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  1.  

    He scared the CRAP out of all the ambassadors! other countries in their entirety.

    Fixed that for you.

  2.  

    Nate: Oh, I just googled “Edward sparkles” to prove that it was the best scene from the movie and this was the first image to come up.

    You know… I have to admit Twilight is the perfect date movie. You can make out for fifteen minutes and not miss anything important to the plot.

    Also, I retract my earlier statement that baseball was the best part. Clearly the best part was… Charlie’s Mustache.

  3.  

    Actually, Twilight is a reason some have skipped dates.

    Twilight got some people gushing about Jacob and sounding like fanboi’s and creeping girls out.

    Or one could see it this way: Twilight is a test.

  4.  

    That’s why YOU DON’T WATCH THE MOVIE.

    Geez, it’s like you people have never been on a date before.

  5.  

    I haven’t. Wait, no, I mean, uh, that is to say….

    WHY ARE YOU REFERRING TO ME AS ‘YOU PEOPLE?’

  6.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 11th 2009
     

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 11th 2009 edited
     

    Oh lord, the moustache! But I must admit, TR has a better mustache. Also, that review is win. Funny, silly win.

    Also, alack alas for datelessness. I myself have never been on a date…tis the suck.

  7.  

    Oh lord, the moustache! But I must admit, TR has a better mustache.

    No, TR had THE mustache. All mustaches since there are pale homages.

    Also, that review is win. Funny, silly win.

    Of course it is! Do you think I would share anything less than win with ya’ll?

  8.  

    I found a comic detailing Stephenie Meyer’s life today. Her face was always stuck in “smug smirk” mode (even in the flashbacks of her as a kid) for the entire piece. Overall, it felt like this really bad fanfic where Meyer was just an ungodly Sue.

    And apparently, the narrator was a Transylvanian vampire.

  9.  

    Do you have a link, or was it on paper?

  10.  

    On paper.

  11.  

    I assume it was this comic?

  12.  

    Nate, I was trying so hard not to say anything but:

  13.  

    Juniper…

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    If you ever become king, know that I didn’t vote for you.

  14.  

    You bloody peasant!

  15.  

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009 edited
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009 edited
     

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    So they’ve made Twilight and New Moon as movies… do you think they’ll make Breaking Dawn?

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    Yes, but the script will need to be MASSIVELY overhauled. No uterus chomping, hopefully.

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    With any luck it’ll be edited even further beyond recognition than the Eragon film.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    Still, it might be spectacularly narmtastic if they don’t fix the script. :D

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    Hopefully…

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009 edited
     

    It’s an unfortunate situation for the directors. If they change the story, the fans will hate them, and if they’re true to it, the media, fans’ parents and assorted moral guardians will burn them.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009 edited
     

    Let’s hope they don’t get past Eclipse...

  16.  

    If they change the story, the fans will hate them, and if they’re true to it, the media, fans’ parents and assorted moral guardians will burn them.

    I assume it’s more like Raiders of the Lost Ark. If they try to film book 4, everyone’s faces will melt.

    •  
      CommentAuthorJeni
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009 edited
     

    I assume it’s more like Raiders of the Lost Ark Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If they try to film book 4, everyone’s faces brains will melt.

    In my opinion.

  17.  

    The difference though Jeni is one was just a fictional account.

    The other did happen.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    Please, I’m still trying to repress my memories of that film…

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    Oh, that film....so, so, so bad. Actually, what are you all talking about? There are only three Indiana Jones movies. Three. Only three.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2009
     

    So… back on topic?

  18.  

    So ummm…. Twilight sucks!

  19.  

    Actually, I think Twilight is a legitimate peer of both Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights.

    I suppose I ought to qualify that statment: inthat the hero’s in both are crazy and the heroines in both are also crazy.

  20.  

    o.O That’s a lot of hidden text. But anyway, yes, they are indeed making a film for Breaking Dawn. Hopefully Bella will black out at the right times.

  21.  

    Blacking out is such a cop out.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2009
     

    Blacking out is a useful way to transition between chapters. According to the Tao of Pao, anyway.

  22.  

    A list of useful ways to transition between chapters:

    sunset
    bed time
    nightmares/dreams
    getting knocked out
    falling asleep

  23.  

    Oh dear...

  24.  

    ^^Will her husband seriously never see that worldwide proclamation of her love for a teenager/young adult?

  25.  

    That was appalling. She clearly isn’t paying enough attention to Spunk Ransom to notice his trolling.

    Also, saw this on a certain imageboard tonight:

    Pretty much the same inane nonsense that creepy cougar was rambling about.

  26.  

    That list=win.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2009
     

    That article= HOLYCRAPONACRACKEROHDEARGODWHY???????????????????

    She’s gotten into stalker territory! And, and… yipes, eek, ewwwwwwwwww!

  27.  

    along with ten million other women teenage girls.

    Fixed.

    although I’m never keen to read about his possible real-life relationship with co-star Kristen Stewart.

    What the hell is wrong with you? Poor middle-aged woman, the 23-year-old might have a girlfriend that’s his age.

    Little did I know that I’d soon be a risk on the roads, nearly driving into the back of buses while mooning over posters of him.

    Gag.

    ‘Have you seen Twilight?’

    Yes, and if anything, that makes him less attractive.

    Cullen, hero of Twilight and New Moon, is the sexiest character that could ever be created for womankind.

    Rob needs to get a restraining order against her… very soon before she learns where he lives.

    who suppresses his love for Lizzie Lizzy

    A nitpick, I know, but that’s how it’s spelled in the book.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2009
     

    Actually, I think the spelling varies by publisher. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen an edition that was -ie.

  28.  

    ^^Well, never mind about that then, but Mr. Darcy is not trying to keep her sisters from unfavorable suitors. He tries to keep Bingly from marrying Jane because she’s below his social class, and her family is annoying. He never tries to protect her sisters, as far as I’ve gotten anyway.

    I didn’t post that part of her quote, but she says that he tries to keep her sisters from unfavorable suitors.

  29.  

    Spoilers:

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    Spoilers:

  30.  

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

  31.  

  32.  

  33.  

    Anyone here going to sneak into the theatres on Saturday to see New Moon?

    I was mulling over the idea

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009 edited
     

    I’m going to the premiere.

    I’m bringing earplugs and wearing an Anti-Tshirt. I’ll design that on Wednesday.

    EDIT: And maybe I’ll take notes and write a snarky review for II, if Sly desires one.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009 edited
     

    I really wanted to go at midnight for the lulz, but I don’t know anyone who’s willing to go with me. Shucks. Otherwise, I am so going on opening day.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    I don’t think there are any plans yet…

  34.  

    You are such fan girls.

  35.  

    wearing an Anti-Tshirt. I’ll design that on Wednesday.

    I wanted to do this but… this:

    I don’t know anyone who’s willing to go with me.

  36.  

    Take an RPattz doll, or a little paper cut out of him.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    Heh, you should get on of those life-sized cardboard Edward and bring it to the theater with you. :D

  37.  

    Hahaha. But I want back up when the Twitards attack….. I suppose I could throw the cutout and then run when they all jump on it.

  38.  

    No, what you need to do is take a cardboard cut out of Edward but pimp it out, drag-queen style. Give Ed some nice red, sparkly lips, eye-liner, maybe put one of your lacy tops on him (might have to pin it in the back to stay on) and give him a few bubble thoughts like, “omg, I’m so famous I love myself!!!1”

    Take THAT into the theatre with you.

  39.  

    ^^Lol. Really.

    I would love to do that, but I would still need someone to go with. It’s no fun to mock something when no one is there to enjoy it with you, other than drag-queen RPattz.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    Pshh, its like you’re going with somebody if you buy a ticket for the cardboard Edward. :P

  40.  

    This is true. I can talk to him as if he is a person.

  41.  

    Tis true.

    I would offer to go with you but

    1. I’m a stranger
    2. I don’t have any candy
    3. you are also a stranger
    4. I don’t go to movies with people who don’t share their candy
    5. I couldn’t accept any candy you if you did offer it because you are a stranger.

    You see, it is hopeless. :(

  42.  

    ^^I would not offer to go with you for the reasons you listed above.

    I need an anti-Twilight friend to go with. I don’t think I have any. I have some who are indifferent.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    I’m going with a bunch of rabid fangirls. They’re duck-taping my mouth during the movie, but I am allowed to wear an anti shirt. SQUEE.

    I should look into the price of a cardboard Edward. I like this idea. xD

  43.  

    My cousin said I could go with her and her friend, but she said that she would beat me if I talked and made fun of it. Plus, she lives sort of far away, and I wouldn’t be allowed to go probably. I think it premieres on a school night.

    •  
      CommentAuthorPuppet
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    It premiers on Friday…. wouldn’t that mean you wouldn’t have to get up early the next day?

  44.  

    Hmmm… that’s true. I really thought it premiered in the middle of the week. I’m just not sure it would be fun when the people I’m with give me dirty looks and punch me every time I say something or yell “DERRR!” when Bella jumps off the cliff. Though it something to consider. I could make a kickass anti shirt.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    I would so make an anti shirt. If that fails, I will tape a piece of paper to my shirt that says HERE FOR THE LULZ on it.

  45.  

    I’m trying to think of a good idea for a T-shirt.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    Hmm. Make a list.

    Top Ten Reasons Why Twilight Sucks

    10. Bella has no discernible personality other than obsessing over Edward and whining.
    9. Come on, it has a c-section via teeth. Really?
    8. It also has a 17 year old fall in love with an infant.
    7. It suggests jumping off cliffs to spur a hallucination is a good idea
    6. Attempted suicide is regarded as romantic
    5. It suggests if your man leaves you, months of your life cease to exist.
    4. Edward whines. A lot.
    3. Jacob is congratulated for kissing Bella against her will.
    2. It glorifies stalking, obsession, and psychotic behavior.
    1. Vampires DO NOT SPARKLE.

  46.  

    ^^That’s a great idea! That’s what I will do.

    I also thought of saying that I’m “Team Harry” and then quoting Stephen King.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2009
     

    Happy to help. The list isn’t particularly clever except for #1 :D

  47.  

    Well, I’m making up my own list, but I might use some of those, definitely #1.

  48.  
  49.  

    I’m going with my sister and her Anti-Twilight friend. Should be fun, but I feel bad about spending the money on Twilight stuffs. I’m thinking about just waiting until it comes out on youtube, though I’ll probably end up going anyways.
    RE: Article:

    “They were like, ‘We did this for you’ … I didn’t know what to say — ‘Thank you, guys?’”

    Oh my God, that is SO FREAKY! Wha—Why would ANYONE open up wounds on their necks so someone could suck the blood out of them?! And why would anyone think Pattinson would consent?!

    Pattinson said he feels vulnerable at big film events such as premieres, where he could be the target of an overly obsessive fan or even a terror attack.
    He has difficulty coping with so many people trying to “ambush” him in public and at home.

    AWWWW! huggles Rob Pattinson YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS EVEN IF I DON’T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE! That’s just really sad, though. This is getting WAAAAY out of hand.

  50.  

    The nicest, most kind thing a female can do for Robert is to ignore him. He needs to find himself a girl somewhere where they can meet and interact naturally (college, golf course, bar, racetrack, etc). The rest need to just leave him alone.

    Still, he sort of asked for it what with taking the part. I wonder if he knew the risk…

  51.  

    Poor, Robert. I feel bad for him too. It’ll be years before the crazies stop mobbing him.

    I wonder if he knew the risk…

    Probably not… Twilight, while popular before the movie, didn’t start to become a craze until right before the movie came out. At least, I never heard much about it until last year when the movie was coming out. I heard a few people mention it the year before, but I didn’t even really know what it was until last year.

  52.  

    He’d never heard of it. He thought it was just some vampire movie.

  53.  

    Poor, poor RPattz. D=

  54.  

    Someone should ask him
    “So how does it feel to have THE Axe effect??”

  55.  

    Some theaters around my area are doing special double showings where you can watch Twilight then New Moon following.

    So help me I half want to go. (i have such issues) Who’d join me?

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeNov 15th 2009 edited
     

    If playing Edward Cullen puts Rob into such misery, why does he even bother participating in the franchise anyway? Why not just reject the role instead of exposing himself to more Twitardery?

    Also, count me among the people who never heard of Twilight until last year. Hopefully after the Breaking Dawn movie comes out, people will have forgotten all about it.

  56.  

    If playing Edward Cullen puts Rob into such misery, why does he even bother participating in the franchise anyway? Why not just reject the role instead of exposing himself to more Twitardery?

    He’s under contract for one, and for two, the golden Hollywood rule is DON’T BURN BRIDGES.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 15th 2009
     

    If playing Edward Cullen puts Rob into such misery, why does he even bother participating in the franchise anyway? Why not just reject the role instead of exposing himself to more Twitardery?

    Because this is his break-out role, so he will always be associated with these movies, in the same way Jack Nicholson will always be associated with Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. He might as well make some money off of it while he can.

    I actually was aware of the series before the movies (blame that on my sister), but I didn’t care much.

  57.  

    I first found out about the series a couple years ago when the school librarian gushed about how great it was.

    • CommentAuthorWiseWillow
    • CommentTimeNov 15th 2009
     

    I became aware of it a year ago due to cultural osmosis- heard tons of girls in my dorm talking about it. Borrowed the books, read them all in a day, shrugged. Couple days later someone mentioned it, and I said they were ok. Then I was reading book reviews and all of a sudden it hit me- WTF? Stalking, obsession, complete lack of personality (I did notice the annoying constant whining while reading it). Like half a year later I found y’all.

    A couple of my friends had a phase last year of “OMG Edward”, but it wasn’t in a fangirl way, more in the way that I will gush over Christian Bale. Now they’ve kinda gotten out of it and go “eek, stalker”. But they still think he’s hot. A creeper, but hot. And they like Taylor Lautner’s abs (as I think a certain Imp has admitted in the past).

  58.  

    I half want to go. (i have such issues) Who’d join me?

    Do you have candy?

  59.  

    That’s some catch, Catch-22.

  60.  

    That’s some candy.

  61.  

    •  
      CommentAuthorMoldorm
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2009
     

    Candy?

    I have CHOCOLATE.

  62.  

    C’mon Moldorm, we’ll go have candy and chocolate without them.

  63.  

    Darn it Twilight… Why must you give me reasons to speak positively about you?

    (TL:DR edition: the Twilight series is one of the leading movies in changing the business culture of Hollywood, which, if you know anything about it, has been needing to be altered for FAR too long)

    I hate it when a great “end” comes about through questionable “means”. =(

    Also, for those curious: (and try to bear LotR and Twilight being mentioned together)

    Summit, whose executives declined to be interviewed, took a page from the playbook of “The Lord of the Rings” by shooting the second and third films back-to-back this summer.

    When director Peter Jackson made his three “Lord of the Rings” films simultaneously 10 years ago, it was a novel idea that reduced costs because actors, sets, costumes, locations and other items only had to be assembled and paid for once.

    Similarly, by shooting the next two “Twilight” movies together, Summit kept the cost of the third film, “Eclipse,” due out June 30, around $60 million, one source said.

    “What I like is they didn’t have a long window (between films), they went in to make a franchise, they didn’t go in to see if they had a franchise,” said Warren Zide, producer on the “American Pie” and “Final Destination” movies.

  64.  

    Interesting article, Nate.

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 16th 2009
     

    Now to wash the taste of that out of your mouth, here’s this. Here’s a sample:
    “It’s like a huge hole has been punched through my chest”
    No, a hole being punched in your chest feels like this
    (clip from Bram Stoker’s Dracula)
    And I assumed you were like totally okay with that, or else you wouldn’t be dating a vampire.