I seriously doubt Lautner is on anything other than a good workout routine and various supplements. Accusing him of steroid abuse just smacks of sour grapes.

I wasn’t talking to you.

I wasn’t the one who said Taylor Lautner’s Abs. That was Danielle. I said RPattz’s hair.

Just to set the story straight.

I never said anything about roid abuse. :D

Nevermind, it was you. I thought it was Klutor for some reason.

I hate to break this to you mah dear but he’s on roids, which is cheating.

#4 just… makes me want to cry so much.

Let us mourn for the passing of #4 in Nate’s link…

And rejoice for the awesomeness that is Headtrip!

Bwahah, that’s pretty hilarious. :D

^^That’s awesome. I hope that’s real

Oh please oh please oh please! How awesome would that be if an anti got to win?!

Unfortunately, I’m not willing to pay for postage for this thing. Yes, 50 cents (or however much it costs to send a postcard) is too much for me if it’s spent doing something Twilight-related… no matter whether Smeyer gets the money or not.

If it is shopped then, well, there are people out there with Twi-tattoos.
True fact.

Also, a quote from SM herself: “And stalking doesn’t scare me. I’ve never stalked anyone (yet), but I think I would be AWESOME at it.”

Firstly – don’t abuse the A-word, Meyer. It’s a perfectly cool and often-used word that has done nothing wrong.
Secondly – so I take it someone accused your characters of being stalkers to your face? You poor thing. When I was 16, my older cousin (and only critic in my life at that time) accused me of creating a whole cast of emotionally stunted characters. I didn’t get defensive about it – I learned from it.
Which brings me to…
Thirdly – do you honestly see nothing wrong with stalking someone? Seriously? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?

“And stalking doesn’t scare me. I’ve never stalked anyone (yet), but I think I would be AWESOME at it.”

This is not even funny. Stalking is an act of harrassment—repeatedly showing up at someone’s doorstep, constantly following them around and sending them creepy messages is NOT romantic. It is terrifying—I’ve only had this happen once to someone I know, and I admired her for how calmly she took it, but she had to change her cell phone number and repeatedly threaten to call the police before he would stop. THAT IS NOT A LOVE STORY, JUST AS LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD IS NOT A LOVE STORY.

Someone explain to me why people are so goddamn stupid??

Twilight 4 movie review.

I lol’d so much…

and the Bronte sisters.

Well, there’s your first problem. When I think “Bronte sisters”, I think “Wuthering Heights”, and that is most assuredly not a romantic book. It’s an excellent one, to be sure, but definitely not a happy little romance story! I haven’t read Jane Eyre or other books by the Bronte sisters, though, so maybe those ones are a bit more romantic?

Well, the from the little I recall, Jane Eyre wouldn’t work, because she actually stood up for her principles! For a while anyway. But it’s been a year or more? since I read it the second time; I’ll have to pick it up again.

I want to see the new movie? I’ve only seen the trailer for it once on The King’s Speech so I think it’s new.

I suppose Heathcliff was an archetypal BadBoy™ by some definitions, but in the actual book he was most definitely a psycho first (and last, for that matter) and so was Catherine version 1. There is eventually a romance, in like, the last few pages that kinda worked, but for the most part, every other relationship (romantic or not) was abusive in one way or another. Every single person.

So, actually, rather a lot like Twilight. Or Eclipse or whichever one used Wuthering Heights

The difference being, of course, that in Wuthering Heights it was intentional!

Yeah, I know! Kinda like Romeo & Juliet – the whole screwup happens not because their parents “just don’t get it”, it happens because everyone in the play (except for Mercutio and prince Escalus) is a raging idiot.
We’re supposed to learn a lesson from it, while sniffing into our tissues because “they died so young“.
And yet most people miss that part.

And I’d add Benvolio to the list of not-idiots.

Oh yeah. I would say he’s less idiotic than Mercutio, although Mercutio is definitely more entertaining. Whatever happened to Benvolio?

the Nurse

I don’t know, I found Nurse annoying. She just wouldn’t shut up. :/

Gonna have to disagree with you there. When we first see Benvolio, he’s trying to cheer up Romeo (who is being emo about his crush on Rosaline), telling him that everything’s going to be all right. When we first see Mercutio, he’s like “Damn, Romeo, snap out of it! It’s gonna kill you, man!”
He keeps warning Romeo not to act on instinct and hormones. In other words, he saw it all coming a mile away.

Oh, that’s true, I didn’t remember that part. In that case, they’d be about the same level of idiocy.

Kinda off-topic, but I’ve been thinking about doing a re-write of Romeo & Juliet from Benvolio’s perspective. Just to get the story from an outside perspective (i.e. saying ‘you two realize that you’re being idiots, right?’ to the main characters)

That would be really interesting! I love the idea. Get the idea out there to combat the common misconception :)

If you do it in English sonnet form there will be much rejoicing.

^I hear ya, brother.

Now that’s how it’s done, son!

There is one – and only one – vampire with an “angelic face”.

In other news – we all know about the Eddy-breaking-Bella’s-car scene in Eclipse, right?
I always thought it was creepy and wrong….
....but then I read das mervin’s spork, in which she put up the actual scene in its entirety.

I was thoroughly disgusted.

Whoa, easy there… I’ve been having trouble with my connection for a while now – knocking me off at random times.

Lemme see…

rummages around
I got a jar of disturbing psychotic sexism!

^Dammit!
Sorry ‘bout that.

Could you still copypaste the link and check it out, though?

I love those sporks! (should I have linked them sooner? I just sort of assume I’m the last to know anything)

Thank you Klutor.

I think it’s a rule: Supernatural Fans make the best Twilight sporkers.

And yes I’m binging on Mervin now. Damn you Klutor! How will I ever get published with these distractions?

Of course the first few seconds are heresy but entertaining.

There’s something so fake about all the faces in Twilight posters…makes everything ten times creepier than it should be.

And once again, Eclipse sweeped the MTV Movie Awards.

The trailer for Breaking Dawn is out.

Oh, that hurts.

It’s the moment when it occurs to her that she might be pregnant, so it stands to reason that she wouldn’t be showing.

I suppose. Still, the trailer makes this out like it’s EPIC when I’m thinking “Congrats, Bella, you got married straight out of high school, and are now pregnant. You’re transition from ‘modern independent quasi-feminist’ to ‘white-trash stereotype’ is nearly complete.”

@Klutor: true, but the hell spawn fetus can’t be that big, so I’m wondering how she can feel anything at all.

If we’re going to apply maths to a canon that has already raped and ravaged physics, biology, geography and history….

Let’s say Renesmee was about 60cm (2ft) long and 5kg (11 pounds) heavy at birth – pretty damn conservative, but work with me here.
The pregnancy lasted two weeks, which means that she had two weeks after her conception to reach that size. In other words, after a day or two, she was already pretty sizeable; let’s say about the size of a marble-hard golf ball. There’s no way in hell you won’t feel it when there’s something like that hanging around in your lower abdomen.

Like Spanman said: SQUICK.

I knew a kid who was allowed to read Twilight but wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter because of OMGwitchcraft! She censored herself actually, and didn’t read the last book (possibly the one before that also) because she heard what was in it.

The pregnancy lasted two weeks, which means that she had two weeks after her conception to reach that size. In other words, after a day or two, she was already pretty sizeable; let’s say about the size of a marble-hard golf ball.

Actually she was pregnant for more like four weeks (can you believe I just looked this up? GAH), but your estimation of size is still right since she’d already been on her honeymoon for at least a week and was probably pregnant for several days before she noticed the painful, oddly carnivorous lump in her abdomen.

All right, now I’m really squicked out. STOPPING.

But they’ll have to make 2, cause there will be 2 movies.

Because they are copying Harry Potter.

Because they are copying Harry Potter.

Also because they’re suffering from the illusion that the bulk of BD’s pages are somehow not taken up by fluffy filler. Seriously, you can take the entire book and adapt it, and then you’ll end up with a 40-minute-long “movie”. 50 minutes at the most.

Of course I meant both parts put together.

Part I: Eternal Happiness is just a Bloody Mutant Birth Away.
Part II: Why Make your Climax consist of an Epic Battle when you can make it consist of Nothing More Than People Bitching and Making Out?

^Question 1 – no, I haven’t. I’ve read a number of different sporks and snark-script versions, though.

Question 2 – Now that’s a good idea.:-)

But I like the first movie because it knows how ridiculous it’s being.

I haven’t seen the Twilight riffs. Nate, please do organise a viewing party. Just wait till I have time to get Skype, in two weeks :) thanks.

Also because they’re suffering from the illusion that the bulk of BD’s pages are somehow not taken up by fluffy filler. Seriously, you can take the entire book and adapt it, and then you’ll end up with a 40-minute-long “movie”. 50 minutes at the most.

Uh… you do realise that most of the first movie will be taken up by vampire/human porn and general wedding squee, right? That can go on for as long as the filmmakers need it to.

and for helping me develop an insatiable, crippling addiction to TvTropes.
Actually, that second one’s all your darn fault, Nate Winchester. I can’t decide whether to thank you profusely or utter maledictions upon you under my breath.

Most people do both. Also, I can’t tell you just how much you improved my day. Feel free to vandalize my Trope user page in revenge. XD

Has anyone ever met or been a die-hard Twilight fan who made it all the way through the fourth book? I happen to hold somewhat old-fashioned ideas regarding chivalry, romance and the fairer sex, as you can probably tell, and I honestly just can’t square the wistful and dreamy longing for Edward, which I can at least partially understand even though it annoys the crap out of me, with the frankly grotesque violence of That One Scene in Breaking Dawn. I don’t mind violence when it has a purpose, but I don’t go out of my way to find slasher films or stuff like that. Honestly, what do people who still like this series when they’re done make of that scene? Do they just pretend it never happened? What does the author herself make of it? Any input? I saw you guys were talking about this recently, so I figured it was worth asking.

I know 2 people that were a twihards. One of them is actually Asahel’s wife, and I think she pretty much jumped ship at book 4 (at least, he says she admitted that maybe it had problems at that point). The other person was… a little weird, so I don’t think book 4 slowed them down at all.

Unless there’s some whole psychology thing about pregnancy in general there. Let’s face it, giving birth is kind of squick so… maybe the book helps the fans deal with it or something.

“vandalize your Trope page?” My dear sir, I am no vandal. And revenge, as I’m sure you know, is best served when unexpected and long premeditated. My ends will not be served by any mere act of defacement…

You know why this hidden comment is funny? Because I clicked on the link without even thinking about it. Well played indeed. You jerk me about by a very short chain.

Just remember that no matter what… I win.

Thanks for the input! Now, if you happen to be approaching the issue from a traditional Judeo-Christian perspective, the pain and mess and general ugliness of birth is either A). A reminder of the curse of Eve and humanity’s fallen nature, B). a paradox (through pain and fear comes the joy and peace of life), in keeping with the general tradition of Christianity to like paradoxes (only through death comes life, etc.) or both, or something else in combination with those.

Hell, everybody, Christian or not, knows there’s something special about birth. It’s one of the two gates of life, a mystical and mysterious force. From that point of view, the Scene is now not only gross on the purely biological level but also a direct contradiction of the sole reason why birth is not merely a disgusting necessity. It’s a freaking demonic child eating its mother. It should be obvious to anyone, even without going into the philosophy of why, that there’s something quite off there.

Let’s avoid a flame war, but I have to wonder how much of it all might play in the culture view of abortion. It seems lately to be a common view (of men and women) of children less as blessings and more as parasites. So, you take the SuperSue child of EdSue & BellaSue…

Well, I don’t need to tell you where some of those ponderings lead.