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Eclipse comes out. On the day after my birthday. Woooo. >.< The trailor is possibly the worst out of the three movies. slow clap Bravo, S. Meyer.
OHMIGOSH!!! I SO CAN“T WAITTTT!!!1!!!!11!!!!1ELEVEN!!!!
I don’t actaully remember what happened in Eclipse, but I really don’t remember any proposing in a field…
Combine the following: 2-3 cheesy love-scenes, a splash of dun dun dun here and there, and the heartwretching choice between a possessive, stalking and generally creepy guy that looks like he has been on the heavy stuff for quite some time, and a caring, shirtless…. well, the (somewhat) normal guy.
And just like New Moon, the trailer can pretty much sum up the whole the movie.
I only got halfway through Eclipse before I gave up. From what I can remember it was just Bella going back and forth between Jacob and Edward, over and over.
Guys. There’s the tent scene. I’m going to watch Eclipse solely for the tent scene. And if it’s not in there, then I’m going to be very, very displeased.
Oh, the one where Jacob “cuddles up” next to Bella? snerk Heheheheh, that was possibly the most awkward scene in the whole series saga.
But it was several pages long, because Jacob and Edward had a heart-to-heart talk while Bella was “sleeping”. It was my favourite part in the whole series. sniff So wonderfully, horrifically, disastrously awful.
IF Bella slept with Edward she would probably freeze to death, if she slept with Jacob she would probably overheat. Meyer described Edward as having “Ice cold skin” and Jacob as having a “high temperature” all the time. The solution? They all sleep together, that way Bella can have Jacob and Edward, and Jacob and Edward can have Bella. Everybody wins.
Oh, Puppet, how much I love your logic :D
The solution? They all sleep together, that way Bella can have Jacob and Edward, and Jacob and Edward can have Bella. Everybody wins.
...Bwahahahahahahahaha!! I am reminded of the lines… Wait, where are they… FOUND THEM!
I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive. If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.
Ooh, ooh, and:
I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? SO messed up. So tempting.
Jacob, you are such a PERV!
See, I’d have no problem with this arrangement, IF THEY ACTUALLY ASKED BELLA.
Jeez, way to respect women, hmm? We are not rental movies!
Best line ever: I AM NOT A RENTAL MOVIE!
Thank you, WiseWillow. :D
You’re welcome? xD
IF Bella slept with Edward she would probably freeze to death, if she slept with Jacob she would probably overheat. Meyer described Edward as having “Ice cold skin” and Jacob as having a “high temperature” all the time. The solution? They all sleep together, that way Bella can have Jacob and Edward, and Jacob and Edward can have Bella. Everybody wins.
OR Bella could sleep alone with an electric blanket until she gets married, which is what MOST girls who are actually COMMITTED to ABSTINENCE do. :P
Yet another option: sleeping in sweats, which keep you very warm indeed.
My fox terrier likes to sleep on my head when I’m at home. Not especially warm, but the she sometimes manages to end up by my side instead (thank goodness). Or jammies. Warm fuzzy jammies. That’ll keep you warm, if you have the two brain cells necessary to PACK WARM CLOTHES FOR YOUR CAMPING TRIP.
But this is Bella, so of course not.
Now I have the mental image of Bella in a onesie. O.o
Man, I need a watching party for this. Who’s up for one?
Guys. There’s the tent scene. I’m going to watch Eclipse solely for the tent scene. And if it’s not in there, then I’m going to be very, very displeased.
Oh, lolz ensue.
The tent scene?
I don’t know much about Eclipse.
Edward and Jacob decide to spirit Bella away while the vampires and werewolves fight evul Victoria, so they take her into the mountains and it snows and Bella is insufficiently bundled and freezing and there’s a possibility of frostbite or something, so Edward asks Jacob and all his 108-degree hotness to get in the sleeping bag with her. It’s all for the good of Bella, guys!
Then Edward and Jacob have a heart-to-heart talk while Bella’s “sleeping”. It was terrifically funny.
There’s always going to be 1 scene in every movie that will make it all worth watching. Twilight had baseball, New Moon had DUUUUUUUURRRRR, Eclipse has the tent scene and Breaking dawn will have the demon spawn birth scene followed by the pedophilia scene.
XD
WOO FOR AWESOME SCENES OF IDIOCY!
Demon spawn?
That I will see.
And I’m thinking of reading Twilight to see if it’s that bad.
....
it looks like we will have a Breaking Dawn movie after all.
...
And I’m thinking of reading Twilight to see if it’s that bad.
I bought it for my mother as a joke, since she was interested in the hype around it and saw it as some sort of social observation. Luckily, she didn’t turn into a Twimom, so at least I’m safe at home ;P
Demon spawn?
That I will see.
If you insist.
Is dead. Of laughter.
I have no words.
Other than these:
EPIC. LULZ.
Ahhh…..if only death were permanent in the Twilight series. That passage would’ve made a great climax for the novel, followed by….
Oh god. I love you Danielle.
That’s it! I’m pretending that’s what really happened. ^^ It is a most satisfying ending.
@Danielle – that is officially canon now.
Damn, great job!
Holy crap. I skimmed and I think I’m going to have nightmares.
...........
One look at the Twilight website and I’m definitely not reading Twilight.
As for the demon spawn and Bella’s funeral, are they seriously part of the book? I was expecting something better than that.
But the demon spawn birth…. eiwck. Not nice.
Rest assured that I won’t touch Twilight books.
Now, just imagine that scene in a live action movie…
Oh god, that’d be awful.
Danielle… your ending there is just great, excellent! fantastic!
But… I feel like something’s missing…
Ah that’s better.
Nate, that is epic. Absolutely epic.
I can just imagine Kristin Stewart’s emotionless take on that scene as Pattinson stands there, looking like he hasn’t relieved himself in years.
And Taylor Lautner trying to make the scene more bearable by taking his shirt off….
XD
Nate, that is epic. Absolutely epic.
Hey, you inspired me. =)
(though with everything Charlie has been in surely we can find him putting on sunglasses from somewhere)
I dunno, I think Kristen Stewart has a pretty expressive face on the Eclipse poster:
I think Edward looks pretty hot too — What’s up with his hair?!
She looks like a barbie doll, the skin is just one bland white color and it looks like the hair isn’t connected to the head. So plastic, even the pose is rigid and plastic.
Bella may suck but Kristen is hot.
That’s probably the worst thing about watching these movies. You can see real talent just bubbling under the surface from almost everyone involved but they just do not have much to work with…
(exception: the 3 evil vamps from movie 1, the actors (and actress) did not seem to have any skill at all)
She looks like a barbie doll, the skin is just one bland white color and it looks like the hair isn’t connected to the head. So plastic, even the pose is rigid and plastic.
So you’re saying she’s a… barbie girl?
Apparently I’m the only girl ever who thinks Kristen Stewart is gorgeous.
Maybe it’s cause I’m a girl, but I just don’t think Kristen Stewart is that hot. Not when there’s so many other hotter people out there. Like Summer Glau.
Dia’s post has my endorsement. :D
Summer Glau, plays a robot, far more beautiful then Kristen Stewart, who also happens to play a robot.
DO NOT WANT
:D I’m perfectly straight, but Summer Glau is so purdy.
I dunno, whilst Summer Glau has the wonderful kookiness, she’s too darn skinny. Touch her and you’d get a papercut.
Maybe it’s cause I’m a girl, but I just don’t think Kristen Stewart is that hot. Not when there’s so many other hotter people out there.
Well of course there’s hotter people (heck, Ashley Greene from the same movie) but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the beauty she does have.
(and that does apply to Imp girls as well)
Ohmygosh, yes. I would watch Twilight again for Ashley Greene, she is so hawt as Alice.
Come on over Jeni, I have it set so we can switch between Rifftrax mode or regular audio, whichever you prefer.
Hahahah, I do enjoy them, but I confess, I’m watching Masterchef right now. :3
Edit: will of course watch later, tab is open and waiting.
Don’t forget best of Eragon.
Ooh, Eragon. I don’t think I’ve seen that one.
Also, contest? Tell me more!
(though with everything Charlie has been in surely we can find him putting on sunglasses from somewhere)
He looks like such a badass on those imdb pictures. How the hell did he find himself in this role?
He looks like such a badass on those imdb pictures. How the hell did he find himself in this role?
Because Billy Burke is so awesome and noble, he took it upon himself to try and save what he could from the trainwreck.
God bless you Billy!
[Impishidea Martyr]
Ohmygosh, yes. I would watch Twilight again for Ashley Greene, she is so hawt as Alice.
On a slightly different note, you gotta admit that Bella’s friend Jessica was pretty cute.
At least that actress has finally got a role in something good (yes, I’m not including Up in the Air).
A soothing chorus of “You can’t always get what you want”, please. 2 minutes of my life I could have been staring at pretty boys with other pretty boys. Lost.
@Faux
?
About the song or the two minutes of missing pretty boys? Better not to ask with the latter.
Any context really. heck, whichever you were replying to.
I was replying to the trailer itself where she was all JACOB EDWARD OMG MARRIAGE AAAARRRR.
She would have been cooler if she went arrrrrr, actually. Hm.
Sadly, she couldn’t have done that without being sued by pirates under copyright laws. Apparently, Bella values herself over a good fun dose of irony.
RiffTrax to the rescue!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzwiwV0EfVk
I am sorry, but apparently Nate posted the link earlier. I must have missed that in the discussion somehow. I apologize, I am a horribly distracted person these days.
You don’t need to keep linking to Nagasaki Moon, Nate. Every time you write a new chapter and post it the thread will get bumped. 8P
You haven’t known enough writers Puppet if you don’t know how shameless they are in plugs. ;-)
(plus it was a chance to make myself a punchline)
Hahaha, sad but true, Nate.
Plus, Nate’s obsessive linking is practically an II meme by now. I’d be disappointed if he didn’t keep linking to it.
What other II memes do we have now?
Puppet greets new people with you won’t be leaving, never call Spanman Spanny…any others?
Edit: Oh, and Sansafro is Manly Tm, and Helven punches people. And No One asks questions.
You try too hard.
I was disappointed that random insertions of “grandparental” never attained memehood.
“If you’re not trying too hard, you’re not on the II board.”
Willow tries too hard at trying too hard. 8P
Sorry puppet, I just imagined Willow playing a part in a sitcom where she works really hard at trying to relax.
I could get 30 min of laughter out of that.
Sorry puppet, I just imagined Willow playing a part in a sitcom where she works really hard at trying to relax.
...
Oh, God, I can see it in my head.
At one level, I want to attain meme status, but on the other hand I don’t.
How about “Taku Is Undecided”? Seems to be a pretty common theme. Or not. I’m not entirely certain.
Now Taku is trying too hard :P
Am I? Maybe I am. But then again, maybe trying too hard is what makes a meme a meme.
Perhaps.
Willow, we never did get the Ceiling River meme to take off here. Tsk tsk.
I am disappoint.
So, ‘tis decided. We require more Vespene memes.
And No One asks questions
I laughed at that. Then I wondered exactly whether it’s meant to be offensive or complimentary.
... is it a good thing?
Helven punches people.
I laughed.
Why?
Because even though I’m relatively quiet here, I’m crazy loud and obnoxious everywhere else XD
Helven is arska?
Yup.
sheepish grin
Then I wondered exactly whether it’s meant to be offensive or complimentary.
A bit of both.
helvenguurl, why don’t you just change ‘arska’ to ‘helven’? It’s still pretty easy to type.
What happened to Elanor’s spiel as a meme?