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  1.  

    ^^I might have to check out more of their stuff.

    On an unrelated note, I am continually disappointed that the premise of The Host sounds so interesting to me, but it sounds like it’s slow and contains a lot of the problems that Twilight has in the romance department.

    Has anyone here read it?

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeMar 2nd 2013
     

    I know that it’s kind of like Animorphs, only the Yeerks are treated like a good thing, but I’ve avoided everything SMeyer wrote after the first book. Everything else I’ve learned via sporkings and discussions.

  2.  

    Up above Spanman mentioned it and how wasted the potential was.

    Yeah, if Meyer had an editor to reign her in and push her in a few spots, a lot of her stuff could end up at least mediocre.

    And pryorta, since the riff thing would be simulcast all over, we could echo it in spirit in date via phone. XD lol j/k

  3.  

    Up above Spanman mentioned it and how wasted the potential was.

    I would actually extend this to Twilight too. There are some interesting nuggets in there, but it all just gets glossed over for the LOVE STORY.

  4.  

    So, maybe Meyer’s problem is that she has some interesting ideas, but when she goes to write them, she gets overly fixated on parts of the story (usually the romance), and the good stuff gets shoved aside.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2013
     

    Nostalgia Critic did a pretty good editorial on why Twilight, though still pretty terrible, is not the worst thing ever. It’s pretty good. His basic point (if you don’t feel like watching all 10 minutes) is that while yes, Twilight is awful, it’s not the first bad or even dangerous piece of media that has existed, and society has never fallen before because of one of these dangerous things (Madonna, the Simpsons, etc. all get mentioned), so we’re going to evolve past Twilight too. As he puts it:

    The fact is, it’s not Twilight that we hate so much. It’s everybody’s reaction to it—the fact that society made it a hit. And we wonder what that says about us.

    And I think that’s a very accurate statement.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2013
     

    NC made some really good points, and the basic one is pretty true. It isn’t Twilight that really sets us on edge, it’s the issues that it brings up and that society dismisses in favor of looking at it as romantic that sets us on edge.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2013
     

    Yeah. Twilight is hardly the first really bad romance out there. It’s just that such a big deal is made out of it, as if it were actually good.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2013
     

    It doesn’t help that there’s a whole slew of books trying to ride it’s coattails. Looking at you, “Teen Paranormal Romance” section.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSoupnazi
    • CommentTimeMar 10th 2013
     

    “Teen Paranormal Romance”

    Cries

    The kid(’?)s(’?) section is bad enough with all the lifeless “kid falls into another world” stories, I didn’t need the books targeted at my age group to be terrible! I just want to read good books without dredging through dystopian and romance books. Sigh

  5.  

    What the Nostalgia Critic says is very insightful. You could say this is the fundamental flaw/motivation of all snarky criticism groups. Before Twilight there was Inheritance and before that there was some other tripe, but in the ’90s and before (remember, Eragon was first published way back in 2002) the livejournal/message board system wasn’t fully developed for use by non-computer people, so the spork/dissection as a virtual parlour game did not exist.

    •  
      CommentAuthorFalling
    • CommentTimeMar 15th 2013
     

    Before Eragon, there was Eye of Argon. Anyone read that? I’d love to turn that into a palour game some day :)
    And before that was the Inklings competing to see who could read Amanda McKittrick Ros’ writings the longest without laughing. Tolkien and Lewis :) Snarky criticism has no doubt always existed as long as their was something to snark at.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeMar 17th 2013
     

    Eye of Argon is sheer brilliant. I’ll never get over the flowers that bloomed lustfully.

    I’ve actually read a peace of Irene Iddesleigh. It’s one of the funniest things ever. What isn’t completely incomprehensible has hilarious other meanings.

  6.  

    I think what the critic misses is that many don’t think Twilight is the end of civilization any more than say… the Garbage Pail Kids movie (and remember his reaction to that?).

    Sometimes it just feels good to gripe about stuff and we humans like to use hyperbole.

    Oh, and speaking of: I got the T:BD2 riff the other day. Hope to watch it soon and report.

  7.  

    Team Tyler’s Van!

  8.  

    Update: Rifftrax’s kickstarter effort to live rift twilight has fallen through. (that is, the crew couldn’t get the rights to the movie)

    HOWEVER! There will still be a live show. They will be riffing instead…

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2013
     

    They couldn’t get the rights?! Aw, that’s sad. I was kinda sorta looking forward to that when I remembered it was a thing.

  9.  

    Yeah, this was what they said in their newsletter/update:

    We were unable to secure the rights to Twilight for our live show. (Remember, we have great news in just a paragraph or two, so don’t break out the pitchforks just yet.) We had long talks with the folks at Summit, who turned out to be very nice people and not Volturi-like in the slightest. They understood what we wanted to do and didn’t object to the idea. They just felt that the Twilight series is still very much a going concern for them, i.e. something that’s still going to earn them millions and millions more dollars, and it didn’t make sense to let a few guys crack jokes on top of it – at least not this summer. They’re probably right, dag nabbit, and they did leave the door open for us riffing Twilight in the future.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2013
     

    Boo.

  10.  

    Guys… gals… I… I seriously need to be talked down right now.

    I mean…

    There I was, in best buy, getting my dad his holiday gift when… I saw…

    I can barely type I’m trembling so bad.

    Trigger warning

    No, I’m not making that up (link not for the weak of heart).

    Just… just… can we go back to the sex toys now? We were so young and innocent back then. How can we go on in… in a world of THAT??

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 14th 2013
     

    What is there even to extend? There isn’t even enough story to add extra bits on top of it.

  11.  

    Exactly! The movie was in real time.

    This is the end days.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2013
     

    Edward is the Lion of Judah.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2013
     

    Well, I think the Meyer was hinting that Carlisle was God, so that makes sense.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2013 edited
     

    I was going to make a tasteless joke about “ultraviolet”, as in “don’t shine an ultraviolet light on that box and look too closely”, but I thought better of it. And then promptly thought worse of it and did it anyway. :P

    BUY IT, NATE. IT’S ONLY $16.93 PLUS FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $25! WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT IT!

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeJun 15th 2013
     

    I’m with swenson. Someone needs to get this thing and tell us what got taken out of the theatrical release. Morbid curiosity is a horrible thing.

    Also, I couldn’t help but notice that the case is purple. Brilliant and subtle jab, or simple accident?

  12.  

    Swenson, you forgot to account for all the medication I’d have to take after that film.

    Or you going to come and provide some moral support? Sit there and hold my hand as I go through it? lol

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    you forgot to account for all the medication I’d have to take after that film.

    Yes, three bottles of sleeping pills is expensive. Not to mention difficult to swallow all at once.

  13.  

    Add a mortar and pestle to your expense list.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013 edited
     

    And a chalice from a palace, just so you can go out in style.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    The Court Jester: great movie or greatest movie?

    •  
      CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    I JUST SAW THAT WITH MY MOM LAST WEEK. Seriously, when I was a kid that movie seemed normal, but now I wonder how many drugs were those writers on?

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    When I was a lad, I was gloomy and sad, until I saw The Court Jester.

    Danny Kaye was the best.

    •  
      CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    And the first step of all is to stand!

    And stand!

    And stand!

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013 edited
     

    And then get very mad at the floor.

    I used to be able to sing that all the way through from memory. I did, once. At my school production camp in year 12.

    But after all of my practice, the terrible fact is — I made a fool of myself!

    •  
      CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJun 16th 2013
     

    And now his blood must flow, light up the oil, this man must boil, this man named Giaco- mo? OH! NO!

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 17th 2013
     

    how many drugs were those writers on?

    Pretty sure the answer is all of them.

    One of my favorite bits is actually at the beginning:
    extremely long string of random hand signs
    She says no.
    Why’d it take so long?
    She stutters…

  14.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2013
     

    There are no words for how much that horrifies me, Nate. At least what it represents. I’m literally shuddering and retching.

  15.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2013
     

    You win this round, Professor Nate-iarty.

    I’m going holmes to see watson the television.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeJun 21st 2013
     

    NATHAN MIDDLENAME WINCHESTER YOU HORRIBLE PERSON

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. There ain’t enough brain bleach in the world.

  16.  

    Have I mentioned how much I love you guys? XD

    •  
      CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2013
     
    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeJun 22nd 2013
     

    Yeah, that’s a good one. The fact that the authors know the Twilight canon inside and out just makes it better.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPryotra
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2013
     

    Oh yes. That fic is all kinds of awesome.

    Just watching Castiel jerking Bella around and calling her out on her crap is glorious. Dean’s reaction to the wedding itself is pretty glorious as well.

  17.