Alright, so now that we’re all caught up and have gotten through the boring crap, let’s get to the actual meat of this thing.

Part one is called “Sparks Fly Upward.” The explanation (if you can call it that) comes from the quote, Job 5:7 – “Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward.” Like a lot of quotes CC chose to use in this series, it feels incredibly pretentious. I get what CC’s probably going for, but a big part of me can’t help but conclude that she only went with this quote because she liked the phrase “sparks fly upward.”

Chapter one is called “The Portal.” Knowing CC, the odds of any portals of any kind appearing in this chapter will be slim.

We begin by being told that a cold snap has ended. This is presumably to get across the point that the events of the last book occurred the previous week. And given that those events happened shortly after the events of the first book, it’s been less than a month since this series began.

At least I’m fairly sure of that – CC kinda sucks at conveying the passage of time, and no one’s mentioned any dates since Clary’s “two weeks until school starts” comment way back in the first book.

Anyway, Clary walks up to Luke’s porch where Simon’s playing Mario Kart on his Nintendo DS. At least, that’s what he says he’s playing; I’ve never played Mario Kart on the DS, but somehow I doubt playing it would involve poling the screen with the DS’s stylus.

Clary’s upset that Simon wasn’t there when she called him, but he explains that he was at band practice. Yes, we’re still going with that… I don’t know what to call it. “Sub-plot” seems a bit too substantial for it, given how much it’s been developed. Still, I continue to be far more interested in this than anything involving Clary, Jace, et al.

Clary, despite presumably having been to Luke’s house numerous times – not to mention living there for at least a week or more – somehow doesn’t know how to get the key to turn in the lock, so Simon has to do it for her. This is contrived purely so their hands can ‘accidentally’ brush, prompting the narration to explain about their failed romance. Which, again, occurred entirely in the previous week.

Oh, and by the way? The narration focuses entirely on Clary and how she feels about Simon. Because why focus on the party who was actually invested in the relationship?

Which brings us to our first count of the actual book:

Our “Heroes”: 1

Also, if Clary feels so “confused” whenever she deals with Simon, why was she trying to contact him in the first place?

Which brings us to our second count:

Plot Hole: 1

They head inside to Clary’s room, where she’s packing for the trip to the main (read: only) Shadowhunter city. So of course her suitcase is sitting open, with clothes and other stuff scattered around it.

Simon asks what’s up with the packing. Clary explains that she doesn’t have a lot of dresses or skirts, and doesn’t know if she can wear pants there. Simon, quite rightly, points out she’s just going to another country, not traveling through time, but Clary tries to justify her concern by claiming that Shadowhunters are “old-fashioned,” noting that Isabelle always wears dresses.

This whole thing is stupid, because A) I’d hardly call the Shadowhunters “old-fashioned” based on what the rest of them wear, and B) there’s a very simple solution – ask someone. You know plenty of people who could answer this question.

But never mind, because Clary’s just being super anxious, so she asks Simon to distract her by talking about practice. And CC decides to shake things up – instead of arguing about band names, this time they’re trying to come up with a new motto. I wasn’t aware that bands needed a motto. What were they considering?

“Something ironic, like ‘We’ve seen a million faces and rocked about eight percent of them.’”

Simon, that is not in any way ‘ironic’, not even in a “rain on your wedding day” sense. It’s just a joke referencing a Bon Jovi lyric. C’mon, man, you’re usually good for some half-way decent humor.

Clary asks if Simon told his band-mates that he’s a vampire. He says no. Then we get this:

“And besides, they’ll just think it makes you more of a rock god, like that vampire Lester.”
“Lestat,” Simon said. “That would be the vampire Lestat. And he’s fictional.”

Two things:

First: CC, you really shouldn’t be referencing the works of Anne Rice. I know she’s fallen quite a ways in recent years, but there’s a reason she got famous in the first place. I don’t think referencing better works of fiction is a good idea for you.

Second: does this conversation feel familiar? Because it should. This is almost literally the same conversation Clary and Simon had in the epilogue of the last book. Which, in-universe, probably happened maybe a few days ago. The only difference is that they’ve swapped rolls – Clary’s the one making the Lestat reference, and Simon shoots it down.

This does not bode well for this book. This means that a number of people – including CC herself, her beta readers, her editor, and possibly her agent – either didn’t know or didn’t care enough to check whether this was recycling material. And I’ll admit this: on my first read-through, even I didn’t realize it. It was only upon reaching this point in writing this up that I realized that CC literally just recycled her earlier stuff.

Again, this does not bode well for the quality of this book.

Moving on, Simon points out that Clary hasn’t told anyone about her being a Shadowhunter. Clary points out that she literally only has one friend: Simon. Show of hands – is anyone else surprised that Clary has no other friends? Mere words cannot express how surprised I am. So I’ll just let Captain Renault from Casablanca express how shocked I am by this:

Simon points out that Clary really didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, and I have to agree – if she and Jace hadn’t almost literally run into him while playing detective, I highly doubt Clary would have told Simon. Hell, I doubt she would have even spoken to Simon once she learned she was a super-awesome better-than-thou Shadowhunter.

But Simon is a better man than I, and instead tells Clary that he’ll miss her. Clary says the same, though I doubt her sincerity, especially given how giddy her internal monologue is, particularly at being there with Jace.

Which brings us to our third count:

Both Hands, Ma’am: 1

Then Simon asks the question that any semi-rational person might have asked, which makes me think that one of those people who missed the recycled dialogue must have brought it up – why does Clary have to go in the first place?

So CC pulls an answer out of her ass: the warlock who gave her mom the coma spell (a guy named Ragnor Fell – yet another awesome name utterly wasted by this series) doesn’t know Madeleine (the woman who met Clary at the end of the last book and claimed to know how to fix the whole ‘mom in a coma’ thing), so instead we’re banking on generational-xeroxing to get him to agree.

Sure, why not? I mean, it’s not like we could produce any kind of evidence that Madeleine knows Jocelyn, like say, a photo of them when they were younger or something. No, clearly the only solution is to hope that Clary looks enough like her mother to convince him that she is Jocelyn’s kid. And hope that Fell doesn’t just conclude that Clary’s a shape-shifter or an illusion or something, because who knows whether those things exist or not.

Also, why is this guy living in Shadowhunter-land in the first place? This isn’t like Harry Potter, where the magical humans live and work along side the magical non-humans. Despite all the attempts to make the Shadowhunters look like the good guys, they’re still racist assholes. Valentine wasn’t the rare exception – he was just more extreme.

Don’t believe me? Well, Clary also mentions that Luke can’t come with her to Shadowhunter-ville because Downworlders need permission to enter the city.

Oh, also, the Lightwoods and Jace are going along, because why not let the former terrorists/war criminals come and go freely from your capital city?

The scene ends with Clary telling Simon that Jace is totally fine with this whole trip. But the narration tells us that she’s lying. Jace isn’t fine with it. He’s not fine with it at all.

Scene break, and we’re in a flashback to just after the end of the previous book. Gotta say, putting this here actually works.

Seems that Clary went directly from the hospital to tell Jace about her meeting with Madeleine. Not to Luke, her surrogate father who’s clearly in love with Jocelyn and might know who Madeleine is, and whether she can be trusted. No, instead, she has to tell the brother she just learned about a week or so ago, and who has no connection to their mother at all.

For some reason, Jace is opposed to Clary going on her little jaunt.

I’m actually torn on this point: on the one hand, there’s really no reason why Clary has to be the one to go see Fell; but on the other hand, Jace has no right to tell her what she can or can’t do. So I’ll just split the difference and call them both idiots.

Also there’s going to be a big to-do in Shadowhunter-land (not to be confused with Shadowhunter World, which is in Florida): all the active members of the Clave are being called up to decide what to do about Valentine, so that’s why all the Lightwoods are going.

Again, I’m torn: it’s nice to see that the authorities are taking this seriously, but do they really need to call in everyone to discuss this? This seems pretty executive-decision to me.

Also, why do the kids need to come? As we’ll see, none of them save Alec are old enough to vote on this stuff, and the Lightwoods have no problem leaving their kids in New York (no, I don’t consider Hodge to have been a babysitter), so why are Jace, Isabelle, and Max being brought along?

Answer: so all the characters can be kept together.

So Clary asks why she can’t come, if all the Shadowhunters are supposed to go. Jace says that, “it isn’t safe for [her] there.” You’re really ramping up that “controlling douchebag” stat there, Jace.

Clary points out that she’s already been in plenty of danger without leaving New York, and we’re again told that the events of the previous books all took place in the last month. Seriously, CC really sucks at conveying the passage of time.

Jace tries to explain that away by saying that all that was because two of the MacGuffins were in New York. Which just goes to show why you don’t keep your plot coupons in the same place. Also, I was under the impression that the Silent City was in some kind of extra-dimensional space or something; no way it could have actually been under New York this whole time.

Maryse shows up and points out that they don’t know what Valentines’ going to do, and besides, the Clave wants to meet Clary. Jace gets mouthy, and Maryse displays a surprising amount of restraint by not slapping him upside the head. But she does make a good decision and quickly decides to just ignore Jace, and treats Clary like an adult. I’m not certain that Clary deserves it, but whatever.

Also, I have to note this bit of narration:

Alec and Isabelle seemed genuinely fond of their mother, and she was sure Maryse wasn’t a bad person, really, but she wasn’t exactly warm.

Why? Little reminder: Maryse Lightwood is this world’s Narcissa Malfoy, not Molly Weasley, despite all CC’s attempts to say otherwise. Just saying, I wouldn’t expect “warm” from Ilsa, she-wolf of the SS.

Clary and Jace have another little spat, in which we get this lovely little exchange:

“Maryse trusts the Clave too much,” said Jace. “She has to believe they’re perfect, and I can’t tell her they aren’t, because—” He stopped abruptly.
“Because that’s something Valentine would say.”

I bring this up because, especially on re-reading this, Jace has literally no justification for his stance. None. At all. Yes, the Inquisitor was mean to him, but A) she was just one person, and B) most of that was his own damn fault. So honestly, this just reads like CC couldn’t stand for Jace to be wrong or mislead, so she randomly slapped this attitude on him. And this won’t be the only time Jace has some random, baseless conviction that will prove to be correct.

Jace makes a comment about how, “no one is perfect,” leaving off the implicit, “except for me, that is.”

Clary asks if maybe there’s some other reason he doesn’t want her along, which gets a bit of her internal monologue about how she still wants to jump his bones, despite him claiming he doesn’t want to do the same to her (even though we all know it’s an obvious lie).

Both Hands, Ma’am: 2

Clary actually makes a comment about caring about her mother, which is impressive, given how she’s spent so much of this series not caring about the only parent she’s ever had.

Jace grabs Clary by the shoulders, which almost results in her creaming herself.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 3

And then we get a detailed accounting of how he looks, because of course we do.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 4

Then CC demonstrates again that she doesn’t know much about art, and that making Clary an ‘artist’ was a big mistake:

[Jace] was a study in contrasts, something to be painted in shades of black, white, and gray, with splashes of gold here and there, like his eyes, for an accent color—

Gag me. And just for spite,

Both Hands, Ma’am: 5

Jace tries yet again to get Clary to agree to stay in New York, even offering to go with Madeleine in her place. And he still doesn’t provide any real justification for why Clary shouldn’t go. He tries bringing up that Madeline didn’t talk to him, just Clary, and Clary points out the obvious – while she’s Jocelyn’s daughter, Jace is Valentine’s son. Jace gets upset about this, but it’s true: he was raised by Valentine, taught by Valentine, and was more than willing to join up with Valentine when he came back.

There’s also the whole, ‘Jace doesn’t know and has no real connection to Jocelyn,’ thing, too.

So that’s why Jace is all pissy with Clary. And I don’t give a damn.

Another scene break brings the flashback to a close. And apparently Clary’s recollection might have happened in real-time, since she seems to have zoned out. Also, Jace hasn’t talked to her since then. But I don’t care, and neither should you. However, I do care that she decided that having her flashback was more important than paying attention to Simon, so I’m giving her one of these:

Our “Heroes”: 2

Anyway, Luke’s returned, and he bought something for Clary. The narration notes that “almost everything [Clary] owned now was a gift from Luke,” and since I’ve yet to see her so much as thank him, that gets her another one.

Our “Heroes”: 3

Yes, it’s minor, and not exactly unexpected, given what happened to her stuff, but a simple “thank you” wouldn’t be unwarranted.

So, what did Luke buy for Clary this time? A fancy green coat, that looks like something Shadowhunters wear, so she’ll blend in. They even have a little talk about how, technically, she is a Shadowhunter.

Then this happens:

Simon made an odd noise, and Clary looked guiltily at him – she’d almost forgotten he was there.

Yeah, that’s about par for the course.

Our “Heroes”: 4

Simon says he has to leave, but Clary tries to insist he stay, but he’s determined. Also, Clary thinks something’s bothering him, but doesn’t say anything, because that would show actual concern for Simon and his feelings or something.

Our “Heroes”: 5

Then Simon mentions that he’s going to meet up with Maia, the werewolf girl from the previous book, and Clary gets all huffy. Two things about this: first, once again, Clary only shows an interest in Simon in response to someone else’s interest in him. Remember, just a minute ago she literally almost forgot he was there.

Our “Heroes”: 6

Second, good on Simon. Dude deserves to hook up with a girl who’s actually interested in him. It doesn’t hurt that I actually like Maia, probably because CC has thus far shown little to no interest in her.

Oh, this bit is hilarious. Check it out:

Simon’s dark eyes were unreadable. This was new – [Clary had] always been able to read Simon before. She wondered if it was a side effect of the vampirism, or something else entirely.

You’re really going to try and make that claim, CC? When Clary couldn’t tell that Simon had a crush on her, despite it being obvious to literally everyone else?

Clary complains to Luke that Simon’s acting weird, and Luke points out that she did break up with him. Clary says that Simon’s the one who broke up with her, only for Luke to rightly point out that Simon only did that because Clary wasn’t interested in him. He also makes a reference to Say Anything, which I’m okay with, since Luke’s an older guy.

Clary says she wants Simon back to normal, buy which I assume she means following her like a puppy. She puts on the coat, and suddenly things get way creepier: Luke says that Clary looks just like her mom at that age, which given how he clearly wants to bone Jocelyn, really makes me want to take a shower. There’s this whole Littlefinger/ Sansa thing coming off of it.

[shudder]

Anyway, Clary wants to say goodbye to her mom before leaving – don’t expect to see it, though – and Luke makes this comment:

“Normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Well, given how Clary jumped head-first into this whole Shadowhunter thing, I doubt Clary needs to be told that.

Scene break, and now we’re in Simon’s POV. He’s standing outside the Institute, because we’re tying to save money for the new sets, which is odd, because this is a book. Also, because CC continues to capitalize Institute, we get another count:

You Keep Using That Word: 1

While Simon’s standing there, a voice in his head telling him he shouldn’t be there, because it’s a church, and he’s a vampire. Simon responds with this:

“Shut up,” he muttered halfheartedly. “Besides, I don’t care about churches. I’m Jewish.”

First, they made a similar joke in Fearless Vampire Killers.

Second, there it was at least kind of funny, so we get another count.

Rapier Twit: 1

There’s a description of Simon hearing voices and mistakenly thinking that they’re close by, but really it’s just his fancy vampire super-hearing. Credit where due, I like this – it shows how Simon’s still adjusting to being a vampire. However, CC also throws in the terms “Turned” and “Institute,” so two more of these.

You Keep Using That Word: 3

Simon walks around to find the source of the voices, and it’s the Lightwoods, Madeline, and Magnus. Everyone else gets a sentence or less describing them, but Jace gets a whole damn paragraph. And even though this is from Simon’s perspective, CC can’t bother to differentiate her characters:

When Simon wore all black, he looked like he was on his way to a funeral, but Jace just looked tough and dangerous. And blonder. Simon felt his shoulders tighten and wondered if anything – time, or forgetfulness – would ever dilute his resentment of Jace. He didn’t want to feel it, but there it was, a stone weighting down his unbeating heart.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 6

Seriously, does everyone have to describe Jace as being attractive? I get Clary, but Simon? If anything, Simon should be noting all the little flaws in Jace’s appearance.

And why the hell shouldn’t Simon feel this way? Since they met, Jace has been nothing but a condescending asshole to Simon. Even after Simon not only saved the lives of Jace, Alec, and Isabelle, but also took down with a single shot the demon that wiped the floor with all three of them. Which, according to this book’s timeline, was only about two or three weeks ago.

But I guess that’s what happens when you hit the reset button on character development between books.

Jace notices Simon, and tells Maryse that he needs to take care of something. And somehow, I’m supposed to read this as Jace addressing Maryse as an equal, rather than a teenager talking to their parent. Because again, we have to make Jace seem more special.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 7

Simon manages to eavesdrop on a conversation between Maryse and Magnus. Apparently Magnus is setting up a temporary Portal to Shadowhunter-land, but it’s taking a while.

You Keep Using That Word: 4 (for “Portal”)

Also, Magnus is only charging them half his normal rate for this, because these folks have no qualms about taking advantage of his relationship with Alec, even when they’re supposedly trying to keep that a secret.

Our “Heroes”: 7

Also also, Madeleine is staying behind. So, how was Clary supposed to find this guy Fell on her own, again?

Also also also, wasn’t there another Portal in New York? I know that Valentine destroyed one in the first book, but what about the one in Madame Dorothea’s closet? You know, from way back in the first book? What happened to that one? Did it get wrecked off-screen? Or did CC just forget it exists?

Plot Hole: 2

And apparently Clary’s obliviousness is catching, because Simon fails to notice Jace until he gets dragged off by him. Apparently Jace wants a private chat, going so far as to stick a note on Simon’s window. And despite CC’s attempts, Simon still manages to be the best character, because he responds with this:

“Don’t you ever use the phone like normal people?”

And Jace proves that he’s still a racist prick, because he responds with this:

“Not if I can avoid it, vampire.”

Our “Heroes”: 8

I said this several times in the last book, but I’ll say it again here: would it kill you to use his name?

For some reason, Jace feels the need to comment on Simon being immune to sunlight. Simon saves me the time by pointing out that, not only was this established at the end of the last book, but Jace was there when we found out. They engage in a short battle of wits, which Jace loses, because he’s unarmed. Though this doesn’t keep CC from making excuses for him.

Anyway, Jace asked Simon here to talk about Clary, because they both care about her. There’s a brief bit where Simon thinks Jace is going to make fun of him for his feelings, which is described as, “unusually cruel, even for Jace.”

Quick reminder: Jace’s initial comment about Simon’s feelings for Clary (i.e. that he was clearly in love with her, and she was completely oblivious) was that he found it funny. So, no, this would not be “unusually cruel” for Jace; if anything, it’s completely in keeping with his character. CC, I know it took you a long time to write this, but if I can remember stuff like this, you can, too.

Simon also proves to be more insightful than Clary, since it takes one look for him to figure out that Jace still has the hots for her, despite the whole “she’s your sister” thing.

Anyway, we finally get to why Jace wanted to talk to Simon – he and the Lightwoods are leaving for Shadowhunter-land now, and he wants Simon to tell everyone that Clary sent him to say she won’t be coming.

Simon says no, because this is to help Jace, and Jace argues that he’s just trying to protect Clary. Simon again voices my feelings, and points that Jace is being really secretive about this, and that’s not helping his case.

So Jace finally comes clean: he doesn’t want the Clave learning about what Clary did on Valentine’s ship, and Jace lied about what happened because he fears that if the Clave finds out, they’ll try to make Clary into a weapon. And I have to say, this is probably the first time in three books that I’ve actually seen Jace show real concern for another person. Which is kinda disturbing, considering he’s supposed to be the big hero and all.

Simon points out that Jace is being a bit selfish, which is fair, and Jace calls him “vampire” again. Not once in this conversation has he used Simon’s name.

Our “Heroes”: 9

But now this conversation has served its purpose, there’s a sudden attack on the others!

The garden is filled with mist that smells of ozone and “something sweet and unpleasant.” Don’t ask me how that works. Isabelle is fighting with her whip, and it’s still a stupid choice of weapon.

Jace enters, and we finally find out what’s attacking – Forsaken. So I guess someone reminded CC that these things exist.

There’s a fight. It’s okay, I guess. I feel it’s mostly there to show Jace being badass or whatever. Simon doesn’t get to participate, though, because Jace tells him not to. Call me crazy, but I’d think the super-strong, super-fast vampire might be useful in a fight, but that’s me. Then the smoke clears, and Magnus opens the Portal

You Keep Using That Word: 7 (“Portal” x 3, also “Institute”)

and everyone starts piling through.

Simon sees a Forsaken about to get an unconscious Isabelle (because of course she’s the only one among the main cast to get taken down, but that’s what you get for using a whip in combat), only to trip over the dead body of Madeleine.

Rest in peace, lady. We hardly knew ye.

Seriously, we know nothing about her. She’s literally a plot device.

Jace yells at Simon, just in time for Simon to notice the Forsaken about to stab him.

And that’s where the chapter ends.

While I guess it’s not a terrible way to end a chapter, but I can’t help but feel that it’s really forced drama. I mean, did anyone reading this for the first time actually believe that Simon would get killed? This is CC we’re talking about – she wouldn’t have Clary’s chew-toy bite it like that.

Well, that’s all for now. Until next time, folks.

Counts

Both Hands, Ma’am: 6 (Total: 6)
Entirely Pointless: 0 (Total: 1)
Our “Heroes”: 9 (Total: 9)
Plot Hole: 2 (Total: 2)
Rapier Twit: 1 (Total: 1)
You Keep Using That Word: 7 (Total: 7)

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Comment

  1. The Smith of Lie on 24 February 2018, 03:22 said:

    (a guy named Ragnor Fell – yet another awesome name utterly wasted by this series)

    Who wants to bet that those Warlock names aren’t their real names and they come up with them in order to make themselves seem more cool and intimidating than they really are? I mean, this is litrally the second time a warlock’s name in this series gave me flashbacks to Bison Dragonclaw…

    Don’t believe me? Well, Clary also mentions that Luke can’t come with her to Shadowhunter-ville because Downworlders need permission to enter the city.

    Wait a second. So the Fell guy lives in the Shadowhunter’s city, but the downworlders are not allowed there… I was under impression that warlocks count as downworlders – have I missed when it was established otherwise or is it just CC’s internal consistancy giving up?

    I bring this up because, especially on re-reading this, Jace has literally no justification for his stance. None. At all. Yes, the Inquisitor was mean to him, but A) she was just one person, and B) most of that was his own damn fault. So honestly, this just reads like CC couldn’t stand for Jace to be wrong or mislead, so she randomly slapped this attitude on him. And this won’t be the only time Jace has some random, baseless conviction that will prove to be correct.

    Depending on the execution, I don’t know what the type and scope of the conflict between characters and Clave will end up, this is most probably going to make it completly uninteresting. I know this is a bit of dead horse, but lets bring up Dresden Files again. There’s a lot of conflict between Harry and White Council despite being nominally on the same side. And he clashes with Morgan and Merlin repeatadly. But at the same time, despite considering both of them assholes, Harry can at least see where they are coming from and reader is left with feeling that neither side is 100% correct.

    I bet diamonds against donuts that anything like this won’t happen here. Probably it’ll end with Jayce smugly stating “Told you so!”

    But I guess the Clave not being perfect is more of equivalent to Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. Which at least had its problems established gradually through the first few books with differenct incidents. But I guess we’ll have to rely on Jayce’s word instead of having been shown the corruption in the system… (Unless we count the treatment of Lightwoods and the rest of Voldentine’s clique as such, but I doubt that’s CC’s intent).

    Clary says she wants Simon back to normal, buy which I assume she means following her like a puppy.

    I don’t put much stock in the whole Friend Zone thing. But Clary’s attitude towards Simon seems to be one of those rare instances where one person strings the other along and abuses their infatutation. And given that it’s Clary I guess she’s doing this just for her own sadistic pleasure.

  2. Apep on 24 February 2018, 12:56 said:

    Who wants to bet that those Warlock names aren’t their real names and they come up with them in order to make themselves seem more cool and intimidating than they really are?

    That honestly wouldn’t surprise me.

    Wait a second. So the Fell guy lives in the Shadowhunter’s city, but the downworlders are not allowed there… I was under impression that warlocks count as downworlders – have I missed when it was established otherwise or is it just CC’s internal consistancy giving up?

    He doesn’t live in their city, but he does live in their territory. And no, I don’t understand why Downworlders can live in Shadowhunter-land but not Shadowhunter-ville, nor why they would want to live in Shadowhunter-land.

    But I guess the Clave not being perfect is more of equivalent to Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter. Which at least had its problems established gradually through the first few books with differenct incidents.

    That’s the real problem – we’ve never seen Jace express this opinion before, and he has little reason to be expressing it now. It really doesn’t help that the events of the first book took place only a few weeks ago, while the Harry Potter books covered several years.

    I don’t put much stock in the whole Friend Zone thing. But Clary’s attitude towards Simon seems to be one of those rare instances where one person strings the other along and abuses their infatuation.

    Yeah, I don’t like the concept of the “friend zone” either, but honestly it fits really well here. I don’t think that Clary has to reciprocate Simon’s feelings, but her behavior in response to any female showing an interest in Simon only muddies the waters. And after the events of the previous book, Clary really has no reason to have any claim on Simon.

    This reads like she’s upset that she can’t have Jace, and doesn’t like that Simon won’t be with her while she’s pining away for Jace. Girl needs to learn to be happy while single.

  3. Aikaterini on 26 February 2018, 10:43 said:

    I’d hardly call the Shadowhunters “old-fashioned” based on what the rest of them wear

    No, but they’re certainly “old-fashioned” in terms of their behavior toward Downworlders and mundanes.

    Clary points out that she literally only has one friend: Simon

    From a storytelling perspective, it’s easier to just give the main character one friend instead of writing multiple people. But given Clary’s personality, no, I’m not surprised that she only has one friend. A ‘friend’ that she treats like a dog, no less.

    No, clearly the only solution is to hope that Clary looks enough like her mother to convince him that she is Jocelyn’s kid.

    Just like how all Clary had to do was shove Jace in front of Jocelyn’s comatose body and she’d miraculously awaken like Sleeping Beauty? Yes, that idea worked so well, so let’s try it again, only with Clary this time.

    Oh, also, the Lightwoods and Jace are going along, because why not let the former terrorists/war criminals come and go freely from your capital city?

    So, Downworlders need special permission, but Valentine’s former lieutenants don’t. Yeah, that’s totally fair and reasonable.

    And this won’t be the only time Jace has some random, baseless conviction that will prove to be correct.

    Because heaven forbid he be wrong about anything.

    Clary actually makes a comment about caring about her mother, which is impressive, given how she’s spent so much of this series not caring about the only parent she’s ever had.

    Or the only friend she’s ever had.

    Clary looked guiltily at him – she’d almost forgotten he was there.

    This is really beginning to come off as a parody at this point. Seriously, we should make a drinking game of how many times Clary forgets that Simon exists.

    Seriously, does everyone have to describe Jace as being attractive?

    And I love how Clare describes his feelings as ‘resentment’, lest we think that Simon was justified in disliking Jace. “Oh, no, it’s just because he’s jealous!” Yeah, sure.

    And somehow, I’m supposed to read this as Jace addressing Maryse as an equal, rather than a teenager talking to their parent.

    And somehow we’re supposed to think that Jace is cool for doing this, instead being an arrogant and disrespectful little brat. Or believe that Jace does consider the Lightwoods to be his true family.

    “unusually cruel, even for Jace.”

    Unusually cruel, huh? Funny, I remember Jace almost killing an entire werewolf pack with no remorse, remorselessly gambling with a girl’s life when he Marked her, joining the villain at the end of the first book, constantly insulting and baiting Simon, treating Clary like a child, etc., etc.

    But, no, this is what crosses the line into ‘unusually cruel’. Give me a break.

    Jace finally comes clean: he doesn’t want the Clave learning about what Clary did on Valentine’s ship, and Jace lied about what happened because he fears that if the Clave finds out, they’ll try to make Clary into a weapon

    So…why couldn’t Jace just tell this to Clary? Oh, right, because going behind your girlfriend/sister’s back is just so romantic as long as you do it for the ‘right’ reasons. Because heaven forbid that he talk to her about things or be honest with her. That’s not dramatic enough. And it wouldn’t lead to the inevitable misunderstanding where she accuses him of not caring about her, and he reveals the reason why he did it, and she feels so ashamed for doubting him (oh, woe!) and has to eat crow, and he ends up totally vindicated for lying to her and bossing her around because he knows best.

    because of course she’s the only one among the main cast to get taken down

    Dear Lord.

  4. The Smith of Lie on 26 February 2018, 16:09 said:

    And no, I don’t understand why Downworlders can live in Shadowhunter-land but not Shadowhunter-ville, nor why they would want to live in Shadowhunter-land.

    I guess someone needs to work on plantations.

  5. Golden Slot ผ่านเว็บ on 19 March 2018, 04:15 said:

    Now I’m following this. Can you explain it to me?

  6. TMary on 19 July 2018, 06:22 said:

    Welp, I’m super-duper late, but I kinda wanted to make a comment because I had things to say? So here I am?

    Incoming long comment alert, just letting you know. TL;DR version: I enjoyed this sporking.

    I get what CC’s probably going for, but a big part of me can’t help but conclude that she only went with this quote because she liked the phrase “sparks fly upward.”

    Which, y’know, is fine, when you’re eleven and writing pseudo-intellectual fanfiction (no, I don’t speak from experience at all, why do you ask whistles innocently). If you’re going to be a Serious Published Author in your thirties or so, like CC…it’s time for a justification.

    Chapter one

    Minor nitpick here, but you probably want to capitalize the “one” as well as the “Chapter”. Unless that’s just your style of writing chapter numbers, in which case ignore me.

    We begin by being told that a cold snap has ended. This is presumably to get across the point that the events of the last book occurred the previous week. And given that those events happened shortly after the events of the first book, it’s been less than a month since this series began.

    Wow, that seems like simultaneously a lot and very little to fit into less than a month. Give your characters (and readers) some breathing room, CC!

    Also, this means Clary managed to fall desperately in love with Jace in less than a month, but, y’know, bad YA romance.

    but somehow I doubt playing it would involve poling the screen with the DS’s stylus.

    Is “poling” a gaming term that I don’t know, or did you mean to say “poking”?

    Clary’s upset that Simon wasn’t there when she called him,

    That could seriously be the story of Clary and Simon’s entire relationship, if you added “even though Clary was never there when Simon called her”.

    Still, I continue to be far more interested in this than anything involving Clary, Jace, et al.

    I feel you, bro.

    Clary, despite presumably having been to Luke’s house numerous times – not to mention living there for at least a week or more – somehow doesn’t know how to get the key to turn in the lock,

    Wow, she’s even worse with locks and keys than I am, and that’s saying something.

    Simon, quite rightly, points out she’s just going to another country, not traveling through time, but Clary tries to justify her concern by claiming that Shadowhunters are “old-fashioned,” noting that Isabelle always wears dresses.

    Yeeeah, but Isabelle’s dresses are, IIRC, not exactly “old-fashioned” dresses. Isabelle herself is not really an “old-fashioned” kind of girl. I’m just saying.

    I wasn’t aware that bands needed a motto.

    tries to think if she’s ever heard of a band with a “motto”

    draws a blank

    Yeah, that’s a book/movie thing, taglines and subtitles and whatnot, not a band thing.

    The only difference is that they’ve swapped rolls

    “Roles”, there.

    Also, that material recycling thing is really quite pathetic.

    Clary points out that she literally only has one friend: Simon.

    You’d think she’d treat him as if he were a little more valuable to her, then. Not that her behavior would be okay even if she had more friends.

    Also there’s going to be a big to-do in Shadowhunter-land (not to be confused with Shadowhunter World, which is in Florida)

    Aha, you get a snicker. XD Also, was that a conscious paraphrase of Friar Tuck from Disney’s Robin Hood? Because that’s all I can hear in my head.

    do they really need to call in everyone to discuss this? This seems pretty executive-decision to me.

    Not to mention…isn’t the whole job of the Shadowhunters supposed to be that they protect humanity from dangerous monsters? You mean to tell me that they can just take time off to go on a vacation? And if this absolutely requires everyone’s input, there’s no way for them to remotely communicate by magic or runes or whatever?

    Maryse shows up and points out that they don’t know what Valentines’

    Swap your apostrophe and your S, there.

    and she was sure Maryse wasn’t a bad person, really,

    Really now? And what evidence, exactly, do you have to back up that assertion, Clary? Because I remember Maryse working with Valentine to completely eradicate the Downworlders and showing absolutely no remorse for it.

    Then again, you think Jace is just the cat’s pajamas and he incessantly abuses your admitted only friend, so I suppose it makes sense.

    So honestly, this just reads like CC couldn’t stand for Jace to be wrong or mislead, so she randomly slapped this attitude on him. And this won’t be the only time Jace has some random, baseless conviction that will prove to be correct.

    First off, did you mean “she couldn’t stand for Jace to be misled”, or “she couldn’t stand for Jace to mislead”? I’m just curious, because from where I’m standing it could be either one, but the first one would be spelled wrong.

    Second, while that’s annoying as heck, I would argue that the Clave aren’t perfect because they seem to have no problem with racism and letting war criminals go off basically scot-free, on the basis that “Oh, the poor dears have kids”. However, that’s not Jace’s argument, so you’re still righter than he is.

    Jace grabs Clary by the shoulders, which almost results in her creaming herself.

    SHEESHIE-BODEESHIE, Clary, SELF-CONTROL! I mean, I get it, hot boy you’re attracted to has touched you, fair enough, but you ought to be able to keep from getting aroused when what he’s doing is gripping your arms in a forceful if not threatening manner. rolls eyes

    [Jace] was a study in contrasts, something to be painted in shades of black, white, and gray, with splashes of gold here and there, like his eyes, for an accent color—

    OK, I’m not an artist either, so if there’s anything horrifically wrong with the technicalities here I’m not aware of it, but still…CC, what are you talking about?

    Also, gag me too.

    He tries bringing up that Madeline didn’t talk to him, just Clary,

    Wait…is Madeline spelled with or without an “ei”? Because I’ve seen you switch a few times.

    Yes, it’s minor, and not exactly unexpected, given what happened to her stuff, but a simple “thank you” wouldn’t be unwarranted.

    Yeah, you better believe that if someone I considered an honorary uncle was letting me crash with him while my mom was in a coma and he was buying me stuff and generally looking out for me, I’d be gushing with thank yous and offers of help around the house. It’s called manners. And gratitude. And BASIC HUMAN DECENCY.

    Yeah, that’s about par for the course.

    Seriously, you should have just done a count of “Clary Forgot Simon Again” or maybe something more cleverly titled.

    You’re really going to try and make that claim, CC? When Clary couldn’t tell that Simon had a crush on her, despite it being obvious to literally everyone else?

    Yeah, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll insert my own laughing GIF.

    She puts on the coat, and suddenly things get way creepier: Luke says that Clary looks just like her mom at that age, which given how he clearly wants to bone Jocelyn, really makes me want to take a shower. There’s this whole Littlefinger/ Sansa thing coming off of it.

    Er…maybe it’s creepier in the book, when you read it, but my dad’s remarked on how much I look like my mom before, without it being creepy. It’s a thing people say, sometimes. YMMV.

    He’s standing outside the Institute, because we’re tying to save money for the new sets, which is odd, because this is a book.

    First of all, that made me laugh. Second, “trying”.

    While Simon’s standing there, a voice in his head telling him he shouldn’t be there, because it’s a church, and he’s a vampire.

    Think you mean, “A voice in his head starts telling him he shouldn’t be there”, or something like it.

    However, CC also throws in the terms “Turned” and “Institute,” so two more of these.

    I’ll give you “Turned”, but…is “Institute” really so bad? I mean, there’s plenty of places out there called “Such-and-Such Institute” with a capital I, so why not call this the “Shadowhunter Institute” and capitalize the I? Or am I missing something?

    and it’s the Lightwoods, Madeline, and Magnus.

    Again, “Madeline” is either right or the other times were wrong.

    When Simon wore all black, he looked like he was on his way to a funeral, but Jace just looked tough and dangerous. And blonder.

    Oh, DO shut up, CC.

    Apparently Jace wants a private chat, going so far as to stick a note on Simon’s window.

    We…we are sure that JacexClary is the ship here, yes?

    I said this several times in the last book, but I’ll say it again here: would it kill you to use his name?

    You know, this just reminded me of something in the Artemis Fowl series. Fairies of different species sometimes call each other by species name, but it’s stated outright that this is a HUGE insult unless the two of you are very close. Just thought I’d mention how a good author handles these scenarios.

    They engage in a short battle of wits, which Jace loses, because he’s unarmed.

    XD

    CC, I know it took you a long time to write this, but if I can remember stuff like this, you can, too.

    In fairness, you probably remember it because you saw how horrendous it was. CC just thought it was a joke and forgot about it, the way she forgot her joke about Lestat.

    But now this conversation has served its purpose,

    Now that this conversation has served its purpose.

    The garden is filled with mist that smells of ozone and “something sweet and unpleasant.”

    Eh, there are some things that can smell sweet and unpleasant at the same time – various perfumes, rotting bananas, that sort of thing. What I’m confused about is why she described the mist as smelling like “ozone” when that…doesn’t really call an olfactory description to my mind. I didn’t even know ozone had a smell.

    and Magnus opens the Portal

    Oh hey, look, there was a portal! Right at the very end and not really as the focus of the chapter, but still, a portal! Progress!

    she wouldn’t have Clary’s chew-toy bite it like that.

    Heh heh, Clary’s chew toy “bite” it. Dyegeddit? Because he’s a chew toy…and he wouldn’t bite…yeah, I know, I’ll go.

    Smith of Lie: Who wants to bet that those Warlock names aren’t their real names and they come up with them in order to make themselves seem more cool and intimidating than they really are?

    I support this headcanon.