The Drunk Fox

Today, my friends, I’ve had a brainwave. Heck, more than a brainwave; a revelation. Even now I find myself at a loss for words, and I’m afraid I have to apologize. Because while you here at Twilight RULES may have become accustomed to the quirky antics of Nate and myself, we will have to prematurely end our spork series. On the other hand, we should all probably be grateful for this turn of events, because otherwise we would be insulting a truly great book, and slandering the name of a great author. Or still be insulting and slandering, in any case.

Kenneth Eng has worked hard and sacrificed much for his craft; who are we to judge and mock him? Rather than ripping apart his efforts, we fellow writers should be encouraging them, holding up the excellent characterization, exotic settings, and riveting plot of his book. Either that, or if we can’t add anything to the mountain of praise the author deserves, we should say nothing at all. After all, isn’t it best to be kind do those suffering the same trials as we do? Let today be the day we change our mindsets toward the positive! Let today be the day we begin to build others up, rather than tearing them down for their differences! Yes, today will be known as the start of a new perspective, a better perspective, one that breathes new life into the literary world! Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate is a masterpiece, and we will no longer allow it to be treated as anything less! On this day, we will change the world!

Erm…sorry about that, I might have gotten a little carried away. Still, the point remains that from now on, things will be different. Sporking of any of Eng’s works will no longer be tolerated, at least by me (I can’t speak for anyone else, of course). Understand that I’m doing so out of respect for a fellow author, one who puts my attempts to shame. Call it what you like, but that is my stance on the subject.

Kenneth; if you’re reading, I would like to apologize too you too, for all the horrible things I said about your book. Even though I’m sure it’s not enough to ease any hurt I may have caused, but you should at least know that I’m sorry. Good luck to you in any future endeavors. Guys and girls here at TR; again, I’m sorry for ending the series early, but I hope you can understand my reasons. Sometime soon, I hope to start something new to make up for it; something more kinder, gentler, and more constructive.

The Head of Nate Winchester

I can no longer hide my feelings. This book is AWESOME. Every sentence of it brings tears of unexpressible joy to mine eyes. What could be cooler than zombies and robots and nukes? Only if it all involved dragons.

…

Wait, there’s dragons in this? Just stop writing everyone. We’ve reached the pinacle of literature, nothing else can ever be written.

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Comment

  1. The Drunk Fox on 1 April 2009, 20:31 said:

    …I have got to remember to open a new page when I write stuff.

  2. The Angel Islington on 1 April 2009, 20:50 said:

    I nevAr thot thAt U gais wuld C the Lite.

  3. Juniper on 1 April 2009, 21:11 said:

    good, your series was rude and mean.

  4. Adam on 2 April 2009, 00:52 said:

    How…sweet and noble of you! I forgive you for cutting off the sporkings, because Eng is just a simple writer trying to make his way through the big world of publishing (and besides, his book has DRAGONS! I mean, they’re DRAGONS!!)

  5. Ari on 2 April 2009, 10:40 said:

    You’ve finally seen the light of god! (And by god, I mean Kenneth!) We should all grovel at his feet.

    Great joke, made me spit out my coke. :o

  6. Pookie on 6 April 2009, 11:08 said:

    April Fools? Pretty please?

  7. Steph on 15 May 2009, 05:08 said:

    Okay, so I thought you were kidding, and then I thought you were being forced to do this by said Eng, and then I thought it was real.

    And now I am confused.

  8. The Drunk Fox on 15 May 2009, 16:30 said:

    Steph: No worries, it was an April Fool’s joke. We’re putting the sporks up on the forums now, though, as per…something.