My brother is in debate, and one event they have is called Humorous Interpretation, or HI. He’s done very well with DIs (Dramatic Interps) and has decided to branch out and do the most unwittingly lulz-worthy book of all: Twilight.

He checked out the book (or had our sister do it, I’m not sure) from the school library and has been wading through it. But since he and I actually happen to get along and I care about the number of brain cells he has, would anyone who’s read the entire book mind pointing out some page numbers for really good failrific quotes? Dialogue is preferred, and I think he’s especially in need of Edward quotes.

So, if you care about my brother’s sanity, help?

The whole “this is the skin of a killer” said as he sparkles fruitastically is pretty lulzy, but it requires relating the context.

What page is it on? I have the book in front of me; maybe he could give a bit of Bella’s narrative from that scene then work his magic with the rest.

Found it! And man, is it lulzy! I’ll have to mark this page for him. He’ll have a field day with “I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I?”

What about when he licks her tears? That was pretty hilarious. Can’t remember where it was, though…

Or if he was really masochistic, he could read that sex-marriage-negotiation bit in Eclipse which takes place in Edward’s room on a king-sized bed with bronze (!) comforter. cringe

On this Twilight quote:

“He was grinning that playful smirk again.”

I have one thing to say…..

YOU CAN’T GRIN A SMIRK!!!

Gah. Twilight makes the copy editor in me want to vomit all over the floor SMeyer cleaned this morning because she’s such a perfect little housewife.

A smirk is this guy:

^{Look at him smirking there, mister big shot.}

Like there’s a joke that only he understands, and it’s at your expense.

A leer is this guy:

Basically, your “pre-rape face”, and one only leers whern there is an implied sexual intention.

And yes, you cannot “grin a smirk”, because a grin is completely different:

Either with or without the mouth open. If the mouth is open and teeth visible, the teeth must be closed or touching and the lips retracted rather than forward, or it becomes a snarl or a sign of intimidation:

^Grr.

In many ways, human facial expressions and Chimpanzee facial expressions are adorably similar.

In many ways, human facial expressions and Chimpanzee facial expressions are adorably similar.

Have you seen that thing that compares many of George Bush’s facial expressions to chimpanzees?

http://primepuzzle.com/leeslightest/bushvschimp.html

This is actually pretty cool. Lotsa fun viewing that link!

Giggle. Bush the Chimp.

LOL

Derailed thread is derailed.

I still do not know what that means.

/is site noob.

SWQ, I am disappoint.

And hai faive to Kyllorac for remembering that.

@ Kyllorac: Oh right. It was such a long time ago and I can barely remember what happened yesterday that one can’t really blame me for forgetting.

@ sansafro: weeps in shame

My fault, sorry.

puts on penitent face

Anyway, I would contribute a Twilight fail quote to make up for it, but I am lacking a copy of the book.

I dare you to not laugh, even a little.

Have to try a lot harder than that to get me laughing.

I suppose that people haven’t seen this yet.

Saw that before. :D Hilarious.

Wow. That is very, very wrong. And very well timed. Oh my.

Taku’s comic made me snigger.