Disclaimer: this posting contains mature content. Proceed at your own risk.
Hello all. Right, enough of the chit-chat, let’s get down to business. So you, the aspiring historian, are an aspiring historian. Meaning that you want to write history. This is great! or at least okay. Societally acceptable. Legal in Vermont. Whatever.
“How do I write a history, Kristofer?” you might ask me. To this I would reply, “the best way to learn is to observe! The best way to observe is to sit in your room and read things on the internet. This is the way of the samurai.” So, forgetting the last bit, because if you want to be a samurai you should perhaps consult another article which might explicate the ways of the samurai, rather than this article which explicates the way of the historian for the benefit of you, the aspiring historian, the main point to take away from that gem of wisdom is to observe that which can teach you most. Namely, me.
Now, this does not mean that you are to observe me in the creepy, stalkery way, using small cameras in my guitar tuning pegs (yes, I found those, Sly) or in the voyeuristic way (though there are websites for doing so if you are the appropriate age and like intelligent, good-looking men who also write articles to assist you, the aspiring historian), but rather to observe what I do. One is what one does, therefore to observe what one does is to observe one. This is the way of the samurai.
This concludes lesson number one: a good history tome begins with an unnecessarily long and wordy introduction. Thank you.
Also, forgive the title, it was translated from its original Japanese.