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  1.  

    Click here for a magical vision of the horrors to come

    Sorry if this has already been posted.

  2.  
    AKK OMG THANK YOU!! (sorry, that was my inner fangirl)
  3.  
    My link failed! *cry*

    Okay, here is the link to enter into your browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ9afRgToxE&feature=topvideos


    That wolf is really cheap. He makes The Lion King look like a live action movie.
  4.  
    what happened to the link? It started working....lol, you're welcome. I stumbled across it by chance. Or by fate.....dark, bloody-clawed fate.
    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Commentary:

    0:15: “It’s my birthday.” Could you try sounding happy about that?

    0:43: A paper cut? Good god girl, is there anything you can do right?

    1:34: Werewolves are retarded. That’s all.

  5.  

    I like how Ed’s first response to save Bella is to Smash her against a wall :D

  6.  
    Alright, a few comments. Firstly, the music ANNOYS ME. Second, Sly, I agree with you on all that. Third, Taylor Lautner's hot. Fourth, her eyebrows when she asks for a kiss are FREAKY. Fifth, the wolf looked like a freaking WOLVERINE. Sixth, Ed is a wimp. Seventh, Ed need to get his facial expressions in check; no one EVER looks that wrinkly. Hm.... That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure more will come to me.
  7.  
    The wolf. Cheap, I agree. I have to say, the acting looked okay, but the whole set and everything just looked fake. When I hit 1:26, it was like, "ok, random topless guy. Oh, wait." That had nothing to do with anything, but it sounded funny, so I'll leave it in.
  8.  
    The wrinkles caught me, too. It looked... odd, didn't it?
    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I guess Jacob really did put on a lot of muscle for that role. He doesn’t look anything like he used to.

  9.  
    I haven't seen Twilight, so I don't know.
  10.  
    Neither have I, first my friends ditched me, and then my sister did. Aren't I loved?
  11.  
    Thanks, Sly.

    I'm starting to notice a trend with Bella's face. It never changes. Also, why was she sleeping in the woods? Did she really meet Laurent?
  12.  
    She sleeps in the wood because she is so de-pressed. (referrance to twilight the musical, sorry) When Eddy leaves her, she cries herself to sleep in the woods. In the book, I think Sam saves her. And yes, Bella's face never changes.
    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I’m starting to notice a trend with Bella’s face. It never changes.

    Because Kristin Stewart is a terrible actress. She seems to think saying everything in that annoying breathy voice of hers make her character deep, too. But then, I’m biased.

  13.  
    Hay b fare! Se did n ibrow rayse! gosh u guys r such h8rs if u dnt lyk it dnt wach it gosh!
    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    It’s not like I hate everyone in the movies and think they are bad actors. I think whoever it is that plays Alice does a decent job. Oddly enough, the person who plays Alice was a model and not an actress, but she’s better than Kristin Stewart.

  14.  
    Weird. I was looking at my dvd collection today, and I actually have something with Kristen Stewart in it. I was like, WOAH. It's called Catch That Kid and I haven't seen it in ages, but I suspect I'd still love it, though. She wasn't bad in that movie. Not stellar, but not bad. I so want the soundtrack to it, though.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Oh shucks, that was disappointing. The Cullens’ acting was… just no. The only up was shirtless Taylor Lautner. >> And then he turned into a fake-looking wolf. Sigh.

  15.  
    It just goes to show, all the good guys are fakes.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I can’t believe I promised to go watch this at midnight. I hope I’ll get some laughs out of it.

  16.  
    I was going to make fun of you for that, but then I realised that that would mean you'd have every right to laugh at me for some of the Twilight-related stuff I get up to.
  17.  
    I should not have said that.
    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I can’t believe I promised to go watch this at midnight. I hope I’ll get some laughs out of it.

    I can’t believe I’m probably going to end up doing the same, and I haven’t even promised anyone.

  18.  
    You two deserve each other.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009 edited
     

    @Steph: MUAHAHA I have you now!

    ...not really. I have absolutely no room to talk.

  19.  
    Why? Are you suffocated by all your New Moon T-shirts and your Edward Cullen posters?
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    No. I’m just looking forward to seeing some Native American pecs. D:

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I should not have said that.

  20.  
    Lol at least now we can be embarrassed together. I don't... um...really blame you for saying that, however.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    For my own sake I hope New Moon comes out on a Tuesday.

  21.  
    I am splitting my sides right now. Worried your squee will spill over the sides and make a nasty mess on the floor?

    props to anyone who gets the reference.
    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Shhh.

  22.  

    The Basil Brush show.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Never heard of it. :(

    Anyway, I just watched the trailer again and noticed this time Jacob’s little shreddy clothing flying away when he turned into a wolf. I foresee a lot of awkward parts to this film.

  23.  

    Yeah.

    Charlie: No, Bella, I trust you with Jacob. I’ll come meet you at the beach in an hour.
    one hour later, during which Jacob gets angry and phases uncontrollably
    Charlie: Jacob, what is the meaning of this?
    AU Jacob: No, no, she came onto me, I swear!

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Teehee. New Moon just got ten times funnier.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Basil Brush! I was watching that on CBBC channel this morning!

    Surely there’s no way a wolf could beat a Meyerpire, unbalanced as they are? Unless Meyerwolves are similarly overpowered…

  24.  

    But in your case, when the shirtless parts hit, will you choose to contain the squee and laugh or just let it dribble everywhere without seeing the humour because it’s Taylor Launtner. I can’t even spell his name.

    I think I’m going to have to skip seeing New Moon just so I can preserve some innocence.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Heck no!

    I’ll probably laugh and ignore the squee. I have to retain some dignity, sheesh.

  25.  

    I know the feeling. We have people who look up to us…

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Or rather, people who look down on us. But we would rather they had no more reasons to look even further down on us. Yep.

  26.  

    In a way, yes.

    Let me know how it goes. And whether you had to surreptitiously wipe off some of the squee from some poor unsuspecting lady’s hair.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Oh dear. D:

    Anyway. I have several more months before that ordeal. Whew.

  27.  

    During which time maybe you’ll discover non-squee pills or something :)

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Hey, that would be cool. :D

  28.  

    @ spanman: in your case, that might mean sleeping pills

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Oh, that’s cruel.

  29.  

    Sorry :P. I’m getting really tired. If you look back, you can see that I’ve been on the forums for a while.4 or 6 hours or something.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Go to bed. XD

  30.  

    @Spanman. Okazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Awesome. Mother-tastic mission accomplished.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Sleeping is good.

  31.  

    I hate you.

  32.  
    Um, how does a paper cut produce that much blood?
    My paper cuts hardly ever bleed at all. And I worked in an office over break, so I got a LOT of paper cuts.
  33.  
    I think she breaks a plate when she gets thrown aside.
  34.  
    I hope Evil Iguana Production spoofs this.

    PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  35.  
    Yeah. From Twilight:

    "How long have you been 16?"
    "Just a really really long time..."
    • CommentAuthorLord Snow
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    That was such fail. That wolf looked terrible. And why would Edward need to fling Bella across the room when he could have just tackled Jasper, like he did eventually anyway?

    •  
      CommentAuthorRand
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     
    The movie poster is so not cool right now. Its got Jacob standing, shunting Edward out, protectively facing Bella; Bella with the same expression; Ed looks like he couldn't care less.

    (I will add the link when I can but its on IMDB right now).
    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Well, Edward and the CG wolf suck, but Taylor Lautner is still hot… and so I will find myself watching a horrible movie with dreadful acting, a terrible plot, fake-looking CG wolves, and a protagonist I couldn’t care less about purely to see a bunch of hot shirtless Native American guys. minor squee!

  36.  
    I totally understand this desire.
  37.  

    So, this may not be the right time for this, but since everyone goes crazy when she gets a little papercut, what happens when it’s Bella’s “time of the month”?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    ...I never thought of that… maybe she’s on BC.

  38.  
    I heard somewhere that SM said that it was "dead blood' so it didn't attract the vampires...
    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    eyebrow raise

    Because, you know, there’s a functional difference between that kind and ordinary blood… NOT. Smeyer fails biology again.

    •  
      CommentAuthorArtimaeus
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    Am I the only person who thought of Dr. Horrible when Edward shoved Bella away from Jasper? (“did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?”) Please say no.

    In any case, at least they have some CG effects in this one. Compared to Twilight, this film’s effects are downright masterful.

    So, this may not be the right time for this, but since everyone goes crazy when she gets a little papercut, what happens when it’s Bella’s “time of the month”?

    I think the official explanation has something to do with menstrual blood being “dead blood” (don’t ask me how that works).

    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009
     

    I think the official explanation has something to do with menstrual blood being “dead blood” (don’t ask me how that works).

    There is a lot of nasty gunk in there besides blood, but that still sounds like a lousy excuse. The author thinking of it after the fact.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 1st 2009 edited
     

    Which I find surprising, seeing as she’s female…

  39.  
    Okay,that was cheesy of the dangerous z kind.Thank god for Transformers and GI Joe coming out to keep a satisfied mind for the popcorn movie entitled.The wolf was indeed fake looking,and could have at least been the humanoid wolves of others.
  40.  
    Bella in the fetal position kind of made me raise my eyebrows incredulously. As for Jacob-- wow, muscle! Must have taken him forever to bulk up! As for the wolf, why couldn't they have used a real one? They do it in movies all the time, or so I thought. (I adore wolves. They're magnificent creatures.)
  41.  
    I liked the wolves in LOTR. Then again, I liekd everything in LOTR. ;)
  42.  

    Still haven’t seen that. I’m culturally illiterate.

  43.  

    nods head in agreement and then backs away quickly to avoid a slap

  44.  

    swung, missed, cried

    •  
      CommentAuthorOverlordDan
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009 edited
     

    I wonder if the abs are CGI, like in 300 or Ghostrider. I have no point of reference, it just seems that everyone is surprised at how beefy this guy is.

    please don’t hit me D:

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Was it a critical miss?

    • CommentAuthorAri
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    I love it when Jasper tries to faceglomp Bella during the party. He doesn’t look very scary, just amusing and sort of like a fanboy. “OMG KRISTEN STEWARRT CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAAAAAPH???”

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    That’s totally it, Ari…

    @OLD- meh, I doubt it, considering if it was it’d be the same studio that did the wolf…

    Which, you know, might not be so bad once it’s actually in the movie. I watch Doctor Who, so I’m used to rotten special effects, anyway.

  45.  

    YES!!!! my nickname for OverlordDan has penetrated into your consciousness! Success!!!

    Or wait… did he have that nickname before and I just never noticed?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Nah, I borrowed it from you. It’s a conspiracy!

  46.  

    Lol, I am revolutionising II, one nickname at a time. I think I did CB’s as well. ‘Slushie’ hasn’t caught on yet, though, which is probably just as well…

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Who’s Slushie? And I’ll forestall your naming by giving myself a name… call me Swen.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Slushie = SlyShy, no?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     
    @OLD: I can't believe I know this, but I read somewhere that Taylor Lautner is really into martial arts and worked really hard to beef up enough so they wouldn't cast someone else as Jacob in New Moon. XD

    Anyway, I watched it again and every time it just gets funnier. ^^
  47.  

    I haven’t seen Twilight, so I don’t know.

    Neither have I, first my friends ditched me, and then my sister did. Aren’t I loved?

    Because I’m home sick (and incredibly bored due to WoW undergoing maintenance) I think I’ll save you the trouble by posting the screencaps Jet selected along with her funny captions.


    “Dude, I’m so hot I turn myself on.”


    Bob the Builder finally loses it.


    “C’mon, Bella, jump for the snack!”


    Why dois your sword so drip with blood, Edward, Edward/Why dois your sword so drip with blood, And why so glad, my son?


    Sorry, Mike, but the camera’s not interested in you either. Tough break.


    “Yeah, so… you looking forward to doing those sex scenes in Breaking Dawn or what?”


    “‘Legends of the Slapping Beaver’? I just know that’s gonna be furry porn.”


    The twihards deny their secret ritual slaughter of haters, but everyone knows it’s true.


    In a moment of frustration, Edward tries pinching Bella on the arse to see if she’ll change her expression.


    “This is the skin of a fab-u-lous killer!”


    “For the last time, the mouse is gone! Now will you get out of that tree already?”


    “Can you read my mind? Oh, right, you can’t. Psych!”


    “Dear internet: your a bunch of meanies an u don understand my caracterz, jelus haterz! Im not gonna write the next chappie till I get ten good reviews!”


    On learning that Edward has been breaking into his daughter’s room every night, Charlie responds appropriately.


    “I see… things no-one should ever see. Vampire C-sections and paedophile werewolves… Oh, I am so gonna be ‘unavailable for filming’ that day…”


    Is it just me, or does it look like she’s enjoying this just a little too much?


    How most girls would react on learning that their creepy bipolar stalker wants to piss off and leave them alone for good.


    “Oh hell, it’s been way too long since I did one of these… which vein was it again?”

    Hey… SlyShy! That gives me a great idea. We should do a twilight caption contest.

  48.  
    OMG, that was great! Ha, thanks for that!
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009 edited
     

    Finally saw the trailer. Edward looks like he’s been dunked in the same bag of flour as Carlisle.

    I am happily going to accompany my friend to see this to also perv on Jacob.

    Oh, crap on a crutch, he is totally not 17. Can’t be. >>

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Yep. Born in 1992. January, I think.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009 edited
     

    D: He’s the same age as my friend’s younger brother. That’s why it’s so squicky. ><

    • CommentAuthorAri
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Ew, he’s almost my age. DDDD: I’m still freaked by the SMeyer cameo in the movie. I nearly choked on my soda when I saw her face, all smug and whatever.

    • CommentAuthorLord Snow
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Hey… SlyShy! That gives me a great idea. We should do a twilight caption contest.

    Isn’t that pretty much the Twilight EWW’s?

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Nah, instead of taking quotations out of context, you take pictures out of context. Way out of context.

    I love caption competitions.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Me too! Though I suck at actually making captions.

    Though Taylor Lautner is so older than me. So I can get away with ogling. >>

  49.  

    Some of these discussions are going in very disturbing directions. It’s like some of you want to send Taylor Lautner to jail.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     
    *runs away from conversation*

    Wait a sec, what am I saying? It's Tuesday! I'm safe! Right mindset, right mindset...
  50.  

    Ok, first sign to see if you have a problem:

    Would you be ok with Taylor Lautner in your room, watching you sleep at night?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Um, no. That would be scary and dumb. Besides, I say stupid things like “Is it Tuesday? Yes it is… Tuesday…” in my sleep. I also snore. I also sleepwalk and bring things like staplers to my bedside table in the night. So no, that would not be cool.

    Also, this brings back memories of the absolutely ridiculous cold-tent scene in Eclipse. Bad memories. In which I was alternately crying tears of hopelessness for humanity and rolling on the floor laughing.

  51.  

    ok, so we’ve confirmed that spanman doesn’t have a problem. (yet…)

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeJun 2nd 2009
     

    Thanks for the diagnosis, doctor.