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  1.  

    Apparently, some girl at my school wrote a response to a review I did of New Moon, saying that I didn’t get the Edward/Bella relationship because I wasn’t a teenage girl.

  2.  

    ^^I’m a teenage girl, and I don’t get the Edward/Bella relationship. What did you say in your review?

  3.  

    All I said was that Bella and Edward had absolutely no chemistry and that Bella was an idiot for jumping off a cliff as well as hitching a ride from a stranger.

  4.  

    I think the girl at your school may be a bit of a Bella…

  5.  

    Speaking as a teenage girl…E/B is really disturbing and unhealthy.

  6.  

    Yay!

  7.  

    I said at school that Edward and Bella’s relationship was really creepy, and one girl asked me if I’d even read the books. I said yes and started telling her about Edward disabling Bella’s car (hope we get to see THAT in Eclipse!). Then another girl said that Edward and Bella reminded her of her and her boyfriend, so I shut up. Because HER relationship is actually pretty healthy, whereas Bedward is not, and I didn’t want her to think I was criticising HER.

    It sucks being a member of the good guys sometimes.

  8.  

    It sucks being a member of the good guys sometimes.

    Come join the dark side Steph. We have cookies.

  9.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
     

    “...Line?”

  10.  

    Watching the rifftrax now…

    Oh Charlie, you and your mustache are too good for this movie. Don’t you hate to see good talent go to waste?

    (unlike Mike & Co who are so great I’m about to cry laughing)

    •  
      CommentAuthorNorthmark
    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
     

    “We just hit a turtle!”

    That rifftrax was pretty awesome. :D

  11.  

    “Complete sentence?
    ...
    NO! 0 and 50”

  12.  

    quick question to those unfortunate souls who have read the book:

    Does Bella keep commentating on Jacob’s buffness in them, or is that lampshade hanging for the new moon movie?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeMar 22nd 2010
     

    Yeah. And she does do a lot of commenting on how he’s closer to seven feet than six, he’s got the body of a man ten years older than him, he’s beautiful, etc. Also she notes how she punched him in the face as hard as she could after he kissed her this one time, and he “hardly noticed”.

    As I recall, she broke a knuckle during that little episode. Dunno about you, but I think that no matter how big and strong you are, there’s no way you’re not noticing it when someone hits you as hard as they can. Even if it’s just Bella.

  13.  

    Dang, the “you’re beautiful” line was in the original? Ugh, I’m glad I never finished the book.

    As I recall, she broke a knuckle during that little episode. Dunno about you, but I think that no matter how big and strong you are, there’s no way you’re not noticing it when someone hits you as hard as they can. Even if it’s just Bella.

    Well, there’s a lot of factors going into that. Like say you’re involved in a lot of fights (i.e. a boxer), then someone who can barely punch at all will probably not get your attention when you’ve taken hits much worse.

    Of course, Jack London’s Call of the Wild had a much better example in it. The protagonist wolf starts with one, fairly abusive owner and then ends up with a much kinder one. They make a point in the book that while he felt the former’s blows, it didn’t seem to hurt that much. However, when the latter hits him, he barely feels it but it hurts so much deeper.

    Oh, and because people’s suffering make me laugh.

  14.  

    Hey, Bella’s good for something after all.

    I’m going to start including this to measure my reactions to stuff.

    Examples:

    My reaction to,
    Finishing Breaking Dawn
    Losing my beloved dog
    Missing McDonald’s breakfast

    C’mon people, let’s start a meme!

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    It really makes you feel for Charlie, the true hero of the series.
    Is it me, or do some of those screams sound suspiciously like a lower-pitched Nazgul screech?

  15.  

    @Moldorm – You know, I could swear I saw in the montage scene some hobbits go running by her window.

  16.  

    Oh, BTW: Rifftrax removed their new moon trailer or something.

    Thankfully fans are always to the rescue.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    Haha, Rifftrax. Almost makes me want to watch the movie.

  17.  

    Well, even though I’m doing so right now, I figured the best of will give you the good stuff without having to suffer.
    (the boo when she walks into the Cullen’s house made me nearly spit my cereal)

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010 edited
     

    ...

    I don’t find Rifftrax funny at all, if that’s their best then I am disappointed. All they do is make toilet jokes, what are they 6 years old?

    Also, from what I could see, Alice and Jasper are, again, by far the best characters in the movie.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    It was the “spare parts for my rabbit” bit that did it for me.

  18.  

    Let’s see here… link is an 11 minute video…
    First even remotely toilet joke doesn’t show up till… 3 minutes in. (heck, off the top of my head I’m not sure the first movie they did any toilet jokes)

    Way to over generalize there, puppet. XP

    It was the “spare parts for my rabbit” bit that did it for me.

    Good or bad? lol

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    For a vigourous positive reaction. Although it did provoke several searching questions from nearby family.

  19.  

    And you got to admit, their “confusion” over Bella constantly saying “change me” is really funny.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    Over generalize, yes. Let me rephrase that.

    I don’t find Rifftrax funny at all, if that’s their best then I am disappointed. 95% of their jokes were terrible and unfunny, in my opinion. If that’s their best then I can’t imagine what their worst is.

  20.  

    That’s better puppet.

    Moving on…

    Ignoring the controversial nature of the source, this post makes me thing Liza of Lambeth, Of Human Bondage and The Magician were better references for Twilight than Wuthering heights and Romeo & Juliet, etc.

  21.  

    The valedictorian of the school I work at’s senior class used an Edward Cullen quote for her yearbook thinger. I am so disappoint.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeMar 24th 2010
     

    Which quote?

  22.  

    I forget the exact wording. It ended in something like “I made up my mind that nothing could ever beat me” which sounds kinda cool by itself, but the run-up to it was so pointlessly wordy it sapped all the kick out.

  23.  

    My friend got Cullen contacts today. He’s not a Twihard, he’s just doing it for kicks to see if anybody notices. Once I noticed I couldn’t stop laughing.

    @ Nate:

    I’ll take you up on that offer.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeMar 27th 2010 edited
     

    This needs to be linked to for everyone here not members of AS.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1RhMcwGNjc

    Watch it. Pay close attention to the person playing the Team Edward girl.

    And for the love of LCD screens, don’t drink while watching it.

  24.  

    “Those are fake abs.”

    Taku, you have brought joy to my Saturday.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeMar 27th 2010
     

    It’s sad because Twi-hards actually fight over this. :/

    • CommentAuthorDWest88
    • CommentTimeMar 27th 2010
     
    After having watched New Moon for the first time last night (WITH Rifftrax thank you very much) I had to seek out solace in the form of The Spoony One. If you haven't seen his "review" of New Moon, it's worth a watch.

    http://spoonyexperiment.com/2009/11/22/vlog-11-22-09-new-moon/
  25.  

  26.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     

    Sweet merciful Jeebus…

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     
  27.  

    One dollar for each copy sold from the first printing will be donated to the American Red Cross International Response Fund.

    I don’t know Willow… that just seems kind of funny to me. A vampire story funding the organization responsible for blood drives…

    Heh, at least we know that IMPISHIDEA MUST LIVE ON!

  28.  

    A novella, eh? PRETENTIOUS COOKIE, ANYONE?!
    >.< Arg, S.Meyer never fails to disappoint…

  29.  

    It’s available online! We must read it!

    Ew, though.

  30.  

    It’s available online! We must read it!

    I’m already trying to get through the philosophy book (chapter 2 sort of pending). It’s someone else’s turn in the barrel.

    •  
      CommentAuthorNorthmark
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010
     

    I’ll read it out of curiosity, just like I did with the Breaking Dawn draft.

  31.  

    I just realized something…

    Ok, Twilight’s cover I kind of understand – temptation etc.

    Where do the other 3 come from? From everything I know about the books… not a clue.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeMar 30th 2010 edited
     

    I said this a while back, but the flower on New Moon‘s cover is to represent Bella’s change. The tearing ribbon for Eclipse is to represent how Bella is torn between Jacob and Edward. And the chess piece for Breaking Dawn is to represent how Bella went from pawn to queen, aka human to Meyerpire.

  32.  

    And the rat represents obviousness!

  33.  

    I said this a while back, but the flower on New Moon‘s cover is to represent Bella’s change.

    Um… she’s… blossoming? Ok, no matter what, I can at least understand where the apple imagery is SUPPOSED to come from. Seriously, what change is Bella supposed to go through in new moon?

    The tearing ribbon for Eclipse is to represent how Bella is torn between Jacob and Edward.

    Oh! Ok, I couldn’t tell the ribbon was tearing.

    And the chess piece for Breaking Dawn is to represent how Bella went from pawn to queen, aka human to Meyerpire.

    Ah, so obvious, especially with the red – white colors. Ok, that’s not bad either.

  34.  

    No, the flower doesn’t represent anything. The publishers just chose it because it looked cool.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2010
     

    Oh? Do you have sources? =P

    In the HP vs Twilight debate way back when that was one of the things the Twilight team pointed out. I’m not exactly sure of what the flower represents, but based on the 3 other books all representing something, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t just put it in because it “looked cool.”

  35.  

    C’mon people, let’s start a meme!

    I am so for this.

  36.  

    In the HP vs Twilight debate way back when that was one of the things the Twilight team pointed out. I’m not exactly sure of what the flower represents, but based on the 3 other books all representing something, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t just put it in because it “looked cool.”

    SMeyer actually had no control over that one: the publishers just chose it because, well, it does look cool. I think people may have started retconning this, because I remember seeing on her site that this was the case, but now I can’ t find a mention of it anywhere.

    C’mon people, let’s start a meme!

    Somebody mentioned the ‘Ceiling River’ meme a while back. That seriously needs to take off. (I seriously wonder if Joss Whedon did that to imitate Ceiling Cat.)

  37.  

    I think that was me and Diamonte… yes, Ceiling River needs to catch on.

  38.  

    As soon as I find a good screenshot of her, she is becoming my profile pic.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 6th 2010
     

    I think that was me and Diamonte… yes, Ceiling River needs to catch on.

    And by “me and Diamonte” you mean me, right? :P

  39.  

    I think Diamonte may have been in on it too. I couldn’t remember if it was you, Diamonte, or both.

  40.  

    Gotta love John Wright’s note here:

    On the other hand, if I never see another movie about a sparkly vampire again, I will suffer no discontent, unless mayhap we are talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer staking him and his sparkles through the unbeating heart with “Mr. Pointy” and for that I would pay money. I would also pay money to see Willow the Witch resurrect Wash the Pilot from his pointless chump death, and then get arrested by the Inquisition, turned over to the secular arm, and burned at the stake for the unforgivable crime of dumping Seth Green the friendly werewolf.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
     

    If it takes off, I claim partial responsibility. If not, well, it was all you guys.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 8th 2010
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorZombie Devin
    • CommentTimeApr 10th 2010 edited
     

    So apparently my community college is offering a class about Twilight. It’s called “From Twilight to Daylight, Reading Vampires to Understand Ourselves”. It’s the sub-college reading level class, but still.

    Edit: However, in the culinary section, there seems to be a course simply titled, “Chocolate.” I forgive them.

  41.  

    I was kind of disappointed that the Twilight reference in YuGiOh Abridged was so lame.

  42.  

    I was kind of disappointed that the Twilight reference in YuGiOh Abridged was so lame.

    That’s still going on? What episode is it on now?

  43.  

    Don’t know the number, but it was just before the Noah arc.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSilivren
    • CommentTimeApr 15th 2010
     
    My topic for senior paper in English class started out as "Twilight contains themes that are harmful for its demographic." I talked it out with my English teacher and got my topic changed to "Twilight is a shitty book."

    I'm excited :)
  44.  

    Darn, that former title actually sounds more interesting.

    For the latter paper, are you just going to copy this site? ;-)

  45.  

    The description on the back of a Twilight philosophy book:

    The first look at the philosophy behind Stephenie Meyer’s bestselling Twilight series
    Bella and Edward, and their family and friends, have faced countless dangers and philosophical dilemmas in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight novels. This book is the first to explore them, drawing on the wisdom of philosophical heavyweights to answer essential questions such as: What do the struggles of “vegetarian” vampires who control their biological urge for human blood say about free will? Are vampires morally absolved if they kill only animals and not people? From a feminist perspective, is Edward a romantic hero or is he just a stalker? Is Jacob “better” for Bella than Edward?

    As absorbing as the Meyer novels themselves, Twilight and Philosophy:
    Gives you a new perspective on Twilight characters, storylines, and themes
    Helps you gain fresh insights into the Twilight novels and movies
    Features an irresistible combination of vampires, romance, and philosophy
    Twilight and Philosophy is a must-have companion for every Twilight fan, whether you’re new to the series or have followed it since the beginning.

    From the Back Cover
    What can vampires tell us about the meaning of life?
    Is Edward a romantic hero or a dangerous stalker?

    Is Bella a feminist? Is Stephenie Meyer?

    How does Stephenie Meyer’s Mormonism fit into the fantastical world of Twilight?

    Is Jacob “better” for Bella than Edward?

    The answers to these philosophical questions and more can be found inside Twilight and Philosophy: Vampires, Vegetarians, and the Pursuit of Immortality. With everything from Taoism to mind reading to the place of God in a world of vampires, this book offers some very tasty philosophy for both the living and the undead to sink their teeth into. Whether you’re on Team Edward or Team Jacob, whether you loved or hated Breaking Dawn, this book is for you!

    Out of curiosity, is this what Nate’s sporking?

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2010
     

    I believe so. How many books on Twilight’s philosophy can there be?

  46.  

    Out of curiosity, is this what Nate’s sporking?

    When you read the back cover – yep, I recognized it. That’s it.

  47.  

    Is Edward a romantic hero or a dangerous stalker?

    Hmm…I really can’t decide… on the one hand, he watches me sleep. On the other, he’s extremely HAWT. I’m torn. Somebody help me out here.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2010
     

    There’s really no argument on that. Edward could be a gross 108 year old grandpa and still qualify as a stalker. Looks aren’t a excuse.

  48.  

    No, but really, I’ve heard so many people argue that it’s only because he loves her. pulls a Van Gogh

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 17th 2010
     

    I was being sarcastic.

    Hahaha, I knew that, but I just had to say it. I’m tired of hearing the “but he’s so HAWWWWWT1!!1!” argument.

  49.  

    @ Snow White Queen – Ugh, I’ve had the same experience of listening to that argument. Fortunately, there aren’t any rabids near me, and I try not to pick fights.

    Also, I’m going to start saying “pull a van Gogh” now.

  50.  

    Also, I’m going to start saying “pull a van Gogh” now.

    I have started a trend, it seems. Wow. I feel special.

    But there are so many Twilight fans at my school…you never know if it’s safe to bash it or whether you’ll get a room full of butt-hurt fangirls. Of course, there are also a good number of haters, so that’s fun too. You say ‘Oh, you hate Twilight! So do I?’ and then you reenact the books with about as much talent as the film cast.

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeApr 19th 2010 edited
     

    Actually, you do it more so, because you can illicit a strong emotional response.

    OF LAUGHTER. (Although the Quilete tribe- that was LULZ)

  51.  

    you can elicit a strong emotional response.

    FIXED.

  52.  

    I was kind of disappointed that the Twilight reference in YuGiOh Abridged was so lame.
    That’s still going on? What episode is it on now?

    It was one of the episodes in the early thirties I think. Yugi says to Yami, “You’re a vampire aren’t you?” “It’s the middle of the day!” “Well, that proves nothing!” “I never should have let you read Twilight.”

    And yes, YuGiOh Ab. is still going on.

  53.  

    Just read ComicNix’s take on Twilight. All I can say is, I’d like Twilight at least eleven billion times more if it had gone like this.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeApr 20th 2010
     

    “Now ninjas, fell the wrath of a preggo!!!!” and Bella jumps from the chandelier and kicks the ninja in the face.

    sansa, this is brilliant. How’d you find it?

  54.  

    I was reading the other fanfics the guy wrote on Topless Robot(one was hilarious Batman/Robocop slash, and the second was just an unstoppably retarded mashup of Inspector Gadget, Superman, and Batman), and I wanted to see if the guy had written any other stuff, so I looked him up on ff.net.

    The Twilight one caught my eye right away, although I had no idea it would end up being like it was. I probably should’ve, though.

  55.  

    Sansa also reads Topless Robot?

    Truly, you are a fine man, sir! /salute

  56.  

    I suppose that I’m a fine man as well.

  57.  

    I only know of it because of you, D, you and that Pokemon fic with a title that doesn’t make much sense.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2010 edited
     

    New Eclipse Trailer

    Vampire Army vs Werewolf Army… I only got about 1/3d of the way into Eclipse before giving up on the series. does anybody know if this actually happened in the book?

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2010 edited
     

    All I remember is the scene where Bella and Jacob snuggle under the covers and Jacob forces her to kiss him.

    At first when the trailer started, I was thinking that this movie had the potential to be the best out of the Twilight franchise [best being entirely relative, though, with this bundle of crap], but then I died of laughter. Oh gosh, the special effects. The bouncing from one tree to another. RICOCHET RABBIT. And the tree-ripping.

    Is it just me, or is Spunk’s make-up making him look worse and worse?

  58.  

    It was so forgettable….that I forgot. You know you did something wrong when you take a guilty fan like me who devours your first two crappy books and then crunch out a third one that completely loses even my interest. Paolini fell for this as well with Eldest, actually.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeApr 23rd 2010
     

    Exactly the same as me, SWQ. I was a fan of the first, was disillusioned with the second, and so disgusted by the third that I turned anti.

  59.  

    @Diamonte

    RICOCHET RABBIT

    Great, now I can’t stop thinking about the Rabbit of Caer Bannog.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2010 edited
     

    You’ll never guess what I found in my magazine where I can order books.

    They’re now handing out graphic versions of Twilight.
    And there’s a book set on Vampireology plus a book called Fallen by Lauren Kate. A page-turner for Twilight fans apparently. Has anyone read that book before?

    EDIT: I’m almost tempted to order Fallen....

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2010
     

    I like how the trailer is trying to be really dramatic, but at times just looks silly.

    •  
      CommentAuthorarska
    • CommentTimeApr 24th 2010
     

    I like all of the werewolves going to eat the sparklepires. Is lulzy. xD

  60.  

    Yes Eclipse... TRY to be SPN all you want, but the show with a fraction of your budget and a quarter of your time can STILL kick your ass.

    Also… Nagasaki Moon chap 16 will kick much more ass than that. (hmm… need to finish it up here)

  61.  

    I still can’t believe Dia made a Ricochet Rabbit reference.

  62.  

    Wait… WTF?

    So I was just checking around and suddenly noticed that Bryce Dallas Howard is in Eclipse. Wait… really? She’s one of my top hollywood crushes! What is she playing...

    VICTORIA????

    What happened to Rachelle Lefevre? (a quite lovely gal in her own right) Bryce had 2 crappy Shamalyn films to work through (at least T4 wasn’t THAT bad) – don’t be dragging her into another crappy project, Twilight.

    Man it’s like every day I have a new reason to hate this series.

    • CommentAuthorDamselfly
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2010
     
    There was scheduling drama and she had to be replaced. I say drama because the Twilight fansite I found it on went back and forth on its news posts about whose fault it was. The comments section was hilarious.
  63.  

    Damselfly, do share. XD

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeApr 25th 2010
     

    Ha. Hahaha.

    Is it too much to hope that Eclipse will be even more lulzy than its predecessors? And really, Bryce Dallas Howard? That’s just one more of many pretty good actors failing to make these movies any good.

  64.  

    I heard the first one pretty much just got booted because Howard was a more bankable name or somesuch.