No offense to sansa, and I“ll even admit that the actress playing Rosalie looked more the part in Twilight2 –

But after seeing her with blond hair in Spidey 3, I think Bryce would have made a much more beautiful Rosalie.

Panel 4 FTW:

@Silivren

Ironic because a frequent point of ours on this site is that Twilight COULD pwn… and yet it frequently doesn’t.

(this post shouldn’t be here, but on the LotR topic, my bad)

I feel so sorry for poor Mal.

‘Today, I noticed my girlfriend’s laptop had a long word document up. She was writing a slash fic with Edward Cullen and myself. FML’

That’s only slightly disturbing.

^^I love the Oatmeal! The only thing missing is that in the comic, he calls Bella “Pants” because he can’t remember her name, which is just awesome for some reason.

Hey, check out what just got posted at agonybooth.com.

Jet’s back!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH. About time.

Also, EW.com apparently put out a list of the 100 best characters in the past 20 years, and Edward Cullen was only two spots below Omar Little. I made about 5 different ragefaces at the same time.

I much prefer Alien’s version of events.

Haha, I love it!

By the way, new Head Trip today! :D

Dang it you already linked!!!

cries

I think everyone should know about this. I’d probably do it, but I’m on the wrong end of the east coast.

Too far away. But you can apparently do your own. Cool.

HaHaHaHaHaHa

But, the real question here is… Did you spend your gift card on the Barbie dolls?

Ugh, the Twilight phenomenon is driving me crazy. So I was at the bookstore today, right, and I’m gleefully sorting through the shelves looking for things to read/buy. First in the comics section, then I think “Hey, I’ll go look through the sci-fi section! Maybe I can find a nice, low-cost copy of the Dune series, which I need to finish, or one of Tolkien’s works that I don’t own yet!”

ONLY to discover SHELVES AND SHELVES of vampire/werewolf-related nonsense. OK, so I’m sure some of it was old stuff repackaged for the Twilight Generation. And probably a lot of it was better than Twilight, and almost as much shelf space was taken up by the Star Wars and Halo books, but still! It was obvious they were just jumping on to the bandwagon. Even the manga section had a prominent rack out front of some series with vampires in it! Thank goodness vampires aren’t popular in comics or I wouldn’t have had any safe place to hide in…

Wouldn’t it be cool if Halo pandered to the Twilight crowd?

Uh, no? Not at all? Hilarious, maybe, but definitely not “cool”.

Seriously, that’s one of the most mind-blowingly awful premises that I’ve read in my life.

Hey, it’s cool when stuff is hilarious.

So I went to Barnes and Noble, and there was SO MUCH Twilight merchandise. Twilight doorhangers, anyone? How about a wooden Twilight calendar? (I love those things normally, but having one with Edward painted on the side is just too much.)

You and your artery bouquet…

So I watched some clips of Eclipse…Pattinson and Stewart’s delivery is hilarious.

I’m seeing Eclipse next week with a friend. She likes Twilight. I like seeing her (we meet up rarely, she graduated last year). Also, she’s getting the tickets, so I lulz without paying SMeyer. I look forward to making funny commentary in my head (and then afterwards on here).

Ooh, links please! :D

It was on Yahoo! and now I can’t find it. Sorry. :(

Although, there was one part I found slightly humorous. Basically, Edward and Bella meet Jacob, who is of course showing off his abs, and Edward says, “Does he not own a shirt?” or something catty along those lines. Har har har.

Of course, the fact that RPatz sounds somewhat constipated only serves to make it funnier, if in an unintended way.

Because the disappointment on his face is going to be so funny…

One hopes that “Eclipse,” improves upon its predecessors.

I had Jacob end up with Bella. Then they died. I was sad.

More things Twilight has ruined

Wow. Nate’s article was slightly scary because it was true. :P

I’d actually like the name Edward, even after Twilight I think it’s pretty awesome.

You could always try Edmund instead.

Or Nedward? Eddard? There must be more Edwardlike names.

@sansa

Wait, how dose British = un-manly?

Pfft. British = manly.

See?

Part of the British Isles… so yes they do.

Is not! Ireland is a separate island! SCOTLAND IS NOT.

See?

According to my old Latin teacher, who lived in Scotland for several years as an expatriate, the Scots deeply resent being called “British”. Just thought that I’d clear that up.

Twilight ruined Sense and Sensibility for me, by the way. Because the guy is named Edward.

Twilight ruined my cousin because his name is Edward.

Lol. I really did.

You guys know Better Homes and Gardens, yes?

The Australian version is advertising their next television show:

“Give your room a Twilight makeover!”

Tara’s Twilight bedroom makeover

You’ve seen the movie, now get ready to see the makeover. This ‘Twilight’ inspired bedroom makeover is one you can really sink your teeth into. Perfect for any teenage girl, Tara shows you how you can turn your room into a romantic fantasy-land.

“romantic fantasy land”, which includes Goffick fishnet blooming curtains, and HUGE posters of Edward and Jacob on every blank wall.

I very nearly facedesked into a clothes horse.

I love io9.

Team You Are Not Allowed To Have An Interracial Relationship

Team You Must Be Controlled By An Older Man Who Hates Sex

When Bella rejects Jacob, she is solidifying a distaste these films have for interracial relationships (sexual or otherwise) that began with Laurent and Victoria. So what does Bella trade in her potential native boyfriend for? Edward is so white that he sparkles in sunlight, but she’s not exactly making a KKK choice here. Actually what she wants is a daddy in a hot young boy’s body.

Remember, Edward is old enough to be Bella’s great-grandfather, and most of the time he treats Bella like his little girl. He watches over her when she sleeps, tells her who she should hang out with, and (at one point) grounds her from using her car because he’s not happy with her intention to see Jacob. Compare that to her father’s behavior. The movie begins with Bella having been grounded by her father, who also insists that she not see Edward so much (he’s Team Jacob). So basically Edward’s behavior seems to mirror her father’s. In fact, it turns out that Bella’s cop father is actually tracking the very same vampire that the Cullen family is tracking – Victoria’s lieutenant in the newborn army.

Team Don’t Date The Guy Who Wants Sex As Much As You Do

In Eclipse, as in the previous two films, Bella is full of sexual desire – for Edward primarily, but also for Jacob, whose shirtless body is put on display for us pretty much every time he’s on screen. There is a terrific moment in Eclipse where Jacob has to carry Bella through the forest, and he tells her he can feel how nervous he makes her – he knows she wants him. And she has to admit it’s true. We know that if Bella were to choose Jacob there would be no icky faces when she tries to have sex. He doesn’t reject her sexual desire – he welcomes it.

Rejecting Jacob is a way of rejecting the consummation of her desire. It’s a rejection of the man who finds her unambiguously appealing, and isn’t horrified by his own desires either. (Edward is always insisting that if he had sex with Bella it could kill her.) “Being with me would be as easy as breathing,” Jacob tells Bella. But she doesn’t want to breathe, or even be alive. She wants to remain frozen in unrequited desire, lusting after a man who finds lust disgusting.

And here we see again why Twilight is the racist antithesis of modern feminism.

Edward/Bella rolling around on a bed.

It’s depressing that my love life resembles Bella’s so closely.

You are in a relationship with a vampire?

Yeah, men are weird that way. Soon as I met Andrew, that random British guy popped up (to my confusion and discomfort). And I had never gotten hit on before (except by my previous boyfriends who were several years apart), so the timing was weird.