Not signed in (Sign In)

Categories

Vanilla 1.1.8 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

Welcome Guest!
Want to take part in these discussions? If you have an account, sign in now.
If you don't have an account, apply for one now.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2009
     

    Er, F—k My Life. It’s basically somewhere to go and tell stories of bad stuff that has happened to you, and people vote whether they agree or not, and therefore you deserved it.

  1.  

    O.

    I knew what the basic principle was (I love My Life Is Average), I just didn’t know what the ‘f’ stood for. Now I know.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2009
     

    I knew what the basic principle was

    Oh, right, wasn’t sure. :D

  2.  

    My sister also frequents ‘My Life Is Desi’...

  3.  

    A while back, but

    Walmart also had an entire wall of Twilight books. And another wall devoted to vampire fiction in general. facepalm

    That’s all my Wal-Mart has. They also have a few Harlequin romance books, and about ten “best-sellers.”

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2009 edited
     

    I’m… reading a Twilight/Harry Potter crossover…

    ... and it’s good. The Cullens are portrayed as emotionally normal, fallible people, who are powerless against wizard magic. Their fear of adopted-but-not-turned Harry learning something that they are powerless against is an interesting thought to ponder. But because he’s family they still support him in his homeschooling? It’s conflicting. But the character portrayal is great, the family acts like a real family.

    Also, Edward as moody older brother is adorably hilarious.

    Also? No Bella. hurrah! (Okay, well, infant!Bella, but only in passing)

  4.  

    I saw Stephenie Meyer on the CBS Morning News.

  5.  

    My brother started reading a Twilight PDF he got off the internets. Pretty funny to listen to him.

  6.  

    Twilight wouldn’t even bother me that much if people didn’t actually think that it was well-written.

    • CommentAuthorsimian
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2009
     
    Platypus, I've found that people usually can't distinguish between what is good and what they enjoy. They make the mistake of assuming that because they liked Twilight, that it must be "well written," or at least they think the concepts (good and enjoy) are somehow synonymous. You just need to educate them to appreciate the differences.

    It's OK to like crap. Just be able to recognize crap.
  7.  

    It’s OK to like crap. Just be able to recognize crap.

    That’s a good way to put it.

  8.  

    ^^New site motto. PLZ.

  9.  

    the FML is kinda mean actually. It’s going into more personal attacks.

    Wait till you get enough into SPN to get their FML. Of course, that entire show is one large FML... lol

  10.  

    Well, at the risk of sounding like an elitist, most Twilight fans don’t have a very clear grasp of what makes writing good or bad. It’s the type of writing that an eighth grader uses because they think it sounds sophisticated. Unfortunately, most people don’t develop their palate past that point, if the analogy makes sense.

  11.  

    It makes sense, but it’s especially saddening when you consider those hardcore Twilight fans way past the high school age.

  12.  

    hardcore Twilight fans way past the high school age.

    They creep me out a little.

    Does Stephenie Meyer’s writing improve as the series progresses? You know from really crappy to slightly less crappy? I was talking to my friend, a fan but not a die hard, and she said that her writing really improves from Twilight to Breaking Dawn. She was saying that it was sort of well-written though. I tried to argue but let it die so that she wouldn’t get annoyed or mad at me.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeNov 30th 2009
     

    I wouldn’t say it improves, but I think SMeyer does get better at conveying actual emotions. But I probably just think that because in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn she expands some of the story to Jacob’s POV, which is vastly, vastly better than Bella’s in every way.

  13.  

    I’ll probably read them all eventually. But Twilight made me want to beat my head against a wall.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 30th 2009
     

    Twilight isn’t like Eragon, where you could laugh the whole way through. When I read Twilight I felt like facepalming and headdesking every page.

  14.  

    Twilight, along with being annoying and facepalm-inducing, was just plain boring.

  15.  

    No, it was not boring, which is one point I’ll give it. I freely admit that I devoured Twilight, as with New Moon, and grew slowly less enamoured with it until after Eclipse, when I decided that I was not interested enough to read the next book.

  16.  

    Sorry, I meant it bored me. I know that a lot of people don’t find it boring. It’s probably because I wasn’t all that interested in it to begin with. Plus, I was already pretty sure I wouldn’t like it because I’d read so much about it, and I’d already been on here, so I didn’t have the advantage of being surprised by things, and I knew all the awefulness to look for. I may have liked it before I knew what to look for.

  17.  

    I don’t … The Twilight ‘Saga was nothing. I felt nothing, I burned through most of them without investing in anything. The books didn’t affect me at all other than causing very mild, subdued emotions (“Ugh, Jacob kissed Bella and Charlie high-fived him”).

    I do have feelings for the series on a whole, but I don’t really feel for them. That made no sense, right? But now I can’t think and I can’t explain.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 30th 2009
     

    No, it was not boring, which is one point I’ll give it. I freely admit that I devoured Twilight, as with New Moon, and grew slowly less enamoured with it until after Eclipse, when I decided that I was not interested enough to read the next book.

    That’s exactly what happened to me… I stopped about 1/4th of the way through Eclipse.

  18.  

    I will say that I was mildly interested when there was brief action instead of just angst and lust. I would want to know what would happen to the character(s), but I just didn’t care if that thing was good or bad.

  19.  

    It was addicting, is what it was…which doesn’t automatically mean quality, of course.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 30th 2009
     

    There is something about SMeyer’s writing that wants to make you squee somehow… I didn’t find Twilight all that boring.

  20.  

    I would want to know what would happen to the character(s), but I just didn’t care if that thing was good or bad.

    That was my attitude as well. Though, at the time, I was going through a phase when I had to finish novels.

  21.  

    I was going through a phase when I had to finish novels.

    I’m almost-always like that. I did finish Twilight. I have to be really, really bored/confused to quit a novel.

  22.  

    I read it about eleven or twelve times and really enjoyed it, and then I was parodying it not long ago, picked it up to read for serious, and was bored out of my skull. I don’t know what changed.

  23.  

    You know…. if you want to subtly torture and tease the twilight fan in your life…

  24.  

    Doesn’t he look dashing… ;)

  25.  

    RPattz looks a million times better as Cedric. =)

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeDec 3rd 2009 edited
     

    Can’t believe I didn’t post this sooner: Comedy musician Tom Smith reviews of New Moon, in song.

  26.  

    I thought RPattz in that pic was Henry Cavill (as Stephen Colly) for a moment.

    What’s weird is that he was the first choice to play Edward.

  27.  

    What’s weird is that he was the first choice to play Edward.

    AND HE WAS SO MUCH BETTER! Cavill just looks more like Edward…

  28.  

    But it would have destroyed his integrity.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeDec 4th 2009
     
  29.  

    I’ve got the first movie DLed right now and I’m going to try and watch it this weekend due to the dearth of football games. Hopefully I don’t break any nearby objects or catch a terminal illness or somesuch.

  30.  
  31.  

    That was a most righteous assist, Nate.

  32.  

    Watch well my most excellent brother.

    All I ask is that you tip a little to rifftrax so they can continue their awesome work.

  33.  

    But it would have destroyed his integrity.

    And RPattz would have faded into obscurity, while Cavill would have been mercilessly attacked by fangirls and would have dated Kristen Stewart.

    •  
      CommentAuthorsansafro187
    • CommentTimeDec 4th 2009 edited
     

    Will do once I get paid next.

    The commentary improves the movie’s watchability by an enormous amount.

  34.  

    The commentary improves the movie’s watchability by an enormous amount.

    Understatement of the year.

    Understatement – of – the – year.

  35.  
  36.  

    While we were watching LotR, it suddenly came to me- it’s all about hotness.

    Grima Wormtongue stalks Eowyn, he’s a creeper.
    Edward Cullen stalks Bella, he’s just oh so romantic.

    Not to mention that Eowyn could probably wipe the floor with Bella, too…

  37.  

    Not that I have anything against Mormonism, but I would like to point out something I read in a Mormon’s take on Twilight.

    This is Joseph Smith, Jr., founder of Mormonism:

    And this is Edward Cullen:

    I see nothing…

  38.  

    I read the same thing in the Sparkledammerung.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSMARTALIENQT
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2009 edited
     

    Ah, that’s what it was. I couldn’t find it when I tried to Google for it.

    I mean, honestly, they even have the same semi-smirk and the floppy combed-back bangs!

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeDec 6th 2009
     

    Eh, to be fair, you’re basing Edward’s appearance on a actor… I’m sure people imagined him differently in the books. xP

  39.  

    So Edward Cullen time-travelled to the 1800s and started his own religion, thereby influencing Stephenie Meyer and ensuring his own existence?

    I also want to note those people who thought that Matt Smith looked like RPattz.

    Though I don’t really see that much of a resemblance.

  40.  

    I just watched a camrip of New Moon. Pretty boring.

  41.  

    Grima Wormtongue stalks Eowyn, he’s a creeper.
    Edward Cullen stalks Bella, he’s just oh so romantic.

    Oh my gosh. That is so true; I should’ve thought about that earlier… But anyway, good point SWQ. :D

  42.  

    That reminds me of a funny (though it pains me to admit it) and pretty accurate SNL skit featuring Tom Brady where they explain how to avoid getting in trouble for sexual harassment.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     

    I saw this at the store on campus, and I just had to buy it.

  43.  

    Oh, man, there is an actual book? I want to buy it.

    I mean, I probably won’t, but from what I’ve read, it’s hilarious.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeDec 7th 2009
     

    I saw Twishite at Waterstones the other day. I was tempted enough to pick it up, but not enough to actually buy it. Heavens no. :D

  44.  

    I mean, I probably won’t, but from what I’ve read, it’s hilarious.

    Agreed. ;)

  45.  

    It’s abridged script time!!!!

    ROBERT PATTINSON
    Kristen, my family is dangerous. I mean, a single drop of blood whipped them into a hilarious frenzy.

    KRISTEN STEWART
    I noticed. So do I just avoid coming over for a week every month or something?

  46.  

    I love this line from Furious D.

    2. A woman has been sentenced to jail time for trying to pirate the movie New Moon.

    I’d have locked her up for thinking that New Moon was worth pirating.

    He also has this.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeDec 8th 2009
     

    @Cracked script – heh, just read that earlier today. Just one more reason why I love Cracked…

  47.  

    It has begun…

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     

    Waaaaiiiiit… like the real cast as extras, or perform the Cracked script?

    • CommentAuthorDamselfly
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     
    I'm pretty sure that ad has to be a scam, as far as I know, the Breaking Dawn film isn't confirmed or anything yet. Thank God.
    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeDec 9th 2009
     

    Oh! I get what you’re saying now. AdBlock blocked the image automatically, so I didn’t see it before…

    Although performing the Cracked script would still be hilarious. I call being Bella Kristen Stewart!

  48.  

    Dibs on Leah!

    (Well, not for this script obviously, but in Breaking Dawn she has some very sarcastic lines)

  49.  

    Man, we should reshoot Twilight but intentionally make it as bad as possible.

    Like, Swenson and whoever, probably sansa playing Bella and Edward but we film them in different countries and don’t even bother to make it match…

    My mind is atwitter with possibilities….

  50.  

    No, no, no, no, no… This is too much horribleness… brain implodes

  51.  

    Good thing you crossed me out, because I’m far too swarthy to play Edward.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009 edited
     

    Of course… you’re totally a Jacob :)

    Wait, did you say swarthy? :D

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    Mm, swarthy.

  52.  

    I did indeed.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    Agrees with Spanman

    Hee, swarthy.

  53.  

    I have no idea what you two are talking about.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    Neither do I.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    I’m going to give the standard response when a man doesn’t understand what a woman is doing: smile and nod.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    Hahaha, we should film stuff in completely different lighting/setting, and then either have somebody put them together (intentionally terribly) or just not bother to put it together at all and just have an awful lot of jump cuts.

  54.  

    jump cuts

    Clearly this is the answer. Jump cuts solve everything.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeDec 10th 2009
     

    I’m in. xD

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeDec 11th 2009
     

    @sansa- Including bad acting, terrible writing, and ugly people?

  55.  

    Everything.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeDec 12th 2009
     

    Alright, so I’m reading Nightlight, the Twilight parody, and I found a few gems that I felt had to be shared:

    Vegitarian in vampire-world means you drink every type of blood but human. Frankly, I think a more adequate analogy is “Kosher,” and a better method would be for a vampire word committee, similar to L’Acadamie française, to come up with an original word for it.

    (from her father) “Gosh Belle. When someone asks you, ‘What’s new?’ the correct answer is ‘not much.’ Besides, isn’t it a litte soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I’m imagining pages and pages would happen – with nothing but the names of the month on them.”

    “Italy?” I asked knowledgably. Despite the fact that Italians are known for their tan skin and garlic-laden cuisine, I knew from my research that the most powerful vampire family had decided to live there forever.

  56.  

    “I asked knowledgeably.”

    snerk

  57.  

    You MUST listen to the mp3 at this link.
    (although the sample is only 30 sec, the actual song is… 3 min long – it plays over the shorts vol 3 menu)

  58.  

    Chris Sims is now reading Twilight.

    I’m starting to think 50% of Twilight’s sales are just hecklers.

  59.  

    No! Really?

    /sarcasm.

  60.  

    No, it’s probably lower than that, judging from my statistics.

    It seems the mainly female population is still buying.

  61.  

    Yeah, you girls ruin everything for the rest of us. WAY TO GO.

  62.  

    ...I’m trying to think of something similar for males. I don’t recall any mass-selling, UBER!famous [products] that sold especially well to men, but were really quite idiotic.

  63.  

    shallow porn

    :|

  64.  

    ...I’m trying to think of something similar for males. I don’t recall any mass-selling, UBER!famous [products] that sold especially well to men, but were really quite idiotic.

    Playboy.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPearl
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2009 edited
     

    Quick! Close that can of worms!

  65.  

    Twilight basically is porn, though. Men just have enough sense not to hold up their version as something with artistic merit.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPearl
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2009
     

    That is true. Generally it is hidden under the bed, not put on the honorary place on the bookshelf.
    But Twiliight isn’t illustrated. :/

  66.  

    The reason Playgirl didn’t take off is because women apparently prefer their porn in ‘literary’ form, whilst men prefer it visually.

  67.  

    I think Steph might be right (which is why I said what I said).

    (Sansafro:) :/

    See above.

    Quick! Close that can of worms!

    We probably should.

  68.  

    I should probably elaborate, since it isn’t quite a direct comparison. I don’t think most women read Twilight for sexual gratification, although titillation is one of its appeals. It’s like porn because it takes something which is(or should be) amazing and wonderful and strips away all the attendant complexity, and then presents it to the consumer as base gratification.

    Men who consume pornography wish for crazy sex with unrealistic partners and don’t want to put up with things like dating or cuddling or all that other crap that goes with it. Consequently, women who consume Twilight wish for a “perfect” relationship with a “perfect” man, which requires no effort on the woman’s part and never has any true issues.

    Does that make sense how I wrote it? I was afraid I was going to start rambling.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeDec 15th 2009
     

    Gives Sansa an enormous silver trophy

    That explanation was Made of Win Tm , Sansa.

  69.  

    I’d also give you a trophy, but it would pale in comparison.

    Thanks for the clarification; I was misinterpreting that (duh).