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    Wait…am I reading that link correctly? Did that just say that Hideo Kojima was a “huge” Twilight fan?


    • CommentTimeJan 21st 2010
    He is indeed. The Escapist magazine told me so.


    He is indeed. The Escapist magazine Yahtzee told me so.

    How I initially read that.


    Yeah, it’s true. I was so disappoint in Kojima when I read that.


    As of right now: 1402 pm eastern standard time… if you type “Author” in google, Stephanie Meyer is the 2nd result.

    ....Pardon me, I must go take up drinking.


    @Nate Winchester

    As of right now: 1402 pm eastern standard time… if you type “Author” in google, Stephanie Meyer is the 2nd result.

    While on Yahoo!, she doesn’t even make the first page.

    Yahoo! is therefore better than Google.


    Yahoo! is therefore better than Google.

    Thou almost persuadeth me.

    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2010

    Well damn, that is a most excellent argument.

    Shoot, I don’t know how to counter it.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2010

    Nate, this will restore your faith. I typed “Edward is” into both engines. Here’s what I got.


    Edward is not a shrimp
    Edward is hot
    Edward is a vilf
    Edward is a vampire


    Edward is abusive
    Edward is bothered
    Edward is deadward
    Edward is a virgin


    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2010

    I dunno, that first Yahoo! result is pretty hilarious…


    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJan 28th 2010

    Jeni, Google also had that as one of its results. I just didn’t list all the results for each one.


    Also to restore your faith, yahtzee of course has a quick shot at Twilight.


    OK, so it’s not STRICTLY about Twilight but, darn it, the picture just made me laugh and laugh.


    shun the non-Twilighter…


    I was reading The Host, and I noticed that Wanda says about Ian that his touch made her feel as though she’d been in agony without realising it, and the pain left when he touched her.

    Does that not sound familiar to Bella’s reaction to Edward in Eclipse?


    From SomethingAwful’s reCAPTCHA image contest:

    • CommentTimeFeb 1st 2010

    Does it sparkle too?


    Add sprinkles and wait a day for it to get stale, and you’ll have the perfect Edward Muffin.


    That gives new meaning to the expression ‘studmuffin’

    Ew. How dare they insult muffins in that way?

    • CommentTimeFeb 1st 2010

    And is it as hard as a marble statue?

    • CommentTimeFeb 1st 2010 edited

    ^ As Marquis said, give it a day or two, and you’re set.


    Talk about rock cakes…


    Talk about rock cakes…

    Was that the line Meyer used to pitch the story?

    (sometimes the jokes write themselves)


    Dang, and I thought I was going to have the last word here! grumps

    • CommentTimeFeb 2nd 2010


    Heheheh. :D

    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2010

    Double the lulz! This is a great day! :D

    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2010

    Double the amount of money and fail as well. This is a terrible day. D:

    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2010

    But the OM NOM NOM scene can be longer! It shall be awesome!

    • CommentTimeFeb 13th 2010


    • CommentAuthorSlyShy
    • CommentTimeFeb 15th 2010


    It must be 2012 already, because I think the world is ending.


    Oh dear God….


    Wha— No, no, this can’t be happening…
    brain explodes



    • CommentTimeFeb 15th 2010


    I have no words.


    Ok… who is volunteering to spork that?

    ...oh, did I just do so?

    • CommentTimeFeb 15th 2010

    At least Final Fantasy/Watchmen/X-Men and philosophy kind of made sense…


    • CommentTimeFeb 15th 2010

    @Marquis—I love you. Also I spit my tea on my screen.


    This cracked me up.

    From “Ten Films I’m Excited to See In 2010”

    10. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (June 30, 2010): I’m thoroughly excited about this latest entry in the emo-vampire sweepstakes. Sorry there’s no trailer, but I’m sure the filmmakers will be branching off in surprising, challenging new directions. It goes without saying that the first two films were awesome. Kristen Stewart’s trademark lip-bite can convey an astonishing range of emotions, from anger to fear to joy to unrequited horniness. That skinny pale boy is dreamy too. I think that these films get a bad rap, what with most people mocking them instead of approaching the films as the powerful stand-alone artistic statements that they are. Yes, I am truly looking forward to Twilight III – mostly because it will mean that for a while the kind of people who like these films will be sitting in movie theaters far the hell away from me.

    See? Always a bright side!



    Looking forward to it, Nate.

    • CommentTimeFeb 16th 2010

    I watched New Moon for the soft-porn aspect of the Quilete tribe and the lulz. I shall watch it again and post my favorite fail quotes. :D

    And I can. not. wait. Nate.


    Twilight Oath

    I promise to remember Bella

    Each time I carelessly fall down

    And I promise to remember Edward

    Whenever I’m out of town

    I promise to obey traffic laws

    For Charlies sake of course

    And I promise to remember Jacob

    When my heart fills with remorse

    I promise to remember Carlisle

    Whenever I am in the emergency room

    And I promise to remember Emmett

    Everytime there’s a huge boom

    I promise to to remember Rose

    Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

    And I promise to remember Alice

    When I’m at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

    I promise to remember Nessie

    When I see that beautiful bronze hair

    And I promise to remember Esme

    When someone tells me they care

    I promise to remember Jasper

    Whenever my stomach isn’t curled

    And I promise to remember the Volturi

    When someone speaks of dominating the world

    Yes, I promise to love Twilight

    Wherever I may go

    So that all may see my obsession

    Because I know what the Twilighters know

    From some person’s profile on URGH!



    [deep breath]



    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeFeb 18th 2010

    ...there are no words for this.

    • CommentAuthorNo One
    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2010



    desperately looks for brain bleach I seriously need to start collecting my own brain bleach

    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2010

    Are saying that at the Marquis or Nate? xP

    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2010

    @Nate the original etsy page for the manillow is quite snarky towards fans of Twilight, soooo, whilst it’s funny, I’m still not ready to take it as a serious product.


    Oh God. that pillow thing.

    is afraid

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2010

    I promise to think of Bella,
    When I see an emo teen
    I promise to think of Edward
    When I see a stalker preen
    I promise to think of Twilight
    Whenever I take a ___
    Yes, I do hate Twilight
    There’s something wrong with it!

    That was the only bit I could make myself mock before being overcome by nausea >.<

    • CommentTimeFeb 19th 2010



    raises right hand solemnly



    I promise to think of Twilight
    Whenever I take a ___


    I laughed out loud and looked like an idiot/psychotic weirdo.


    Has anyone heard of the series ‘The Last Vampire’? It actually looks kind of somewhat interesting, from the summaries I’ve read on Wikipedia. At least, they’re more creative than Twilight, including stuff from Hindu and Egyptian mythology.


    I know it’s a little old, but I was catching up with this Youtube account and started laughing hard at this fellow’s ‘preview review’

    Even he came up with a much better plot for New Moon in like… 20 seconds.

    • CommentTimeFeb 24th 2010 edited

    I don’t know how many of you also follow Anti-Shurtugal, so I’ll poist this here for your enjoyment as well:

    Stephanie Meyer’s advice on writing

    Note how she says nothing on practicing, getting good, or even about reading. It’s “write for the love of it, not because you want to be famous, because fame is HAAAARD :( “


    Note how she says nothing on practicing, getting good, or even about reading. It’s “write for the love of it, not because you want to be famous, because fame is HAAAARD :( “

    I would say that’s great STARTING advice. Definitely, you should never get into writing or any endeavor for the wrong reasons. But not the end all of it.

    You know what I want from writers? Advice on breaking into the field. I don’t mean for getting past the gatekeepers or anything, I mean advice on where the damn gate is in the first place.


    ^^ THIS.


    Ok, this was funny.

    Relevant quote:

    I’d kill Bella from Twilight and frame Jacob for it. Edward would off Jacob in his quest for revenge and then fall into a spiraling depression when he came to grips with the fact that his ultimate revenge against the twiwolf did nothing to bring Bella back. Edward would then stake himself in an attempt to join his twoo luv in the afterlife. This would effectively eliminate from existence a banal storyline that pollutes vampires (and minds) everywhere and also possibly restore sanity to the twitard who I think had a wee on our library’s copy of the first Twilight book. No, really, it smells of wee. I’m convinced someone tried to mark her territory on Edward.


    RinkWorks is such an awesome site, and so wonderfully dated. 666TH COMMENT WOO I’M THE ANTICHRIST


    There were 666 comments before I left this one. I had to do it to protect the forum from evil.


    This might be one of the greatest things ever.

    And the more you know about both fandoms the funnier it gets.



    The pair even wanted “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling and “Twilight” scribe Stephenie Meyer to present the adapted screenplay category, but Rowling was unavailable because of scheduling conflicts and Meyer, who is a Mormon, does not work on Sundays.

    Huh. “Scheduling conflicts”. More like “Oh, HELL naw, I ain’t presenting the screenplays of my books, which they ruined, let alone doing it next to that MORON!”

    • CommentTimeMar 3rd 2010


    As usual Nate, epic win :D


    Underneath that was a t-shirt saying “I Recycle.”

    That’s just really funny for some reason.

    “I can’t even go to a Fallout Boy concert without practically being gang-raped by Twimoms.” He sniffed. “Where are their children, dammit? Are these women even looking after them?”



    In our school, there’s a poster with a creepy picture of Edward that says ‘If you really love me, you WILL recycle’.



    squeak That actually sounds quite creepy…


    I wish that was at my school.

    pulls out permanent marker

    Actually, I finally saw Twilight on the weekend. The music was really good. The acting… not so much. I honestly think it would have been okay—a fun, half-badly-done piece of escapism if there had been a believeable love story.


    You know what I want from writers? Advice on breaking into the field. I don’t mean for getting past the gatekeepers or anything, I mean advice on where the damn gate is in the first place.

    Found more on this.

    HAMILTON: It has of course changed a great deal. I’m thankful that I got into it at a very early day because frankly the first story I wrote I could never sell today. It wouldn’t be accepted; it would be crude. In those days science fiction was in very little magazines, they were very anxious for printable material, therefore a lot of us―Jack Williamson and I were talking about this last night―succeeded in breaking into print and getting a little money for it, very little, while we learned to write. Nowadays the youngsters have a much harder time. They’ve got to write really good from the very first story. Being a product of the older days I can’t help feeling affection for those old magazines. I prefer the old stories, but that doesn’t change the fact that the field has advanced in literary quality, technique, and everything. We chaps, most of us who started in the old days, could never make it now, with what we did then.


    You know what I want from writers? Advice on breaking into the field. I don’t mean for getting past the gatekeepers or anything, I mean advice on where the damn gate is in the first place.

    Google Miss Snark on blogspot.


    Can somebody fill me in on why Fall Out Boy and Twi-moms are being mentioned in the same place all the time lately?\

    Also, this and ths.

    I know it’s one of ours, but it’s just so epic it deserves to be mentioned…


    COUNT VON COUNT!! He could totally kick Edward’s ass any day. :D

    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2010

    And count the number of times he kicked said sparking ass. XD

    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2010 edited

    Speaking of which…

    ONE punch! A-Ha!


    I saw an ‘I Killed Edward’ shirt at school today.


    I’m doing a collaborative article on Twilight and how people feel about it, and I’ve found that all but one of the contributors (which was about 20) had feelings ranging from disdain to disinterest in it. Needless to say, I’m pleased.

    • CommentTimeMar 11th 2010

    What count is saying:


    Jonah Goldberg’s G-file today had one of the best things I’ve read on vampires, EVER.

    I like vampires. I like vampire movies and TV shows. Now, because I am not a 16-year-old girl, nor a 50-year-old housewife, nor a 26-year-old computer-programming Goth, nor a veteran of Eric Massa’s tickle fights, I don’t read much “vamp lit.” But I did see Twilight — on a plane — and I’ve come to like the True Blood series on HBO, both vamp-lit spin-offs.

    I’ve seen every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. I liked John Carpenter’s Vampires (the first one, not the sequel), although I hated John Carpenter’s Dracula 2000. I thought every scene with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise in Interview with a Vampire was gayer than the volleyball scene in Top Gun (and we all know how gay that was) (careful: profanity warning). I’ve watched more episodes of Vampire Diaries than I care to admit, and I’m still a little ticked off that Kindred: The Embraced was cancelled.

    I’ve even started listening to the band Vampire Weekend.

    I can understand why John Miller wants the culture to move on to werewolves, Frankenstein, mummies, or whatnot, but I don’t think that’s likely. Vampires are better literary devices for, I think, obvious reasons. Werewolves are nice people who turn into mean animals. Mummies are zombies wrapped up in Ace bandages. Frankenstein is a DIY zombie with a slightly better operating system. (Note: Lord knows I’m not dissing Zombies. But two points need to be made on that score. Individual zombies are not particularly scary or interesting. For zombies to work cinematically, pretty much the whole word has to go zombie. Second, even then it’s not like there are a huge number of plot innovations for zombie themed movies). Meanwhile, vampires are smart and wise (thanks to their age) and they can have sex and so on. Oh, and they’re subversive: They live among us.

    There’s just a lot more there to work with. You couldn’t make really good vampire movies (Near Dark, Let the Right One In, etc.) with mummies or werewolves.

    But I do have a problem with the vampire mania sweeping pop culture. There’s something gross about it.

    In Twilight, the romantic lead is Edward Cullen, who’s about 120 years old and falls in love with a 17-year-old girl.

    In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel was born in the 1700s, and he’s in love with Buffy, who’s 16 or so when the relationship starts.

    In The Vampire Diaries, Stefan Salvatore is about 160 years old. His girlfriend seems to be about 17.

    In True Blood, Bill Compton is roughly a century-and-a-half old, and he seduces a woman in her early twenties.

    Anyone see a trend here?

    Put True Blood aside, since it’s intended for adults. Imagine if the 17-year-old girls in Twilight, Buffy, or Vampire Diaries were being seduced by 65-year-old guys. That would be gross. But when the teenage girl is seduced by a guy two, three, four times as old, it’s like-totally-OMG-super-romantic. Why?

    The explanation, according to the girls, seems to boil down to: Because he’s good looking. Because he’s mature. Because he’s mysterious (“I’ve never met anyone like him!”). And because he’s at war with his urges.

    The problem is that if you take away the good-looking part, you’re describing a run-of-the-mill dirty old man. If you keep the good-looking part, you’re describing a slightly younger but really, really sleazy dude who cruises high schools looking for jailbait.

    Either way, I’m not sure it says anything good about the men and women who get too carried away with the “romance” of the vampire genre. Just try to imagine an old white guy in these roles: Phil Gramm going to the prom. Harry Byrd necking in the woods with a 17-year-old. Walter Cronkite sweeping a young damsel off her feet. All of these guys are a lot younger than the buff old men cruising the girls in these movies and TV shows. And if you think it’s different just because the super-old men look good, what does that say about you, or the culture? (“Don’t ask us, you’re the creepy nerd watching all these shows!” — The Couch.)

    And that’s putting aside the question of whether vampires can even be good people. Even if you allow for personal growth, they’re all still murderers. Imagine your teenage daughter dating a forty-year-old with a serious criminal past. Now imagine she tries to defend him:

    “He’s so sweet!”
    “He’s so gentle!”
    “He’s grown so much, he’s, like, super mature now. He’s not like he was when he killed all those nuns!”

    And what does it say about a dude if he thinks, “Man if only I could get my brain inside the body of a buff teenager, I’d totally hit the high schools”?




    That is now my new facebook picture, Taku. Good find.


    You’re not using this one, sansa?

    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2010


    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2010 edited
    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2010 edited
    That's it. Make her anorexic for me XD

    And, I trudged through New Moon. I found some winful quotes/ things I liked or made me angry..


    Bella's dad: "Opps, Gray hair" Bella: *runs to mirror* *glares at Charlie for bad joke* ~ Bella being a prick
    "Maybe I shouldn't be dating such an old man- It's repulsive"~ Bella on dating Edward
    "I'm just filling out" ~ Jacob on his muscles
    Jasper: *grins*
    "I found it in your bag- mind?"~ Alice on her kleptomania
    "We should go inside" *stops by side of truck uselessly*~ Bad set up for pansy kiss
    *blackscreen*~ Only time you don't deal with angsting Vampires or emotionless MC
    * Bella sees empty Cullen table*~ They realized sparkling vampires are gay b--ches.
    "You just don't belong in my world, Bella"~coming from the psychotic stalker himself
    "This is the last time you will ever see me"~ IF ONLY EDWARD, YOU F--KING FAIRY B--CH!
    *bella gets lost in woods*~ Because without Edward, Bella can't figure out how to even get out of some woods.
    *spinning camera over bella laying in the woods*~ to compensate for the total lack of emotion Kirsten Stewart(And Bella) always have
    "It's not normal, this behavior"~ Charlie, the ever-present fountain of observation and obviousness
    *edwards ghost appears*~ Just when HG thought that Edward would disappear for some screentime. Damn them for murdering my hope.
    "Hey, Um, what the hell us wrong with you? Just curious."~ Jessica(or Angela) asking the question we all want the answer to. And no- I don't mean S Meyer's "True love" Bull sh-t.
    "Maybe I'm crazy- but that's okay"~ When Stephanie had an epiphany about her characters then revisited her sparkle-porn version thought 'NVRMD EDWARD ROX'
    "I said she' a girl, and a,a-a friend" ~ Jacob being a man
    "Him and his cult"~ Jacob on Tribe
    "You should just avoid him"~ Says the girl who throws herself off a cliff to hear her ex. Never ask Bella for advice.
    "No more bikes"~Jake growing balls
    "You're apologizing for bleeding?"~ PUT IT TOGETHER JAKE. PLEASE. PUT IT TOGETHER AND GO KILL EDWARD.
    Bella "Facepunch" "Yeah, in the trailer they punched his face"~ LULZ. Self-explanatory.
    "What a marshmallow. You should hold on for someone with a better stomach"~Like vampires who glitter being the bar? Let me get my brother who can't stand ANY blood. Oh. Wait. I don't want my brother near her.
    "You're really hot"~ Bella finally, like, NOTICING JAKES BODY TEMP?
    "It's not you."~ WAY OVER-USED
    "I'm not good"~ Jake, OH BUT YOU ARE. ALLOW ME TO KISS YOU ALL OVER.
    *werewolves hop out of woods*~ Quilete tribe. HG Says: OH GOD SOMEONE STOP IT! SO COMICAL! PLEAS STOP EXISTING, S MEYER
    *shirtless Jacob in Bella's room*~ WTH BELLA?! TIME TO BE THE HORNY B--CH YOU ARE AND JUMP SOME JACOB BONES!
    Bella: "My hands are so cold. You're so warm"~ Bella, Oh the kinky ways you could warm them!
    "I have never met someone as prone to life-threatening idiocy!"~ THANK YOU, ALICE.
    "Bella, Werewolves are not good company"~ F--k off, Alice. I once thought you were the semi-redeeming factor of this.
    "I can't see past you and your pack of mutts!"~ Your face right now is priceless, Alice. I have decided I may love you. Only don't smack the wolves anymore.
    "Such a waste"~ Voturi on Edward.
    *Jane walks in*~ F--k yeah! A semi-passable Vampire!
    head Voturi dude, whoever he is *hungerly glances at Bella*~ YES! YES! EAT HER!
    "This might hurt a little." ~ Jane doing what we all wish we could.
    "It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time"~ asper on Bella. OH IF ONLY THIS WAS TRUE, JASPER.
    "It's always been him"~ Bella to Jake- NOT WHAT YOU WERE SAYING A HALF AN HOUR AGO, YOU FICKLE B--CH!

    HG's odd-ship win: Carlisle/Bella (provided he stops sparking like a fairy b--ch)

    Well there is 130 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Damn you, Twilight. Damn you.


    Dakota Fanning is too good to do Twilight movies. She can actually act.

    That cover goes with the story—and I use the word “story” very loosely—than the apple crap.

    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2010


    I liked her in War of the Worlds, in my opinion she’s a good actress.


    In my humble opinion, Twilight has got to be one of the biggest wastes of talent I’ve ever seen. Almost anyone in there can act (that I’ve seen) but… well just look at what they have to work with?

    • CommentTimeMar 12th 2010

    As the saying goes, “doesn’t matter how great of a cook you are if all your ingredients are literally shit”

    Except in Twilight’s case it’s the other way around. :P


    Well puppet, I meant that the actors were the cook, and the ingredients was the source.

    Though if we’re talking about the book themselves…


    Renesme, as defined in the Urban Dictionary.

    • CommentTimeMar 17th 2010

    @ Nate: