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  1.  

    @Steph, other than Scott Pilgrim or Up in the Air?

  2.  

    SHE WAS IN SCOTT PILGRIM??? NOW I DOUBLY HAVE TO SEE IT!!!

    /end caps abuse.

    Anyway, so I wrote a deconstruction of Edward’s and Bella’s relationship which I happen to really like and I think you guys would really like it too, though it is a bit heavy on the angst, and dark enough to deserve an M rating. Warning for a bit of neck-snappin’ violence.

    It’s here. (While I’m ahead, I might as well ask for reviews. I accept the ones you can give if you’re not logged in. Hint, hint.)

    ——-

    So this made me think about a few things Twilight-related. Namely, the side-effects of still talking and thinking about Twilight after like two years, after most of the rest of the internet has stopped mocking it on a daily basis. (Now, weekly, I’m not so sure…)

    For me, it’s actually kept me writing Twilight fanfiction even after I discovered II and the anti way of thinking, because I was constantly exposed to it, and the characters and story were in my general consciousness so much. And I’m the kind of person who writes things out of her system, so guess what happened next…

    And not all of them ended up being kill!fics because while I have a great capacity for lols, wth-ness and mockery, I don’t have much of a capacity for despising things. Twilight apparently wasn’t major enough for me to stop looking for the best in it. (Not to make myself sound like a saint or anything. :P)

    That’s what I think, anyway…

    Does anyone have any comments on this theory? Any similar experiences? Or am I the only one?

  3.  

    Wow – I loved that fic, Steph. I really did.

    Very angsty, very realistic, very in-character… and – as Captain Obvious as this is going to sound, I’m just going to say it anyway – very dark.
    And here I thought I was the only one who created Twilight fanfiction Now With Added Violence. Hehe, awesome.

    There are a couple of fanfics and oneshots out there that I could definitely recommend to any anti. “Chagrin” and “He Was A Quiet Man” by Estora, “Friday’s Child” and “Moves in Mysterious Ways” by Lisse, “The Peaceable Kingdom” by orange crushed…. and then, of course, “Eternal Night” by Asahel and “How Twilight Should Have Ended” by Juniper.

    That list just got a new addition: “Skeletons”.

    Also, about the whole bashing-thing….. sheesh, I don’t know. I guess I’m dangerously insane dark and twisted enough to get a huge kick out of sporking and hating, although I certainly don’t have an Encyclopedia Dramatica-attitude towards everything. I’m overall a very positive and optimistic person, but the light has to be balanced by the darkness (and now I’m sounding like a phony philosopher… oh joy).

    Twilight apparently wasn’t major enough for me to stop looking for the best in it.

    The best parts of the movie were the music and the attractive chicks, lol. In all seriousness, though, that’s a very noble attribute right there. That’s the difference between a blind optimist, a wangsty emo-pessimist and a well-adjusted individual. The first one only sees good, the second one only sees bad and the third one (to quote A Knight’s Tale like the good little pop-culture-abuser I am) has learned “to take the bad along with the good”.

    If you look hard enough, there is beauty in everything…... even if it’s just a little. In the TA&A, for example, Artimaeus makes a point of quoting paragraphs that he thinks are actually decent. The same with Falconempress in the You Slay Me-sporks. Hell, even some of my earliest stories – sickeningly, laughably horrible as they were – contain some good descriptions, good fight scenes and even some fridge brilliance here and there.

    Also, if you get exposed to something over and over again, you will start to reflect it. This is a double-edged sword, as are most things in life (too much of a good thing, and all that), but still – you, at least, seem to have handled it exceptionally well.

    tl;dr – I think your fic is teh awesome. I also agree with what you said. Kudos. So now you can pat yourself on the back.;-)

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 2nd 2010
     

    Yeah, it was great! I left a pretty short review, but I really, really like what you did with it, Steph. You achieved what I’d previously assumed was impossible—you made me not only sympathetic for Bella, you made me horrified for her! The abusive relationship finally laid bare for everyone to see, even Bella, and how she decides she has to go through with it to save everyone. (especially with the Alice thing… I never really disliked Alice, even in the original books, so I’m guessing here she knows what happened and feels bad for Bella, but can’t do anything because Edward can read her mind too)

    I mentioned this in the other review, but I really mean it. Now I just want Bella to get turned into a vampire, so she can rip Edward’s head off.

  4.  

    D’awww, thanks guys :) glad it worked.

    And swenson? You have given me an idea…

  5.  

    You’re welcome, Steph.

    I can’t wait to finish up Bad Apple so you guys can rip it to pieces have a nice pleasant look at it.

    Although, one small thing about your fic: Bella says that she’s seen Edward “kill and dismember” before… was this refering to Victoria?
    Cause I know that he didn’t kill James – they just had an MTV Movie Award-winning battle (in the movie, at least) and then Jasper and Emmett and Alice killed the guy, because, according to Carlisle, Edward was “better than this” (way to go, dad; picking favourites among your litter!).

    But still, like I said, I really loved Skeletons.

    you made me not only sympathetic for Bella, you made me horrified for her!

    Seconded.

    The abusive relationship finally laid bare for everyone to see

    Truth. It’s been a while since I’ve last read something that sent shivers down my spine from beginning to end, all the way through.

    You have given me an idea…

    Kill Teh Bassturde!!!111!!

  6.  

    Yes, I was referring to Victoria.

    Holy. I had no idea of the effect it would have. I think I got desensitised to writing it half-way through, and thought, is this a bunch of emotionless random angst?

    I should specify that Bella ripping Edward’s head off may not actually kill him. Also that he’s got to do more terrible things than just kill Charlie to warrant being killed himself.

  7.  

    Steph, you are amazing. Bella came off as the crazy, manipulative, but still human and (in your version) a pitiable figure. Really hoping to read more, your writing is wonderful.

  8.  

    Aw, thanks, Willow! I’m glad you like it. I do have some other stuff on my profile if you’re interested…

    (Also, did you review on the site as well as here? I don’t want to come off as some review-mongering person, but… well, I am :D )

  9.  
    • CommentAuthorDeborah
    • CommentTimeNov 5th 2010
     
    I saw a bunch of twilight products on another site.
    There was a shadow-outline thingy for your wall, another creepy Edward doll, perfume, chocolate, a jewelry box that looked like Edward's hands, and probably a few other things that I don't remember,
  10.  

    Yes, I was referring to Victoria.

    Oh okay.
    Nice one, Wardo – you’re always like “Beauty equals Goodness” and “Thou shalt not Kill”... then you take out one of the hottest characters in the whole damn series.

    should specify that Bella ripping Edward’s head off may not actually kill him.

    What do you mean? Victoria was killed that way, wasn’t she? And according to the New Moon-movie, that’s the Volturi’s MO, too.

    @Bella’s womb – what is this I don’t even…. I have a strong stomach, but my eyes aren’t so lucky. There are no words to describe the wrongness of that thing.

  11.  

    Hmm…. well I guess I owe steph a review…

    (will get to it later hopefully)

  12.  

    Thanks, Nate.:)

    Nice one, Wardo – you’re always like “Beauty equals Goodness” and “Thou shalt not Kill”... then you take out one of the hottest characters in the whole damn series.

    Yeah, Victoria was awesome.

    should specify that Bella ripping Edward’s head off may not actually kill him.
    What do you mean? Victoria was killed that way, wasn’t she? And according to the New Moon-movie, that’s the Volturi’s MO, too.

    I write according to book canon, and in book canon you need to burn the vampires and scatter their ashes so that they don’t come back. That’s how indestructible they are. I don’t think it showed it in the Eclipse movie, but in the book at one stage they’re ripping off arms and stuff, and the arms actually crawl back and reattach themselves to the vampires. Which is some gross mental imagery right there. Also less awesome than it sounds.

    Bree Tanner’s full of it too.

    I don’t think Bella is the sort of person to store up so much hate and hold a grudge long enough to coldly and calculatingly tear his limbs off one by one and put them onto a fire. She’d be more of a flash in the pan girl—and then apologise for it later. I’m all for strong women, but Bella just… isn’t. Like, really isn’t. It’s concievable at a stretch that Edward might kill Charlie, but not that Bella would really do all that it took to really kill Edward.

    Or is it… Having written that, I’m not sure that what I just said holds true. I already had a scene in mind for Edward’s death, but now it could go 50-50 either way as to what I choose…

    @Bella’s womb – what is this I don’t even…. I have a strong stomach, but my eyes aren’t so lucky. There are no words to describe the wrongness of that thing.

    I know, I mean, who even DOES that?

  13.  

    Yeah, Victoria was awesome.

    I’m trying my utmost best to make her as awesome, if not more, in Bad Apple. For one thing, my Victoria is very insightful, snarky and she has a distinct dislike of stalkers.

    I write according to book canon, and in book canon you need to burn the vampires and scatter their ashes so that they don’t come back.

    Thanks for the info – I needed that.

    That’s how indestructible they are.

    coughsuesandstuscough

    Also less awesome than it sounds.

    How do you screw up a gory regeneration-scene?

    I know, I mean, who even DOES that?

    Obviously someone who is severely deranged. And here I thought that

    was bad. I’m really sorry if that disturbed anyone, but I’m not making it up.
    Just can’t seem to get my grubby little hands on the link.

  14.  

    Trust me, we of all people have known about that for a while.

    How do you screw up a gory regeneration-scene?

    I. Have. No. Idea. Probably something to do with the fact that they’re marble, not blood and flesh. No mess here, folks! Just reattach and resume business as normal!

  15.  

    Trust me, we of all people have known about that for a while.

    Ah, I see.

    No mess here, folks!

    B-b-b-b-but they have liquid venom inside of them! Shouldn’t that be spilling out when you rip them apart?

    @your arm-ad: iz teh lulz.

  16.  

    Ah, I see.

    Yeah, that about covers it, right? :)

    q. B-b-b-b-but they have liquid venom inside of them! Shouldn’t that be spilling out when you rip them apart?

    You would think so, b-b-b-b-but they’re still MARBLE! ... woah. ‘Nother continutity error.

  17.  

    Yeah, that about covers it, right? :)

    Yes. Yes, it does.;-)

    ‘Nother continutity error.

    TRUTH!11!!!!1111!!
    The whole shtick of the “climax” (for want of a better word) of Twilight was that Edward had to suck James’ venom out of Bella’s system, otherwise….

  18.  

    Yeah, I know they have venom, but they’re also—hang on. I’m going to the library or something after I finish studying today, and then I’ll research Breaking Dawn and Twilight and find out what’s what.

    You’d think I’d know this already, but for some reason, I don’t.

  19.  

    As far as I know, Word of SM has stated that upon turning, “all the bodily fluids” in the human turns into venom. As in everything.
    Cleolinda said that in Breaking Dawn, Alice gave NewlyMeyerpired!Bella contacts so she would look human (because she still has red eyes) and she warned her to put on new ones regularly…. otherwise the venom of her eyes will melt them up.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2010
     

    What I always wondered was…

    So vampires’ skin is pretty tough, right? Regardless of how gooey or non-gooey their innards are (which is an interesting question on its own—is it just the skin of a vampire that’s marble-ish, with gooey bits inside, or are they solid all the way through? To put it in other words, do they have a crunchy shell like a chocolate-covered ice cream bar, or are they solid all the way through like a fudgesicle?), their outer skin is pretty hard to punch through. But… presumably, there’s SOMETHING that could cut through a vampire’s skin. Like an armor-piercing bullet or something. So if a vampire gets shot with one of those and it leaves a hole in them, does it heal up again? Are vampires capable of healing? Smeyer probably never thought about this, because she just assumed vampires could never get injured, but what if they did? This has seriously bugged me since I read the books for the first time three years ago.

  20.  

    You know, swenson – I’ve wondered about that quite a bit myself.

    To put it in other words, do they have a crunchy shell like a chocolate-covered ice cream bar, or are they solid all the way through like a fudgesicle?

    I think it’s the first one. But the shell is thicker than that – it’s more like those chocolate bars you get with a rather thick chocolate-and-nougat crust surrounding a core of caramel…. and now I’m drooling. Dammit.

    Are vampires capable of healing?

    Edward got beat up in the New Moon movie. He healed immediately.

    Smeyer probably never thought about this, because she just assumed vampires could never get injured, but what if they did?

    Burn them immediately, before they Get Better. That’s how James and Victoria were killed, according to Steph above. Presumably Laurent too, because we have to assume that the Quileute’s know how to kill a meyerpire (it makes sense that they do).

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 9th 2010
     

    Ah, that’s true, I forgot about the whole “must be burned or they rebuild themselves” thing. So I guess vampires don’t feel pain, then, even when injured.

  21.  

    I don’t know about that one.
    Some (I’m not going to say “a lot”, because I don’t know the ratio) characters in various fiction have had the instantaneous healing-factor, but they also felt the pain of whatever injury they suffered, as if their nervous system didn’t know the problem was going to be solved in seconds/minutes. Most of the healing-characters I’ve created myself were like that – not immune to pain.

    Also, in my Bad Apple-planning, James will feel some rather nasty pain at the end. Poor guy.

  22.  

    Some (I’m not going to say “a lot”, because I don’t know the ratio) characters in various fiction have had the instantaneous healing-factor, but they also felt the pain of whatever injury they suffered, as if their nervous system didn’t know the problem was going to be solved in seconds/minutes. Most of the healing-characters I’ve created myself were like that – not immune to pain.

    Yeah, in the NM-verse I have it working where vamps (both kinds, and some other, similar creatures) feel only a dull ache if they get hurt say… with bullets or blades or whatever.

    Now if they get injured by something they’re weak to, then it HURTS like hell. But then I was raised in a medical household so thoughts like these (senses, healing, rates, etc) are always rumbling around when I’m writing stuff.

  23.  
    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    BWHAHAHAHAHA.

    This was made for us.

  24.  

    ^^Totally. Finally, something that breaks down Twilight and analyses it—and finds stuff that I’ve been doing wrong that I thought was right.

  25.  

    I think I got a link to that on tvtropes once.

    Also, someone (I think it’s a her, although I’m not sure), has gone to the trouble of rewriting the whole damn series saga. Like so.

    Apparently, there’s one for New Moon too, and I think Eclipse is either finished or under construction.
    Have to admit, I’m four chapters into the Twilight-one and it’s really good.

  26.  

    I am suddenly very insecure about my writing, because I think I do some of the things that are ripped apart in that Tumblr blog. :O

  27.  

    This one made me lol:

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    Eeee, I love that site! It’s great! I am now off to read all 29 pages of it immediately.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     


    •  
      CommentAuthorThea
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    That is a great site, yay! I’m loving it.

    Twilight related: I was at Barnes & Noble and on the clearance table found packs of Twilight and New Moon door knob hangers. I mean, at least they were on clearance, but I’m so disturbed they exist and to buy no less. Just, why?

  28.  

    Love that bottom pic Taku.

    The phrase “churn your butter” is so hilarious when applied to Edward because it could actually be literal in his case…

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    I love that one too. Because, when it comes down to it, there’s any number of non-creepy things he could be doing at night instead of stalking Bella. For starters, he could be, oh, I dunno… pursuing her in an actually romantic manner, if that’s what he really wants! Like writing the soppy poetry mentioned in the pic, or something.

    Or, if he’s so gung-ho about helping people or something, become a superhero. Vampire Man!

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    Vampire Man!

    Fanfic time?

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    Ohhh, and here’s a fun one from RwV:

    I tried to make those faces in the mirror and… well, let’s just say that I think it’s physically impossible for someone’s eyes to burn with sincerity. Or to dance. Or to be “tight”, whatever that means.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    My eyes can dance. Their specialty is the tango.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 25th 2010
     

    Mine want to take flamenco lessons, but I’m trying to convince them to take ballroom dancing instead.

    Also, I am currently listening to That’s How You Know from the Enchanted soundtrack, and after reading all the Twilight-related stuff on RwV, I’m struck by how romantic the suggestions in that song are (write a note for your love, wear a certain color just because it matches her eyes, sending flowers to her, etc.) YOU WILL NOTICE HOW NONE OF THEM ARECLIMB IN HER WINDOW AT NIGHT AND WATCH HER SLEEP”.

  29.  

    I tried to make those faces in the mirror and… well, let’s just say that I think it’s physically impossible for someone’s eyes to burn with sincerity. Or to dance. Or to be “tight”, whatever that means.

    I’m torn… on the one hand, sometimes I think this society gets too literal minded. On the other, a “junk food” book I’m reading through is abusing metaphors to the point I’m also ready for all fiction to be written in scientific/reporting format.

    Though with some actors (if they’re really good) you can think of times where their eyes fitted those descriptions.

  30.  

    Though with some actors (if they’re really good) you can think of times where their eyes fitted those descriptions.

    On a complete tangent, yeah, I want to be one of them some day.

    I am suddenly very insecure about my writing, because I think I do some of the things that are ripped apart in that Tumblr blog. :O

    This. Only, don’t be too upset, SWQ. You’re only a teenager. You can’t be expected to know everything.

  31.  

    Thanks, Steph. :)

  32.  

    Hey, I’m trying to reassure myself too :)

    Not that I didn’t mean what I said.

  33.  

    The phrase “churn your butter” is so hilarious when applied to Edward because it could actually be literal in his case…

    Ah yes…lol.

    You can’t be expected to know everything.

    No one nobody can.
    You’re never too old to learn.
    Hell, I’m still learning new things everyday, and I’m old enough to remember a time when all boys worshipped Britney Spears and all girls worshipped Westlife and the Backstreet Boys.
    Even worse – I’m old enough to remember when computers didn’t have mice yet.

  34.  

    Even worse – I’m old enough to remember when computers didn’t have mice yet.

    Wait, what? Is that even possible?

  35.  

    Is that even possible?

    Used to be.
    Early nineties, when I was a toddler, my parents bought a computer for the first time.
    Really ugly, slow-working thing it was – you know floppy disks, the precursors of flash drives?
    That one worked with the old-school version of floppy disks; big, flaccid things the size of A4 pages.

    And yes, it didn’t have a mouse.

  36.  

    But how does that even work?

    Dad showed me an old floppy disk once, and I couldn’t believe how big it was.

  37.  

    But how does that even work?

    I’m not sure, seeing as how I never worked with them myself, but I think you hold it with both hands and shove it in – kind of like feeding a piece of paper to a printer.

  38.  

    P’sha, you youngersters have it easy. I navigate through my computer without a mouse FOR FUN!

    Punchcards… now that’s the way to do it. I’m not letting my kids on facebook till they build a working computer from materials in our backyard.

    Now get off my lawn! [waves cane]

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 26th 2010 edited
     

    When I was… four, I believe, my parents got a Windows 95 computer, but we still had an older one that didn’t have a mouse and had, like, four colors. You have to input all the commands with the keyboard, except it was so old I don’t even think it had DOS yet. I’m pretty sure it was from the 80s. But we had it for quite a while because there were some games on there, so we kids could play around with it.

    I’m not sure when we finally sold it off, maybe in the early 2000s, but I kinda wish we’d kept it now, for old times’ sake…

    Also, more on topic is this:

  39.  

    We’ve always had computers for as long I can remember, and the desktops (not the laptops until recently) were always really up to date because my dad works with computers, and he would build computers from parts. I don’t remember not having a mouse. I was a toddler when I started playing games and stuff on our computer. I had one game that came on a little floppy drive. New computers won’t play old games, even if their on a disc. This makes me sad. :(

    He drives a bishop on a chess board.

    I like this.

    •  
      CommentAuthorTakuGifian
    • CommentTimeNov 26th 2010
     

    We had an Amiga when I was little. Technically, it did have a mouse, but very much an early prototype. We had Lemmings, and one other game I cannot remember most of, an economics-based galaxy game.

  40.  

    So, uh, here’s a picture of Bella’s hand from Breaking Dawn.

    When you see where this pic comes from, you will shit bricks.

  41.  

    BleedingCool?

  42.  

    Yeah, but I meant where this picture came from within the film itself..

  43.  

    Sex scene I’m guessing.

    And I just checked, and yes it is.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 26th 2010 edited
     

    Yeah, I read the book, and it’s the sex scene. I knew instantly where it was from, because that scene is unfortunately cemented in my head and I have never yet been able to get it out, even after… what has it been, two years since I read BD? There are things from 4chan I’ve been able to forget more easily than that scene.

  44.  

    I for one am glad I didn’t forget it, because it was [expletive] hilarious.

    EDIT: She does have a nice hand, though, you can say that for her :)

    I just can’t wait to hear Robert Pattinson say, “I bit a pillow”.

  45.  

    She does have a nice hand, though, you can say that for her :)

    I found this much funnier than I think it was intended to be.

    I just can’t wait to hear Robert Pattinson say, “I bit a pillow”.

    I think I might need to read the big scenes in Breaking Dawn that everyone talks about. But not the rest of it. Never the rest of it.

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 26th 2010
     

    You must read the whole honeymoon scene, the place where Edward offers Jacob the chance to have puppies with Bella, the imprinting, and the birth.

    The rest of the book is lame.

  46.  

    the place where Edward offers Jacob the chance to have puppies with Bella

    ...What?

    Wow, I think Edward just surpassed himself in presumptuousness.

  47.  

    ...What?

    You didn’t see that quote? I saw it somewhere. I think it was on this site. It’s like about if Bella wants babies, she can have “puppies” with Jacob and still be with Edward. Or, “I’ll lend you my wife to impregnate if you have her back by eleven.”

  48.  

    “I’ll lend you my wife to impregnate if you have her back by eleven.”

    ...I don’t even know how to express my deep and utter horror.

  49.  

    ^^That’s not an actual quote in case I gave you that impression. That’s just what the general sentiment seemed to be.

  50.  

    Oh. Okay, that’s a bit better, I guess.

  51.  

    He drives a bishop on a chess board.

    I like this, too.

    BleedingCool?

    Say whut?

    Yeah, I read the book, and it’s the sex scene.

    I only read Cleolinda’s recap, and according to her (and several other people) it’s completely skimmed over. Like, Bella wakes up, covered in feathers, and she goes: “What happened last night?”

    And Edward goes: “You and I had way too much tequila totally did it last night, for the first time. Sorry about the broken bed, though,”

    She does have a nice hand, though, you can say that for her :)

    Actually, yeah – she definitely does.

    I just can’t wait to hear Robert Pattinson say, “I bit a pillow”.

    “How do you feel, Edward?”
    “Oh, not too bad, a little down in the mouth,”

    (And no, I didn’t invent that particular incredibly lame pun….)

  52.  

    “I’ll lend you my wife to impregnate if you have her back by eleven.”
    ^^That’s not an actual quote in case I gave you that impression. That’s just what the general sentiment seemed to be.

    Shame, that would have improved the book.

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2010
     

    Well, there is a bit of that…

    Edward: I don’t care about anything but keeping her alive. If it’s a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that’s what it takes.

    And later, Jacob: I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? SO messed up. So tempting.

    Close enough.

  53.  

    At least Jacob has scruples.

  54.  
    He drives a Bishop on a Chessboard.

    Bwahaha.

    Ladies and Gentlemen: Nightmare Fuel.

    •  
      CommentAuthorOldArnold
    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2010
     
    Hey. I heard recently that there was going to be a fifth book in this series. Is that true?
  55.  

    When you see where this pic comes from, you will shit bricks.

    I saw a magazine that proclaimed “RPatz & KStewart married!”.

    [Insert “home video” joke here]

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2010 edited
     

    So I did a Wordle of my NaNovel earlier today (it’s here , if you’re interested!), and it got me thinking… what are the most prominent words in Twilight? Wonder no longer, fellow Imps, for I have found the answer!

    No, it’s not Edward, actually. It’s “eyes”. Which, honestly, is not all that surprising. Second is, of course, our boy Eddie. “Voice”, “hand”, “lips”, “expression”, “hair”, and, interestingly enough, “truck” are also prominent. Here it is, if you’d like to see what I came up with.

    And then for fun penance, I did the other three main books, too. Here we are:
    New Moon (Jacob is number one, but Edward, Alice, and Charlie are also quite important. Eyes and voice again show up.)
    Eclipse (Edward has managed to get the number one spot at last, but Jacob and eyes are still in the running. And “face”.)
    Breaking Dawn (this time, Edward absolutely overpowered every single other word. But “eyes” is still there! My word, woman, can you think of something to talk about other than Edward’s liquid topaz ochre sparkling dancing brooding smoldering eyes?!)

    I think I see a couple of trends here…

    •  
      CommentAuthorJabrosky
    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2010
     

    I am surprised that a character’s name would be the most commonly used word in a book.

  56.  

    BleedingCool?

    The name of the website it came from.

  57.  

    Oh my god, Wordle is amazing! I love it! I am saving it and I’m going to create one when my draft is finished!

    Off topic, but I wanted to gush. Thanks, swenson!

    •  
      CommentAuthorOldArnold
    • CommentTimeNov 27th 2010
     
    Hey, is it true that there's a fifth book coming out? That's what I heard.
  58.  

    I have no idea…I wouldn’t be surprised if she continued to write related books that aren’t directly about Edward or Bella.

  59.  

    Hey, is it true that there’s a fifth book coming out? That’s what I heard.

    Well… there was Midnight Sun, a “fifth” book (really a retelling of book 1) that she was working on, then quit.
    Then there’s the short life of bree tanner (or something) which… pushes the limits of what might be called a book.

    So the answer is… “depending on how you want to define things.”

  60.  

    The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner is what I think you’re referring to.

  61.  

    ^That one.

    Also, the one half or whatever that she finished of Midnight Sun is available somewhere. And Cleolinda, being the wonderful person she is, recapped it in her typically snarky and deconstructive manner.

  62.  

    Midnight Sun is avaliable on SMeyer’s website. It’s good in the sense that it’s like this fascinating insight into the mind of a creepy, self-aware stalker who can’t force himself stop what he’s doing. And who talks like a middle-aged woman.

    In the right hands, it would’ve been one of my favourite books ever.

  63.  

    creepy, self-aware stalker

    Yes, he is pretty self-aware.
    I’m currently going through cleo’s recap.

    And who talks like a middle-aged woman.

    One part what you said, and one part five-year-old boy. Stuff like “The only love I’ve ever felt was a mother’s love”, anyone?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2010
     

    I am surprised that a character’s name would be the most commonly used word in a book.

    I just Wordled my three NaNo novels and a separate WIP, and the main characters’ names were by far the most prominent words in all of them.

    D:

    •  
      CommentAuthorDiamonte
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2010
     

    I don’t see what’s wrong with having that as your most common word if you’re telling a story in 3rd person.

  64.  

    ^ This. Same thing happened with my NaNo so far, although the words ‘like’ ‘something’ and ‘someone’ were too large for my liking. Will have to change that.

    •  
      CommentAuthorswenson
    • CommentTimeNov 28th 2010
     

    Oh, and just for clarification, Wordle takes out common English words like “the”.

    “Like” came out HUGE in mine too! The other big ones were my main characters, of course.

  65.  

    Wordle takes out common English words like ‘the’

    Oh right. Haha.

  66.  

    For my WiP so far:

    I use “like” and “just” too much. It’s in first person, and Wordle gets rid of “I,” so the other three main characters that have been there so far got a lot.

  67.  

    Funny… I always thought the most commonly used word in the Twilight saga would be “chagrin”.;D

    •  
      CommentAuthorApep
    • CommentTimeNov 29th 2010
     

    No, no, that’s the most commonly miss-used word in Twilight.

  68.  

    Truth.
    Sorry.

  69.  

    No, no, that’s the most commonly miss-used word in Twilight.

    Apep, I sincerely hope that was a joke.

  70.  

    So apparently there are a bunch of “cleverly named” chapters in Breaking Dawn, in which we get Jacob’s POV.
    Fascinating.
    Reminds me of My Immortal, Chapter 8, where we are suddenly, without prior warning, thrust into Draco’s head so he can tell us his backstory about how he used to do it go out with Harry-Vampire.

    Also, the moment I heard of Midnight Sun, I immediately thought of Chapter 37 – where we get an officially labelled section: DARKO’S PONT OF VIEW LOL.
    Said section lasts just about long enough for Draco/Darko to look at Enoby and tell us that “she wuz so hot”.
    So yeah.
    Anyone doing a My Immortal-parallel count for the saga?

    •  
      CommentAuthorSpanman
    • CommentTimeDec 3rd 2010
     

    No, no, that’s the most commonly miss-used word in Twilight.

    cough

  71.  

    Actually, thinking it over, it does work as a double-pun, because, a) he’s changing ‘used’ to ‘mis-used’, and then b) he misuses the word ‘miss’. In which case that was an extremely clever joke.

    I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before, but they’ve done a really bad job photoshopping Kristen Stewart’s face—it now looks as though her head and her hair are entirely separate creatures.

    And, to round it off, smartbitchestrashybooks had a competition for their readers to Twilightise books that ranged from the dictionary to King Lear.

  72.  

    All three of our “heroes” are badly photoshopped – Jacob looks like a wax statue.

    Where can you see those Twilightised covers?

  73.  

    ^ That’s what I want to know.