If you’re here reading this you’re probably wondering how to make REALLY AWESOME ORIGINAL FICTION as you can probably guess by the title! Fortunately I know just how to make really awesome original fiction with almost no effort at all!

First pick a fictional universe you really like. I like Sailor Moon so let’s go with that.

This is the main character of Sailor Moon, uh…Sailor Moon. She’s kind of a ditz but has redeeming qualities such as caring a whole lot about her friends.

Now since you don’t want your original fiction to be too much like your source, turn the main character into yourself with some of the traits of the original main character put on and tweaked a little so no one can tell where you took it from!

IT’S MEEEEE

Changes made:

-Spiral Heart Moon Rod has been turned into Feral Red Crab Rod.
-Sailorboots replaced with cowboy boots.
-Shirt removed.
-Miniskirt replaced with capri pants.
-Hair uglified.
-Elf ears stapled on.
-Wobbly antennae added.

Notice how the little headband thing is still there, but it’s such a small detail no one will notice or care you cribbed it from Sailor Moon. Instead of Sailor Moon let us call her, uh, Soul…Muun. Her civilian name will either be your name or a name you wish you had. Let’s call her Squeezer Of Biceps.

Now that you have your original character, let’s choose a setting!

Sailor Moon takes place in modern-day Tokyo except for the times where they go to some otherworldly cool place but let’s focus on the Tokyo. You don’t want your own story to take place in Tokyo because people would accuse you of stealing! And you’re not stealing, you’re just using Sailor Moon as inspiration. Instead, let us set our story in Osaka, land of funny accents and stand-up comedy and tasty noodles. Or, if you don’t like funny accents, how about Kyoto? That place has like, temples and probably more noodles, you know that’s pretty awesome.

Okay now let’s come up with a premise for the story. What is the premise of Sailor Moon? Well, it’s complicated like most things from Japan, so I’ll simplify it. Sailor Moon about this girl Usagi who’s retarded but finds out via a talking cat that she is really SAILOR MOON a superpowered heroine who was the princess of the moon a long time ago and can kill bad dues who do bad things.

Let’s copy paste here and play some mad libs…

[Story Title] about this [girl/dude] [Name] who’s [negative adjective] but finds out via [plot device character] that [he/she] is really [some kind of superhero, the chosen one, super special awesome, etc] a [cool noun] who was [something really cool] and can [list superpowers].

Okay now let’s apply that to Soul Muun.

Soul Muun about this girl Squeezer Of Biceps who’s boring and stupid but finds out via a hermit crab that she is really SOUL MUUN a superpowered crab-based hero girl who was princess of the Crab Kingdom and can control decapods with her mind.

See? You can’t even hardly tell I took these ideas from Sailor Moon anymore!

And now for the final touch: make a cover with some sort of symbolism on it, be it completely obvious or supposed to be entrenched in subtlety but is actually really stupid.

In this example the crab symbolizes crabs and the hands represent Wall Street.

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Comment

  1. Diamonte on 24 September 2009, 07:22 said:

    Utterly epic, Kitty, as always. =D

  2. Ari on 24 September 2009, 07:36 said:

    Don’t forget substituting normal words for ULTRAAWESOME words from the thesaurus. :D Very awesome, Kitty….kat? I have this urge to call you Kitty-kat. But knowing you, you’d hate that.

  3. swenson on 24 September 2009, 10:11 said:

    Hahaha, awesome as usual, Kitty! I love your articles.

    But you didn’t really mention the Smeyer method too much- aka, write about someone you’re obsessed with for five hundred pages, then suddenly remember you need to have a plot, too, and hastily tack a contrived plot onto the end with lots of deus ex machina and the person you’re obsessed with saving the day at just the right moment.

    And then you the main character and them kissing.

  4. Romantic Vampire Lover on 24 September 2009, 10:41 said:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D ‘Twas great Kitty, thankies much for writing it. ;)

  5. SlyShy on 24 September 2009, 11:29 said:

    I laughed out loud in the library. Thanks for the angry stares.

  6. Virgil on 24 September 2009, 11:39 said:

    Hah. I’m supposed to be doing ‘work’ as well, great work. :D

  7. Danielle on 24 September 2009, 12:16 said:

    Brilliant, Kitty, absolutely brilliant. Don’t forget the prose. Just pick a word that you think makes you sound really smart but actually sounds retarded when used out of context—like “crescendo.” Then use it out of context every chance you get: “His amber eyes rolled back in his head and his manly voice rose in a crescendo of agony as his body-builder body fell to the ground, like a felled tree, and I watched, completely entranced by the horror before me.”

  8. swenson on 24 September 2009, 12:54 said:

    Oooo! You should write one on how to write like Kenneth Eng! All you have to do is use the wrong word in EVERY SINGLE PLACE POSSIBLE, make “clever” references to “smart” things but completely misunderstand them, and be as inconsistent as possible!

  9. swenson on 24 September 2009, 12:56 said:

    Aww, forgot to mention- the subtlty of the cover’s meaning is staggering. I have never seen such a talent in all my days. showers accolades upon Kitty

  10. Talisman on 24 September 2009, 13:17 said:

    Where can I pre-order Soul Muun? My librarian just laughed at me when I asked about it, and I’m look for some original storytelling!

    Awesome.

  11. Puppet on 24 September 2009, 15:48 said:

    Haha, nicely done, Kitty. :D

  12. sansafro187 on 24 September 2009, 18:26 said:

    SOUL MUUN GANBARE

  13. Snow White Queen on 24 September 2009, 19:27 said:

    XD

    Utterly awesome.

  14. Kitty on 24 September 2009, 22:21 said:

    Yeah I kind of degenerated into just mocking Inheritance but you can’t deny how special special snowflake Bella is.

    And I couldn’t focus too much on Bella, because she makes me want to spit and this is my good keyboard.

  15. hmyd.windmere on 24 September 2009, 23:51 said:

    Excellent, Kitty. I adore it.

  16. Reggie on 24 September 2009, 23:55 said:

    In case you were wondering, I really did came.

  17. SMARTALIENQT on 25 September 2009, 14:29 said:

    Also, remember you must always use the word “scintillating” or variations thereof.

    Awesome, job, Kitty! Glad you’re back!

  18. swenson on 25 September 2009, 16:38 said:

    Also, remember you must always use the word “scintillating” or variations thereof.

    Especially as a verb.

  19. Un-Dante'd on 25 September 2009, 17:00 said:

    Good job, Kitty. Always a laugh :)

  20. falconempress on 26 September 2009, 14:28 said:

    The epic…cant handle… brains explode

  21. Inspector Karamazov on 30 September 2009, 15:03 said:

    Hahaha, I want an autographed copy.

  22. Steph the Ordinary Girl who finds out via a tissue box that she's really a pirate princess who can juggle bananas with her feet on 3 October 2009, 07:34 said:

    My brains are about to go the way of falconempress’s, because this truly is that epic :)

  23. Wizard of Toast on 3 October 2009, 11:44 said:

    So what your saying is that my story should go something like, Perfect Princess, about this girl, Lydia Dreyeam, who’s painfuly ugly, finds out via a Unicorn named Charleeta that shes really Princess Ginona Roysay, a decendant of Venus, who can make people fall in love with her using only her mind powers and can use the Fountain of Maygickx to make her self Unhumanly Pretty.

    Of course, its all a metaphore for the recent tusnami and all the trauma it caused.

  24. SMARTALIENQT on 3 October 2009, 21:27 said:

    As I was re-reading this, I suddenly thought, “It’s Sailor Moon! But with crabs!”

    Then I realized my error.

  25. Julia on 19 October 2009, 19:30 said:

    You like Sailor Moon too!!!!!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SAILOR MOON SHE’S MY IDOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Puppet on 19 October 2009, 21:55 said:

    Please don’t spam. D:

  27. Steph on 22 October 2009, 03:11 said:

    Puppet winces.

  28. Kloof on 18 April 2010, 12:38 said:

    XD This is great.