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      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2009 edited
     

    This is a brief dissertation I wrote about vampires for fun. It’s quasi-scientific in nature and considers vampires as living organisms that might actually have evolved as opposed to supernatural creatures.

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    Throughout history, many misconceptions have been propagated by popular culture about vampires: for instance, that they are undead, that they leave behind no reflections, that they are afraid of garlic or crucifixes, or that they can turn themselves into bats. None of these are true. In fact the very idea that the vampire is a corpse with supernatural powers is itself a myth. Vampires are living creatures just like we Homo sapiens, but they are a different species, Homo vampirus.

    Genetic evidence suggests that the ancestors of Homo vampirus diverged from those of Homo sapiens approximately 700,000 years ago. Like H. sapiens, H. vampirus originated in Africa; the oldest fossil remains assignable to H. vampirus have been found in various African caves and have been radiometrically dated to be about 200,000 years old (although older skulls with proto-vampiric traits have also been found in Africa). These fossils are often found in close geographic proximity to those of early H. sapiens, suggesting that vampires have been hunting modern humans since the appearance of both species.

    In the seven hundred millennia since their ancestors first parted ways with those of modern humans, vampires have evolved a number of adaptations to the lifestyle of nocturnal, blood-sucking predators. Their skin is paler than that of H. sapiens, since they rarely come out until sundown. They have larger eyes and superior night vision to us. They have sharp, elongated fang-like canines as well as sharp, claw-like nails, these two adaptations both helping to extract blood from their prey. Vampires are also physically stronger than modern humans, which helps them subdue struggling victims. Finally, vampires also appear to be more intelligent than modern humans, allowing them to trick their prey.

    In appearance, vampires vary from region to region, often resembling the modern humans with whom they coexist. For example, African vampires have relatively dark skin and kinky hair, whereas vampires in eastern Asia have straight black hair and slanted eyes. The tendency of vampires to have similar physical features to the modern humans they hunt may help them blend in with modern human populations and seduce modern human prey.

    Some vampires, but not all, have the ability to make their skin “sparkle” when exposed to light. Some experts speculate that the function of this trait is to lure in human prey, not unlike the light of the angler fish.

    Vampires typically lived in autonomous, patrilineal family groups headed by mature males. Mating among vampires is usually monogamous, and sexual dimorphism is less marked in vampires than in modern humans. Each vampire clan typically has a totem, usually a predatory animal, “watching” over it. Vampires’ surnames usually refer to their clan’s totem animal; for instance, a vampire may be named Jacob Lion, or Michelle Hyena. Beyond this basic totemism, vampire religions and traditions vary as much as those of modern humans. Some vampire clans have even adopted practices of modern human religions such as Christianity and Islam.

    Some people believe that vampires can only be killed by a stake to the heart, yet this is another myth. The ways one can kill a vampire are similar to the ways one can kill a modern human. However, vampire-hunting is strongly advised against for the untrained, as the creatures are extremely vicious and vindictive, and will often go out of their way to avenge their slain compatriots.

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      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2009
     

    Do you want a critique of this, or mere discussion? Either way, here’s a couple of nitpicks, if you plan on rewriting it ever:

    for instance, that they are undead, that they are undead, that they leave behind no reflections, that they are afraid of garlic or crucifixes, or that they can turn themselves into bats.

    Is “that they are undead” supposed to be repeated twice?

    They have sharp, elongated fang-like canines as well as sharp, claw-like nails

    Avoid repetition- here, “sharp” is repeated twice, as is “<something>-like”.

    Anyway, on talking about the actual content… very interesting. Is the totem animal of the Crazy Cullen Crew the Swan? ;)

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      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2009
     

    Is “that they are undead” supposed to be repeated twice?

    That was a typo.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2009 edited
     

    Aww, where’d my reply go?

    Anyway, I said I liked it, provided evidence that 700,000 years ago might not be early enough for a divergence like that because 700,000 years ago humans were already settling in Britain (unless the divergence of H. sapiens and H. vampirus was because of the northward migration of H. sapiens? That could be cool.)

    I quite like the idea of this. It’s not new, but you make it interesting, and the “evidence” you introduce is fun and interesting.

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      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2009 edited
     

    700,000 years ago humans were already settling in Britain

    Modern humans? All the sources I’ve read state that modern humans did not evolve until ~200 kya. You’re probably thinking of something similar to Homo heidelbergensis.