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    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeJan 29th 2010
     

    My brother is in debate, and one event they have is called Humorous Interpretation, or HI. He’s done very well with DIs (Dramatic Interps) and has decided to branch out and do the most unwittingly lulz-worthy book of all: Twilight.

    He checked out the book (or had our sister do it, I’m not sure) from the school library and has been wading through it. But since he and I actually happen to get along and I care about the number of brain cells he has, would anyone who’s read the entire book mind pointing out some page numbers for really good failrific quotes? Dialogue is preferred, and I think he’s especially in need of Edward quotes.

    So, if you care about my brother’s sanity, help?

  1.  

    The whole “this is the skin of a killer” said as he sparkles fruitastically is pretty lulzy, but it requires relating the context.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeJan 29th 2010
     

    The whole “this is the skin of a killer” said as he sparkles fruitastically is pretty lulzy, but it requires relating the context.

    What page is it on? I have the book in front of me; maybe he could give a bit of Bella’s narrative from that scene then work his magic with the rest.

  2.  

    I don’t remember the page number since I don’t own the book. It’s whenever he takes her into the woods though after she figures it out, IIRC.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeJan 29th 2010
     

    Found it! And man, is it lulzy! I’ll have to mark this page for him. He’ll have a field day with “I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I?”

  3.  

    Oh, glad you found it. Was gonna have to download a PDF otherwise.

  4.  

    What about when he licks her tears? That was pretty hilarious. Can’t remember where it was, though…

    Or if he was really masochistic, he could read that sex-marriage-negotiation bit in Eclipse which takes place in Edward’s room on a king-sized bed with bronze (!) comforter. cringe

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeJan 29th 2010
     

    Or if he was really masochistic, he could read that sex-marriage-negotiation bit in Eclipse which takes place in Edward’s room on a king-sized bed with bronze (!) comforter.

    If anyone is that masochistic, I would like to meet them. My family’s insurance provides for pretty good therapy, and I’d be happy to give them some.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeJan 29th 2010
     

    On this Twilight quote:

    “He was grinning that playful smirk again.”

    I have one thing to say…..

    YOU CAN’T GRIN A SMIRK!!!

    Gah. Twilight makes the copy editor in me want to vomit all over the floor SMeyer cleaned this morning because she’s such a perfect little housewife.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2010
     

    What’s a smirk suppose to look like? What’s the differences between a leer and a smirk?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJan 30th 2010 edited
     

    A smirk is this guy:


    Look at him smirking there, mister big shot.

    Like there’s a joke that only he understands, and it’s at your expense.

    A leer is this guy:

    Basically, your “pre-rape face”, and one only leers whern there is an implied sexual intention.

    And yes, you cannot “grin a smirk”, because a grin is completely different:

    Either with or without the mouth open. If the mouth is open and teeth visible, the teeth must be closed or touching and the lips retracted rather than forward, or it becomes a snarl or a sign of intimidation:


    Grr.

    In many ways, human facial expressions and Chimpanzee facial expressions are adorably similar.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeFeb 2nd 2010
     

    Huh. Thanks. Very helpful! And it’s cool that you made it funny.

  5.  

    In many ways, human facial expressions and Chimpanzee facial expressions are adorably similar.

    Have you seen that thing that compares many of George Bush’s facial expressions to chimpanzees?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 2nd 2010
     

    not yet, no. Link please?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeFeb 2nd 2010 edited
     
  6.  

    Heheheheh. :D

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeFeb 3rd 2010
     

    This is actually pretty cool. Lotsa fun viewing that link!

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 3rd 2010
     

    nice.

  7.  

    Giggle. Bush the Chimp.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 3rd 2010
     

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeFeb 4th 2010
     

    LOL

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 4th 2010 edited
     

    Aaaaaannnnnnd, since we’ve apparently decided to talk about monkeys (not that I’m complaining, mind you).....

    More monkeys!
  8.  

    Derailed thread is derailed.

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2010
     

    I call wonkaing.

  9.  

    I still do not know what that means.

    /is site noob.

    •  
      CommentAuthorKyllorac
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2010
     

    One of the threads (I forget which) was massively derailed by a conversation about Willy Wonka being creepy and which version was creepier: Depp!Wonka or Wilder!Wonka.

    Overall, Depp!Wonka was consistently disturbing, but Wilder!Wonka had the most creepiest “I am staring into your soul and it shall be mine” stares that really, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that Willy Wonka is creepy. Period.

    And thus, the term Wonkaing in reference to massive thread derailing came about.

    •  
      CommentAuthorsansafro187
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2010 edited
     

    SWQ, I am disappoint.

    And hai faive to Kyllorac for remembering that.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2010
     

    It’s not derailed! The conversation is clearly focused on monkeys!

    .....okay, it’s derailed.

  10.  

    @ Kyllorac: Oh right. It was such a long time ago and I can barely remember what happened yesterday that one can’t really blame me for forgetting.

    @ sansafro: weeps in shame

  11.  

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

  12.  

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010 edited
     

  13.  

  14.  

  15.  

  16.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

  17.  

  18.  

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010 edited
     

    Both Wonkas, along with the rest of their films, were simply too disturbing for me to watch all the way through.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTalisman
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2010
     

  19.  

    I call wonkaing. Again.

  20.  

    My fault, sorry.

    puts on penitent face

    Anyway, I would contribute a Twilight fail quote to make up for it, but I am lacking a copy of the book.

  21.  

    Lol. You are forgiven. I just had to say that.

    On topic: Danielle, you can’t go past chapter thirteen for failquotes.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     

    I dare you to not laugh, even a little.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     

    Too late… xD

  22.  

    Have to try a lot harder than that to get me laughing.

    I suppose that people haven’t seen this yet.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     

    Marquis, that’s just so WRONG. And yet impeccably timed.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     

    Saw that before. :D Hilarious.

  23.  

    Post that before the comic, Taku. It’s cheating if I read it while I’m already laughing.

  24.  

    Wow. That is very, very wrong. And very well timed. Oh my.

    • CommentAuthorDanielle
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2010
     

    On topic: Danielle, you can’t go past chapter thirteen for failquotes.

    I don’t know about that. My brother hinted at a little Edward/James throughout the entire interp, then made James….well, dance during the dance studio scene, since he was taping it. Then he cut the word “hunting” from “After seeing this video, Edward won’t be able to resist hunting me” so it became “After seeing this video, Edward won’t be able to resist me.”

    Wow. That is very, very wrong. And very well timed. Oh my.

    I have no words, only laughter.

  25.  

    Taku’s comic made me snigger.

  26.  

    lol. Shouldn’t this stuff just go in the general twilight thread, though?