[Mood: Hyper]
[Music: Sk8ter Boi]

Hi, I’m Mary Sue, and this is my new blog!

Hm, what to say? I suppose I should tell you about myself! Well, I have flowing, blond hair which shimmers in the moonlight and a face that can calm a storm. I have a seductive hour-glass physique that makes the boys go wild and the girls insanely jealous. My fashion sense is exquisite – I don’t follow trends, I set them. I make a lot of enemies who loathe me out of jealousy, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have my most devoted friends who adore me for much the same reasons.

I’m not perfect. I’m really clumsy, you know! So clumsy, in fact, that I’m a danger to those around me at times! But it’s ok, because everything turns out well in the end: I have the most handsome, courageous and daring boyfriend, Gary Stu, there to save the day! Just as I’m sought after by the guys, he’s sought after by all the girls – but we’re together, and we’re in love. The moment our eyes connected, we both knew we were destined to be together. It’s the thing of fables, and yet, it’s reality.

Another fault of mine is that I’m so beautiful, it depresses me! Honestly! What challenge is there for me, if I’m not competing with other girls on levels of beauty or intelligence? I am the most beautiful and intelligent woman in the country, there’s just no competition!

Oh, I can just see you rolling your eyes now, saying, you missed a fault – you’ve an ego. But I assure you, I am not saying this because of some inflated view of myself – I’m perfect, how could I have one? No, I’m saying this because there is evidence to back up my claims. Did you know, I’ve won every beauty pageant I’ve ever participated in? I stopped entering in them a few years ago, just to give the other girls a chance to shine. I’m a good sport like that, I don’t want them to feel bad because they’re not as breath taking as me!

And my intelligence is unmatched. Why, did you know that I have an IQ of 210? People can’t believe it, they say that something’s wrong, but it’s the truth! I’ve taken hundreds of IQ tests, all with the same result, and I always get 100% in exams and an A-streak on my report card at school.

Oh, you’re probably wondering, “Where did this girl come from?” It’s ok, I’ll tell you, I’ve nothing to hide. You see, I come from a small town – why bother naming it? You’ll never have heard of it, anyway. Just a small community. My parents weren’t the best of couples. My dad was quite abusive, to my mum and myself. He would come home drunk and attack my mother, and when I was 8, he sexually assaulted me! It left me scarred for a while, but then I met Gary Stu, and he helped me get right back up. Together, we managed to bring the police down on my father and save my mother. It turned out that my father was actually quite a high ranking official in a crime syndicate, wanted across the nation! I ended up with a fortune for helping take him down, so me and my mum purchased a lovely cottage in the countryside to retire, ‘till I hit puberty and decided to make a woman of myself, leaving our quaint home. I was reunited with my Love, and, well, the rest is history!

That’s really all there is to me. Nothing special, wouldn’t you agree? I’m engaged to Gary now, we’re getting married this summer! I wanted to start a business myself, but Gary would prefer me to stay at home and raise the kids, and oh, who am I to disagree to such a stud?

See you all later!

—Mary Sue—

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  1. RandomVisitor on 9 October 2008, 12:48 said:

    HAHAHAHAHA!! I loved the whole thing thanks for posting DrAlligator! I liked the part where Mary’s telling people she doesn’t have an ego, it’s just that she has evidence. It made me laugh. Thanks again; that was an amusing way to start the morning.

  2. DrAlligator on 9 October 2008, 12:53 said:

    Thanks. :D Haha, I was worried this article would get buried under all the other content (this is one of the first posted articles on the site) and not get seen by very many.

    Thanks again, and I’m glad I made your day. :D

  3. Snow White Queen on 18 October 2008, 21:58 said:

    nice one :)

    i love how you said (music-s8tr boi) at the beginning. that made me literally laugh out loud.