Hey, guys. Sorry I went on such a lengthy hiatus there. I spent pretty much all of October and November working on polishing up a novel in hopes of getting it published. But now that’s done, and I’ve taken some time to recover, it’s time to get back to the monkey on my back that is this book.

So, quick-ish recap before we get to the new stuff.

Clary and company have traveled to the Shadowhunter capital city for various reasons: Clary, because the person who can bring her mom out of that coma she’s been in since the first book (and which she remembered was a thing she actually cared about) is apparently in the Shadowhunter homeland; the Jace and the Lightwood family because the Shadowhunter leadership has found out that Big Bad Valentine is still alive, and they should maybe do something about it (I assume that Jace and Isabelle got brought along because the Lightwoods no longer have a live-in babysitter); and Simon and Luke because… they got dragged along, I assume because CC felt like it or something.

And a lot has simultaneously happened, and yet also not happened. It’s Schrödinger’s Plot, if you will. So, let’s see how much I can remember without having to check my notes:

There was some concern about Simon being in the Shadowhunter city, because Downworlders aren’t allowed there after dark, because Shadowhunters are racist. Alec thought he’d worked out a solution where Simon would get sent back to New York, but really, Simon was locked up and tortured by one of the leaders of the Shadowhunters and tortured, in an attempt to get him to claim that the Lightwoods have been working with Valentine all along.
Clary and Luke followed the Lightwoods using Clary’s “New Powers as the Plot Demands”:https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NewPowersAsThePlotDemands ability, and after a long nature hike, managed to sneak into Shadowhunter City, despite Clary tripping balls at the time, because despite their authoritarian, anti-Downworlder stance, security around Shadowhunter city is nigh-on nonexistent. Due to the aforementioned Clary tripping balls, though, they had to take shelter with Luke’s estranged sister.
Clary recovers, and immediately goes off to find Jace. She does, and instead of getting to the issue about Simon being in danger, we get side-tracked into a fresh teen drama love-triangle, because apparently this is the only plot CC actually knows. In this case, it involved Clary walking in on Jace making out with new designated bad girl Aline. Clary’s upset because even though she and Jace are siblings, she still wants to jump his bones.
Clary responded to this by going off to find the guy who can help her mom with other new character and leg of the love triangle, Sebastian. Their quasi-date got weird at several points, for various reasons. Big point, though – Magnus (who’s there because… reasons) can cure Clary’s mom, but wants to keep the super-special magic book the cure is in as payment.
Meanwhile, Simon was getting much info-dumping from the guy in the next cell. Very “Count of Monte Cristo.” Also, Jace and the Lightwood kids start sneaking him blood so he doesn’t crack under pressure while they come up with a plan. None of which involves telling either Simon or Clary of the other’s presence.
Clary does find out about Simon, and leverages this into getting Jace help her locate the super-special magic book. Which was at the house Valentine was hiding out in while raising Jace. And he never found it, because he’s a moron. Clary and Jace find it easily, along with Valentine’s secret basement torture chamber, which is occupied by an actual fucking angel. The angel screams/info-dumps about how it got there, then the whole house collapses. Clary and Jace make it out (of course), and decide to go “fuck it” and make out for a bit before heading back to town.
Meanwhile, Valentine finally decided to get off his ass and had one or more of his flunkies disable the magical defenses around Shadowhunter city, and then sending in a horde of demons to wreck up the place. Also, in the midst of all this, the youngest Lightwood, Max (whose name I had to look up because he’s just that inconsequential of a character) got kidnapped and murdered. Because I guess CC needed to prove how “serious” and “adult” her books are, and decided the best way to do that was with child murder.
A lot of crazy shit happens. Aline gets grabbed by a possibly henti demon, and God alone knows what happened to her before Isabelle rescued her, but I doubt it was appropriate.
Alec went off to fight some demons, eventually meeting up with Magnus, and they worked out some of their relationship drama that’s been on the backburner this whole time.
Somewhere in this, Luke got back with his old pack and managed to talk/force them to help the Shadowhunters, because he’s either a Quisling, or is under the very mistaken impression that if they just keep being nice, the Shadowhunters will eventually stop treating them like shit.
Clary and Jace get back roughly in time to skip out on most of the actual danger.
Almost everyone meets up at Shadowhunter HQ. Clary decides that now might be the time to go rescue Simon, and gets Jace, Alec, and Sebastian to come along.
They manage to rescue Simon and his neighbor, who it turns out is Hodge. Hodge starts to info-dump about what’s really going on, and where the last McGuffin is, only to get killed by Sebastian, who – shock of shocks – is actually evil. He kicks the heroes’ collective asses, and then scarpers, because it’s way too soon for the big showdown with the Big Bad’s “Dragon.”:https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDragon
The next day, while the dead are being seen to, we learn that Sebastian isn’t really Sebastian, but an imposter. Trust me, this will be important later. Well, semi-important. Mostly, he’s not who he said he was.
More importantly, Valentine showed up as a hologram in Shadowhunter HQ to offer his terms to everyone there: complete surrender, instituting himself as absolute ruler, and loyalty to him being magically enforced. I’m half-convinced he wants them to turn his offer down, just so he has an excuse to kill everyone that’s left.
Much angsting on the night before the big fight. Jace and Clary spend the night together, chastely holding hands. Meanwhile, Isabelle decides that the best way to get her mind off how guilty she feels about Max’s death is to shag Simon’s brains out.
At the same time, Luke gets some people together to try and hash out an agreement to get the Shadowhunters and Downworlders to fight together, because that’s the only way they’ll survive. And even some of the Shadowhunters who are supposedly the good ones are pretty racist. Also, Jace shows up, mostly so he can angst and inform the audience that once again, he’s going off to confront Valentine.
Next day, there’s much drama being made over if/how to track down Jace, because these characters are significantly dumber than the reader, and Clary’s mom shows up, awake and everything.

So that’s everything that’s happened.

Alright. Now, on to part 3 – the final part of this book.

Part 3 is titled “The Way to Heaven.” Because of course it is.

The quote for this section comes from the Siegfried Sassoon poem “The Imperfect Lover.”:https://www.bartleby.com/137/27.html

Oh yes, I know the way to heaven was easy.

And here’s the nice thing about this quote – I can actually read the poem in its entirety, and know for a fact that CC probably wasn’t actually interested in this line when in context.

So, let’s give some background. Sassoon served in the British army during the First World War. This particular poem was first published in 1919, so it was almost certainly written while he was serving. That brings some added meaning to lines like “you’ve learned to fear/ The gloomy, stricken places in my soul,/And the occasional ghosts that haunt my gaze.”

It’s pretty easy to tell, even from a single reading, that “The Imperfect Lover” is about a person who knows that their relationship is probably going to end, and end badly, because they’re so damaged. But the speaker (the damaged partner) is aware enough of how messed up they are, and has the emotional clarity to acknowledge that if/when their partner does end the relationship, it will be because of the speaker. And they accept that.

The “way to heaven” in this case basically means the partner ignoring all that, and pretending that everything is okay, and glossing over any problems.

… maybe CC did understand this. But I wouldn’t be surprised if her fans didn’t.

Anyway, on to chapter 16. The chapter’s title is “Articles of Faith.” Let’s see if this is in any way relevant to the content, either literally or metaphorically.

We pick up right where we left off, so that whole cliff-hanger ending of last chapter feels really annoying.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 1

Always nice to start out with one of those.

We get a summary of how Clary imagined her mom coming out of her coma would be like. Basically, she figured her mom would be exactly the same as she remembered. Jocelyn is not. Clary figured she’d be happy – she’s not. She’s not, because Clary is dressed in Shadowhunter gear. You’ll recall that Jocelyn worked very hard to keep Clary away from all this stuff.

So I’d say she’s entitled to have a negative reaction.

Isabelle steps in, because she has no idea what’s going on. For a minute, Jocelyn confuses Isabelle with her mother (there’s that generation xerox again), before introducing herself as Clary’s mom.

There’s some questions about this, and Jocelyn requests to speak to Clary alone, but no one’s having it. Clary asks how Jocelyn got there. Short version: Magnus popped back to New York, woke her up, then popped back to Shadowhunter land with her.

Then, for no apparent reason, Clary asks why Jocelyn never told her she had a brother. Even the narration acknowledges how weird and random this is.

Jocelyn’s answer? A) she thought he was dead, and B) she figured it’d be better to just not tell Clary. Clary is very upset with this answer. She’s also upset that Jocelyn never told her about Valentine, or any of the Shadowhunter stuff.

Gotta say, though, I’m not really feeling Clary’s side here. I mean, why would Jocelyn prepare Clary for a situation that she had no reason to expect would arise?

More angry Clary yelling at her mom. More talk about how nature trumps nurture. Because why bother being defined by what you do, when everything important about you can be determined at birth, right?

Jocelyn is clearly very hurt by all this, but of course the narration has to turn this back to Clary, because she feels bad for hurting her mom like this.

Our “Heroes”: 1

Clary starts tearing up, and rather than continue yelling at her mom (because that would only make Clary feel worse), she runs out the front door.

End scene.

Why did we have to have a chapter break between Jocelyn showing up and this? I mean, it’s just as dramatic a moment, and at least the next scene doesn’t pick up right from where this one leaves off.

And we jump over to Jace. He’s doing his best to track down not!Sebastian. And the best starting point he can think of is the stables.

(And yes, I’m going to continue to refer to him as that until we get an actual name for him)

Except that not!Sebastian didn’t take his horse with him. Jace figures it must be to avoid anyone using the horse to track him, but I’m inclined to think it’s because stealing a horse would probably draw some unwanted attention.

So instead, Jace steals the horse.

Our “Heroes”: 2

Oh, and even though it’s literally been years since he last rode a horse, and that he’s almost certainly grown a lot since then, he has no problem riding. Because of course he doesn’t.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 1

He then proceeds to ride to his old house. The narration says he manages this in two hours, by “riding at a near gallop” the whole way. Now, I don’t know a lot about horses, and I certainly have no first-hand experience with them, but I’m pretty damn sure that you really shouldn’t do that. I guess CC learned about horses from the same place that “Christopher Paolini did.”:https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SomewhereAnEquestrianIsCrying

But of course, despite all this, by the time Jace gets there, the horse only has “a light sheen of sweat” on it.

Moving on.

There’s no issues approaching the house, because apparently all the magical protections went down with the house itself. Jace has a quick flashback to growing up there. Not sure why this is happening now as opposed to last time.

Jace also “borrowed” (i.e stole) Alec’s not-wand, since Clary lost the one he’d lent her, and Alec can just get another one. Why Jace couldn’t just get another one himself is left unanswered.

Our “Heroes”: 3

You Keep Using That Word: 1

Un-Logic: 1

He uses the “borrowed” not-wand and the hair he snagged off of Clary’s coat to cast a locator spell. Why he chose to do this here as opposed to back at the stables two hours ago, given he had no idea where not!Sebastian is, I don’t know.

Un-Logic: 2

Further, I still don’t understand why he’s so damn set on keeping this a secret, when he could be doing this with backup. You know, so we can take Valentine down.

Un-Logic: 3

The spell basically works like a GPS, giving Jace a birds-eye view of a valley presumably where not!Sebastian is. And it’s only now that Jace understands how the Inquisitor managed to locate Valentine’s boat in the last book. Because Jace is an idiot.

Actually, quick correction – the spell isn’t like a GPS, it’s like a spy satellite. Because as he’s standing there, Jace’s vision zooms in on a house, and he sees not!Sebastian walk out. And we get this lovely description of him:

“his arrogance was plain in the way he walked, in the jut of his shoulders, the faint smirk on his face.”

Pot, meet kettle.

Jace then hops back on the horse, because he really doesn’t give a damn if he literally rides it to death.

Our “Heroes”: 4

End scene.

And we’re back with Clary again. Joy.

She’s up near the old Shadowhunter HQ/prison, staring out over the city. There’s mention of weather vanes, which are “rune-Marked” for some inexplicable reason.

You Keep Using That Word: 2

I honestly want to know what the purpose of this would be. I mean, a normal weather vane is perfectly capable of doing its job – showing which way the wind is blowing – without any magic or special technology involved. I guess it’s there because “magic”.

She’s apparently had a bit of a tantrum, which isn’t surprising. At least she had the sense to do it where no one would notice/care.

But now that she’s calmed down, she starts blaming Jocelyn for Jace’s behavior. Because god forbid Jace be forced to take responsibility for his own actions and decisions.

Simon pops up, because even CC understands that having a character mope alone will only maintain the reader’s interest for so long. So the solution is to give them someone to mope to.

We get an answer as to how Simon found Clary. He answers with an anecdote from when they were kids. Ultimate answer, though, is this:

“I know you,” he said. “When you get upset, you head for high ground.”

I… what?

I mean, fine, that’s Clary’s habit. So, why did he decide that the best place to go was here, rather than, say, the roof of the house? Could CC not come up with any other possible explanation?

Simon also brought Clary’s coat. Apparently she’s been really hard on it, because there’s now a hole in one elbow big enough to stick a finger through.

Clary asks if her mom sent him, but it turns out it was Luke. Simon then goes on to explain Luke’s whole ultimatum, because this is somehow relevant to her needing to head back.

No, I don’t understand it, either.

Un-Logic: 4

Clary, of course, is certain that the Shadowhunters will agree to Luke’s plan. Because no one would ever choose to side with someone like Valentine.

Apparently Clary needs to read up on the Weimar Republic. Especially the later years.

Then, for no apparent reason whatsoever, Clary asks Simon if he slept with Isabelle.

I mean, where the hell did that come from?

Simon says no, but also points out that it’s none of her damn business. I may be exaggerating somewhat, but the sentiment is there. Then Clary implies that doing so would be “taking advantage” of Isabelle. Simon points out pretty much no guy on the planet could “take advantage” of Isabelle, then obliquely notes that Clary’s trying to avoid talking about her own issues. So he asks her straight-out about how she feels about her mom.

Clary goes off on a whole thing, eventually getting to how mad she is about how much Jocelyn lied to her. But Simon has been paying attention, and points out that the first thing Clary asked about was having a brother.

Clary actually makes the argument that, had she known of Jace’s existence, she wouldn’t have fallen in lust with him. I may be taking some liberties, but the sentiment is there. And honestly, it’s crap. Because even if Clary had known that she had a brother, she would have believed he was dead. Because that’s what her mom believed.

That’s not how this shit works, Clary.

Un-Logic: 5

Simon doesn’t point that out, though, because that’s not the purpose of his character. No, instead he reassures Clary that Jace will totally come back, because their relationship is just that strong.

Thankfully, sunset comes, and Luke and his army of Downworlders show up. If nothing else, it provides a half-way decent excuse for a change of topic.

In this case, it’s Simon asking a question CC probably got asked a lot – since Clary can just make new magic runes, why doesn’t she just make one up to do whatever needs to be done? Like, destroy all the demons. Or kill Valentine.

Basically, the kind of questions an author should expect when they give a character vaguely defined powers.

And Clary’s answer is expectedly vague. Something about how she can only make runes that she can visualize the concept of. I think. Although, this fails to explain how she created the “no fear” rune or whatever it was in the last book – somehow she can “visualize” a concept like that, but “kill Valentine” is just too strange?

More likely answer in my opinion? CC didn’t really think through this whole “Clary can make new runes” power until it was already in the book. Possibly because none of her beta-readers brought it up.

There’s a lesson here – if you’re writing a book about people who use magic, make sure to devise the limits of it beforehand. Otherwise you end up in a situation like this.

The two sit there for a bit, chatting about nothing, watching the plot happen too far away for the reader to actually know what’s going on. Which kinda encapsulates this whole book, really.

They talk about stuff that should probably be obvious by now. Like that Simon doesn’t really feel cold weather now, or have actual body-heat. And that he’s immune to sunlight because he drank some of Jace’s special magic blood.

Which gets us to the topic of Jace. At least we’re getting this from Simon, so he rightly calls out how Clary basically creamed herself any time she was near him.

But then, it all falls apart. Because you see, Simon also realized that Jace really did love Clary, and that he wasn’t just trying to get into her pants like with all the other girls.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 2

Clary of course assumes that this must have played a part in Simon becoming a vampire, but don’t worry, Simon is more than happy to absolve her of any possible guilt she might be feeling. Because god forbid Clary feel responsible for any bad thing that’s happened. Can’t have her experiencing guilt – that might mean she did something bad!

And then Simon transitions into how he doesn’t regret their failed attempt at dating, which elicits this response from Clary:

“I wanted it to work so much,” Clary said softly. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

Bull. Shit.

Relationships take effort. From all parties. Clary put little to no effort into that relationship. Hell, she barely puts any effort into the relationship she and Simon have now. I’ll grant that she never seems to actively want to cause Simon pain, but she doesn’t really seem all that interested in doing stuff that might help him.

But that wouldn’t gell nicely with the theme of “Clary is great, and wonderful, and can do no wrong.”

Ugh.

Anyway, sunset finally comes, and the Shadowhunters don’t open the doors to let the Downworlders in. I know – it’s shocking that an incredibly racist society might be willing to choose an objectively terrible solution when the other option might require them addressing and possibly remedying said racism.

And honestly, given how much the characters have been pounding away that the Clave will definately decide to take Luke’s deal, I have to wonder if anyone reading this for the first time was remotely surprised by this turn of events.

Clary then insists that Shadowhunters – even Valentine – don’t really hate Downworlders. No, they’re really just jealous of them. Because that totally makes sense.

Then she has a flashback to Valentine torturing that angel, specifically him going on and on about how Downworlders are just so much more powerful and whatnot than Shadowhunters, and it’s just not fair.

And then for some reason, Clary thinks about a rune she’s been having dreams about. I can’t recall if that’s been a thing in this book or not, and I really don’t feel like going through my notes/ previous sporkings to check, so we’ll just go with it. Anyway, she somehow figures out that it’s a rune for binding stuff.

She doesn’t explain any further, though, opting instead to just start running for wherever the Shadowhunter leadership is hanging out. Because somehow we have tension or something.

End scene.

Next scene picks up a few minutes later, with Clary wandering the city streets, because she seems to have gotten lost.

A Word From Our Sponsors: 2

I mean, come on.

(Also, that commercial is the one that One Million Moms complained about being on Hallmark, and generated a huge kerfuffle when they got it banned. Screw those ladies.)

Anyway, Clary’s lost, because she isn’t aware that older cities didn’t really do the whole “urban planning” thing. Or that, even if all the streets are laid out in a nice grid (like in Manhattan), that’s not really going to prevent you from getting lost.

Eventually, she manages to stumble into one of the few major landmarks that have been mentioned, and finds her way to city hall.

Where Simon is already waiting for her. Reminder: he’s spent most of his time in this city in a cell, while Clary was free to wander the streets. And no, I don’t buy that he only got there before her because he has vampire super-speed.

They go inside, finding many Shadowhunters within. There’s a lot of shouting going on, so I can only conclude that the Shadowhunter government functions more like the British Parliament than the US Congress.

Clary looks for Luke, and finds him off to one side. He’s tired, which I suppose makes sense, as he apparently spent much of the night dealing with this nonsense.

But instead of going over to Luke and getting an update on the situation, she musters up her courage (by thinking about Jace, natch)

Both Hands, Ma’am: 3

and forces her way through the crowd and onto a central dias.

Of course, this big dramatic moment is undermined by everyone else in the room ignoring her. As they should.

But at least one person notices her – Malachi, the head Shadowhunter. Or Shadowhunter Prime Minister. Or whatever he is, because CC never really laid out how the Shadowhunter government actually works. Malachi responds as any decent government official would to a child stumbling into the main floor of a government building, and sends the guards to presumably escort her from the premises.

This somehow results in everyone finally noticing her. So Clary gives a big speech, the gist of which is “I’m Valentine’s daughter, and even though I only found out about him a few weeks ago, I totally know how to beat him.” Of course, she doesn’t bother to actually explain how, so Malachi tells her to get lost.

Then some guy named Patrick Penhallow (I think he’s another former not-Death Eater?) backs Clary because… reasons.

Un-Logic: 6

Clary brings up Malachi and the now-ex Inquisitor (the one who got offed last chapter, not the one from the previous book) threw Simon in a cell for… reasons.

Un-Logic: 7

This then segues to what happened on Valentine’s boat last book. I don’t see how these two points connect, except to maybe to undermine Malachi’s authority? Except that Shadowhunters are all super racist, so it’s not like they’d care.

Anyway, tells her story. Malachi doesn’t believe it, which kinda makes Jace’s whole “we can’t bring Clary to Shaowhunter land, they’ll want to figure out how her special powers work” thing seem pretty pointless.

Entirely Pointless: 1

There’s much arguing about Clary’s Sue-per powers, which consists pretty much of Clary explaining them, and Malachi calling her a liar. Then the Lightwoods show up, and Alec backs Clary and… Malachi calls her a liar again.

This whole thing seems pretty one-sided, honestly. And is easily resolved by Mama Lightwood proposing that they have Clary demonstrate said powers.

Of course, Clary freaks out at this prospect, because she doesn’t really understand how her powers work. Because CC didn’t really try to figure them out. And we need some more forced-tension.

But Clary gets a reassuring look from Simon, which triggers her thinking about Jace

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4

and she gets to work.

Clary draws a new rune, and does so entirely by instinct, because actually having to work to master a special power is for stupid people or something.

And… something happens. Everyone stares at her for a second, and then Clary says she knows what everyone saw, and that it couldn’t be done any other way except through some super-special new rune.

There’s just one problem – at no point is what Clary did explained.

And it’s only on going through this bit again that I can put together what she did. As near as I can tell, this fancy new rune made her look like whoever the viewer loved, based on some of the reactions – Luke sees Jocelyn, Amatis sees Stephen, and so on.

Now, why couldn’t this be explained? And how do we know that fairy magic or whatever couldn’t do the same? Because that sounds exactly like the kind of shit an evil fairy would pull.

But that’s me putting thought into this story.

Regardless, Malachi isn’t swayed. The Clave’s already decided to agree to Valentine’s demands, because of course they will. We still have to defeat another mini-boss before the big final confrontation, and Malachi is one of two options left.

Clary doesn’t take this well. She goes into a long-ass speech about how none of them remember what Valentine was like, despite having actually been there and interacted with him; but Clary, she knows what he’s like, even though she’s only actually interacted with him for maybe a few hours, total.

Clary and Malachi go at it for a bit, but the argument basically boils down to this:

Clary: Valentine is racist. Racism is bad.
Malachi: I’m also racist, and I don’t care.

And it’s only now that Clary figures out what the special new rune she’s been dreaming about does – it allows Shadowhunters and Downworlders to share their powers. It’s not a terrible idea, though I’m still questioning why the Downworlders would be willing to go along with this, save to make nice with the Shadowhunters – an act which I feel would be pointless, given their relations thus far.

So Clary asks the Shadowhunters to let her try out this fancy new rune on them, so they can all go off and fight Valentine together.

Also, somehow, she fails to notice that somewhere in her impassioned speech, she started staring at the ceiling. Don’t ask me how she failed to notice that; it’s a whole new level of obliviousness from Clary.

And that’s the end of chapter 16.

Honestly, I still don’t understand why that first scene had to be in this chapter. I mean, tacking it on to the end of the previous one, then having that chapter ending with Clary running off would probably have been just as good. Possibly better, since it would allow this one to open with more reflecting on that.

Well, regardless, I didn’t intend for this to come out so close to Christmas, but there it is. No promises on when the next installment will be out, but I do intend to finish this book.

See you folks around, and have a wonderful end-of-year holiday season.

Counts

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4 (Total: 68)
Entirely Pointless: 1 (Total: 13)
Our “Heroes”: 4 (Total: 78)
Plot Hole: 0 (Total: 14)
Rapier Twit: 0 (Total: 8)
You Keep Using That Word: 2 (Total: 108)
Shoddy World Building: 0 (Total: 29)
No Shit Sherlock: 0 ( Total: 2)
A Word From Our Sponsors: 2 (Total: 10)

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Comment

  1. Aikaterini on 22 December 2019, 14:21 said:

    Yay, this spork is back!

    Clary asks why Jocelyn never told her she had a brother. Even the narration acknowledges how weird and random this is.

    So…her mother has spent most of this book and the last two books in a coma. And yet the first thing that Clary does when she sees her awake is to yell at her. No hugging, no tears, no outpouring of relief, nothing. Just straight to talking about the plot. And then after she has the argument with her, she runs out. Which is exactly what she did in the first book. Argue with her mother and then run out on her.

    …Wow.

    “his arrogance was plain in the way he walked, in the jut of his shoulders, the faint smirk on his face.”

    Here we go. This is where the hypocrisy of the narrative really begins to reach its peak. Oh, Sebastian’s arrogant and smirks? Oh, no, that doesn’t remind me of anyone else in this series. Especially not someone that the narrative keeps trying to shove down our throats as sexy.

    Because god forbid Jace be forced to take responsibility for his own actions and decisions.

    Again, HER MOTHER JUST WOKE UP. Also, wasn’t Valentine the one who raised Jace? Why aren’t you blaming him?

    Simon also realized that Jace really did love Clary

    Yep, that’s why he constantly insults her, has no regard for her feelings, and constantly keeps things from her. Because apparently those are all acts of love. Stop using Simon as a mouthpiece.

    Because god forbid Clary feel responsible for any bad thing

    Or Jace.

    “I never wanted to hurt you.”

    Yep, that’s why you kept mooning over Jace and did nothing whenever Jace insulted Simon. Because you care about Simon so much, don’t you?

    I don’t buy Clary and Simon as friends. How am I supposed to believe that Clary ever cared about him as a boyfriend? Stop lying, book.

    Clary then insists that Shadowhunters – even Valentine – don’t really hate Downworlders. No, they’re really just jealous of them.

    Huh? Jealous of what? Shadowhunters are just regular people with superpowered tattoos. They don’t have to deal with any of the drawbacks that werewolves and vampires do. They can blend into mundane society at any time they want and they’re the elite of their society. What is there to be jealous of?

    that commercial is the one that One Million Moms complained about being on Hallmark

    But then Hallmark put it back on or at least said that they were going to. Hooray!

    So Clary gives a big speech, the gist of which is “I’m Valentine’s daughter, and even though I only found out about him a few weeks ago, I totally know how to beat him.”

    This is meant to be a big moment for Clary, but where was the build-up for this? Was Clary ever established as having a fear of public speaking? Has she been denounced by the Clave before? What leads up to this in terms of her character growth?

    Clary, she knows what he’s like, even though she’s only actually interacted with him for maybe a few hours

    Yep, just like how in COB, she could magically tell that Valentine ‘really, really liked her mom’ just by looking at a photo of them. Ever though she’d never met Valentine a day in her life.

    Clary: Valentine is racist. Racism is bad.

    Oh, yeah, because Clary cares so much about racism. It’s not like she’s attracted to someone who’s just as racist as Valentine is and never calls him out on it. It’s not like there are scenes where she herself is racist to Downworlders.

    Have a wonderful holiday!