Alright, the epilogue. Now, you’d expect this sort of thing to be short – tie up a few loose ends, maybe tease at the sequel, but overall it should be a fairly quick read.

It should not be almost as long as the preceding chapter. Seriously, CC, why didn’t you just make this chapter 24?

But enough of my griping, you’re here to find out what happens (and possibly see my suffering, you sick freaks).

Clary’s visiting the hospital where her mom is being kept. Yep, Jocelyn’s still in a coma.

(Seriously, I feel sorry for Lena Headey being cast in this role – she’s a good actress, and she probably doesn’t get more than ten minutes of screen time)

When Clary reaches her room, Luke’s already there, despite having clearly visible bandages. Guess he’s just a glutton for punishment. Oh, and Brother Jeremiah’s there too. And Clary’s upset about his presence because… reasons.

She asks if they’re going to help her mom, but Jerry gives her some faux philosophical dribble in response. To her credit, Clary calls him on it, and presses for an answer. Jerry says that, since Jocelyn left the Shadowhunters, it’s not their policy to help her out. And while that’s kind of a dick move, I can kind of understand the thinking behind it.

Brother Jerry leaves, having served his purpose and filled in that particular plot hole. Then Luke ties off a major dangling plot thread by explaining what happened to Alec – he’s fine, and Magnus Bane saved his life. No thanks to Clary, of course. Wonder how freaked out Isabelle was when she found out that she’d been abandoned by all her supposed friends?

But enough contemplating the implications of crappy writing – there’s more to spork!

Clary stares at her mom for a bit, thinking about how she just knows that Jocelyn wants to wake up. Why? Well, Luke is on hand to explain why:

“She has everything to get better for, even more than she could know.”
Clary laid her mother’s hand gently back down on the bed. “You mean Jace.”
“Of course I mean Jace,” said Luke. “She’s mourned him for seventeen years. If I could tell her that she no longer needed to mourn-” he broke off.

Yes, because she couldn’t possibly want to get better because of the life she already had. No, it has to be because of Jace. Although, given Clary’s treatment of her mother throughout this book, I can’t blame Jocelyn for not wanting to wake up. And if she knew Jace, she might just drop dead right there.

Also, I get the feeling that CC doesn’t quite grasp how mourning works. Yes, it hurts to loose a loved one, and I can’t imagine how much more so if it’s your child, but eventually you move on. I’m not saying the pain goes away, but you do come to live with it.

Finally, I’m giving it a couple of these

Weird Word Choice: 2

Read Luke’s second line out loud. It’s just awkwardly phrased. Also, the word “mourn” is used twice in as many sentences.

They pull out that bit about people in comas being able to hear what’s being said around them, which I personally kinda doubt, but I get how that can be comforting. Luke’s been telling Jocelyn about how totally awesome Clary is, even though she was pretty useless most of the time and he wasn’t present for almost all of her shenanigans. Maybe that explains why he thinks that – he heard all of it from Clary, who as has already been demonstrated, will wildly skew her recollections of events to make herself seem less pathetic (ex: the vampire indecent).

Well, now that this particular plot line has been sufficiently dealt with, Clary leaves the hospital. I mean, why would she want to spend time with her comatose mother? It’s not like Jocelyn could die at any moment, right?

Of course not. This isn’t a real coma – it’s a Convenient Coma, so we all know she’s eventually going to wake up.

Simon is of course waiting to give Clary a ride, having once again borrowed the van of his friend Eric. And I just realized something – this is almost certainly the same guy from chapter three. You remember – the guy who read the crappy poetry, and who Clary was not just willing, but eager to abandon for anything else? I gotta say, he sounds like a real stand up guy.

Of course Clary’s opinion of him will probably remain unchanged, but what else is new?

They start driving off before Clary decides she wants to go to the Institute, and I become convinced that CC has never ridden in a van, let alone driven one, because she has Simon pull a U-turn without hitting anything. CC, vans are not the same as tiny sports cars. I doubt it’s physically possible to do a U-turn in a van without at least three lanes worth of space.

Oh, wait, the van turns “on two wheels” so that totally explains it. Because that totally wouldn’t make it tip over or anything. Simon, what the hell is wrong with you? It’s not even your car.

Whatever. Turns out that Clary hasn’t been back to the Institute since Valentine escaped, and that’s how she knows about what happened with Alec. Also, now Mama and Papa Lightwood are headed home. Guess they must be taking a boat, because it doesn’t take three days to fly anywhere nowadays.

Also, yet another sign of corruption and incompetence from the highly vaunted Clave – you’d think that, with word of Valentine being alive and free, they might want to lock up two of his closest associates/accomplices. You’d also think that they might have tried to catch him, what with him being right on their fucking doorstep.

Seriously, these people suck at their jobs.

Simon then asks if it was weird talking to Jace, what with learning he’s her brother and all, and we get one last bit of actual humor from Simon.

“Yes?” Clary said, her voice sharply edged. “Since I found out what? That he’s a killer transvestite who molests cats?”
“No wonder that cat of his hates everyone.”

But Clary doesn’t think it’s funny, because she has no soul (remember, she is a ginger), and goes on to insist that it’s totally not weird talking to Jace, because nothing happened between them.

Simon doesn’t believe this, because he was paying attention, just like the readers presumably were. Clary, getting to first base with a guy isn’t “nothing”. Especially when that guy is related to you. Things being weird between you two would be a normal, healthy reaction. Fervently denying that anything is weird is probably not healthy, psychologically speaking.

They reach the Institute, and Simon offers to come in with her, but Clary says she needs to do this alone. Simon’s a bit upset, but he doesn’t say anything. This leads to Clary thinking about how much they’ve both grown up over the previous two weeks. Given Clary’s immature behavior over the course of this book, I can only shudder at how bad she must have been before.

Oh, wait, I don’t have to – her behavior is basically unchanged from chapter one. How exactly has she “grown up”, CC?

Clary then makes a sort-of date with Simon for the following day, and it seems that CC either got over her geek-shyness or someone told her she can’t get away with being vague, because Clary specifically mentions watching Trigun. (She also says “pop some corn” rather than “make popcorn”, but that might be a regional thing. Though it still sounds weird.)

Clary gives Simon a peck on the cheek, which is described as “light as a brown leaf.”

Weird Word Choice: 3

Why that specific color?

And then they start discussing whether Clary bumping into Jace & co at Pandemonium the night before her mom got kidnapped was fate or a coincidence. Personally, I’d go with coincidence, since stuff like this happens all the time. But this is a book, and not a very good one at that, so of course it’s fate.

Clary and Simon go with fate, or that it was at least a “fortuitous occurrence” as Simon puts it. Then Clary suggests that that would make a good band name, and of course Simon says it’s better than a lot of stuff they’ve come up with. I disagree, as naming a band The Fortuitous Occurrences is kinda pretentious. But what do I know – I think Mürder of Cröws would be an awesome name for a metal band (and yes, the umlauts are required).

On an unrelated note, we’re at the end of the book and yet CC still feels the need to shove in yet more padding.

Clary takes waaay too long to go inside and hop in the elevator, and is greeted on the other side by the cat. And then Isabelle pops up and is glad to see Clary. Neither is she mad at Hodge, despite him literally abandoning her brother at the first opportunity, even though she may or may not know that he betrayed them to Valentine (again, Clary assumes one thing and we’re just supposed to accept it as fact because she’s the Sue).

Isabelle more or less says that Alec was saved by a Deus ex Machina, because Magnus Bane showed up for literally no reason at all. Because CC is only okay with killing off random characters we’ve just met and who don’t really matter.

Oh, and Clary and Jace are now famous throughout the supernatural world because of being Valentine’s kids. Because heaven forbid that the Sue and her fuck buddy brother remain anonymous.

CC, the word is ‘infamous’, not ‘in-famous.’ They are not the same thing.

Clary wonders why Isabelle is so happy to see her, because she thought Isabelle didn’t like her. Uh, no, Clary – you didn’t like Isabelle. For no reason. At all. And no, “she’s prettier than me” is not a reason. She, on the other hand, has been perfectly civil to you.

But rather than point this out, Isabelle confirms that she didn’t like Clary, though I don’t know why. Oh, but Isabelle came to her senses once they disappeared, because she was so worried about them. Because she shouldn’t be pissed that Clary literally abandoned her and her dying brother, no.

Also, apparently Jace is just a better person when Clary’s around. Again, I highly doubt it. And if that is true, I can’t imagine how horrible he was before meeting her.

They talk about being friends, and Clary says she prefers Isabelle act like herself, which Isabelle describes as “bitchy”.

Okay, CC? At what point during their interactions has Isabelle been anything less than nice to Clary? And no, anything regarding Simon doesn’t count, because a) Clary made it perfectly clear that she was not in a relationship with Simon, and b) she treated him far worse than Isabele did. At least Isabelle paid attention to him.

But now that it’s been established that Isabelle bears Clary no ill will (because the Author Said So), Isabelle fades into the background so we can move on to the next character on the list, Alec. He’s still in bandages and has to use crutches to walk, but even the sick and infirm must come to make obeisance before the Almighty Sue.

We’re told once again that Magnus Bane showed up for no reason, but this time Clary remembers Hodge chucking a note into the fireplace before he ran, implying that he sent a message to Bane about this. And the important questions like “why didn’t Hodge treat Alec before leaving?” and “why is no one upset that Hodge abandoned them?” are completely ignored. Because they’re inconvenient.

Her purpose served, Isabelle disappears so that Clary and Alec can have a private conversation. Clary actually apologizes for what she said to him back in chapter sixteen, but like every other time she’s done this, the recipient turns around and starts talking about how she totally shouldn’t, because as the Sue she can do no wrong.

Clary tells Alec that, despite how Jace treats and takes advantage of him, Jace does care about Alec. Not enough to be by his side when he’s in the hospital or bring him along on anything less than a life-threatening adventure, though.

And Alec says he knows he didn’t actually kill Abbadon, but the fact that Clary lied to him about it makes her nice. Such a wonderful basis for a friendship – lying to protect the other’s ego. Although, given what I’ve heard about CC during her fandom days…

Then we get this from Alec:

“I’ve got an idea,” said Alec, his mouth turning up at the corners. “Let’s not tell him. I mean, maybe Jace can behead a Du’sien demon from a distance of fifty feet with just a corkscrew and a rubber band, but sometimes I think he doesn’t know much about people.”

First, no shit, Alec. I don’t think Jace understands that other people have things like feelings and opinions, so of course he doesn’t know much about them.

Second, is it so hard to just say “smile”, CC?

Weird Word Choice: 4

Third, what the hell is a Du’sien demon? This is not how you world-build, CC.

But now Alec’s served his purpose, he too departs. Wouldn’t want juggle multiple characters in the same scene now, would we CC? I mean, that’s hard and stuff.

Before he leaves, though, Alec talks about how both Clary and Jace have “the same artistic talent.” Given that he then explains that Jace can’t draw for shit, I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about. Unless he means tacked-on traits that don’t inform them as characters – in all, we’ve seen Jace playing piano once, and we hardly ever actually saw Clary drawing anything when it didn’t “advance” the “plot”.

Clary wanders around the greenhouse for way too long before finding Jace, because apparently I’m supposed to give a damn about the frikkin’ plants. Though I do have to wonder who’s been taking care of them, since I just assumed that was Hodge’s job. Also, I’m really starting to wonder just how big this place is supposed to be.

Jace is sitting in a corner or something, still fiddling with that piece of Valentine’s magic mirror and trying to see something other than the landscape through it. I’d say this idea was stolen from the later Harry Potter books, but I can’t be entirely certain. Was that sliver of the Mirror of Erised in any books except the last one?

Clary/CC also takes this chance to mention Jace’s injuries, making a point to say that his mental/emotional ones are so much worse.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 1

CC, please stop trying to fondle your characters. It’s really creepy.

Clary tells Jace that finding the MacGuffin Cup isn’t their problem any more. I kinda doubt that both it and Valentine are just going to go away though, because A) the Clave/Shadowhunters are completely incompetent, and B) this is only the first book in a series.

And then Clary wonders at how different they look, despite being siblings. I understand the confusion, but I still don’t get it – siblings don’t always look the same, CC. Also, I know exactly why they don’t look alike – they’re just copies of their same-gender parent. Honestly, it makes me wonder why Clary’s a redhead when that’s a recessive trait.

The awkwardness continues, though, because then Clary goes on to mention certain androgenous features Jace has that she wishes she also had, namely his curly eyelashes.

Both Hands, Ma’am: 2

I don’t care that Clary’s supposed to be jealous, that’s how it comes across. And this is not the first time that a guy in this book has been mentioned as having eyelashes that girls would like to have. It’s really creepy. Maybe it’s CC’s version of Meyer’s thing about face touching.

Anyway, Jace goes on about how tempted he was to go with Valentine back to Idris, which gets Clary asking what’s so damn special about the place. Which then sends Jace into this whole bit about how he was so happy back when he lived there, which somehow leads to Clary concluding that he felt sorry for Hodge, hence not telling Isabelle and Alec about what Hodge did. I really don’t follow the logic here, but I haven’t for most of the book, so why should things start making sense now?

Clary goes on to list all the reasons why Valentine was a horrible father, which Jace responds to with a snarky comment.

Rapier Twit: 1

CC, I get concealing pain with humor, but you have to actually show the pain once in a while. Jace never does. He snarks at everyone and everything. He’s not emotionally damaged, he’s just an asshole.

Then Jace goes into this whole speech about how back then he understood his place in the world, and since he left he’s just been lost and confused. My response to this is the same I had during the fifth Harry Potter movie – you’re a teenager. Am I supposed to be surprised by this?

And at least Harry had the excuse of being a hormonal fifteen-year-old. What’s Jace’s excuse?

Blah blah, Jace feels like he belongs with Clary (eww), hence why he stayed. Because now he has a real family, not just those fakes who took him in and raised him and whatnot. I mean, family’s all about blood, right?

Clary then suggests they go visit her mom, because maybe hearing Jace’s voice will cause Jocelyn to wake up. Never mind that they’ve literally never met before, she’ll just instinctively know that he’s her son, because motherhood or some shit.

Jace agrees, but decides that they aren’t going to get a cab, and then CC decides to end the scene there because she knew it’d be a great place for a cut.

Random Scene Break: 1

Well, for some reason, Jace now has one of those magic flying motorcycles, because the first scene with one wasn’t aggravating enough. How did Jace get it? Magnus ex Machina, of course. I guess he’s CC’s favorite plot device.

Jace and Clary snark at each other a bit and then take off in a cloud of purple prose while Clary cops a feel on the guy she has every reason to believe is her brother. The end.

Final Counts:

Weird Word Choice: 110
Rapier Twit: 71
No Shit Sherlock: 48
Plot Hole: 89
Random Scene Break: 24
Both Hands, Ma’am: 32
Bitch: 26

Final Thoughts

As I’m sure has been made abundantly clear, this book sucks. The world-building seems to consist entirely of stuff that CC thinks would be “cool” without any time spent considering how it all fits together let alone make sense, the characters (including the central protagonist) are barely developed beyond one-note stereotypes at best, and the writing itself is often just passable and occasionally needlessly pretentious.

Heck, just look back up at the counts. Remember, three of those were introduced during the sporking, so there are almost certainly more instances of all of those, and even then I didn’t catch everything.

And all those lead me to one conclusion – CC never moved beyond writing fanfiction. Now she obviously has some talent, and if she’d worked on developing that a bit more, she might actually have become a pretty good author. But instead, she found a niche, developed a surprising level of fame (and infamy), and bartered that into a publication deal. CC reached a skill level she was happy with and decided to settle there, rather than push herself to see what she could really do.

Which I suppose is the real problem with this book – it feels like fanfiction. Not to say that CC actually stole anything in particular, but everything in this book feels vaguely familiar, in much the same way Christopher Paolini did in Eragon did. I’m fine with being influenced by other works, but there’s not enough real original content to justify this being published. And what is unique or interesting is ignored or brushed aside.

As a piece of fanfiction, City of Bones is quite good. The problem is that I have a higher standard for published fiction than I do for fiction published on sites like ff.net. The authors there have excuses – lack of a professional editor, posting as they write, etc. CC (and other professional authors) don’t have those excuses. And yet I wouldn’t be surprised to find stuff online that’s more cohesive, more creative, and just better written than this.

So after over a year spent slogging though this mess, I come out the other side less angry and more depressed. There’s a lot of “could” coming off of this book – the world could have been interesting, the story could have been good, CC could have been a good writer.

But “could” is just another way of saying “isn’t”. And the fact that CC has managed to make something of a career writing in this same setting means that in all likelihood she’ll never feel the need to improve. Add the fact that these books are so popular really says something about the expectations people have.

Personally, I’m going to try to view this as a cautionary tale – regardless of how successful I might get, I should never get too comfortable. Because comfort leads to stagnation.

I’m going to take a break from sporking for a while. I’ve been thinking about writing some reviews instead. That should be easier in a lot of ways. I’ll actually get to talk about stuff that I like, for one.

See you around, guys.

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Comment

  1. swenson on 30 October 2013, 20:44 said:

    Luke’s already there, despite having clearly visible bandages.

    Because Clary is the center of the universe, of course.

    the van turns “on two wheels”

    In a VAN?

    “light as a brown leaf.”

    Brown leaves aren’t even all that light-colored…

    And then Isabelle pops up and is glad to see Clary.

    Of course she is.

    Oh, and Clary and Jace are now famous throughout the supernatural world because of being Valentine’s kids.

    Of course they are.

    Because she shouldn’t be pissed that Clary literally abandoned her and her dying brother, no.

    Of course she wouldn’t be.

    Also, apparently Jace is just a better person when Clary’s around.

    Of course he is.

    Shall I go on?

    Third, what the hell is a Du’sien demon? This is not how you world-build, CC.

    Did she just introduce an entirely new part of the world in the epilogue?! I hate this book…

    while Clary cops a feel on the guy she has every reason to believe is her brother.

    Aaaaaand FIN! Drop curtain! Roll credits! All that good stuff!

    I’d say I was surprised the book ended this way, but I’m really, really not.

    Going back to my list of predictions from the last chapter, 3, 4, 5, and 6 were all in evidence here. (that is, JaceXClary4eva, I’ll hate Jace even more, everyone gushes over Clary, and only Clary and Jace matter) So yep, all six of my predictions came true. Thoroughly true. I’d say I was surprised at that too, but again it’d be a lie.

    Overall, the book is certainly better than Maradonia and at least had more plot than Twilight, but it is still pretty bad. I enjoyed the spork, and while I recognize it must’ve been difficult, I’m still glad you did it. :) You’d better recover quickly and do the next book eventually, though. Or else. >:(

  2. Epke on 30 October 2013, 21:04 said:

    Clary’s visiting the hospital where her mom is being kept. Yep, Jocelyn’s still in a coma.

    Anyone else notice the trend of totally absent we’re-like-best-friends-parents in YA literature?

    Luke’s been telling Jocelyn about how totally awesome Clary is, even though she was pretty useless most of the time and he wasn’t present for almost all of her shenanigans. Maybe that explains why he thinks that – he heard all of it from Clary, who as has already been demonstrated, will wildly skew her recollections of events to make herself seem less pathetic (ex: the vampire indecent).

    I imagine Jocelyn, if she can hear him, going “ShutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!” in her head.

    I gotta say, he sounds like a real stand up guy.

    Despite his aching loins, yes. Despite knowing Clary, he’s lending his van to Simon so he can drive Clary Sue around. He’s on par with Simon in decency :o

    Clary says she prefers Isabelle act like herself, which Isabelle describes as “bitchy”.

    Think Isabelle’s dropping a hint here. Hint, hint, Clary!

    I mean, maybe Jace can behead a Du’sien demon from a distance of fifty feet with just a corkscrew and a rubber band, but sometimes I think he doesn’t know much about people.

    That has literally nothing to do with the other. Ability to kill from a distance =/= social skills. WTF, Cassandra?

    Was that sliver of the Mirror of Erised in any books except the last one?

    Wasn’t from the Mirror: it was the two shards that Sirius and James used to communicate in detention. Harry got one half in the fifth book but didn’t use it, and then had it propped as a memento of Sirius in the sixth and saw Aberforth in it in the seventh. But yeah, serious Potter vibes here: lost father-figure in a mirror that can see across vast distances? Mhm.

    she’ll just instinctively know that he’s her son, because motherhood or some shit.

    Bella freaking Swan…

    a cloud of purple prose while Clary cops a feel on the guy she has every reason to believe is her brother. The end.

    <barf!>

    —————
    Well, Apep… all I can say is well done for sticking to the very end! You kept it professional and thoughtful throughout and it was fun to read.

    Overall, the book is certainly better than Maradonia and at least had more plot than Twilight, but it is still pretty bad.

    Wait until you see the love-triangle later on…

  3. Alchemist64 on 31 October 2013, 13:31 said:

    Wait until you see the love-triangle later on…
    Wouldn’t it be a love square if you include Simon?

  4. Potatoman on 31 October 2013, 13:43 said:

    Wouldn’t it be a love square if you include Simon?

    Now that’s an interesting thought. It’s about time our bestselling YA authors were a little more geometrically imaginative.

  5. Apep on 31 October 2013, 13:51 said:

    Admittedly I’ve only gotten through about half of the sequel, but if you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, I’m not sure “love square” would qualify. Maybe more overlapping love triangles.

  6. Epke on 31 October 2013, 16:01 said:

    So a love Star of David ?

  7. Apep on 31 October 2013, 16:12 said:

    More like two triangles that share a side, so two people are involved in both triangles. Although Simon is Jewish…

    Still, I’m only going on an assumption here.

  8. Dashery on 1 November 2013, 01:47 said:

    If you add everyone in, including that girl Jace makes out with for a while, it just turns into a love quadrangle. I mean, you’ve got Clary liking Simon and Spoiler Boy and then there’s still the creepiness with Jace. And then there are the two new girls, one for Jace and one for Simon.
    And we’re left with a giant yarn ball of relationships.

  9. swenson on 1 November 2013, 09:19 said:

    I believe the technical term for that is Love Dodecahedron.

  10. Apep on 1 November 2013, 10:08 said:

    All this tells me is that CC thinks that “high school soap opera romance” crap is more interesting than that whole “save the world” thing. Given how successful she’s been, I can only assume that there are a disturbing amount of people who agree with her.

  11. Shell on 1 November 2013, 11:03 said:

    First time reader of sporkings here. Wow….I read these books before back when I was like 14 and I thought they were okay but looking back at them now I’m just cringing.

    You know what I want? Can we have a spin off series where Simon and Eric and whoever else is in their band get famous and go on tour but it’s really a cover so they can investigate mysteries around the world? I would love that so much more than this steaming pile of crap.

  12. swenson on 1 November 2013, 13:15 said:

    Shell, I know just how you feel… some books seem so great when you’re reading them, but when you step back with some experience later and really look at them, you realize just how awful they really were!

    And I am totally on board with that spinoff series. :)

  13. Aikaterini on 1 November 2013, 18:06 said:

    (Seriously, I feel sorry for Lena Headey being cast in this role – she’s a good actress, and she probably doesn’t get more than ten minutes of screen time)

    At least she actually got a fight scene, which is much more than Book!Jocelyn ever got.

    Yes, because she couldn’t possibly want to get better because of the life she already had. No, it has to be because of Jace.

    And it’s not even because of Clary either. Nope, the worthless creep is more important than her own daughter that she’s raised for fifteen years.

    And if she knew Jace, she might just drop dead right there.

    Agreed.

    Clary leaves the hospital. I mean, why would she want to spend time with her comatose mother?

    Because she’s got the obnoxious brat to attend to, that’s why! Jace is much more important than a comatose mother or a beloved daughter.

    her behavior is basically unchanged from chapter one.

    As is Jace’s, Alec’s, etc. None of these characters grow or change. They’re still the awful people that they were in the beginning of this book.

    Clary – you didn’t like Isabelle. For no reason. At all. And no, “she’s prettier than me” is not a reason.

    Nor is being psychotically jealous that Simon showed interest in Isabelle after waiting for Clary to acknowledge his existence.

    apparently Jace is just a better person when Clary’s around.

    Uh-huh. Yeah, I don’t buy that for a second. Jace is a racist, selfish, and obnoxious sociopath when he meets Clary and he’s a racist, selfish, and obnoxious sociopath at the end of this book. SHOW, DON’T TELL.

    But now that it’s been established that Isabelle bears Clary no ill will

    Without Clary apologizing for her horrible behavior. Because hating girls for being prettier than you is “natural and normal” behavior for teenage girls and should occur without comment or criticism.

    Clary tells Alec that, despite how Jace treats and takes advantage of him, Jace does care about Alec.

    Just like how, despite how Jace treats and takes advantage of you, he still cares about you too, huh, Clary? Just like you still care about Simon?

    Yeah, no. If Clare wants me to believe that her characters care about each other, she can stop making them treat each other so horribly. The excuses that are coming out of Clary’s mouth for Jace’s despicable behavior come eerily close to sounding like Stockholm Syndrome. “Oh, it’s okay if he puts you down and treats you like garbage! He still loves you, deep down!”

    Not enough to be by his side when he’s in the hospital

    So much for parabatai being “closer than brothers.” Also, notice how Jace didn’t stick around by Clary’s side when she was in the hospital either, after he brought her to the Institute. Nope, he just ran off to play some piano. Only in this case, it’s worse because Alec is supposed to be his best friend. Again, why does Alec like this guy? Why does Clary like this guy? Why does anyone like this guy?

    Jace is sitting in a corner or something, still fiddling with that piece of Valentine’s magic mirror and trying to see something other than the landscape through it.

    Yeah, because fiddling with a mirror is way more important than being by your best friend’s side. I mean, it’s not like Jace could still fiddle with the mirror in the hospital wing.

    Clary/CC also takes this chance to mention Jace’s injuries, making a point to say that his mental/emotional ones are so much worse.

    Oh, bite me. He was all set and ready to let Valentine kill Luke and help him slaughter whole groups of people until he had a sudden and convenient change of heart. He gets no sympathy from me.

    Honestly, it makes me wonder why Clary’s a redhead when that’s a recessive trait.

    It’s so that she doesn’t look anything like her father. She’s a clone of her mother because her mother is Good and she looks nothing like Valentine because Valentine is Bad. If she did resemble Valentine in some way, that would probably cause great angst and self-pity because looking like her father would somehow mean that she was like him in nature. And we all know from the last chapter that Clary can’t ever be wrong or receptive to Valentine in the slightest.

    Which then sends Jace into this whole bit about how he was so happy back when he lived there

    Oh, you mean like how happy you were when Valentine killed your pet falcon?

    you have to actually show the pain once in a while. Jace never does. He snarks at everyone and everything. He’s not emotionally damaged, he’s just an asshole.

    <applauds> Quoted for truth.

    Because now he has a real family, not just those fakes who took him in and raised him and whatnot.

    And he wonders why the Lightwoods turn against him in the next book.

    Thank you so much for your sporking! It was a fun read and I’m glad that you made it all the way through. :)

  14. Jade on 17 July 2016, 03:38 said:

    “light as a brown leaf.”

    Brown leaves aren’t even all that light-colored…

    I think we’re talking weight, here.

    ——————-

    I’m so glad I never got into this book when it came out… I’m ashamed to say I got obsessed with Twilight. Though only book 1-half of 2. So much fucking sad!Bella. it got so tiring and it made me put it down. Didn’t snap me out totally but knocked me loose enough that I never got back in and now look back and think “wtf did I almost do to myself?”

    I don’t know what I would have thought of myself, looking back and realizing I read through all this and liked it. I commend you on all of this. Your pain was kind of our entertainment and I’d give you cookies if I could to soothe your poor soul.