manhunt and that they know who Simon is and where he lives. Just sending him home is pretty stupid since he’d be fugitive. On the other hand seeing how incompetent the Shadowhunters are I wouldn’t be surprised if they never bothered to look for Simon in New York.

    Next scene has us back with Clary. She wakes up because someone’s throwing rocks at her window.

    My head canon is that someone chucked a brick straight through it.

    You know, I feel like I said something at some point about Shadowhunters having a very small gene pool, and this only serves to support that.

    Great. Now I’m going to imagine every single one of them with glorious Habsburg Chins.

    Can’t have the reader be smarter than the main character – how else will they identify with her?

    Well, the reader can always be a self-absorbed [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]

    Sebastian smells like pepper, and apparently Jace smells like “sunlight”, because CC just needs to be poetic or some shit.

    You know what? I’m gonna let that one slide. Mostly because I’ve been getting weird look for year due to the concept of smell of “lazy sunday afternoon”. And no I can’t explain it.

    Clary brings up the “demons can’t enter Shadowhunter Land” thing, but well, the evidence doesn’t appear to bear that out.

    Oh please. We’ve seen how effective the wards around this place are when Luke strode in without any problems. I bet you they contracted the construction and upkeep of the wards to the lowest bidder. Damn Clave and the fiscal policies!

    Magnus figures that if the Lightwoods knew, then they probably told the Clave, which is how Valentine found out.

    Say what? Have we ever established that Valentine has influence or moles in the Clave? Because that came out of the left field for me. If there is no properly established infiltration, which I might have missed due to nature of sporking, then this is obvious oversight from Potter fan-fic days, where Voldy had Ministry infiltrated and later controlled.

    Because apparently Valentine knew what Jocelyn did to put herself in her coma, and knows that that particular bit of knowledge can only be found in a certain spell book.

    I’d say we are lucky then, that he didn’t take action earlier. But given the way time has no meaning in the books I guess that’s a given.

    apparently Valentine set up a really nasty security system to keep everyone out.

    This only proves my “lowest bidder” theory.

  2. Apep on 23 December 2018, 10:49 said:

    Say what? Have we ever established that Valentine has influence or moles in the Clave? Because that came out of the left field for me.

    I think the reasoning is that, back in chapter 1, Valentine somehow knew Jace and the Lightwoods were going to Shadowhunter Land, and sent some disposable minions to attack them. And since no one there would have told him (because Jace/ the Lightwoods wouldn’t, and Madeline got killed), and the Clave are supposedly very big on boarder security, someone there must have told Valentine.

    At least, I’m fairly certain that’s the reasoning. I feel like we kinda skipped past the explanation, though some of that might be from how long it’s been since I actually read this book.

  3. The Smith of Lie on 23 December 2018, 12:35 said:

    At least, I’m fairly certain that’s the reasoning.

    Well I dropped the ball on the “how did Valentine know to ambush them?” question, never considering he wouldn’t know about their journey. Shame on me.

    But using this as an excuse to infere an explanation to a different plot hole is pretty bad writing. A plot hole is literally plugged with a different plot hole from earlier.

    I guess that having PoV tied to your characters and said character being bunch of useless asshats, too absorbed in their teenage, intepersonal, hormone fueled drama, makes it difficult to establish such inconsequential plot elements as possible spy in Clave.

  4. Juracan on 23 December 2018, 22:44 said:

    Luke’s sister is also the ex-wife of the late-Inquisitor’s dead son, because everyone in these books has to be connected to everyone else. And she too was a member of the not-Death Eaters, just like every other adult in this series

    Thing is, in theory there isn’t too much wrong with everyone being connected to each other, but CC’s writing shows the weakness of this trope when it’s not done well. Because it’s not done well here. At all.

    The most obvious example is that a good chunk of the Shadowhunters we meet, who are meant to be sympathetic, are ex-members of a racial supremacist group. And most of them didn’t leave; they just happened to be on the losing side. Which makes it super awkward that they’re, like, meant to be sympathetic and not locked up for supernatural war crimes.

    Furthermore, if we’re meant to get a feel for the Shadowhunters and how they’re run, wouldn’t it make sense to have all the Shadowhunters who appear be, y’know, not war criminals? I think the ‘everyone’s connected to everyone else’ trope would work better there, because as an outsider Clary would probably be interacting with a limited social circle.

  5. Aikaterini on 24 December 2018, 10:56 said:

    Seriously, Jace – now is not the time to be cracking jokes

    If someone were to make a drinking game on how many times Jace cracks ‘jokes’ when they’re not appropriate, they’d be dead from alcohol poisoning before the end of the first book.

    Clary smiled, despite her nervousness. Sebastian was good at making her smile, she realized with a faint sense of surprise.

    Yeah, because why would you want to be with someone who makes you smile? No, it’s better to be with someone who constantly upsets you or makes you feel like an idiot because he’s a narcissistic scumbag who cares more about his ego than your feelings.

    Clary being scared of the horse, namely how it has big teeth, prompting her to imagine it biting her, which then leads to criticizing girls from middle school who wanted ponies

    Oh, goody, blaming other girls for her own insecurities. Heaven forbid we get a scene where Clary isn’t being petty about other girls for no reason.

    Jace smells like “sunlight”

    Except that this comparison doesn’t make sense at all, considering the type of character that Clare has been setting up Jace to be. Because what is he supposed to be? A ‘bad boy,’ a daredevil from the wrong side of the tracks, the kind who “burns down your house for kicks.” That’s why we’re supposed to be rooting for Clary to get together with him, as opposed to ‘dull,’ ‘boring’ Simon.

    So, with that in mind, why is Clare comparing him to sunlight? If you say that someone has a sunny personality, you’re not envisioning a Billy Idol wannabe. You’re picturing someone who’s cheerful, kind, and pleasant. Someone who’s the polar opposite of Jace. Sunlight doesn’t have the thematic associations that fit with him.

    So, why is Jace being compared to sunlight now? Because she’s comparing him to Sebastian. If she were comparing Jace to Simon, she wouldn’t use sunlight to describe Jace because he’s supposed to be ‘darker’ than Simon. But she’s using it now. And I have a good idea about where she’s going with this.

    Clary can’t stop thinking about Jace, because of course she can’t

    The only reason that Clary has imprinted on Jace this hard, despite everything that’s happened, is because he’s the Designated Love Interest. Seriously, what happened between them to cause this obsession with him? She knew him for about a week before they kissed once in a greenhouse, and during that week, all he did was insult her and Simon, yank her around, and act like an entitled creep.

    This is why the angst about the incest is so ridiculous because there’s nothing to angst about! They weren’t dating for weeks or months or years before finding out. They didn’t have a strong emotional bond before the reveal. There was nothing. Just pathetic insults, Clary mooning over Jace’s looks, and Jace acting like a psycho whenever he got into battle mode. But no, everyone else pales when it comes to Jace’s magnificence. Clary has to compare every boy she meets to him and find them lacking, because he’s just that special.

    Sebastian grabs Clary, tight enough to cause pain. And then Sebastian’s eyes go black or something, because CC really, really doesn’t do subtlety.

    Okay, this is a frightening situation for Clary and I don’t blame her in the slightest for being freaked out. But considering what we learn about Sebastian later…I found this whole exchange to be really sad.

    He says that he’s wanted to meet her since he first heard about her. Again, from Clary’s POV, it sounds creepy, but when you find out about him later, it makes sense. He finally gets a chance to meet her…and she seems to like him! She goes riding with him, she smiles when she’s with him, she doesn’t mind when he wraps an arm around her, and she seems to be having a good time with him. She doesn’t mind when he shows her the house (which, yes, could be creepy, but considering that none of the adults bothered to take her here and were hiding the past from her the whole time, I could see why she gets emotional about it). And she lets him kiss her (and fortunately for him, he doesn’t have telepathy, so he doesn’t know that she was thinking of Jace the whole time).

    And then all of a sudden, for no reason (other than the Plot Said So), she abruptly switches gears and says it “feels wrong” and is all defensive about Jace when he asks her. So, yes, him grabbing her sets off a million alarm bells, but I also see it as desperation. “No, no, no, you like me, don’t you? We were having a good time, weren’t we? Please, please say you like me, Clary, please say that you’re not going to leave me like —-”

    Oh, and let’s just forget about the time in “City of Bones” where Jace said that Clary was coming with him whether she wanted to or not, grabbed her wrist, and refused to let go until she slapped him. Yep, let’s just compare him to sunlight and sweep that under the rug. Jace doesn’t have black eyes, so he’s good.