Hey, my faithful readers. It’s almost Halloween, so I bring you something truly terrifying – another chapter from a crappy YA novel!

[Insert dramatic music & lightning flash here]

Quick recap before digging in.

Last time, Clary woke up from her drug trip, stole some clothes from her host, and snuck out the window to go in search of Jace and the Lightwoods (but mostly Jace).

Meanwhile, Simon received a very Vito Corleone-style offer from Inquisitor Aldertree – turn on the Lightwoods and claim they’re working for Valentine, or starve to death.

Back with Clary, she eventually managed to find where the Lightwoods are staying. She forced her way in, ignoring pretty much everyone in her efforts to track down Jace, whom she found making out with Aline.

Such a shock! Such a betrayal! Such… utterly forced drama.

And now, on to chapter 6.

Chapter 6 is titled “Bad Blood”. Only time will tell whether CC intended for that to be literal or metaphorical.

We pick up exactly where we left off, because this series really is a soap opera staring high school students.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 1

Wow, that’s the first time that count’s shown up in this book. Not a great sign to start out with that, though.

So, as expected, Clary freaks out at seeing Jace – who, I remind you, she believes is her brother – making out with another girl. And not in an awkward, ‘oh, crap, I just walked in on my sibling making out with someone’ way, but more in a, ‘I just walked in on my boyfriend cheating on me’ way. She doesn’t start yelling or anything, though, because then she’d be the hysterical girl, and that would paint her in a bad light.

Aline tries to be friendly, but Clary isn’t interested. Case in point, here’s her reaction to Aline walking up to Clary after composing herself:

I don’t think I can touch her, Clary thought with a sinking feeling of horror.

Jace tells Aline something, and she wisely leaves.

There’s much back-and-forth between Jace and Clary, because this relationship is unhealthy in oh so many ways. Clary is upset that Jace tried to leave her behind, and Jace continues to insist that he somehow has the right to dictate Clary’s movements. Clary also frets a bit about Jace’s appearance, because apparently I’m supposed to care if he’s lost weight or has been chewing his nails.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 1

This whole bit is cut mercifully short by Alec showing up. And Jace goes from being really angry to calm and emotionless in a split-second. Almost like he can just shut his emotions off, or something. You know, like a psychopath.

After some initial shortness, he’s polite to Clary, and asks that she leave the room so he can speak to Jace in private. Clary insists that she also needs to speak to Jace privately, because I guess exposing him as being a manipulative ass in public would just be too much. Meanwhile, Jace acts like a petulant child, surprising no one.

Somehow (and I do mean ‘somehow’ – there’s really no explanation other than author fiat), Jace figures out that Clary didn’t come alone. Clary doesn’t even bother trying to lie about Luke coming with her. Jace then tries to use Clary’s attachment to Luke to get her to leave – or, at least, that’s how I’m choosing to interpret his argument.

Alec then brings up the fact that Jace isn’t even remotely curious as to where Alec’s been all day. Almost as if Jace didn’t even care about his ‘super-best-friend-for-all-time’ or something.

Our “Heroes”: 1

But just as Alec starts to explain what’s up, Isabelle pops in, because god forbid the plot train even start to move out of the station.

Clary (rightly) points out that Jace had absolutely no problem threatening Luke a minute ago, and asks a question she should have been asking this whole time:

“What’s wrong with you?”

Clary off-handedly explains that she got here through a Portal that she “made,” which I’m pretty sure is only there so Isabelle can look “bewildered” (read: impressed). Which dings a few counts:

You Keep Using That Word: 1

For obvious reasons.

Plot Hole: 1

Because Clary didn’t “make” that portal, she just re-opened it.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 2

For having a character fawn over Clary for doing something that took her absolutely no effort at all.

Aled tries valiantly to get the discussion back on track (presumably about Simon not being back in New York, despite assurances otherwise), but Jace brushes that off, because it has nothing to do with him. What a nice guy.

Our “Heroes”: 2

Jace goes off on Clary for how reckless she is, while ‘conveniently’ forgetting how he regularly does the same. Isabelle says Jace’s name in a way that I would read as admonishment, but which Clary reads as pity, either because she sucks at reading people’s emotions, or because CC is kind of a crap writer.

Jace is undeterred, though, and completely goes off on Clary for not only being selfish (again: pot, meet kettle), but also how she’ll never really be a Shadowhunter because she was raised as a mundane.

Clary is completely wrecked by this display of someone not coddling her, and starts to leave. But before she does, she says what I’ve been saying for a long time now – that Jace is just like Valentine. Then she leaves.

Side note: I consider this to be a much better spot to end a chapter on than what we got.

Scene break, and we’re back to Simon. He’s laying in his cell, staring out his window and feeling generally crappy. He then decides to share his woes with his neighbor, specifically the fact that Aldertree intends to starve him either to death, or until Simon agrees to give him what he wants.

Samuel (Simon’s neighbor, in case you forgot) basically responds with, “well, that really sucks, but what do you expect me to do about it?”

He then gives some background about Aldertree and the Lightwoods. Short version: Aldertree is basically Snape to the Lightwoods’ James Potter, sans the wanting to fuck his wife bit.

We also get an info-dump about Shadowhunter society, specifically how there is a kind of class system in place, despite appearances to the contrary. Families that run Institutes (yes, I’m going to ding that), get paid more than regular Shadowhunters.

You Keep Using That Word: 2

And Shadowhunters can get regular jobs, so long as they give a portion to the Clave. But a big way they make money is by basically killing Downworlders and taking their stuff. And when the Accords were put into place, a lot of Shadowhunters got upset, because it was cutting off a very lucrative source of income for them.

Remind me: why are they supposed to be the good guys, again? I mean, this isn’t like D&D, where there’s usually some kind of justification for killing things and taking their stuff – these assholes killed people with the goal being to take their stuff.

Our “Heroes”: 3

And don’t ask me where any of this opposition is, because this is literally the first I’m hearing about any of it. Almost as if CC didn’t actually think this out ahead or time or something.

Shoddy World Building: 1

Oh, and according to Samuel the Circle was more ‘pure’ or whatever in their desire to kill Downworlders because they only wanted to do it because they felt it was a “sacred duty” or whatever, rather than just to make money.

I honestly don’t know how I should feel about that. One group would kill innocent people to take their stuff, and the other would do the same because they’re basically zealots.

You know what? I think I have a solution to this whole mess. I’m calling it the “Ripley Option”, to whit:

Anyway, Valentine basically turned the entire Circle into his personal cult, which is really not all that surprising, and just lends support to my argument that letting the Lightwoods go was a really, really stupid decision.

Anyway, Samuel basically says that if he were in Simon’s place, he’d take Aldertree’s offer, despite having literally just told Simon that there’s a distinct possibility that Aldertree will kill him anyway.

Then Samuel gets very self-deprecating, but we do get a line that I actually kinda like:

“One thing you’ll learn as you get older, Simon, is that when people tell you something unpleasant about themselves, it’s usually ture.”

Then Simon gives his justification for why he won’t turn on the Lightwoods – Clary. Though he doesn’t say her name, instead referring to her as Jace’s sister.

And as annoying as that is, Samuel once again gets a good line to close out the scene:

“Isn’t there always a girl.”

Scene change, and we’re in… someone’s POV. The narration starts with discussing Jace’s actions, but only a description of how he appears to be feeling, so it can’t be him. And since Alec and Isabelle are the only other people in the room, and CC wouldn’t write from Isabelle’s perspective unless forced to, I’m going to assume it’s Alec’s POV.

Anyway, Clary just left, and both Alec and Isabelle actually admonish Jace for his actions, for a moment at least. But then Jace asks them to “leave [him] alone […]. Please.” This gets the Lightwood siblings to relent, because “Jace never said please.” Which just lends credence to my point of Jace being an asshole.

The conversation moves back to what Alec wanted to discuss, and we get confirmation that this bit is from his POV. Apparently that note he wrote then burned at the end of chapter 4 was a “fire-message” which he sent to Magnus. So, basically a cross between the mail-by-owl and fireplace-as-phone/Skype thing from Harry Potter.

And you couldn’t just send Maguns a text because…?

Shoddy World Building: 2

Sorry to do this, but please indulge me in a brief tangent.

Look, I get it, CC – you want to have your own special ‘magical’ versions of stuff. But you don’t have to do that, when you can just use a normal, every day solution instead. And if you are going to insist on making up a new thing, at least come up with a reason for said thing.

Here, I’ll give you two examples:

In the Harry Potter books – as previously mentioned – wizards mostly use either owl-mail or fireplace-phones to communicate. Now, they could use regular mail in the case of the former, but there’s the not-so-subtle implication that owl-mail can track a person pretty much anywhere, regardless of location, which is pretty useful. As for the latter, while they probably could use phones (they have radios, after all, so presumably magic wouldn’t muck-up the works of a land-line), presumably they’ve had the fireplace system for a long time, so why drop a system that works?

For another example, take the messenger hawks in the Old Kingdom books. It’s established very early in Sabriel that the magic in the Old Kingdom really messes up any technology too advanced – we’re talking things as basic as paper here. This effect even extends into the northern end of Ancelstierre under the right conditions, causing things like phones and telegraphs to stop working. So instead, the people of the Old Kingdom use magical talking hawks to convey messages.

However, in this instance, there’s no reason for this. We know Shadowhunters have and use plenty of modern technology. So why not just use that instead of making up something new that’s never been mentioned before?

[Thank you for your indulgence]

Getting back to the book, Magnus apparently told Alec that no Portal opened in New York.

You Keep Using That Word: 3

This means that Simon never got sent back to New York. Meaning Malachi appears to have lied to Alec about his intentions.

“How surprising.”:http://www.dramabutton.com/

I can’t help but think that this revelation would work just a little better if we didn’t already know this.

Isabelle tries to cover for Malachi, because I guess someone has to play the gullible rube, and there’s no way it’s going to be Jace. Also, another one of these.

You Keep Using That Word: 4 (“Portal”)

Alec explains that he had planned on asking Malachi about it that morning, but then didn’t because… reasons, and instead did a bit of eavesdropping on Malachi because… other reasons. Those reasons apparently being “because CC wrote herself into a corner, and needed a quick fix.

Plot Hole: 2

Anyway, Alec overheard Malachi telling one of the guards to bring some vampire up to see Aldertree, and then just to make absolutely clear who they’re discussing, also called said vampire stupid for thinking they’d send him back to New York without questioning him first, and also mentioned that said vampire was brought in by “Valentine’s son”, because CC just can’t not hand her characters any answer they might need on a silver platter.

Jace actually expresses some guilt about putting Simon in this situation, but that’s quickly quashed by both Alec and Isabelle coddling him.

Also, Jace is apparently more concerned about Clary finding out, because clearly she will assume he did this on purpose. Which, again, just says so much about him.

Our “Heroes”: 4

Also, quick tangent – why did Alec insist on not letting Clary learn about this? Because it’s only going to make things worse when she does find out.

Oh, wait, never mind; I forgot that Clary only cares about Simon when the plot requires it, or some other girl shows an interest in him.

Which just leads back to my previous question – why are we keeping this a secret?

Isabelle tries to console Jace with this line:

“No one could ever think you’d do that, Jace. No one who knows you.”

Uh, have you met him, Isabelle? Because I totally believe Jace would pull something like this.

Jace walks over to the window. We get a description of how his hair looks for no apparent reason.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 3

And then he punches the window, breaking it, because he’s a manly man, and manly men only express emotions like anger, and they express them by breaking shit.

And Isabelle caps off her scene of being a complete dunce by rhetorically asking how they’re going to explain the broken window to their hosts. End scene.

Back to Clary. She runs out of the house and almost throws up on the roses by the front door. Nice.

She’s completely forgotten how she got there, so Clary just wanders for a bit, and thinks about what Jace said. Then she randomly hears a male voice yelling her name and for an instant thinks it might be Jace. Because of course she does.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4

It’s not, though. It’s Sebastian. There is much gushing about his appearance, because that’s what this book really needs right now.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 5

They talk, and once again CC’s poor ability to convey the passage of time rears its ugly head, because it’s now getting late, and Sebastian offers to walk Clary home. Clary hesitates, making him swear not to tell anyone who she’s staying with first. He agrees, and we end the scene with this little exchange:

He offered her his arm. “Shall we?”
She managed a smile. “You’re kind of pushy, you know.”
He shrugged. “I have a fetish for damsels in distress.”
“Don’t be sexist.”
“Not at all. My services are also available to gentlemen in distress. It’s an equal opportunity fetish.”

See, that’s a nice exchange. Kinda makes me wonder if CC stole it from somewhere.

But regardless, Sebastian is actually kind of charming. He’s not a total asshole to Clary. So please, CC, explain to me why I’m not supposed to hope that Clary will give up lusting after Jace and go for the nice, friendly, charming guy instead?

I mean, besides the fact that he’s obviously going to turn out to be a bad guy.

Back to Alec. He and Jace are now up in the attic. There’s a description of the color of Jace’s eyes.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 6

And it includes this bit:

but the color tended to change with his moods.

Isn’t that one of those big signs of a Mary Sue?

So, apparently they came up here to bandage Jace’s bleeding hand. Because why would we want to do this in, say, the bathroom, where we can easily clean up any mess, when we can instead do it in a make-shift bedroom instead?

And to my surprise, we get a somewhat decent interaction between the two of them. Alec decides to use their med-kit, and even calls Jace out on his behavior.

Case in point – Jace wants to know why Alec isn’t just using healing magic, and Alec says this:

“Because I think it would do you good to feel the pain. You can heal like a mundane. Slow and ugly. Maybe you’ll learn something. Although I doubt it.”

Then things quickly go down hill. Alec implies that Jace keeps hurting himself because of how he feels about Clary, and then says he shouldn’t feel bad about because he can’t help it.

Dude, no. Just… no.

Then Jace flips the conversation, asking about Alec’s relationship with Magnus. Great.

Oh, also, apparently Jace not only knows how Alec feels about him, but also somehow concluded that said feelings were just a front for Alec to avoid developing a romantic relationship with someone else.

Somehow, this all gets around to Jace forcing Alec to lie to everyone else about where he is, and to lie about the window to the Penhallows, all so he (Jace) can try to get Simon out of jail.

Can’t help but think that this is the kind of thing where bringing help along would be a good idea. But I guess that doesn’t allow for as much thrilling heroics on his part. End scene.

And we’re back with Clary again. The narration goes on for a bit about how her mom described light in the evening, and how her descriptions must have been of evenings here, and honestly I don’t really care.

Sebastian breaks her out of her daze, again showing that all these moments of Clary staring at something are happening in real time. Clary mentions that she snuck out, and that she’s technically not supposed to be here.

[Sorry, not sorry.]

Of course, this gets no reaction from Sebastian. Or rather, not the reaction you’d expect.

Oh, hey – title drop.

“I gathered there was some bad blood between your brother and you.”

I don’t think CC understands what “bad blood” usually means in a social context. Or at least, not what I’ve always understood it to mean. Multi-generational family feuds? That’s bad blood. This? This is sibling bullshit.

Want evidence? Clary goes on to list all the little stuff between her and Jace, namely that he tells her what to do all the time. Then Sebastian points out that she kinda ends up doing what Jace wants anyway, so there’s that argument down the drain.

Then Clary turns the question on Sebastian, and here’s his response:

“I like [Jace]. But I don’t think he likes me much. Everything I say seems to piss him off.”

Yeah, that’d be the bad writing, Sebastian.

Anyway, they walk along a bit, eventually reaching the city center. Here we find Angel Square, and the Great Hall of the Angel. Such evocative names, especially for such an old city. Located right smack-dab between France and Germany.

Shoddy World Building: 3

Clary mentions that the Hall looks a lot like a church, then notes that they don’t really have churches. Sebastian says they don’t really need to, since they have the demon towers to protect them.

Yes, because that’s the only reason anyone would build a church. To keep demons away. Right. I mean, why would a group of people supposedly given a divine mission possibly want places of worship?

Shoddy World Building: 4

Also, I would note that there’s a lot of reverence for this particular angel, yet none for God. Which I’m fairly certain violates the First Commandment, and possibly the Second.

Sebastian gives us a bit of info about himself – he lives in Paris, and Alaine is his cousin on his mother’s side.

Clary asks about the Penhallows being not-Death Eaters, and we get this response from Sebastian:

“A good half of the young Shadowhunters in Idris were part of the Circle, and plenty of those who weren’t in Idris too.”

Okay, so if that was the case, why did Valentine have his little putsch? Why not just leverage that influence into actual power?

CC, you can’t claim that your villain is a manipulative genius, then have him make big, obvious mistakes like this. It’s just so stupid.

Shoddy World Building: 5

Apparently the Penhallows dropped out early and fled to China, and were subsequently responsible for the Lightwoods getting sent to New York as punishment. Well, at least now I know who to blame.

More back story from Sebastian. His mom and dad are both dead; he was raised by his aunt. Presumably the one on his father’s side.

They reach Cistern Square, where Amatis apparently lives. Sebastian tries to hit on Clary, but she seems pretty oblivious.

And then, for no apparent reason, she tells him about Fell. Because I guess asking the people she already knows to help her would be… something.

Mildly difficult?

An obvious solution?

Not playing into the very-obviously-forced love triangle CC is so clearly tyring to set up?

Yeah, I think it’s that last one. Regardless, end scene.

Next scene begins with… Clary climbing into her room. So, what was that scene break there for?

A Word From Our Sponsors: 2

Clary is very proud of herself, until the lights come on. Yep. Amatis is sitting on the bed, like a parent in a sit-com. She says Clary looks like her mom dressed like that (must everyone point that out?), then tells Clary to change and meet her in the kitchen. She also gives a solid response to Clary sneaking around – if she does it again, Amatis will magically seal the place so Clary can’t get back in.

Well, glad to see at least someone in this book is parenting.

We get a description of the house, which is nice, as most of CC’s descriptions of locations tend to be. However, she describes the living room as being “homely,” which is not really the word she wants, at least not with Clary being from New York.

See, in British English, “homely” has the meaning CC intends – simple, but comfortable. But in American English, it means something different – namely, unattractive, which does not fit with the description at all. The word CC wanted was “homey.” So the word might technically mean what CC intends, just not in the dialect she (or her characters) speak.

You Keep Using That Word: 5

Okay, back to the book.

Amatis flat-out says she figures Clary went to see Jace, then starts info-dumping about when Luke got turned into a werewolf, because… reasons.

Basically, he came to her for help, and she turned him away, and feels super guilty about it. And somehow she thinks that taking care of Clary will somehow make up for that. Okay.

But since Clary left pretty much the minute she turned her back, Amatis feels like she’s royally screwed up. Yet, rather than punish Clary for sneaking out, Amatis decides to just feel sorry for herself. Because why try to do better, when you can just give up instead.

I take back what I said about her parenting abilities.

Clary goes to bed, and throws her own pity party, thinking about how everyone her. Yeah, yeah, “nobody likes me/ everybody hates me/ guess I’ll go eat worms,” etc.

Unfortunately, her “I’m so alone and abandoned” thing is undermined by the mention of Simon who – reminder – is, at this very moment, locked up in a cell, and for whom Clary has barely spared a single thought since this book began.

And with Clary wallowing in her emo-ness, the chapter comes to a close. I’m torn between imaging her listening to Linkin Park’s “Crawling” or Evanescence’s “Bring Me to Life.”

Okay, before I go, I just want to give a quick notice about installments of this sporking in the near future:

So, I’ve long since given up on trying to stick to a schedule. But I’ve decided to once again do NaNoWriMo this year, meaning I’ll be focusing my efforts on my own writing, rather than sporking. And I will have some other family commitments in November, eating up more of my time.

That said, I’ll still try to get something out, and worst-case, the next posting will be in December. See y’all then.

Counts

Both Hands, Ma’am: 6 (Total: 17)
Entirely Pointless: 0 (Total: 7)
Our “Heroes”: 4 (Total: 40)
Plot Hole: 2 (Total: 8)
Rapier Twit: 0 (Total: 1)
You Keep Using That Word: 5 (Total: 81)
Shoddy World Building: 5 (Total: 18)
No Shit Sherlock: 0 ( Total: 1)

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Comment

  1. The Smith of Lie on 29 October 2018, 03:55 said:

    Such a shock! Such a betrayal! Such… utterly forced drama.

    Oh well, it’s not like there is a dangerous psycho (other than Jace that is) running around with army of demons and planning a coup. So I guess there’s all the time in the world to spend on high-school intepresonal drama between ovely hormonal teenagers.

    Chapter 6 is titled “Bad Blood”. Only time will tell whether CC intended for that to be literal or metaphorical.

    And now I have in my head a vision of Simon biting someone, drinking little bit of their blood and then spitting it to deliver scathing, Ramsey Gordon style critique.

    So, as expected, Clary freaks out at seeing Jace – who, I remind you, she believes is her brother – making out with another girl. And not in an awkward, ‘oh, crap, I just walked in on my sibling making out with someone’ way, but more in a, ‘I just walked in on my boyfriend cheating on me’ way.

    As much as I like harping on the incest overtones, given what we know about Clary I’d say there’s a 50/50 chance that this reaction comes down to her innate bitchiness. I mean, she reacted more or less the same to any signs of Simon recieving any kind of female attention, even when they were explicitly not in any kind of relationship.

    We have a saying in Polish, not sure what an equivalent in English is, [somebody] is like a gardner’s dog – won’t eat himself and won’t let others eat. Clary seems to be this way. It doesn’t matter that she can’t have/won’t have a relationship with a specific male, no one else can have one either, as far as she is concerned.

    Clary also frets a bit about Jace’s appearance, because apparently I’m supposed to care if he’s lost weight or has been chewing his nails.

    Well, as far as we here on Impish Idea are concerned I’d say that his deteriorating state is relevant.

    Alec tries valiantly to get the discussion back on track (presumably about Simon not being back in New York, despite assurances otherwise), but Jace brushes that off, because it has nothing to do with him. What a nice guy.

    Please, Simon is a dirty downworlder. He could be dying in the ditch for all the Jace is concerned. At least as long as it wouldn’t make him look bad.

    Clary is completely wrecked by this display of someone not coddling her, and starts to leave. But before she does, she says what I’ve been saying for a long time now – that Jace is just like Valentine. Then she leaves.

    Now if only any of this stuck and caused any of characters to change their ways…

    He then gives some background about Aldertree and the Lightwoods. Short version: Aldertree is basically Snape to the Lightwoods’ James Potter, sans the wanting to fuck his wife bit.

    Giving how the books bravely includes a rather incestous overtones, I’m suprised at that last bit.

    And Shadowhunters can get regular jobs, so long as they give a portion to the Clave. But a big way they make money is by basically killing Downworlders and taking their stuff. And when the Accords were put into place, a lot of Shadowhunters got upset, because it was cutting off a very lucrative source of income for them.

    Wanna bet there’s a Shadowhunter family hoarding a box of golden and silver teeth taken from their victim’s corpses?

    Also, the whole bit about families that run institutes being privilaged and having to pay off the Clave if you get a job. It does start to make Shadowhunters look like a cult. They isolate themselves from mundane/worldly people, breed only from within their own circle, follow that arcane and weird rules.

    “One thing you’ll learn as you get older, Simon, is that when people tell you something unpleasant about themselves, it’s usually ture.”

    If only people who deal with Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish followed that tidbit of wisdom…

    [Thank you for your indulgence]

    This is made even worse, because the sporkings so far gave me an impression that Shadowhunters are pretty schizophrenic in their approach to modern technology. Sometimes they seem pretty down with it and up to date with it and sometimes they seem to disdain it and be about 100 years behind times.

    Alec explains that he had planned on asking Malachi about it that morning, but then didn’t because… reasons, and instead did a bit of eavesdropping on Malachi because… other reasons. Those reasons apparently being “because CC wrote herself into a corner, and needed a quick fix.

    I was about to talk with him, but then a wierdest thing happened. I heard a female voice in my head. “No, no. This won’t do… How to do this… No, this won’t work either. Eh, fuck it, lets just have Alec eavesdropping on him. Yeah, that makes it easy.” I have no idea what it was all about, but instead of talking to Malachi I eavesdropped on him, because only a fool ignores premonition like this!

    […] because CC just can’t not hand her characters any answer they might need on a silver platter.

    Well I have to give her a benefit of the doubt here. She writes for the people who actually like those books. So that might have been a silver platter for the audience.

    And then he punches the window, breaking it, because he’s a manly man, and manly men only express emotions like anger, and they express them by breaking shit.

    Jace paced towards the window, scowling. Anger was burning inside him, bright and hot like the Sun. How did Malachi and Inquisitor dare decieve him! That was unacceptable! It made him look bad. For all he cared the vampire could die in a ditch, but having said it should be returned to New York Jace could not stand his words being contradicted, even by his nominal superiors. In the fit of rage he punched the window. And the anger turned into surprise as he felt pain in his forearm. He looked down and saw a large gash, from wrist nearly to the elbow, bleeding profusely. He fell to the floor, suddenly very cold. How dared the broken glass cut him, he thought in the seconds before life completely fled his body.

    There is much gushing about his appearance, because that’s what this book really needs right now.

    And once again I am baffled by this. For a non-visual medium, the appearance of characters seems to be a large selling point of the books. I can see that work for a movie (Twilight’s shirtless squad for example), where the eye-candy is… well, it is eye-candy. But for a book, as long as the appearance of the chracters is established, there is no good reason to bring it up as often as CC seems to do. I mean if I already have this beautiful person in mind, I don’t need to have their beauty re-stated over and over, because my mental image already reflects it.

    I mean, besides the fact that he’s obviously going to turn out to be a bad guy.

    Looking at what the nominal good guys present? I’d say that this isn’t really a big mark against Sebastian.

    Yes, because that’s the only reason anyone would build a church. To keep demons away. Right. I mean, why would a group of people supposedly given a divine mission possibly want places of worship?

    But that would actually bring religion up and we can’t have complex and possibly divisive topis like that cropping up in a soap-opera. And it doesn’t matter that previously made choices pretty much confirm Christianity is right to at least some degree and shit-ton of religious imagery. If we ignore it hard enough all those problematic questions will just go away…

    Okay, so if that was the case, why did Valentine have his little putsch? Why not just leverage that influence into actual power?

    Because that’d fall under “Politics”, which for some reason does not share the same space as “Super Villainy”. Even when the most obvious analogue for the Valentine actually came to power by exploiting political system…

    Well, glad to see at least someone in this book is parenting.

    I’m willing to bet it won’t last long and if there’s anything Amatis has to say to Clary about how stupid and irresponsible she is, will be somehow invalidated or pooh-poohed away.

    I take back what I said about her parenting abilities.

    Ha! Called it.

    Unfortunately, her “I’m so alone and abandoned” thing is undermined by the mention of Simon who – reminder – is, at this very moment, locked up in a cell, and for whom Clary has barely spared a single thought since this book began.

    Oh please. It is obvious that of the two of them it is Clary who is in greater distress. Don’t you try to wring any sympathy for the vampire from us, when the poor, little Clary feels rejected and bad about herself.

  2. Aikaterini on 29 October 2018, 10:34 said:

    Almost as if Jace didn’t even care about his ‘super-best-friend-for-all-time’ or something.

    It’s almost like Jace doesn’t even care about anyone, other than himself, and that there is no reason for everyone to keep coddling and defending him.

    Jace is just like Valentine

    Yes. He is. So, why is he the Designated Love Interest again?

    Jace asks them to “leave [him] alone

    Yes, because Jace has been so good at leaving other people alone when they were upset. Like when Clary was upset after Luke’s phone call in “City of Bones” and Hodge had to basically kick Jace out of the room because the egotistical moron couldn’t understand why Clary didn’t want him there. Or when he delivered what was basically a sociopathic Bond Villain speech to Maia in “City of Ashes”, which made her so upset that she ran out of the room.

    Yes. Please leave the poor baby alone when he’s feeling upset. But don’t you dare expect him to do the same for anyone else.

    And then he punches the window, breaking it, because he’s a manly man.

    Thank you, Smith of Lie, for the mini-spitefic! Also, I don’t care, Jace. You can throw your arm across your forehead and punch all the windows and mirrors you want. It all comes off as affected and staged, because what you really are is a narcissistic hypocrite who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

    “Don’t be sexist.”

    …Do I need to remind you of your attitude towards other girls in “City of Bones”, Clary? Where you didn’t like the girls at St. Xavier’s because they had “pink jelly mules and fake tans”? How you instantly disliked the girls riding with you on the train because they reminded you of those girls? Need I remind you of your comments on Sheila Barbarino, the girl who was dating Simon’s friend, Eric? About her “underwear rising up above the waistband of her super-low-rise jeans?” Yeah, I’m guessing that we weren’t supposed to think that she was a wonderful girl for that.

    And need I remind you of your infuriating attitude towards Isabelle and Maia? Isabelle, for daring to be prettier than you, and Maia, for daring to be a much better person to your chew toy than you’ve been? How you’ve hated them and yelled at them for stupid reasons, while you’ve constantly turned a blind eye to Jace’s atrocious behavior?

    Yes, Clary, clearly you are the person to tell Sebastian to not be sexist. Clearly, you have such moral high ground on this matter. Clearly, you did not just reveal yourself to be a massive, massive hypocrite.

    Also, show of hands, how many people think that Clary would’ve said anything if Sebastian’s words had come out of Jace’s mouth? In fact, wait a minute…

    “…as if [Jace] were used to catching fainting girls, as if he did it every day…” (City of Bones)

    Oh. Right. And yet the reader was probably supposed to swoon over that.

    So please, CC, explain to me why I’m not supposed to hope that Clary will give up lusting after Jace and go for the nice, friendly, charming guy instead?

    Because he’s not the Designated Love Interest. It doesn’t matter that both he and Simon have treated Clary far better than Jace ever has. It doesn’t matter that Jace and Clary don’t understand each other and have nothing in common, aside from being selfish hypocrites who are connected to Valentine. It doesn’t matter that Jace has never cared about who Clary is as a person and constantly insults her and tries to control her life. Jace x Clary is written in stone and that’s the end of it, as far as Clare is concerned.

    Because I think it would do you good to feel the pain. You can heal like a mundane. Slow and ugly. Maybe you’ll learn something.

    Which is why Jace should’ve been stripped of his magic in “City of Ashes.” But of course he wasn’t, because then he wouldn’t be special anymore! And this series has no use for people unless they’re special.

    Jace not only knows how Alec feels about him, but also somehow concluded that said feelings were just a front for Alec to avoid developing a romantic relationship with someone else.

    So, all of Alec’s pining over Jace and ridiculous resentment towards Clary in “City of Bones” was for nothing. And the excuse for Jace’s behavior towards him that was made, which was that Jace was completely oblivious to Alec’s feelings, is now rendered null and void. Jace knew that Alec had a crush on him. And yet he still treated him like disposable trash and did nothing whenever Alec snarled at Clary.

    And of course Jace is the relationship expert. Because he’s doing so well in his own relationship…oh.

    Everything I say seems to piss him off.

    Because he can’t stand that you’re his equal and he can’t bully you around or treat you like trash. That’s why.

    Oh, and because Clare can’t stand for Jace to be wrong about anything, so of course he has to be suspicious of you. For no reason. Because if he did like you from the start, well, he’d be just like silly, gullible Isabelle! He’d be ‘weak’. And we can’t have that.

    We have a saying in Polish, not sure what an equivalent in English is, [somebody] is like a gardner’s dog – won’t eat himself and won’t let others eat.

    I think that the equivalent in English is “the dog in the manger.” It comes from the Aesop’s fable of the same name, where a dog won’t allow the cattle (or horse, depending on the version) to eat the hay in a manger, even though the dog doesn’t eat it either.

  3. The Smith of Lie on 29 October 2018, 11:03 said:

    I think that the equivalent in English is “the dog in the manger.” It comes from the Aesop’s fable of the same name, where a dog won’t allow the cattle (or horse, depending on the version) to eat the hay in a manger, even though the dog doesn’t eat it either.

    Oh! That’s good to know, never heard that one. I guess the Polish one comes from the same source. Thanks for explaining that!

  4. Apep on 29 October 2018, 18:04 said:

    Giving how the books bravely includes a rather incestous overtones, I’m suprised at that last bit.

    No, I meant that Aldertree (the Snape in this analogy) had no romantic interest in Mrs. Lightwood at any point.

    Because he’s not the Designated Love Interest.

    I honestly have to wonder why these authors insist on including love triangles when any reader will know how it’ll turn out. Especially when they don’t even bother to put any work into why the reader should favor the DLI over the competition. It’s just so damn lazy.

    I think that the equivalent in English is “the dog in the manger.”

    I can honestly say I’ve never heard that particular idiom.

  5. Ryan McCarthy on 29 October 2018, 19:43 said:

    @Apep

    I kinda wonder how much the whole Jace/DLI thing is wish fulfillment for Clare. Especially considering the whole “Clary” thing…

  6. Lunafreya on 6 November 2018, 23:05 said:

    @The Smith of Lie

    And now I have in my head a vision of Simon biting someone, drinking little bit of their blood and then spitting it to deliver scathing, Ramsey Gordon style critique.

    THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS LATER IN THE BOOK OH MY GOD.

    @Apep

    I honestly have to wonder why these authors insist on including love triangles when any reader will know how it’ll turn out. Especially when they don’t even bother to put any work into why the reader should favor the DLI over the competition. It’s just so damn lazy.

    It seems that Clare just puts stuff in her books because they’re trendy, like she makes a list of things that are ‘in’ and ticks the checkboxes. At the very least it’s pandering, and at the worst, it’s corporate tokenism.

    @Ryan McCarthy

    If Clare’s website is to be believed, Clary was originally called Valerie. But we all know the truth, her original name was Ginny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    Strangely enough, Clare has another self-insert MC in an upcoming Shadowhunter trilogy. Cordelia Carstairs has the same initials, red hair, and was also born in Tehran, Iran. Hmmmmm.

  7. The Smith of Lie on 7 November 2018, 06:46 said:

    THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS LATER IN THE BOOK OH MY GOD.

    Simon bit Jace’s neck and started drinking. And discovered, that he couldn’t. He spat. “Dear god, this tastes like shit!” He spat again. “I never imagined anything this foul could come out of anything but an asshole!”

    Strangely enough, Clare has another self-insert MC in an upcoming Shadowhunter trilogy. Cordelia Carstairs has the same initials, red hair, and was also born in Tehran, Iran. Hmmmmm.

    Now that you mention self-inserty character of CC’s works a thought strikes me. They say, write what you know… What if her protagnists are the way they are because of that?

  8. Lunafreya on 7 November 2018, 19:00 said:

    Smith, your spitefics are always a joy to read :’)

    What if her protagnists are the way they are because of that?

    Probably. After all, Clare is not a very nice person (to put it lightly).